Thursday, March 12, 2009        Edition: #3973
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!


Bad news for “Dancing With the Stars” contestant Lil’ Kim – inmates at the Philadelphia PA prison where she did time are not allowed to dial toll-free numbers so they can’t vote for her (even though she’s given them a shout-out on the show) . . . The military game “Call of Duty 4” scooped 3 prizes at this week’s “2009 British Academy of Film & Television Arts Videogame Awards” . . . 42-year-old Garbage frontwoman-turned-actress Shirley Manson (“Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”) says she’s considering hanging up her microphone for good in order to concentrate on developing her TV career . . . “Entertainment Weekly” reports that talks are underway to renew NBC-TV’s critically acclaimed but low-rated “Friday Night Lights” for not one but 2 more seasons (Taylor Kitsch will have a chapped body from taking his shirt off so many times!) . . . Author Clive Cussler has been ordered to pay $13.9 million in legal fees after losing a lawsuit against the film production company that made the money-losing 2005 adaptation of his novel “Sahara” (strike 2, Clive) . . . Despite expressing interest in directing the 3rd “Twilight” movie, actress Drew Barrymore may miss out as Spanish director Juan Antonio Bayona is said to be the new favorite to take the helm of “Eclipse” . . . And “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno has announced he’ll perform a stand-up comedy show called “Jay’s Comedy Stimulus Plan” for jobless Detroit residents on April 7th – for free (if you ask us, that’s still way too expensive).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Rascal Flatts performs.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – George Stroumboulopoulos interviews rocker Bif Naked (“Sick”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – “Love Song” singer Sara Bareilles is on.
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – Today’s 1-hour live program is devoted to dating violence and ‘dedicated to all the Rihannas of the world’. The guest is Tyra Banks. Oprah has often cautioned: “Love doesn’t hurt” and “If a man hits you once, he WILL hit you again.”
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Heather Headley (“In My Mind”) performs.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Keyshia Cole (“Heaven Sent”) is the musical guest.

• Amy Winehouse – She’s announced online that she’d quit music in order to be reunited with her estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil. (Basically, she already ‘quit music’ 3 years ago.)
• Chris Brown – He’s still up for an award at the upcoming Nickelodeon “Kids Choice Awards” despite petitions to have him disqualified. Meantime, “NY Daily News” reports the woman who sent Brown the ‘booty text’ that enraged Rihanna and caused ‘the incident’ was his manager Tina Davis, who’s 39-years-old. (Notice they’re now spinning it like it was Rihanna’s fault?)
• Coolio – The 45-year-old rapper has been charged with cocaine possession and battery stemming from his arrest at LAX. Authorities say he grabbed a screener’s arm to prevent a luggage search that turned up the drugs. (He’ll soon be doing time in “Gangsta’s Paradise”.)
• John Mayer – British newspaper “Daily Mirror” is reporting he’s been spotted shopping for rings at NYC jeweler Lorraine Schwartz, the 5th Ave design house that provided wedding bling for both Jennifer Lopez and Beyoncé.
• Michael Jackson – A further 9 dates have been added to his run of comeback shows in London this Summer after more than a million fans tried to register for tickets. Tickets go on sale to the general public on Friday. (Let’s start a pool on how many shows he’ll actually show up.)
• Paul McCartney – It’s been announced he’s set a record by selling out all 4,000 seats for his upcoming gig at Las Vegas’ Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in … 7 seconds.
• Tina Turner – The 69-year-old has postponed her UK shows this week because she is suffering from respiratory flu.
• Velvet Revolver – Online rumors suggest they’ve picked Gord Prior from Canadian band Blu Bones as the group’s new lead but a rep says that’s simply not so and no decision has been made as to who the new frontman will be. (Time to get on with it … it’s taken an entire year now.)


A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Chariots Of the Gods” –  Erich von Daniken’s 1968 bestselling book that pressed the case that Earth was visited by aliens will be turned into a sci-fi film. The book, which explored evidence that different civilizations were visited by extraterrestrials, was published in 32 languages and sold 68 million copies worldwide. It previously spawned a 1974 documentary.
• “Crazy Eddie” – Danny DeVito is set to direct this pic based on the life of consumer electronics king Eddie Antar, who launched the successful ‘Crazy Eddie’ stores in 1971 but wound up serving 6 years in prison for fraud. The Brooklyn-based chain eventually grew to 43 stores, fueled by TV ads in which a frenzied pitchman promised prices that were ‘In-sa-a-a-a-a-ane!’.
• “Jesus Henry Christ” – Actress Julia Roberts will produce this independent comedy based on an award-winning short film. The story revolves around a boy conceived in a laboratory petri dish and his subsequent search for his biological father. The film will be directed by Dennis Lee, who helmed the original 2003 short.
• “Woodstock: 40th Anniversary” – VH1 and the History Channel will co-produce filmmaker Barbara Kopple’s documentary commemorating the 40th anniversary of the iconic ‘3 Days of Peace and Music’. The feature-length doc, which will run on both cable networks in August, will showcase the legendary rock festival and the days leading up to it.
• “X: The Man With the X-Ray Eyes” – Spanish director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (“28 Weeks Later”) is developing a new film based on Roger Corman’s 1963 pic which starred Ray Milland as a scientist who is near a breakthrough in X-ray vision technology when his funding is cut off. Desperate to show results, the doc applies eye drops that eventually cause him to lose control over his growing powers.


Higher temperatures and lower barometric pressure have been linked to migraine headaches. Researchers at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston MA who studied the cases of 7,000 emergency room patients for 7 years say they’ve found that hospital visits related to headaches significantly increase during the 24 hours that air temperature rises and within a few days of a barometric-pressure drop. Specifically, the new study says migraine-related hospital visits increase by almost 8% within a day of temperatures rising by at least 9 degrees F above what’s expected. (“Mainly sunny today with a chance of extreme pain this afternoon …”)


• Grapples – A genetic cross between a grape and an apple. Has the size and shape of the apple; the texture of the grape; the flavor of both. Originally funded by UNICEF.
• Colorful Carrots – Texas researchers have created a carrot that ranges in colors from yellow through red. They claim it also provides consumers with 40% more calcium than normal carrots.
• Graisins – Giant raisins developed in Japan. They taste the same; they’re just bigger.
• Pluots – The result of combining plums and apricots. Described as an ‘intensely flavored fruit’.
• Tangelo – The sweet hybrid of a tangerine and a grapefruit. Has a slightly tart taste.
• Diabetes-Fighting Lettuce – University of Central Florida scientists have created a genetically modified strain of lettuce that carries the insulin gene.
• Lematos – A cross between a lemon and a tomato developed by Israeli researchers as an experiment to see if it was possible to make tomatoes smell like lemons. Mission accomplished!
– Condensed from

A recent study suggests we fall into 2 distinct types when it comes to showering … those who soap up a section of body at a time and then rinse, and those who lather up their entire body before rinsing off. Medical experts say the former method is better, because it lessens the drying effects of soap. (Did somebody get a government grant to study this?)
– “Prevention Magazine”

A recent survey ranks the favorite things kids play with in the bathtub …
5. Dolls.
4. Toy animals.
3. Cups.
2. Rubber duckies.
1. Boats.
– “Redbook”


• A new poll in the UK has found that 2% of British high school students think that ‘Auschwitz’ is a brand of beer and 60% think the ‘Final Solution’ was the peace plan that ended WW2.
• Some 16 people have been arrested for fighting at a concert in Silver Spring, Maryland. It was a benefit for an advocacy group called … “Stop the Violence”.
– AP
• A company called Sun Dry Swim has produced a swimsuit made of nanomaterials that repel water, so it never gets wet.  Water will just roll off of it, and it will be instantly dry, because technically it never got wet in the first place.
• A 65 year-old-man from Kanpur city in India is taking his secondary school exams … for the 44th time. Undeterred by 43 years of trying without success, Mian Jabbar Husen is determined to make yet another attempt.
– Reuters


A Russian man has died after winning a pancake-eating contest by downing 43 whipped cream-and-banana-stuffed pancakes before choking on a piece of pancake lodged in his throat. A witness says it appeared he really enjoyed the pancakes but then he started foaming at the mouth and ‘went down like a sack of stones’.
– “Daily Mirror”


1946 [63] Liza Minnelli, Hollywood CA, self-possessed singer/stage & movie actress (Oscar-“Cabaret”)/youngest to ever win Tony Award at age 19/daughter of legendary singer-actress Judy Garland/4-time divorcée

1948 [61] James Taylor, Boston MA, oldies singer (“Fire & Rain”, “You’ve Got a Friend”)

1968 [41] Aaron Eckhart, Cupertino CA, movie actor (“The Dark Knight”, “No Reservations”)

• “Girl Scout Day”, celebrating the creation of the first Girl Scout group in America on March 12, 1912 by Juliette Gordon Low in Savannah GA, who gathered together a troop of 18 girls and taught them how to milk a cow, how to tie up a burglar, and the complicated art of boiling water.

• “Middle Name Pride Day”, so stand up and be proud … Alphonse and Gertrude.

2007 [02] Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper does a guest shot on the 4th season finalé of TV comedy “Corner Gas” (CTV)

1969 [40] Paul & Linda McCartney are wed

2007 [02] Van Halen is inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (Eddie Van Halen misses the honor due to a stint in rehab)

1894 [115] Coca-Cola 1st sold in bottles (before that, paper bags?)

1948 [61] 1st chapter of ‘Hell’s Angels Motorcycle Club’ is founded by a breakaway group of the ‘Pissed Off Bastards’ (no BS!) in San Bernardino CA

1969 [40] 1st ‘Bell-Bottom Jeans’ (Levi Strauss Co)

1993 [16] LPGA golfer Anne Marie Palli is penalized for hitting a flying duck and killing it, causing her ball to fall into a water hazard (hey, shouldn’t that be a ‘birdie’?)

[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Fri] Ear Muff Day
[Fri] Good Samaritan Day
[Fri] Open an Umbrella Indoors Day
[Fri] Genealogy Day
[Fri] Canadian Radio Music Awards (Toronto)
[Fri] South-by-Southwest Festival begins (Austin TX)
[Fri] “The Last House on the Left”, “Miss March”, “Race to Witch Mountain” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Sound Relief benefit concerts (Sydney & Melbourne, Australia)
This Week Is … World Clown Week
This Month Is … Workplace Eye Health & Safety Month


According to psychologist Dr Herbert Hoffman, you can tell what kind of husband a man will make by checking his preference in pets …
• Small Dog – Makes an excellent husband for a woman who craves togetherness in the marriage. He wants a wife he can consider his very best friend and rarely casts a flirtatious eye on any other woman.
• Large Dog – This guy would make a good husband for a non-liberated woman. He’ll go along with you having a job but will still expect to have dinner on the table on time.
• Cat – Cat lovers are sensitive, home-loving, gentle and mild-mannered. A cat lovin’ guy is best off when he’s married to a woman with a practical nature because he will tend to be impulsive and not plan for the future.
• Exotic Pets – The woman who marries a man who likes a pet snake, lizard or monkey will rarely be bored. She’ll never be sure of what tomorrow may bring because her mate craves excitement.
• Fish – Women who want intellectually stimulating husbands will find good mates in fish fanciers.
• Birds – Bird men have an above-average devotion to home and family and are true to their word.
• No Pets – Think twice about marrying a man who has never had a pet. He wants his freedom, dislikes responsibility and is exceedingly hard to relate to.
– “The Scotsman”

Chris Brown & Rihanna are reportedly recording a duet together, said to be a love song. What would be the most appropriate song they could record? How about …
• “Break It Off”
• “Shut Up and Drive”
• “Take You Down
• “Hate That I Love You”
• “Say Goodbye”


We tell you a slang term from the UK, you try to guess what it means …
• ‘Cack’ … Rubbish, nonsense. Also excrement.
• ‘Parp’ … To break wind. Also rubbish, nonsense.
• ‘Wabs’ … Female breasts.
• ‘On the Razz’ … Partying. Short for ‘on the razzle’.
• ‘You Have Egg on Your Chin’ … Your fly is undone.
• ‘Argy-Bargy’ … Trouble, noisy quarreling, arguing.


One of the perks of being one of the world’s most beautiful women … your picture in the back rooms of muffler shops everywhere.


Today’s Question: Every week, 1-in-10 Americans makes THIS decision and acts on it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Voting for their favorite “American Idol”.

People should be measured in feats, not feet.

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