Tuesday, March 24, 2009        Edition: #3981
Sweet Sheet!

Officials at the Vatican are apparently planning to attempt a boycott of the upcoming movie “Angels & Demons” (out May 15th), the prequel to 2006’s “The Da Vinci Code” (despite Vatican disapproval, the original made $758 million) . . . Lindsay Lohan says she may turn her back on acting for good because she has ‘more fun’ as a fashion model (BS translation: Absolutely nobody wants me in their movies anymore) . . . According to UK newspaper “The People”, Paul McCartney’s ex-, Heather Mills, has signed a $4.3-million deal to promote a vegetarian menu for fast-food chain Burger King (mmm, flame-broiled celery!) . . . “The Hills“ star Lauren Conrad has scrapped plans to launch a Spring/Summer line of clothing due to the ‘global economic slump’ (BS translation: These duds are so ugly people thought they were Halloween costumes) . . . In a move that’s reportedly shocked movie execs, 21-year-old actor Zac Efron (“High School Musical”) has pulled out of the planned remake of 1984 movie “Footloose”, apparently worried that another high-school-based musical would leave him typecast (you’re smarter than you look, kid!) . . . Roseanne Barr is hoping to re-create the success of her sitcom “Roseanne” (1988-97) by playing the mom in another, as-yet-untitled family comedy that’s being pitched to FOX-TV (at age 56, it’ll need to be a multi-generational family) . . . And Britain’s “Daily Mail” reports that Katie Holmes (Mrs Tom Cruise) camped out at the Ritz-Carlton in Tokyo for ‘intensive pampering sessions’ by a team of beauty experts, emerging after 2 days with a makeover that included hair extensions, spa treatments, and tooth veneers totaling – whoa! – more than $43,000 (no wonder “Mission Impossible 4” is in the works!).


• “American Idol” – Tonight’s show is preempted by a presidential press conference. The performance show goes tomorrow instead, with results on Thursday night.
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Bruce Springsteen appears in a rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Chris Cornell is interviewed.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Reunited 1970s band Chicago is featured.
• Motley Crue – They release a DVD of last year’s “Crue Fest”, including a full concert recorded at the Molson Amphitheatre in Toronto.
• Pearl Jam – “Ten”, their debut album that sold over 12 million copies, is being reissued in 4 new remixed and expanded editions.
• Radiohead – Capitol Records continues to repackage their back catalogue with expanded CD/DVD editions of their first 3 albums, “Pablo Honey”, “The Bends”, and “OK Computer”.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Country star Martina McBride (“Ride”) is on.


• Amy Winehouse – She recorded a lot of music during her Caribbean holiday in St Lucia but we may never hear any of it. According to “The Sun”, she changed her style from soul to reggae and music execs aren’t happy.
• The Beatles – George Harrison’s son Dhani Harrison says Apple Corps is considering establishing its own digital download service to sell The Beatles’ catalogue.
• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – 19-year-old Jay Weinberg will be subbing for his dad, Max Weinberg, as drummer at a small number of gigs this Summer, most likely in Europe.
• Dolly Parton -She ranks 10th among the ‘Most Powerful People in the State of Tennessee’, according to the new “Power 100” survey in “BusinessTN” magazine.
• Katy Perry – Online gossip Perez Hilton claims she’s dating operatic singer Josh Groban but they’re trying to keep it very low profile.
• Lady GaGa – “Poker Face” is now atop Britain’s pop singles charts, repeating the success of “Just Dance”.
• Mary J Blige – She has a role as a  nightclub manager in Tyler Perry’s new movie, “I Can Do Bad All By Myself”, due in theaters September 11th.
• Nirvana – The albums “Nevermind”, “In Utero”, and “MTV Unplugged”, are being reissued in audiophile-quality vinyl for the first time. All 3 will be released by the end of the year.


• “Bolt” ( Family Animation ): A TV wonder dog (voiced by John Travolta) finds himself roaming free on the streets of NYC where he needs to develop new survival skills in order to find his way back home to his owner (Miley Cyrus in her voice-role debut). Co-stars Susie Essman (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”) as ‘Mr Mittens’ the kitten. Also comes in a ‘Deluxe DVD Edition/Digital Copy’.
• “Quantum of Solace” ( Action Adventure ): Daniel Craig returns in the 22nd ‘James Bond’ film, this time avenging the murder of his true love while saving the world from a mad environmentalist. Co-stars Olga Kurylenko (‘Camille’); Judi Dench (‘M’); and Gemma Arterton (‘Strawberry Fields’). Available in a ‘2-Disc Special Edition’.
• Also released today: “2 Fast 2 Furious (2-Disc Limited Edition)”; “The Fast & the Furious (2-Disc Limited Edition)”; “The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2-Disc Limited Edition)”; “Star Wars: The Clone Wars – A Galaxy Divided” (Animation); and “Watchmen: Tales Of the Black Freighter & Under the Hood” (Animation).


A 36-year-old Swedish countess divorcing an American executive claims she simply cannot live on $43 million. Marie Douglas-David says she has no income and needs her 67-year-old husband, George David, to pay her $53,800-a-week to cover her expenses, including maintaining a Park Avenue apartment in NYC and 3 residences in Sweden, $700 for limo service, $1,000 for hair & skin treatments, $1,500 for restaurants & entertainment, $4,500 for clothes, and $8,000 for travel. Her ex- is chairman of the board at United Technologies Corp and has an estimated net worth of $329 million. (He can only afford to pay her for 119 years!)
– AP

The world’s first walking, talking robot has been unveiled by its Japanese inventors. The ‘female’ humanoid robot named HRP-4C uses 30 motors in the body to move her arms and legs, and 8 motors in the face to create facial expressions. HRP-4C is so agile, she’ll be making a special appearance in an upcoming Tokyo fashion show. Want one? Be prepared to pony up big time … $200,000. (Still a lot cheaper than a Swedish countess.)
– BBC News

According to a computer security company survey, these are the words parents most frequently tag on their home computers. ‘Sentry’ software automatically sends an alert to parents when children use or are sent messages featuring tagged words.
1. Suicide
2. Alone
3. Dope
4. Emo
5. Bully
– “The Guardian”


A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 90% of dog owners are convinced their pooch can understand English.
• 67% of TV viewers say they are getting tired of ‘reality shows’.
• 64% of us have openly commented about how dirty someone’s eyeglasses are.
• 40% of us snack more than twice per day.
• 20% of us admit that we will never, ever floss our teeth.
• 15% of us have had only 1 sex partner in our life.


If you still have disposable cash and want to stimulate the economy check out this list of ‘Most Ridiculously Expensive Everyday Items’ in the world and take your pick. Will it be the diamond-encrusted Bluetooth headset ($50,000); the luxury frisbee ($350); the Louis Vuitton Skateboard ($8,250); the gold-plated staples ($175); a can of Tiffany tennis balls ($1500); or the diamond-studded hoodie ($10,000)?
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ajhy8r
– “Curious Times”

Motorized bicycles have always been one of the aspirations of ‘green’ transportation but let’s face it … most of them are clunky. Well, no more! Industrial designer Adrian Van Anz has created a stylish, retro moto-bike that looks like a cross between a Ducati and a Schwinn. The new ‘Derringer Cycle’ can be pedaled as a traditional bicycle, propelled via engine power, or pedaled with the assistance of engine power. The bikes are capable of fuel economy ratings that exceed 150 mpg.
NET: http://www.derringercycles.com/bikes.htm
– Neatorama.com

Dick & Rick Hoyt are a father-son team from Massachusetts who’ve run 60 marathons (25 of them Boston Marathons), 6 Ironman Triathlons, and other races for a total of nearly 1,000 events. That’s impressive but this makes it even more so … Rick has cerebral palsy so his dad pushes him in a wheelchair during road races and pulls him on a raft through water.
NET: http://www.teamhoyt.com
– Snopes.com

• Chinese Crested dogs can get acne.
• The estimated cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of 11 is $6,400.
• 500,000 tons of dog excrement are dumped annually on the streets of Paris, France.
• An average city dog lives approximately 3 years longer than an average country dog.
• The dumbest of all dog breeds is said to be the Afghan Hound.
– GreatFacts.com


1936 [73] David Suzuki, Vancouver BC, scientist/environmentalist/broadcaster (“The Nature of Things” on CBC-TV since 1979)/author of 43 books/founder & chair of the charitable David Suzuki Foundation/Order of Canada (1976)

1951 [58] Tommy Hilfiger, Elmira NY, fashion designer (‘Tommy Girl’) who’s name on anything jacks the price about 200%

1970 [39] Mike Vanderjagt, Oakville ON, pro football placekicker/punter (Toronto Argonauts since 2008, 1996-97, Indianapolis Colts 1998-2005)

1970 [39] Lara Flynn Boyle, Davenport IA, TV actress (“Las Vegas” 2005-07, “The Practice” 1997-2003)/movie actress (“Men in Black II”)

1974 [35] Alyson Hannigan, Washington DC, TV actress (‘Lily Aldrin’ on “How I Met Your Mother” since 2005, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-2003)/movie actress (“American Pie” series)

1976 [33] Peyton Manning, New Orleans LA, NFL QB (2007 Super Bowl MVP-Indianapolis Colts)

1980 [29] Benj Gershman, Rockville MD, alt-rock bassist (OAR-“Shattered [Turn the Car Around]”)

1982 [27] Dustin McGowan, Savannah GA, MLB pitcher (Toronto Blue Jays)

1984 [25] Chris Bosh, Dallas TX, NBA player (Toronto Raptors)/4-time NBA All-Star

• “Chocolate Covered Raisins Day” … but not the kind you find in your kid’s bunny cage.

• “Inspect Your Cat’s Tongue Day”. You know you’ve always wanted to see what makes your cat’s tongue feel like sandpaper … today’s the day to find out!

• “National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest”, the 35th annual in Montpelier VT. Regional winners compete for a $2,500 grand prize for the stinkiest shoes. The contest was founded in 1975 as a sporting goods store promotion.
NET: http://www.odor-eaters.com/rsc.shtml

• “World Tuberculosis Day”, to build public awareness that tuberculosis remains an epidemic in much of the world, causing the deaths of about 1.6 million people each year, mostly in the Third World.

1911 [98] 1st ‘Venetian blind’, patented by Warburton Davis (next day, the 1st ‘Peeping Tom’)

1930 [79] The recently discovered 9th planet is given the name ‘Pluto’ (in 2006, it is demoted from full planet status to the new designation ‘dwarf planet’)

1971 [38] The 1st ‘Pine Tree Air Freshener’ is introduced for automobiles (my Uncle Wally still has it dangling from his rearview mirror)

1975 [34] The ‘Beaver’ becomes an official Canadian symbol

1936 [73] ‘Longest NHL Game Ever Played’ as the Detroit @ Montréal Maroons Stanley Cup Playoff semi-final match finally ends when Red Wings’ Mud Bruneteau scores the game’s only goal in the 6th overtime period after 176 minutes, 30 seconds of play (by then it’s ‘Hockey Morning in Canada’)

[Wed] Pecan Day
[Wed] Waffle Day
[Wed] Sing Out Day
[Wed] American Diabetes Alert Day
[Thurs] Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
[Thurs] Legal Assistants Day
[Fri] National Joe Day
[Fri] Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day
This Week Is … Bubble Blowers Week
This Month Is … Cheerleading Safety Month


• “DUI Friday’s”
• “At The Sign Of the Bloated Haggis”
• “Karaokefenokee”
• “Fisticuffs”
• “The Double Wide”
• “Secondhand Smoke”
• “The Rusty Tankard”
• “Get the Hell Inn”
• “Skank’s”
• “Angry Micks”
– Thanks to Stuart Wade

Match the stars with their Twitter.com quotes …
• “My 6 word story:’This heart didn’t come with instructions’.”
a. Nick Jonas
b. Ryan Adams
c. John Mayer [CORRECT]
• “Having tantric sex!!! I feel so much better!!! Thank you.”
a. Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs [CORRECT]
b. Jay Z
c. Nick Cannon
• “I’ve just been shown photographic evidence of myself podium dancing last night. God I’m a dick.”
a. Leona Lewis
b. Lily Allen [CORRECT]
c. Kate Winslet
– “Radar Online”

Is 41-year-old Julia Roberts still an A-lister that can single-handedly attract you to see a movie? (The mediocre debut of “Duplicity” has some second-guessing her star power.)

When forced to choose between two evils … I always try the new one.

Today’s Question: An estimated 3,000 accidents a year are caused by THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Garage door openers.


The higher the ape climbs, the more he shows his bald butt.

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