Tuesday, March 23, 2010        Edition: #4224
BS You Can Actually Look Forward To In the Morning!

Nadya Suleman, the infamous ‘Octomom’, has until the end of the business day today to either  make a balloon payment of $450,000 for her house or she’ll be on the receiving end of a foreclosure lawsuit (time to line up a reality TV show – quick!) . . . After selling her original story to “In Touch” magazine for $30,000, tattoo model Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee is reportedly now looking to make even more moolah by offering up intimate details and X-rated photos of her ‘relationship’ with Jesse James (Sandra Bullock’s nightmare has no end in sight) . . . Meantime, James has called the ‘vast majority’ of McGee’s allegations ‘untrue and unfounded’ in a statement to “People” magazine (means some must be true, no?) . . . Last year Paula Abdul rejected a $5-million offer to continue as an “American Idol” judge, now it seems she’s demanding too much to judge a planned ABC-TV reboot of the talent show “Star Search” and won’t get that gig either (in astronomy terms, this star is quickly turning into a white dwarf) . . . It’s just been revealed that “Borat” star Sacha Baron Cohen (38) has wed his longtime girlfriend, actress Isla Fisher (34), in a traditional Jewish ceremony in Paris a week ago, according to Australian magazine “Woman’s Day” (it’s not reported whether the groom wore an ill-fitting Eastern European suit – or lederhosen) . . . “Glee” may be heading to Broadway as Music Theatre International (MTI), the company behind stage musicals like “Hairspray” and “Fiddler On the Roof”, is in discussions to adapt the FOX-TV musical series for the stage (start saving now, Gleeks – Broadway shows ain’t cheap!) . . . And it took 15 years but a court has finally ruled that Anna Nicole Smith’s estate won’t get any of her late billionaire husband’s oil fortune, a jury deciding that when J Howard Marshall wrote his will leaving most of his $1.6-billion estate to his son E Pierce Marshall and nothing to Smith, he was in his right mind (when he decided to marry her – not so much).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The top 11 contestants perform.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – The Bird & the Bee (“Interpreting the Masters, Volume 1”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Neon Trees (“Habits”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Ladyhawke (“Ladyhawke”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Besnard Lakes (“Besnard Lakes Are the Roaring Night”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Justin Bieber (“My World 2.0”, out today).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – David Cook (“David Cook”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Trey Songz (“Ready”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Rodrigo y Gabriela (“11:11”).


• Brad Paisley – His recently-wrapped 8-month “American Saturday Night” tour traveled 1,151,880 miles to play for 1,196,312 fans. During that time, his band used a total of 1,056 packages of guitar strings.
• Grass Roots – Creed Bratton, a founding member of the ‘60s band who’s now a regular on “The Office” (NBC) playing a creepy character with the same name, is set to release a new album called “Bounce Back”, featuring his backup band The 3DVB’s and his TV castmate Ed Helms (‘Andy Bernard’).
• Green Day – Frontman Billie Joe Armstrong confirms they began writing and recording new material for their next album during downtime on their European tour last Fall.
• Lady Gaga – Her lawyer claims songwriter/music producer Rob Fusari’s $30.5-million lawsuit is unwarranted because he was never legally her manager. Fusari alleges they co-wrote songs together and formed Team Love Child LLC to promote her career. He even claims he invented her name accidentally when his text message referring to the Queen song “Radio Ga Ga” was auto-corrected to “Lady Ga Ga” by his phone. One thing is clear – they used to be a couple.
• Michael Jackson – Biographer Ian Halperin, who published “Unmasked: The Final Years of Michael Jackson” last year, is finishing work on a documentary film entitled “Gone Too Soon” that’s culled from over 300 hours of footage shot inside Jackson’s camp. It’s slated to premiere at next month’s “MIPTV” conference in Cannes, France, then open for a theater run in Canada and France June 25th, the 1-year anniversary of Jackson’s death. No word yet on a US release.
• Mindy McCready – Today the country singer whose career has been marked by hits, drugs, arrests, jail, and a suicide attempt, releases the new album “I’m Still Here”.
• Slash – His re-imagined version of Guns N’ Roses’ “Paradise City” featuring Fergie and Cypress Hill has reportedly been cut from his upcoming solo album ‘for legal reasons’.
• Taylor Swift – The RIAA has certified her “Fearless” album as 6-times platinum for sales of 6 million units, the highest sales certification so far this year.

• “The Blind Side” ( Sports Drama ): A disadvantaged teenager (Quinton Aaron) is taken in by a couple (Oscar-winner Sandra Bullock & country singer Tim McGraw ) who see tremendous promise in the young man. Their attention and inspiration help him mature into a successful NFL prospect. Based on the true story of NFL player Michael Oher (Baltimore Ravens OT).
• “Brothers” ( Drama ): Tobey Maguire stars as a former POW returning home from Afghanistan to find that his wife (Natalie Portman) has been living under the assumption that she was a widow, and his ex-con brother (Jake Gyllenhaal) has become the man of the household.
• “Fantastic Mr Fox” ( Animated Family ): Director Wes Anderson’s first animated film uses classic handmade stop-motion technique to tell the story of the best-selling children’s book by Roald Dahl (“Charlie & The Chocolate Factory”). Voice cast includes Bill Murray, George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Owen Wilson, Willem Dafoe.
• “The Men Who Stare at Goats” ( Comedy ): Quirky comedy about a reporter in Iraq (Ewan McGregor) who thinks he might have landed the story of a lifetime when he meets a guy who claims to be a ‘psychic soldier’ with the US Army’s ‘First Earth Battalion’ (George Clooney), a unit that employs paranormal powers during missions. Co-stars Kevin Spacey, Jeff Bridges, and … ‘Goat’. Shot in New Mexico.
• Also released today: “After Dark Horrorfest 4”; “Bob the Builder: Heavy Duty Diggers” (Animation); “Mad Men: Season 3” (TV); “The Prisoner” (TV Miniseries); “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: The 6th Season” (TV); “7th Heaven: The 10th Season” (TV); and “The TAMI Show: Collector’s Edition” (Music Documentary).


Forget the collagen, cosmetic surgeons now say the perfect pout plump for a lip graft uses … muscle from your neck. A team at the Esthetic Surgery Center in Naples, Florida claim they have achieved good results in 25 patients so far. The surgery, which can be done at the same time as a facelift, helps defy signs of aging by making the lips appear fuller and less puckered.
The procedure uses segments of the sternocleidomastoid muscle running along the side of the neck, as well as the connective tissue that overlies it. It’s said to offer improved appearance for at least 2 years. (The bad news is, your head is left tilted to one side like a curious dog.)
– BBC News

A BS sampling of the past week’s music-related traffic on Twitter.com …
• John Mayer: “If I wanted to make a big impression my first day in prison, I’d walk up and punch the smallest, oldest dude in the face.” (He better hope he’s never jailed now.)
• Ludacris: “Just received word that because of the fans we have made history yet again. Thanks to Taio Cruz, I’m the only rapper to have 5 #1 ‘Billboard’ hits.” (Humble, ain’t he?)
• Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy): “I love peeing outdoors. It makes me feel more in tune w/ nature. Did it for an entire year.” (This totally qualifies as TMI.)
• Weird Al Yankovic: “Today I’m giving a speech for ‘Career Day’ in my kid’s 1st grade class. Too hard to explain what I do … think I’ll just say I’m an architect.” (Beats ‘lame singer’.)
– Excerpted from Billboard.com

London-based etiquette advisor Jo Bryant offers the following rules of etiquette regarding mobile phone usage …
• Switch off your phone or turn it to vibrate when going into meetings, theaters, etc.
• Be aware of surroundings and don’t use your phone in situations where conversation may disturb others.
• People in the flesh deserve more attention than a gadget, so turn off your phone in social situations. And don’t keep checking it mid-conversation.
• Don’t use text messages to communicate important info or anything that needs a lengthy explanation. Cancellations are better received as a phone call than a text.
• There’s no need to use confusing, abbreviated text lingo. Use as much conventional grammar, spelling, and punctuation as possible to make yourself clearly understood.
• Handwritten thank-you notes should never be replaced by a text.
• Never ever finish a relationship by text.
• Messages of condolence sent by text are the ultimate faux-pas … insensitive, lazy, and insulting.
– Debretts.com

• Florida Highway Patrol says a 2-vehicle crash on Cudjoe Key has been caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who asked her ex-husband to steer from the passenger seat while she …. shaved her bikini area. The woman, who was meeting her boyfriend in Key West, has been charged with reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries, driving with a revoked licence and without insurance. (It turned out to be more than a ‘close shave’.)
– Keysnews.com
• Scottish Opera is attempting to reach beyond its normal audience of middle-aged music buffs by launching a series of concerts aimed at …. 6-to-18 month-old infants. The experimental performances, to be staged at venues across the UK, will feature no lyrics, narrative, or plot. Instead, classically trained singers will create baby-friendly noises, such as boots splashing in puddles, buzzing bees, quacking ducks, and the fluttering of feathers. (It’s never over till the fat lady quacks.)
– “Times of London”
• Italian police in Calabria have arrested 33-year-old Pasquale Manfredi, said to call himself ‘Scarface’, one of the top figures in the local Mafia and one of the country’s most-wanted fugitives. He’s now facing charges of murder, mafia association, drug trafficking, and possessing illegal armaments. How’d they collar him? He was traced down via … his Facebook contacts. (You should never ‘friend list’ a snitch.)
– “La Repubblica”


A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 95% of us have had dandruff at one point or another.
• 80% of married people sleep on their partners’ side of the bed when they’re away.
• 71% of women believe they look ‘much prettier’ when they wear makeup.
• 25% of people who live with someone say they’re too tired to have sex on a regular basis.
• 20% of adults admit they are unable to send text messages.
• 13% of those surveyed by a dating website have broken off a relationship via Facebook.


According to a new Retrevo survey on social networking, 1-in-3 respondents say they would read and respond to a message on Facebook or Twitter during a meal. 1-in-14 they’d do so during sex … and that number jumps to 1-in-10 for those under age 25.
– CNET.com


1966 [44] Marin Hinkle, Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, TV actress (‘Judith Harper’ on “Two-and-a-Half Men” since 2003)

1968 [42] Damon Albarn, London UK, alt-rock singer/songwriter/producer (Gorillaz-“Feel Good Inc”; Blur-“Girls & Boys”)  BS FACTOID: The new album by cartoon band Gorillaz, “Plastic Beach”, features The Clash’s Paul Simonon on bass & Mick Jones on guitar.

1976 [34] Keri Russell, Fountain Valley CA, movie actress (“Extraordinary Measures”, “Mission: Impossible III”)/TV actress (“Felicity” 1998-2002)

1978 [32] Perez Hilton (Mario Lavandeira Jr), Miami FL, show biz & celebrity blogger (PerezHilton.com)/syndicated radio personality (“Radio Perez”)

• “Chip & Dip Day”. While North Americans might pick ‘Sour Cream & Onion’ or ‘Salt & Vinegar’ chips, the top flavors for ‘crisps’ in the UK include ‘Roast Beef & Mustard’ and ‘Smoked Ham & Pickle’. The Swiss like ‘Paprika’, while Thais choose ‘Prawn’, and in Egypt ‘Kebab’ is popular. The best dip? ‘Hot Bean with Jalapenos’ … or is it?

• “Puppy Day”, the idea being to save 10,000 homeless puppies in a single day by encouraging adoptions at dog pounds and rescue centers.
NET: http://nationalpuppyday.com

• “World Meteorological Day”, an annual UN observance to promote understanding of how weather, climate, and water affects us all. For one thing, it seems to be our favorite topic of conversation. What overused weather clichés should be dumped?
NET: http://www.wmo.ch/wmd/


1743 [267] King George II invents the ‘Standing Ovation’ as he rises to his feet in appreciation of the first London performance of Handel’s “Messiah” (maybe he was just suffering from a case of numb-bum?)

1990 [20] “Pretty Woman” starring Julia Roberts & Richard Gere opens in movie theaters

1998 [12] “Titanic” wins a record-tying 11 Oscars at the 70th annual “Academy Awards”


1985 [25] Billy Joel marries uptown model Christie Brinkley (marriage lasts 10 years)


1912 [98] 1st ‘Dixie Cup’ (next day the 1st dentist says, “Take this, rinse and spit …”)


[Wed] Kick Butts Day
[Wed] Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
[Thurs] Letting Go of Stuff Day
[Fri] “How to Train Your Dragon”; “Hot Tub Time Machine” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Legal Assistants Day
[Fri] Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
This Week Is … Cleaning Week
This Month Is … Deaf History Month


• ‘Hover-Over-Public-Toilet-Seat Squats’ … 3 sets of 10.
• ‘Wash-Hands-Vigorously Bicep Curls’ … 2 sets of 12.
• ‘Stay-Planted-Without-Sliding-Into-Neighbor-On-Subway-Seat Lunges’ … 3 sets of 10.
• ‘Fist-Bump-Instead-Of-Handshake Push-Ups’ … 2 sets of 12.
• ‘Reach-The-Most-Remote-Bottle-Of-Purell-On-Store-Shelf Calf Raises’ … 3 sets of 10.
• ‘Cough-Up-Food-With-Unidentified-Origins Crunches’ … 2 sets of 30.
• ‘Trust-Me-On-This-One Kegels’ … 4 sets of 15.
– Thanks to Alyson Sheppard


Don’t be so humble … you’re not that great.


3-D movies … a great new technology or just a passing fad?


Today’s Question: Studies show the average worker spends over 12 hours a week doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Trying to look busy.


You don’t need 95% of everything you own until you throw it away.

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