Monday, March 2, 2009        Edition: #3965
Sheet For Brains!

• Radio broadcasting icon Paul Harvey died Saturday at age 90 in his winter home near Phoenix AZ. Harvey began his radio career in 1933; debuted his coast-to-coast “News & Comment” on ABC Radio Networks in 1951; and unveiled his masterpiece, the long-running “Rest Of the Story” vignettes, in 1976. Cause of death has not been announced. (Perhaps fossilization?)
– “Radio & Records”
• Hard to believe but 21-year-old Rihanna & 19-year-old Chris Brown have apparently reconciled, just 3 weeks after he was accused of beating her on the day of the Grammy Awards. A report says they’ve been spending time together in a Miami FL house owned by Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs. A source claims they’re together again because ‘they care for each other’. (They find bloody odd ways of showing it.)
• Meantime, an insider close to Brown’s legal team says he’ll claim self-defense if charges are filed against him over the incident. The story will be that she lost it and attacked him, throwing a phone and hitting him in the head. The LA County District Attorney is still considering whether to file charges. (Doesn’t matter. It’s Hollywood … everybody gets off!)
– “Life & Style”
• Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony are suing a high-end baby stroller company for $30 million, alleging it used a photo of them in advertisements without permission. (The nerve! What if they were planning on selling that photo to a trashy celeb magazine?)
• Irish actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers has reportedly checked into a UK rehab center in a bid to kick his drinking problem for good. It’s his 3rd attempt: In 2005, he spent time at Promises Clinic in Malibu CA; then underwent further treatment in 2007. Word is producers of his TV series “The Tudors” (BBC/Showtime/CBC) warned him to get his act together during filming of the program’s 3rd season. (No wonder his ‘Henry VIII’ seems a tad out of control.)
– “Daily Dish”
• In an obvious publicity stunt, Vivid Entertainment has offered America’s famous ‘Octo-Mom’ $1 million to appear in a series of adult films. But Nadya Suleman has turned down the offer of a skin flick career, saying her mom didn’t bring her up like that and, besides, what would her 14 kids think when they grow up? (And besides, when does this woman have the time?)
• 31-year-old New England Patriots QB Tom Brady & 28-year-old Brazilian model Gisele Bundchen quietly wed in a small, private ceremony at a beachside church in Santa Monica CA Thursday. They followed up with a small reception at their Brentwood home for guests that included their families, her dogs, and his ex-girlfriend, actress Bridget Moynahan who brought their 1-and-a-half-year-old son. (Now they can get on with the important task of siring a new race of super-beings.)
• A rep for actress Evangeline Lilly says online speculation that the “Lost” star will be killed off before the series’ natural conclusion in May, 2010 is simply not true. Pop culture website Zap2it reported that Lilly has been auditioning for TV pilots that are intended to launch this Fall, a sure sign she’d no longer be appearing on “Lost”. An ABC-TV source points out, however, that Lilly is contracted to star on “Lost” through the end of the 6th and final season. (Is there any other reason to watch?)
• The father of Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, one of the young Indian actors in “Slumdog Millionaire”, has apologized for beating his son in front of reporters a day after the 10-year-old returned to Mumbai from the Academy Awards. Shocking photos show the child cowering in a corner of his home after allegedly being slapped and kicked. The father says he’s sorry for what he did, claiming he was confused and stressed by his son’s homecoming. Witnesses say the father apparently got ticked when his young son was reluctant to speak with the press gathered outside their home. (Take away this guy’s parenting license!)
• While many are still speculating on who will, who won’t, and who shouldn’t be cast in the “Twilight” movie sequel “New Moon”, there’s already buzz about who may direct the 3rd film in the franchise, “Eclipse”. 34-year-old actress Drew Barrymore has reportedly been approached by the producers even though her directorial debut, the upcoming Ellen Page roller derby flick, “Whip It!”, doesn’t premiere until this Fall. (Might work out: She needs them to add to her directing cred; they need her for … her name.)
– “Entertainment Weekly”


• Billy Joel & Elton John – Another leg of their “Face 2 Face” tour kicks off tonight in Jacksonville FL and runs through May 30th in Toronto.
• “Corner Gas” (CTV) – In the comedy’s 100th episode, the residents of ‘Dog River’ attempt to go TV-free.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – New Kids On the Block are the musical guests.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – As Fallon replaces host Conan O’Brien (who’s moving to the “Tonight Show”), his debut show features Robert De Niro, Justin Timberlake, and Van Morrison. The Roots are the show’s new house band.
• “Late Night With David Letterman” (CBS) – U2 begins an unprecedented 5-night stand, a publicity stunt to hype their 12th album, “No Line On the Horizon”, out tomorrow.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Former “American Idol” Taylor Hicks is on.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Chart-toppers The Fray (“You Found Me”) perform.


• Amy Winehouse – After months on the Caribbean island of St Lucia, she’s reportedly headed back to London in an attempt to save her marriage (again) to her just-released ex-con hubby Blake Fielder-Civil. (Here comes trouble.)
• Jewel – She’s been diagnosed with tendinitis (aka ‘tennis elbow’) in her knees but is still expected to perform as a contestant during the season premiere of “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) on March 9th.
• MGMT – The Brooklyn NY band is suing French President Nicolas Sarkozy (‘sahr-ko-ZEE’), accusing him of using their hit “Kids” in online videos for his UMP party without permission. The group’s lawyer is arguing an initial fee of 53 euros ($90) to gain use of the song was not enough.
• Michael Jackson – According to Ian Halperin, author of the upcoming book “Unmasked, The Michael Jackson Story”, the ‘King of Pop’ has recorded over 100 songs in secret but they won’t be heard until after his death. It seems he wants to leave them for his kids as a personal legacy.
• U2 – Friday night they capped off a day of promotion for their new album with a 4-song set on the roof of the BBC’s London office tower. (That’s so Beatles.)
• Wilco – They’ll release a live DVD documentary called “Ashes Of American Flags” in April. Their as-yet-untitled next studio album is due sometime in June, according to “Rolling Stone”.

Doodling may help the mind remain alert during dull tasks. Researchers at Britain’s Plymouth University have carried out a series of memory tests on volunteers, asking them to listen to a phone call, then recall names and places. Results show that doodlers performed 29% better than non-doodlers. The scientists think doodling stops us from daydreaming, which turns out to be a greater diversion. Bottom line: Doodling seems to help us do mundane work. (Hey, look at the clown face I just drew …)
– “Daily Mail”

Times are tough but lots of people still have good jobs and still want to drive around in style. The result: Demand for slightly used luxury cars is booming, even as new vehicle sales sag. These days buying a well-tended 3-year-old BMW with an extended warranty is likely a prudent move in a household where a new car every 3 years used to be the standard. A second-hand luxury car can also be a status symbol in its own right, a choice that says the owner is fortunate and has good taste, but also knows that now isn’t a time for ostentatious display. (Are you listening, Mariah?)
– “Wall Street Journal”

54-year-old American artist Jeff Koons is building what may be the world’s most expensive artwork, a 160-ft (49-m) sculpture of a crane hauling up a reproduction of a steam locomotive. The total cost of making the steel and aluminum artwork simply titled “Train”, which will produce its own steam and feature turning wheels, will be an estimated $32 million. The work, commissioned by the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, is expected to take 4 years to build.
– “New York Times”

• There is a small department in the Vatican whose job it is to come up with new Latin words for the moments the Pope has to bless modern stuff like helicopters. (‘Helicoptorum’?)
• Peanut and tree nut allergies have almost tripled over the past decade, with an estimated 1-in-50 children now afflicted, according to the British-based Anaphylaxis Campaign. (A result of more people born with the allergy or more nuts in our food products?)
– BBC News


“Most people get interested in stocks when everyone else is. The time to get interested is when no one else is. You can’t buy what is popular and do well.”
– American billionaire Warren Buffett. (Note: Today is the deadline for 2008 RSP contributions in Canada.)


1942 [67] Lou Reed, Freeport NY, classic rock singer (“Walk On the Wild Side”)

1962 [47] Jon Bon Jovi, Perth Amboy NJ, pop singer (w/Jennifer Nettles-“Who Says You Can’t Go Home”, Bon Jovi-“Always”)

1968 [41] Daniel Craig, Chester UK, movie actor (“Defiance”, “Quantum Of Solace”)

1977 [32] Chris Martin, Exeter UK, pop singer (Coldplay-“Viva La Vida”, “Clocks”)/married to actress Gwyneth Paltrow since 2003

1982 [27] Ben Roethlisberger, Lima OH, NFL QB (2 Super Bowls-Pittsburgh Steelers [2006, 2009])

• “Old Stuff Day”, either a celebration of antiques or perhaps … dating a cougar?

• “Talk With Your Teen About Sex Month” as declared by the group “Parenting Without Pressure”, who somehow have the notion you know more than your teen.

• “Working Dog Week”, to honor dogs working for humanity. Ask listeners about unusual jobs for dogs they’ve come across.


1933 [76] “King Kong” premieres in NYC, heralded at the time as one of the greatest adventure movies of all-time

1977 [32] Jay Leno makes his debut appearance on the “Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson”, never guessing that he’ll be taking over as host in 15 years

1984 [25] Rob Reiner’s rock group mockumentary satire, “This Is Spinal Tap”, opens in movie theaters

2008 [01] Canadian jazz & blues musician Jeff Healey dies in Toronto at age 41

1923 [86] 1st issue of “TIME” magazine


1962 [47] Wilt Chamberlain sets NBA scoring record of 100 points in a game while playing for the Philadelphia Warriors, who beat the NY Knicks 169-147 (“Hey Wilt, like would it kill you to pass the ball off once in a while?”)

1991 [08] New record for ‘Lowest Flaming Limbo Bar Height’ is set at a minuscule 6 inches

[Tues] I Want You To Be Happy Day
[Tues] Rascal Flatts opens Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo (TX)
[Wed] International Scrapbooking Day
[Thurs] Multiple Personalities Day
[Thurs] Unique Names Day
[Fri] Frozen Food Day
[Fri] “Watchmen” opens in movie theaters

Celebrate Your Name Week / Cheerleading Week / Consumer Protection Week / Ghostwriters Week / Newspaper in Education Week / Procrastination Week / Professional Pet Sitters Week / Return the Borrowed Book Week / Save Your Vision Week / School Breakfast Week / Sleep Awareness Week / Telecommuter Appreciation Week / Universal Human Beings Week / Words Matter Week / World Folk Tales & Fables Week / Write a Letter Of Appreciation Week


A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• More than 98% of convicted felons eat bread.
• Fully half of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
• More than 90% of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
• Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water begged for bread after only 2 days.


Just like ‘Sideshow Bob’, “The Simpsons” refuses to die. The longest-running series in primetime TV history has just been extended for yet another 2 seasons by FOX-TV. After 2 decades, isn’t it time to put it to bed?

Dr Stanley Coren, a University of British Columbia psychology professor, has developed the “Doggy IQ Test”, a self-scoring intelligence test for dogs. His video outlines 12 procedures to confront your pooch with, some involving problem-solving, others dealing with learning ability and memory. The video sells for about $7 or you can do s similar test yourself for free here …


An elderly man walks into a confessional and tells the priest, “I’m 92-years-old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children and grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up 2 college girls hitchhiking. We went to a motel where I made love with each of them 3 times.” The priest asks, “Are you sorry for your sins?” The man replies, “What sins?” The priest inquires, “What kind of Catholic are you?” The man answers, “I’m Jewish.” Priest: “Then why are you telling me all this?” The man says, “I’m 92-years-old … I’m telling everybody!”

Only 9 men in history have had this honor, usually reserved for women. What?
a. A ‘Best Actress’ nomination at France’s annual “Cesar” film awards.
b. First prize in the long-running annual ‘Pillsbury Bakeoff’.
c. A cover shot on “Playboy” magazine. [CORRECT. This month actor Seth Rogen joins its select group of cover guys that has included Peter Sellers, Jerry Seinfeld, and Donald Trump among others.]


Today’s Question: 2% of students say they’d like to find THIS during Spring Break.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Someone they will marry. (Yeah, likely in a wet T-shirt contest.)

Professionalism means doing it right when no one is watching.

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