Thursday, March 2, 2000                                             Edition:  #1755

BS THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
• Cats’ facial expressions.
• The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
• Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds.
• ‘Fat clothes’.
• The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell.
• Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
• The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
• OTHER women.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Backstreet Boys are offering a preview of their comic book novel and animated adventures at backstreetproject.com . . . The British producers of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” are developing a spinoff in which a single contestant is asked numerous questions in his field of expertise . . . Santana’s “Supernatural” has now topped the 8 million sales mark, making it the all-time best-selling album by a Latin artist . . . Rumor is Britney Spears is so infatuated with Brad Pitt she kisses a picture of him every morning, and Jennifer Aniston has warned her to stay away from him.

MOVIES GETTING MADE:
The plot of the upcoming “Blair Witch 2″ begins with 3 teens looking up the original “Blair Witch Project” Website and deciding to embark on their own wilderness adventure (gee, what a twist – it’s 3 DIFFERENT teens) . . . Another sequel, “Pokémon the Movie 2000″, will feature 6 new characters attempting to prevent the Pokémon from being annihilated by a mysterious force (a coalition of fed-up parents?) . . . Sarah Michelle Gellar will play a Harvard philosophy professor who has an affair with a varsity basketball player in “Harvard Man” (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” as a philosophy prof? Wow, this’ll take some acting!) . . . Will Smith is in talks to star in “Phone Booth”, a thriller about a guy who becomes the target of a sniper after answering a ringing public phone (who then goes on to steal the hook line from an old hit record to create a mega-selling theme song called “Phone Booth”).

CO-WORKERS KEELING OVER COULD BE A CLUE:
The UK’s Cambridge Silicon Radio has developed a tiny computer chip that will be embedded in  toothbrushes to warn about bad breath. The so-called ‘Bluetooth’ chip may also be used in refrigerators to detect sour milk. (Maybe if you hooked one up to your TV you could find out which show’s stink.)

BIG HEAD:
In a study of Albert Einstein’s preserved brain, scientists in Toronto have discovered that his inferior parietal region — the portion of the brain related to mathematical reasoning — was 15% wider than normal on both sides of his head. (The only recent example of this fluke has been observed in Prince Charles.)

WE THOUGHT SHE ONLY WANTED TO BE SENATOR:
A political satire company known as the ‘Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Postal Service’ is selling the ‘Queen Hillary I commemorative stamp’.
PHONER: 561-361-8145 (Gene McDonald-Boca Raton FL)
NET: http://www.queenhillary.com

THE BULL SHEET 03.02.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1942    [58] Lou Reed (Louis Firbank), NYC, ground-breaking rock musician (Walk on the Wild Side)
1962    [38] Jon Bon Jovi, Perth Amboy NJ, classic rock musician (Bon Jovi-Always, Living On a Prayer)/movie actor (Homegrown, Moonlight & Valentino)
1962    [38] Al Del Greco, Providence RI, NFL kicker (Tennessee Titans)
1972    [28] Richard Ruccolo, Marlton NJ, TV actor (Pete Dunville-Two Guys and a Girl)
1977    [23] Heather McComb, Barnegat NJ, TV actress (Maggie-Party of Five)

BS REASONS TO PARTY  . . .
[Texas] Independence Day
[USA] Read Across America Day

March is “National Talk With Your Teen About Sex Month” as declared by the group “Parenting Without Pressure”, who have the notion your teen knows nothing. Things you might want to ask your teen – “Does that tongue stud really help?”, and “How can dad and I achieve simultaneous satisfaction?”

It’s officially “Working Dog Week”, to honor dogs working for humanity. Ask listeners about unusual jobs for dogs they’ve come across. (What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.)

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1991    New record set for lowest flaming limbo bar height (6 inches)
1996    Celine Dion releases smash album “Falling Into You”
1999    Sugar Ray releases hit single “Every Morning”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1923    [77] 1st issue of “Time” magazine
1951    [49] 1st NBA ‘All-Star Game’
1994    [06] 1st star on Miami’s ‘Latin Walk of Fame’ (Gloria Estefan)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] US National Anthem Day
[Wed] International Women’s Day
Save Your Vision Week
National Peanut Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
TRUTH OR BS?

• The FBI admits that those Internet hackers they’ve been hunting have busted into the bureau’s own site. (T. The hunters have become the hunted.)
• Your hair and fingernails continue to grow after death. (BS. Contrary to popular belief, medical experts say it’s shrinkage of the skin around fingertips and hair follicles that reveals more of the departed’s tresses and nails.)
• Researchers are working to develop the ‘marijuana suppository’. (T. It’s being touted as a way to make ‘medical marijuana’ less appealing to those who don’t really need it.)
• Only 5% of working wives make more than their husband. (BS. In fact, new figures show that nearly 1 in 3 working wives is now paid more than her hubby.)
• A new mammal has just been discovered in South America — a giant tree rat the size of a house cat. (T. Biologists have named it ‘Sir’.)

THE LAST WORD: I always wanted to be ‘somebody’, but maybe I should have been more specific.


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