March 1 2019

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Friday, March 1, 2019 – Edition: #6404

Deja Moo!

★ TMZ is reporting that Luke Perry suffered a massive stroke Wednesday, and is currently hospitalized.
Paramedics responded to Perry’s home in Sherman Oaks around 9:40 AM. Reports are that the call came into the fire department for someone suffering a stroke, and Perry was transported to a nearby hospital. No word on his current condition. He currently stars as Archie’s dad, Fred Andrews, on “Riverdale” and has been shooting episodes recently in L.A. on the Warner Bros. lot.
★ Rami Malek is reportedly in final negotiations to join Daniel Craig in “Bond 25”. It’s been previously reported that Malek was being eyed for the role, but shooting conflicted with his TV series “Mr. Robot”.  But now, his people have successfully negotiated schedules to accommodate both projects, although there is no official deal yet. Although the name of the character Rami will play in the film is not yet known, the villain has been rumored to be a blind man.
★ “A Star is Born” is returning to theaters for one week starting today. The new “encore” version that Warner Bros. is releasing will feature 12 additional minutes of footage, including extended takes of songs and one entirely new song not previously heard in the film or on the soundtrack album. The encore version of “A Star is Born” begins with the full performance of ‘Black Eyes’, the rock/country jam performed by Bradley Cooper.  You can also look forward to seeing Lady Gaga sing an acapella version of ‘Shallow’.
★ Netflix UK is working to fix a huge issue in its version of “The Notebook”, which uses an alternate ending in which the movie’s main characters don’t die together.  Fans were completely caught off guard when they noticed that the original ending — showing Allie and Noah get into their hospital bed together, hold hands and die – has been completely cut out. Netflix says they did NOT edit the film, but rather “An alternate version exists and was supplied to us — we are getting to the bottom of it asap.”
(And for those of us who haven’t seen “The Notebook”, thanks for the spoiler!)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Ben Affleck, Dane Cook, Bring Me The Horizon (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ryan Seacrest, Jack Whitehall, Shin Lim
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Norah O’Donnell, John Dickerson, Gayle King, Bianna Golodryga, Spike Lee (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Mulaney, Stacey Abrams (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Nina Dobrev, Terry Crews, Jack & Jack (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, Lionel Richie
• “The Talk” (CBS): Chloe Grace Moretz, Ethan Peck
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Katy Perry, Lionel Richie, Luke Bryan, Kevin Nealon
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): The winner of “The Masked Singer”, John Mayer

• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host John Mulaney with musical guest Thomas Rhett.

• “American Idol” (ABC): Season 2 kicks off with auditions in Louisville, Ky.; Coeur d’Alene, Idaho; Los Angeles; New York; and Denver.
• “Good Girls” (NBC): Season 2 premiere: Beth must live with the fallout after her plan to get Rio arrested fails.
• “The BET Social Awards 2019” (BET): The second annual live event will celebrate social media’s brightest stars.
• “Leaving Neverland” (HBO): Controversial two-part, four-hour documentary (concludes on Monday) examining the claims by two men that they were raped as boys by Michael Jackson.

• Ariana Grande – is among the performers who will take the stage at the iHeartRadio Music Awards.  Also on the bill: Halsey, Alicia Keys, Garth Brooks, John Legend and Kacey Musgraves. The 2019 iHeartRadio Music Awards will air on Fox from the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles on March 14.
• Taylor Swift — will be awarded “Tour of the Year” honors at the iHeartRadio awards March 14. Her “Reputation” stadium concert series grossed $266 million, selling over two million tickets in the US, making it the highest-selling US tour in history.
• Michael Jackson – Neverland, his infamous former residence in the mountains of Santa Barbara, is back on the market after a price slash. In light of recent controversies, the King of Pop’s former ranch is currently listed for $31 million — a staggering $36 million price reduction.
• Pink Floyd — will re-release “A Saucerful of Secrets” on vinyl – complete with a reproduction of its original sleeve – to celebrate Record Store Day 2019. A limited-edition version of the LP will be available, printed on ”premium 12” 180-gram black vinyl.
• Mötley Crüe — have been named Grand Marshals for the NASCAR Cup Series Auto Club 400 race in Fontana, CA on March 17. Joining the band will be a pair of actors from the band’s upcoming Netflix biopic, “The Dirt” – Douglas Booth (who plays Sixx) and Machine Gun Kelly (who plays Lee).
• Van Halen – Eddie Van Halen has been named the greatest guitarist of all time by Guitar World magazine.  Rounding out the top 5 in order are: Brian May, Alex Lifeson, Jimi Hendrix and Joe Satriani.
• Sammy Hagar – says he would put his current band, The Circle, on hold to allow former Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony to rejoin his former mates in a reunion of the original Van Halen.  Hagar said earlier that Van Halen had contacted Anthony about a possible return after 13 years.
• Miranda Lambert — Despite announcing her marriage to Brendan McLoughlin, she isn’t too eager to discuss newlywed life any further. She snapped at New York reporters when asked about her new love this week, asking, “If I say something, will you leave, please?”
• Brandi Carlile – In light of her three-award sweep at the Grammys, she says she wants to work with more women, including another collaboration with Maren Morris.  Others on her list? Courtney Marie Andrews, Maggie Rogers, Jade Bird, Amanda Shires, Sheryl Crow, Andra Day, Alicia Keys and Janelle Monae.  (Pretty good start…)

• “Greta” (R-Rated, Drama):  Frances, a naïve young woman in New York City, meets Greta, an eccentric French piano teacher.  The two become fast friends – but Greta’s maternal charms begin to dissolve and grow increasingly disturbing as Frances discovers that nothing in Greta’s life is what it seems. (Isabelle Huppert, Chloë Grace Moretz)
• “A Madea Family Funeral” (PG-13, Comedy):  A joyous family reunion becomes a nightmare as Madea and the crew travel to backwoods Georgia, where they find themselves unexpectedly planning a funeral that might unveil unsavory family secrets. (Tyler Perry, Cassi Davis)
• “Climax” (R-Rated, Drama/Horror):  French dancers gather in a remote, empty school building to rehearse on a wintry night. The all-night celebration morphs into a hallucinatory nightmare when they learn their sangria is laced with LSD. (Sofia Boutella, Romain Guillermic)
• “Apollo 11” (G-Rated, Documentary):  A look at the Apollo 11 mission to land on the moon led by commander Neil Armstrong and pilot Buzz Aldrin. (Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong)
• “Transit” (PG, Drama): When a man flees France after the Nazi invasion, he assumes the identity of a dead author. Stuck in Marseilles, he meets a young woman desperate to find her missing husband – the very man he’s impersonating. (Franz Rogowski, Paula Beer)

Volunteer workers for Big Brothers Big Sisters in Springfield, Missouri got a surprise bundle while sorting through donations when they discovered a cellophane-wrapped brick of marijuana among the items.  After a staff member called police, the bundle of cannabis was retrieved by an officer, who estimated the street value of the brick to be around $3,000.
(My siblings never gave a “donation” like that to THEIR big brother!)
➢ An Australian snake is a long way from home after hitching a ride in a woman’s bag on her flight home to Scotland.  Moira Boxall discovered the spotted python coiled inside one of her shoes as she was unpacking her suitcase at home — 9,300 miles away from Queensland.  After confirming that it was real and she hadn’t been the victim of a prank, Boxall called the SPCA, who identified it as non-venomous took it to quarantine.  It may soon be housed in a Glasgow Zoo. It will be up to Boxall what to do with the extra layer of skin, because it was also discovered that the snake had shed its skin while in transit.
(I’ve heard of snakeskin BOOTS…)
➢ What happens when a Canadian grocery store is left unlocked all day long?  Not much. When customers at a “Food Basics” store in Kingston, ON discovered the doors unlocked and no staff present on the Family Day holiday, many of them decided to continue with their shopping trip anyway…including paying for their groceries.  Reports are that no employees were scheduled to work that day and the doors of the grocery store were accidentally left unlocked. Despite the store’s lack of employees, some customers proceeded to do their shopping, many of them apparently unaware that the store was even closed. Police were finally called…at 4:30pm.  Nothing was reported stolen.
(And like any other day, you still had to bag your own stuff!)

Here is a rundown on the odds of these odd things happening to you . . .
➠ Being audited: one in 200 (in the U.S.)
➠ Having twins: one in 333 (each pregnancy)
➠ Catching a foul ball:  one in 835
➠ Being born on leap day (Feb. 29):  one in 1,461
➠ Getting struck by lightning:  one in 3,000 (lifetime)
➠ Living to 100:  one in 5,800
➠ Being killed in a plane crash:  one in 11 million
➠ Winning the lottery:  one in 88 quadrillion (2018 US Mega Millions $1 billion jackpot)

Mars One, the Dutch company that planned to send humans on a one-way trip to Mars and start the first human colony on the Red Planet, has declared bankruptcy.  Mars One Ventures began accepting applications in 2013 for a mission to establish a permanent settlement on Mars. It planned to launch 24 people every two years starting in 2024. More than 200,000 people from 100 countries applied, and the company announced a shortlist of 100 people in 2015.
(The people weren’t going to come back, and now, neither is their money!)


1927 [92] Harry Belafonte, New York City NY, pop singer (‘The Banana Boat Song [Day-O])’, ‘Shake, Shake Senora’)

1944 [75] Roger Daltrey, London UK, classic rock singer (The Who-‘Who Are You’, ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’)

1954 [65] Ron Howard, Duncan OK, movie director (“Apollo 13”, “A Beautiful Mind”)/movie & TV producer (“Arrested Development”)/former TV actor (“Happy Days” 1974-84)

1967 [52] George Eads, Fort Worth TX, TV actor (‘Jack Dalton’ on “MacGyver” since 2016, “CSI” 2000-15)

1969 [50] Javier Bardem, Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, Spain, movie actor (“Skyfall”, “No Country for Old Men”)/married to Penélope Cruz since 2010

1973 [46] Ryan Peake, Brooks AB, rock guitarist (Nickelback-‘Photograph’, ‘How You Remind Me’)

1983 [36] Lupita Nyong’o, Mexico City, Mexico, movie actress (“Black Panther”, “12 Years a Slave”)

1987 [32] Kesha (Sebert), Los Angeles, CA, pop singer (‘We R Who We R’, ‘Tik Tok’)

1994 [25] Justin Bieber, London, ON, raised in Stratford ON, pop music singer (‘Love Yourself’, ‘Baby’)

Singer Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi-‘Livin’ on a Prayer’) is 57; Actor Daniel Craig (“Skyfall”) is 51; Singer Chris Martin (Coldplay-‘Clocks’) is 42; Actress Rebel Wilson (“Pitch Perfect”) is 39; Actress Bryce Dallas Howard (“Jurassic World”) is 38; NFL Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, is 37

Movie producer George Miller (“Mad Max: Fury Road”) is 74; Actress Julie Bowen (“Modern Family”) is 49; Actress Jessica Biel (“Total Recall’) is 37; Singer Camila Cabello (‘Havana’) is 22

• “Dress in Blue Day”, an initiative to raise awareness about colon cancer, to celebrate survivors, and to help patients in need during “Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month”.

• “Horse Protection Day”, to raise awareness about the abuse, neglect, homelessness, and slaughter of horses and to promote adoption events to help unwanted horses find a home

• “Peanut Butter Lovers’ Day”, ah, but is one day enough? BS FACTOID: The slang term for peanut butter during World War II was “monkey butter”. (***a good day to have phone contestants try a tongue twister with a mouthful of smooth or crunchy***)

• “Pig Day”, honoring the “most intelligent and useful of domesticated animals”. Studies show pigs are much smarter than horses (… but harder to ride).

• “Plan a Solo Vacation Day”, to inspire singles to spice up their lives by checking out solo travel options. What’s the biggest thing that would dissuade you from traveling on your own?

• “Chalandamarz” in Switzerland, when they drive away Winter by ringing bells and cracking whips. (***Let’s try that and see if it works! [SFX]***).

• “Refired, Not Retired Day”, a day for those who’ve left the workforce to reinvigorate themselves with new interests and goals.

• “Self-Injury Awareness Day”, a grassroots global event in which several organizations make special efforts to raise awareness about self-harm and self-injury. Some wear an orange awareness ribbon, write ‘Love’ on their arms, or draw a butterfly on their wrists in observance.

• “World Compliment Day”, billed as the most positive day of the year. There is an art to it, though. A true compliment must be genuine, or the receiver will see through it. Just as importantly, the receiver must accept the compliment with a heartfelt “Thank-you!”

• “Dr Seuss Day”, celebrating the 1904 birth of Theodor Seuss Geisel in Springfield MA, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of children’s books including “The Cat In the Hat,” “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!” and many other classics. He died in 1991. BS Factoid: “Seuss,” which was also his mother’s maiden name — was pronounced “Zoice” by the family, and by Theodor Geisel himself.
• “Old Stuff Day”, a celebration of antiques (either that or someone is finally appreciating my home decor!)
• “Banana Cream Pie Day”, the English version of banana cream pie is called ‘banoffee’ pie, being a portmanteau of ‘banana’ and ‘toffee’. The recipe for this dessert is much richer than its American counterpart, calling for lashings of condensed milk and toffee and often served with ice cream.

• “American National Anthem Day” in observance of the bill designating “The Star-Spangled Banner” as the U.S. national anthem being passed by Congress and signed into law by President Hoover on this date in 1931.
• “Cold Cuts Day”, chilled slices of meat from the deli. You might pop them into sandwiches, you might have them drizzled with oil and with a few slices of cheese – whatever way you like them, today is all about celebrating the tasty meats that are somehow even tastier when served up in slices.
• “Mulled Wine Day”, one of the most delicious ways of serving up your usual cheeky glass of red. Laden with spices and fruit, mulled wine brings out the natural sweetness of the alcoholic drink and gives it an extra sparkle of flavor. On a chilly night, curling up with a warm glass is the perfect tonic to winter blues.

2010 [09] After a failed primetime experiment, Jay Leno returns as host of NBC-TV’s “The Tonight Show” (bumping off Conan O’Brien, who later ends up at TBS)

1973 [46] Pink Floyd release “Dark Side Of The Moon”. It becomes far and away the longest-charting record on the Billboard albums chart, thanks in large part to a run from 1977-1988 when it never leaves. In total, it has spent more than 937 weeks in the top 200…. almost 18 years.

2012 [07] On Justin Bieber’s 18th birthday, he appears on “The Ellen Degeneres Show”, where his manager presents him with a Fisker Karma luxury electric car worth about $100,000

1969 [50] Britain’s Prince Charles is officially invested “Prince of Wales” (starting to seem like a lifetime appointment, isn’t it?)

2006 [13] English-language version of Wikipedia reaches its 1 millionth article (Now: 5.8 million)


✓ The cruise liner “Queen Elizabeth II” moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
✓ If a car is traveling at 55 mph (90 km/h), it will travel 56 ft (22 m) before the driver can shift his foot from the accelerator to the brake.
✓ It takes six months to build a Rolls Royce… and 13 hours to build a Toyota.
✓ It’s illegal to own a red car in Shanghai, China.
✓ The “black box” on an aircraft is orange.
✓ Before airplanes existed, jet lag was called boat lag.

• Of Ice and Men
• Gulliver’s Travel Restrictions
• The Not Going Outsiders
• Plow to Win Friends and Influence People
• A Blizzard Runs Through it
• The Winter Storm of our Discontent
• Cold Yeller
• That Was Then, This is Plow
• Zen and the Art of Snowmobile Maintenance
• The Blizzard of Oz
• Dude, Where’s My Car?

Best of BS . . .

• After you’ve wrecked your mom’s car.
• Right before he sees the credit card bill.
• After 5 drinks, and right before “Man”.
• When you are in front of the mirror.
• Just before hanging up the phone…at work.
• When she says that her dad sells bacon for a living.
• Certainly not when the jury says “Guilty”, if you’re the defendant.
• If you’re in a boy band, every song.
• When someone shows up with cake.
• Within five minutes of meeting someone on a first date, obviously. Why, yes, I am single at the moment, why do you ask?
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto-correct is like, “I’ve got nothing, man…”

What’s the strangest favor someone has ever asked you?

Question:  A new study shows that you will consume 15% more calories if you do THIS while you are eating.  What?
Answer:  Look at your smartphone

Be happy and a reason will come along.


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