Tuesday, March 2, 2010        Edition: #4209
Sheet For Brains!

NY Yankee star Alex Rodriguez (‘A-Rod’) has reportedly dumped his latest girlfriend, Miami FL blonde Elaine Spottswood, telling friends she was getting ‘too clingy’ (hmm, same reason he ditched actress Kate Hudson) . . . This week in Britain, “Twilight Saga” actor Robert Pattinson is shooting an orgy scene for the new period film “Bel Ami” (based on the classic Guy de Maupassant novel) in which he must frolic with 40 naked beauties in a chandelier-laden dining room (we’re assured it will be ‘tastefully done’) . . . Movie blockbuster “Avatar” has landed another 6 trophies, dominating the Visual Effects Society’s 8th annual “VES Awards” (James Cameron will soon need an extra wing on his mansion just to house hardware) . . . 54-year-old actress-turned-TV personality Whoopi Goldberg is the new face of ‘personal pad’ maker Poise’s “1-in-3 Like Me” ad campaign, which aims to raise awareness of bladder problems in women (she got the gig because she’s p–ed off a lot of people in her time) . . . 59-year-old actress Kirstie Alley, who launched her ‘Organic Liaison’ weight-loss system earlier this year, now claims it’s helped her lose 20 lbs (she lost a toe in a lawnmower accident) . . . And 31-year-old actress Katie Holmes (Mrs Tom Cruise) is rumored to have undergone Scientology ‘auditing’ in preparation to have another baby, reportedly exactly what happened before she got pregnant with daughter Suri 3-plus years ago (there’s more than one way to get screwed).


• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The top 10 female semi-finalists perform.
• “Early Show” (CBS) – Blake Shelton (“Hillbilly Bone” EP, out today) & Reba McEntire reveal nominees for the 45th “Academy of Country Music Awards”, to be held in Las Vegas April 18th.
• “Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo” (also known as “RodeoHouston”) – The 20-day 2010 version gets underway. Yep, it’s a rodeo but also a major platform for music acts, which this year include Brad Paisley, Brooks & Dunn, the Jonas Bros, and Tim McGraw.
• “If I Can Dream” (Hulu) – Simon Fuller’s new talent show premieres online as Hulu’s first original series. Fans can interact with the aspiring actors, singers, dancers, models and comedians through text, MySpace, Twitter, and Facebook. The future of TV?
NET: http://ificandream.com
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Blues guitarist Jonny Lang.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Phoenix (“Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Ludacris (“Battle Of the Sexes”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Lifehouse (“Smoke & Mirrors”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Former Poison frontman Bret Michaels (“Celebrity Apprentice”).
• “Major League Baseball 2K10” – The newest version of the videogame is released for multiple gaming platforms. It includes tracks from Daughtry, Pearl Jam, Phoenix, and many more.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Wannabe Republican presidential candidate Sarah Palin; Adam Lambert (“For Your Entertainment”).

• AC/DC – A quadriplegic fan has suffered serious facial injuries after a friend accidentally hit the joystick of his motorized wheelchair and catapulted him into the mosh pit during a concert at the Queensland Sport & Athletic Centre in Australia.
• Black Eyed Peas They’ve become the first group in 19 years to send 3 singles from the same album to the #1 spot on “Billboard’s” ‘Hot 100′. Last group to do it? Wilson Phillips in 1990-91.
• Black Sabbath – A NYC federal judge has ruled that Ozzy Osbourne can proceed with his lawsuit against Tony Iommi over the ‘Black Sabbath’ name. Ozzy claims Iommi illegally took sole ownership of the name in a filing with the US Patent & Trademark Office. Oz wants 50%.
• Brad Paisley – He’s already excited about his next tour which he says he’s calling the “H20 Water” tour. Among other attractions, he says it will feature a dunking booth.
• Carly Simon – She’s refuting recent speculation that her former record label boss David Geffen is the guy who inspired her hit “You’re So Vain”. She says that assumption is a ‘funny mistake’ since she’d never met him when she wrote the song in 1971. Truth is, it’s likely someone we’ve never heard of.
• Ke$ha – She & John Mayer have sparked rumors they’re set to become Hollywood’s latest celebrity couple after exchanging flirty online messages.
• Lil Wayne – Today he’s finally scheduled to be sentenced on a charge of attempted criminal possession of a weapon. He’s expected to receive a 1-year jail sentence which he’ll serve in NYC’s Rikers Island. The court date was postponed due to his need for dental surgery. Quote from his 2008 hit “A Milli”: “I’d rather be pushin’ flowers than to be in the pen sharin’ showers.”
• Pussycat Dolls – And then there were 3. Amid months of speculation about feuding with frontwoman Nicole Scherzinger, both Ashley Roberts & Kimberly Wyatt have quit to ‘pursue other interests’. The group announced they were taking a break from performing last year.
• Santana – Carlos Santana is planning an album of covers that will include The Beatles’ “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”; CCR’s “Fortunate Son”; Cream’s “Sunshine of Your Love”; and Deep Purple’s “Smoke On the Water” among others. Each track will feature a different singer as collaborator. No title or release date have yet been set for the album.


• “Ponyo” ( Animated Family Adventure ): Disney animated adventure centered around a 5-year-old boy and his relationship with a goldfish princess who longs to become human. The Japanese film’s English voice cast includes Cate Blanchett, Matt Damon, and Liam Neeson. Also comes in a ‘Two-Disc Edition’.
• “2012” ( Action Thriller ): John Cusack plays an academic researcher who leads a group of survivors in a fight to counteract the apocalyptic events that were predicted by the Mayan calendar. Co-stars Amanda Peet, Danny Glover, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson, and about a thousand others. Based on (or maybe the cause of?) a popular misconception that the Mayan ‘Long Count’ calendar ‘ends’ in 2012, thereby predicting a worldwide apocalypse.
• “Where the Wild Things Are” ( Family Fantasy ): An adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s classic kids’ story about a disobedient boy sent to bed without his supper who creates his own world, a forest inhabited by ferocious creatures that crown him their ruler. Stars Max Records (selected after thousands of auditions), Mark Ruffalo, and the voices of James Gandolfini, Catherine O’Hara, and Forest Whitaker.
• Also released today: “Alice in Wonderland” (1933); “Clash Of the Titans” (1981); “Curious George: Follow That Monkey” (Animation); “Matlock: The 4th Season (Vintage TV); “Strawberry Shortcake: The Berryfest Princess Movie” (Animation); “Thomas & Friends: Thomas & the Runaway Kite” (Family); and “VeggieTales: Pistachio – The Little Boy That Woodn’t” (Family).


For a new study seeking to find people who’ve been unfortunately named by parents so that their name itself becomes a joke, researchers trawled through public records looking for oddities. Some of the worst: Barb Dwyer, Barry Cade, Bill Board, Carrie Oakey, Jo King, Justin Case, Paige Turner, Rose Bush, Stan Still, Terry Bull, and Tim Burr. The researchers suggest parents think carefully when choosing names for their children. A name that may be quirky and fun for a toddler might be regretted for a lifetime. (This week is  “Celebrate Your Name Week”. The above folks won’t be participating.)
– TheBabyWebsite.com


• Justin Bieber: “Been running around Paris today. Got to go to the Louvre Museum and see the Mona Lisa. Pretty cool. That place is a great date spot.”
• Kelly Clarkson: “Who’s ready for ‘Mustache Thursday’?? … this kid!!”
• Lady Antebellum: “Planning to do an instructional guitar video for ‘American Honey’ soon if you guys are interested! Lemme know!”
• Paula Abdul: “A true friend is just like a piece of puzzle. Without that particular piece, your life wouldn’t be complete.”
• Soulja Boy: “I need a hip-hop legend to come show me the way.”
• Taylor Swift: “Management meeting. We got a giant new conference room table. My mom and my manager are talking on walkie-talkies from opposite ends of it.”
• Yoko Ono: “Sometimes you find yourself in this room. Suddenly or gradually, you know you are being pushed into a room without a door.”
(Ha! And people say Twitter’s a waste of time.)
– Excerpted from Billboard.com

What if you could look more fashionable yet cut your spending in half? Style expert Ellen Warren says it’s easier than you think. All you do is stop worrying about what you’re wearing from the waist down. If you’re outfitting yourself for dining out, don’t worry about choosing the cutest designer shoes, the latest $300-jeans, or the perfect high-end trousers or skirt. Nobody sees any of that when you’re sitting at a table. Concentrate your fashion firepower on what goes on from the waist up; that’s the territory where you’ll make the big statement. Warren calls it ‘Tabletop Dressing’. (Hell, why even bother with pants?)
– “Chicago Tribune”


UK oddsmaker Paddy Power will take bets on some pretty obscure occurrences. A few actual odds categories offered in regard to this year’s “Academy Awards” …
• Color of Dress ‘Best Actress’ Is Wearing: ‘Black’ is the favorite but ‘peach’ at 8-1 is a good bet as both Sandra Bullock & Meryl Streep have been seen in the color during awards season.
• Any Major Acting Acceptance Speech to Beat the Record for Longest Ever: Must be over 5 minutes, 30 seconds. Odds are 12/1 but it likely won’t happen … the band will play them off.
• Best Male Actor to Cry During His Acceptance Speech: 3/1. None act well enough for this.
• Any Oscar to Be Dropped During the Presentation: You win 8/1 if someone fumbles.
• Any Actor to Trip & Fall on Stage: 10/1 seems good odds; some ham may do a pratfall for laughs.
• Nominated Actress to Be Photographed With a ‘Nipple Slip’: Seems a safe bet at 14/1.
• Any Winning Actor/Actress to Say ‘Tiger Woods’ in Their Speech: 33/1. Please, no!
• Best Actress to Walk on Stage with Toilet Paper Stuck to Her Shoe: 50/1. Please, yes!
• Totally Naked Streaker on Stage During the Ceremony: 100/1. It actually happened in 1974.
NET: http://www.paddypower.com/bet/hollywood/oscars


• Johnny Cash’s “Guess Things Happen That Way” has become the 10-billionth track sold at the ITunes online store. Louie Sulcer of Woodstock GA bought it, thereby winning a $10,000 iTunes gift card.
• The average lifespan of a webpage these days is estimated at 44-to-77 days.
• A ‘pico-newton’ is a measurement equivalent to a millionth of the force a grain of salt exerts when resting on a tabletop.
– Condensed from BBC News


1942 [68] Lou Reed, Freeport NY, classic rock singer (“Walk On the Wild Side”)

1962 [48] Jon Bon Jovi, Perth Amboy NJ, pop singer (w/Jennifer Nettles-“Who Says You Can’t Go Home”, Bon Jovi-“Always”)

1968 [42] Daniel Craig, Chester UK, movie actor (“Quantum Of Solace”, “Casino Royale”)

1977 [33] Chris Martin, Exeter UK, pop singer (Coldplay-“Viva La Vida”, “Clocks”)/married to actress Gwyneth Paltrow since 2003

1982 [28] Ben Roethlisberger, Lima OH, NFL QB (2 Super Bowls-Pittsburgh Steelers [2006, 2009])

1985 [25] Reggie Bush, San Diego CA, NFL RB (Super Bowl-New Orleans Saints [2010])/boyfriend of reality TV star Kim Kardashian


• “Namesake Day”, a highlight of “Celebrate Your Name Week”, a day to research and reflect on whomever you may be named after.

• “Old Stuff Day”, either a celebration of antiques or perhaps … dating a cougar?

• “Talk With Your Teen About Sex Month” as declared by the group “Parenting Without Pressure”, who somehow have the notion you know more than your teen does.
NET: http://www.parentingwithoutpressure.com/holidays/ntwytasm.htm

• “Working Dog Week”, to honor dogs working for humanity. Ask listeners about unusual jobs for dogs they’ve come across.


1977 [33] Jay Leno makes his debut appearance on the “Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson”, never guessing that he’ll be taking over as host in 15 years


1984 [26] Rob Reiner’s rock group mockumentary satire, “This Is Spinal Tap”, opens in movie theaters


1923 [87] 1st issue of “TIME” magazine


1991 [09] New record for ‘Lowest Flaming Limbo Bar Height’ is set at a minuscule 6 inches


[Wed] I Want You to Be Happy Day
[Wed] US National Anthem Day
[Thurs] International Scrapbooking Day
[Thurs] March Forth & Do Something Day
[Fri] “Alice in Wonderland”; “Brooklyn’s Finest” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Cheerleading Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month


• ‘New Flat Panel Television Pitch’
• ‘Turn Signal Vermilion’
• ‘Grocery Cart Emerald’
• ‘Credit Card Magnetic Strip Coal’
• ‘Bank Account Balance Scarlet’
• ‘Paycheck Ash’
• ‘Cubicle Ecru’
• ‘Unraked Leaves Sienna’
• ‘Energy-Efficient Fluorescent Bulb Quartz’
• ‘Blue Screen of Death Cobalt’
– Thanks to Casey Johnston


If men and women had separate ‘warning labels’ on their foreheads, what would they say?


Sometimes rearranging the letters of a person’s name can provide insight. Check out these nominated actresses for Sunday’s “Academy Awards” for instance …
• Carey Mulligan (“An Education”) … ‘Camera Ugly Nil’ (or ‘Magic Neurally’).
• Gabourey Sidibe (“Precious”) … ‘Ya Buried Bogies’ (or ‘Gaudy Bib Soiree’).
• Helen Mirren (“The Last Station”) … ‘Her Inner Elm’ (or ‘He Men Err Nil’).
• Meryl Streep (“Julie & Julia”) … ‘Tempers Rely’ (or ‘Try Eel Sperm’).
• Sandra Bullock (“The Blind Side”) … ‘Nasal Club Dork’ (or ‘Banal Suck Lord’).
Make your own anagrams using the ‘Internet Anagram Server’ …
NET: http://wordsmith.org/anagram


Blood is not only much thicker than water, it’s much more difficult to get out of the carpet.


Today’s Question: People with THIS physical characteristic are less likely to be married.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Short people, according to Yale University research. (CNN)

The reason that history repeats itself is because nobody listens the first time.

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