Tuesday, March 20, 2007        Edition: #3491
A Bull in Hand Is A Sheetload of Prep!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY is “Stephen Colbert Day” in Oshawa ON when more than 1,500 are expected to celebrate at the local General Motors Centre, thanks to mayor John Gray losing a hockey bet with “The Colbert Report” anchor (Comedy Network) and having to declare the holiday on his own birthday (the wager involved the OHL’s Oshawa Generals vs the Saginaw Spirit, which has a mascot named ‘Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle’) . . . TODAY the many wannabe dads involved in the paternity dispute over Anna Nicole Smith’s baby are due back in court to face DNA experts (it’s unclear whether DNA testing has already taken place; if not it will soon) . . . Website VoteForTheWorst.com, which encourages fans to support the lousiest singer on “American Idol”, has endorsed wispy-voiced smiley-boy Sanjaya Malakar, perhaps the only reason he’s still on the show (VFTW claims its past ‘victories’ have included John Stevens, Scott Savol, Kellie Pickler and last season’s winner, Taylor Hicks) . . . Heather Mills plans to donate her appearance fees for “Dancing with the Stars” to Viva!, an organization that campaigns on behalf of animals killed for food (given that she reportedly just agreed to a $56-million settlement in her divorce battle with Paul McCartney, we’re thinking that’s the least she could do!) . . . THIS FALL Harper-Collins is publishing a “Dancing with the Stars” tie-in book about the fitness regimes followed by the celeb contestants in order to get in shape for the competition (it’ll be out just about the time we’ve forgotten all about who these people are) . . . Netherlands network RTL is producing “Ex-Wives Club” for European TV, which will feature George Clooney’s ex-, Talia Balsam (1989-93), plus the former wives of 2 Euro-stars giving jilted women tips on recovering from a marriage break-up (you can bet this idea will be imported soon) . . . Movie actor Hugh Grant (“Music & Lyrics”) is currently writing a ‘dark and disturbing novel’ that he intends to submit for publication under an assumed name so it won’t be judged based on his celebrity (could it possibly be lamer than his recent string of movies?) . . . Actor John Travolta is auctioning off the Harley hog he drove down the red carpet at the “Wild Hogs” premiere to assist in the restoration of the Marion Theatre in Ocala FL . . . 36-year-old actress Uma Thurman & 50-year-old hotelier Andre Balazs, who were planning to wed in the Caribbean THIS SUMMER, have apparently ended their 3-year, on-again, off-again relationship (she’s currently filming “The Accidental Husband” in which she plays a talk-radio host) . . . And staffers at London’s posh Jumeirah Carlton Tower hotel are all atwitter about Michael Jackson’s recent stay, when he checked in incognito – as a woman – and dragged along a massive entourage including no less than 10 security guards (but what they really hate about him is – the tightwad doesn’t tip!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Daughtry – TONIGHT he guests on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Dierks Bentley – TODAY the “Every Mile A Memory” country star releases his 1st concert DVD, “Live & Loud at the Fillmore”, shot in hi-def in JUNE 2006 at Denver’s Fillmore Auditorium. The concert airs TONIGHT on CMT.
• Hinder – TONIGHT they perform “Better Than Me” on the ‘Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Joss Stone – TODAY her 3rd studio album is released, “Introducing Joss Stone”, which features collaborations with Common and Lauryn Hill. THIS MORNING she guests on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Mims – TONIGHT the chart-topping “This Is Why I’m Hot” rapper performs on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – They’ve topped Entertainment Media Research’s new ‘Popscores’ system, which rates both the familiarity & popularity of recording artists, for several months now. The least popular act, according to MARCH figures, is Diddy.
• Smashing Pumpkins – They’ve confirmed their first North American appearance of 2007 will be at Toronto’s 2nd annual “Virgin Festival”, set for SEPTEMBER 8-9 on Toronto Island.
• Willie Nelson – TODAY he & fellow Country Music Hall of Famers Merle Haggard & Ray Price release their first-ever album together, “Last of the Breed”, a 2-disc, 22-song collection of classics. A supporting concert tour is already underway (THURSDAY they play NYC’s Radio City Music Hall). Meantime, Ben & Jerry’s has just unveiled the new ice cream flavor ‘Willie Nelson’s Country Peach Cobbler’ (peach ice cream with cinnamon sugar shortbread pieces).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Blood Diamond” ( Drama ): Leonardo DiCaprio & Djimon Hounsou star in this story about the quest to recover a rare pink diamond set against the backdrop of the civil war that enveloped 1990s Sierra Leone. Co-stars Jennifer Connelly. Nominated for 5 Academy Awards including ‘Best Actor’ and ‘Best Supporting Actor’.
• “Eragon” ( Fantasy Adventure ): A farm boy’s discovery of a dragon’s egg leads him to morph into a medieval knight who battles an evil king. Stars young British newcomer Edward Speleers (who beat out 180,000 others for the role) and veteran actor Jeremy Irons. Based on the best-selling first novel of the ‘Inheritance Triology’ by young author Christopher Paolini.
• “The Nativity Story” (Biblical Drama): The story of Mary & Joseph, culminating in their departure from Nazareth and their 100-mile journey to Bethlehem to birth Jesus. Stars soon-to-be-17 Australian Keisha Castle-Hughes, who apparently felt the need to thoroughly research the role of ‘Mary’ by becoming pregnant during filming.
• “Rocky Balboa” ( Sports Drama ): 60-year-old Sylvester Stallone is back with a 6th and final instalment to his “Rocky” series, playing the boxer as a 50-something widower who’s retired from the ring and running a small restaurant in Philadelphia. But when an opportunity arises to face the world heavyweight champ, he feels the need to fight once more … unfortunately.
• Also on DVD TODAY: “The Bridge on the River Kwai” (Repackaged Original Version); “The Caine Mutiny” (Collector’s Edition); “Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner – Uncensored!”; “The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning” (a cheesy straight-to-video prequel); “The Guns of Navarone” (Collector’s Edition); and “Lawrence of Arabia” (Collector’s Edition).

IN THE PINK:
These days there’s a huge demand for what’s being called ‘pink tech’, electronic gizmos in various shades of pink targeted at women. Motorola’s pink RAZR phone that came out in 2005 is now its #3 seller behind black and silver; in 2006, Nintendo released its coral pink DS Lite videogame system; and now there are pink cameras, pink audio players, pink laptops, pink memory cards, even a metallic pink Taser C2 weapon, capable of pulsing 50,000 volts through an attacker’s body. One electronics designer says ‘pink is a statement’ that says women are into technology just as much as men. Not all pinks are created equal however. Observers say the younger female generation prefers ‘hot pink’ while 30-plus females are attracted to more muted, paler pinks.
– CTVglobemedia

MMM, BUG JUICE:
Chinese doctors have developed a cure for arthritis that many outside of China may be reluctant to try. It’s made with … ant extract. The docs say a mixture of squashed ants and water can reverse arthritis in no time. (Time for a studio experiment!)
– Xinhua News Agency

HOT AS ICE?
Scientists at the Sandia National Laboratories in Albuquerque NM have successfully managed to make ice that’s hotter than boiling water. The experiment was successfully carried out using the huge ‘Z Machine’, which can generate temperatures hotter than the Sun. Basically, the freezing was caused by rapid compression 70,000 times normal atmospheric pressure in a tiny fraction of a second. When the pressure was relieved, the ice melted. (And the practical use for this would be what … a Tequila Sunrise that takes your face off?)
– AHN

ATTACK FACTS:
Highlights of the latest ‘Internet Security Threat Report‘ compiled by computer security software-maker Symantec Corporation …
• The USA now generates more malicious computer activity than any other country. About a third of attacks now originate from machines in the US, 10% in China, and 7% in Germany.
• Fierce competition in the criminal underworld is driving down prices for stolen financial info. Verified credit card numbers can now be purchased for as little as $1; and complete identities (date of birth, bank account, credit card, government ID numbers) go for just $14.
• Of all e-mail traffic monitored, fully 59% of it was spam.
• It’s now estimated that there are over 6 million ‘bot-infected’ computers worldwide which have been compromised to be controlled remotely and pump out spam, usually without the legitimate owner ever knowing. That’s up a whopping 29% in 6 months.
• 26% of bot-infected computers are in China, most of any country.
• Microsoft’s Internet Explorer is the most-targeted Web browser, attracting 77% of all browser attacks. (One reason we’ve been recommending Mozilla’s free Firefox browser for years now.)
– AP

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Utah’s state Tax Commission has ordered a driver to change his 10-year-old license plate from ‘MERLOT’ after an anonymous tip pointed out that it violates the state’s ban on vanity plates linked with intoxicants, including anything alcoholic. The owner plans to appeal the ruling but may lose because the premise has already been set … the agency previously banned a plate reading ‘CHIANTI’. (Guess that means ‘RED’ and ‘WHITE’ are also out.)
• German researchers say graveyards are now facing overcrowding problems because dead bodies just aren’t decomposing properly. Scientists at Christian-Albrechts University say the natural decomposition process is being slowed by anti-aging creams and food preservatives, as if people have been pickled. (And what about Jagermeister?)
• A  British Airways passenger in First Class woke up to a shock when he found himself sitting across the aisle from … a corpse. The 54-year-old businessman says the body was strapped into the seat but because of turbulence it kept slipping down to the floor. It seems the cabin crew moved the body of an elderly woman from the economy section where she had died shortly after the flight from Delhi, India took-off for London. The passenger says the 9-hour ordeal was ‘horrific’. The airline has apologized but claims the crew chose the option it thought would cause the least disruption. (We’re expecting a stiff lawsuit real soon.)

DID YOU KNOW?
• People who have been cryogenically frozen are generally positioned head down. Why? In the event of a leak in the tank, their brain would remain submerged in liquid nitrogen.
• Left-handed people tend to scratch themselves with their right hand, while right-handed people scratch themselves with their left hand.

FOR THE RECORD:
A 1st-year Girl Scout Brownie in Tifton GA has sold an amazing 2,258 boxes of Girl Scout cookies by setting up a booth outside local restaurants after school and on weekends. In doing so, 7-year-old Kayla Guckert surpassed her sales target of 1,500 boxes. (In related news, our sales manager would like to speak with her.)

THE BULL SHEET 03.20.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [68] Brian Mulroney, Baie Comeau QC, much vilified Prime Minister of Canada 1984-93/father of “eTalk Daily” and ”Canadian Idol” host Ben Mulroney

1948 [59] Bobby Orr, Parry Sound ON, hockey player agent/NHL player 1966-79/Hall of Fame NHL defenceman (Boston Bruins)/greatest hockey player of all-time?

1950 [57] William Hurt, Washington DC, movie actor (“The Good Shepherd”, Oscar-“Kiss of the Spiderwoman”)

1957 [50] Spike (Shelton) Lee, Atlanta GA, movie director (“Inside Man”, “Malcolm X”)/movie producer (“When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts”)/movie actor (“Do the Right Thing”)

1958 [49] Holly Hunter, Conyers GA, movie actress (“Thirteen”, Oscar-“The Piano”)

1964 [43] Tracy Chapman, Cleveland OH, pop/folk singer (“Give Me One Reason”, “Fast Car”)

1976 [31] Chester Bennington, Phoenix AZ, rock singer (Linkin Park-“Breaking The Habit”, “Numb”)  FACTOID: “Minutes to Midnight”, Linkin Park’s 3rd studio album, is scheduled for release MAY 15th.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Extraterrestrial Abductions Day”, honoring all wackos who claim they’ve been kidnapped by aliens.

• “Single Parents Day”, honoring those who have the fortitude to be sole provider for their families.

• “World Figure Skating Championships” jump and spin in Tokyo, Japan through SUNDAY.
NET: http://www.worlds2007.jp/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1964 [43] TV game show “Jeopardy!” debuts, with Art Fleming as host (Alex Trebek now hosts the revival that began in 1984)

1969 [38] ‘Big Bird’ debuts on “Sesame Street”, an 8′-2″ oversized Muppet for which Caroll Spinney provides the voice & puppetry, holding the 4-and-a-half lb head up with his right arm

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1969 [38] John Lennon weds Yoko Ono in the UK territory of Gibraltar (the beginning of the end for The Beatles)

1980 [27] 1st ‘sighting’ of Elvis Presley reported, despite his widely rumored 1977 death (in Butte, Montana of all places)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1897 [110] Yale beats Penn 32-10 in 1st known ‘Intercollegiate Basketball Game’ (the original ‘March Madness’)

1954 [53] 1st ‘Newspaper Vending Machine’ (Columbia PA)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1999 [08] Hot air balloon piloted by Brian Jones of England & Bertrand Piccard of Switzerland completes ‘Nonstop Around-the-World Flight’

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Spring arrives (8:07 pm ET)
[Wed] Snowman Burning Day
[Wed] International Astrology Day
[Wed] Proposal Day
[Thurs] International Goof-Off Day
[Sun] 1st YouTube Video Awards
[Sun] Elton John’s 60th Birthday Celebration (NYC)
This Week Is … Bubble Blowers Week
This Month Is … Music In Our Schools Month

BULL’S BITS

ACTUAL SUPERMARKET TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Moths Attack Pope’s Hat!”
• “Bin Laden’s Wild Nights With a Goat!”
• “Ay Caramba, Scientists Grow Giant Chihuahua!”
• “Light Pollution Misleads the Recently Deceased!”
• “Security Company Unveils Armored Shower Curtain!”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Is the biggest problem with Canada’s annual seal hunt just a lousy job of PR by those involved?
What’s the worst uniform you’ve ever had to wear?

BS UP-PICK TRIVIA:
What’s the origin of the phrase “I’ve got dibs”?
a. A Scottish word for vouchers that allowed the holder to go to the front of a queue or line-up.
b. A 17th-century game using sheep’s knuckles. [CORRECT. It was known as ‘dibstones’.]
c. A medieval nickname for sexually-transmitted diseases.
– mentalfloss.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Celebrities are people who work hard all their lives to become famous, then wear sunglasses to avoid being recognized.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average person gets a new one of THESE every 7 years.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Suitcase.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The person who said ‘good things come to those who wait’ is still waiting.


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