Wednesday, March 29, 2006        Edition: #3249
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

TONIGHT Shakira & Wyclef Jean will perform their new single “Hips Don’t Lie” on “American Idol” (becoming less & less about competition and more about marketing) . . . TONIGHT “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria guests on the 100th episode of ABC-TV’s “George Lopez”, playing a ‘bride-zilla’ who seeks George’s help in planning the perfect wedding (wow, she must owe him some favor!) . . . Word has it Katie Holmes will be birthing her baby at Tom Cruise’s Beverly Hills mansion after Scientologists (disguised as humans) were spotted delivering 6-ft-high ‘Birthing Boards’, one of them reading: “Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable” (good luck girl, you’re gonna need it!) . . . Meantime, Tom Cruise is reportedly advising his pseudo-church to snap up Michael Jackson’s embattled Neverland Ranch, claiming it would make an ideal Scientology retreat (sort of like Gitmo) . . . Actor Vince Vaughn has reportedly proposed to Jennifer Aniston during a trip to Las Vegas by whipping out a $150,000 engagement ring . . . 32-year-old Brit model Kate Moss is reportedly mentoring 19-year-old actress Lindsay Lohan, helping her get her life back on track (by showing her what not to do?) . . . Meantime, drug-addled rocker Pete Doherty is reportedly set to go back into rehab after being given one last ultimatum by on-and-off girlfriend Kate Moss (and she really means it this time!) . . . Actress Scarlett Johansson has been named the ‘World’s Sexiest Woman’ in “FHM” magazine’s annual ranking, followed by Angelina Jolie (last year’s #1), Jessica Alba & Jessica Simpson . . . Actor Morgan Freeman has convinced palls Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck & Laurence Fishburne to donate custom-built motorcycles for a benefit auction to raise funds for a Martin Luther King Jr memorial in Washington DC (bidding closes FRIDAY at . . . And Pamela Anderson has written PM Stephen Harper suggesting they get together after she hosts the “Juno Awards” THIS WEEKEND to discuss the government’s support of the annual seal hunt (he turned down Paul McCartney and Brigitte Bardot, think he’ll talk to Pammy?).

• Barenaked Ladies – Their 4-day “Ships & Dip Cruise” early NEXT YEAR will tour through the Turks & Caicos in the Caribbean. There’ll be onboard performances by BNL, Guster and others to be announced. The cruise departs Ft Lauderdale FL on JANUARY 15, 2007.
• Beastie Boys – TONIGHT they do “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Keith Urban – There may be trouble brewing in his relationship with Nicole Kidman, one of her ‘friends’ blabbing that Nicole doesn’t want him around when he’s been drinking. Now there’s inspiration for another country hit!
• Sheryl Crow – TODAY the cancer-cleared singer guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• The Strokes – TONIGHT they perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Village People – Victor Willis, who played the ‘cop’ in the ‘70s disco group, has finally been arrested after disappearing LAST YEAR while drug & weapons charges were pending. He’s now facing up to 5 years in the slammer.
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs – TONIGHT they perform on “Late Show With David Letterman”. Their just-released album “Show Your Bones” comes almost 2 years after the band’s hit, “Fever To Tell”.

The first scientific study on the effects of combining alcohol with energy drinks such as Red Bull has found that it can, in fact, significantly reduce the perception of headache, weakness, dry mouth and other symptoms. But the study by a team of Brazilian researchers concludes that’s not a good thing, because it may give drinkers the illusion they’re not impaired. The booze-energy drink combo does nothing to improve the body’s motor co-ordination, so someone who’s physically drunk is still drunk. (But really, really, really wide awake.)
– ANI Health

A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 75% of men think taking a break from a relationship is unlikely to be beneficial, but 60% of women disagree.
• 60% of women now color their hair, according to L’Oréal.
• 51% of 18-to-25-year-old women say they’d rather be run over by a truck than be fat.
• 41% of us say we check our e-mail before brushing our teeth in the morning.
• 31% of 18-to 34-year-old men & 23% of women still live with their parents.

• ‘Monotasking’ – Performing one task at a time and only one, an idea that’s been so lost in the multi-tasking tech age that a word had to be invented to describe it.
• ‘Practice Development’ – The polite term for advertising & marketing by doctors and dentists, made necessary by higher costs and inspired by direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical ads.
• ‘Tanorexia’ – Cancer experts in the UK are alarmed by the number of ‘tanorexic’ teenagers who use sun beds to create permanent tans. It’s likely one reason melanoma is the fastest-growing type of cancer in Britain.

You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

Vienna-based Chocolatier Hochleitner is set to market sweet treats made from – camel’s milk chocolate. It’s a cooperative effort with the United Arab Emirates financed by the Abu Dhabi royal family. Powdered camel milk is sent from the UAE to Austria where the raw chocolate is produced, and then returned to a factory in the middle of the desert for processing. Camel’s milk is said to be a better alternative than cow’s milk because it’s lower in fat and sweeter. ‘Al Nassma’ chocolate products will be launched in Abu Dhabi THIS FALL, with hopes of export later on. (Out-of-work ‘Joe Camel’ may soon have a new product to endorse!)
– Ananova News

 “I guess if the spinach doesn’t help me conceive I’ll still end up with Popeye-sized muscles.”
– Desperate-to-be-pregnant Jennifer Lopez, whose doctor has recommended a spinach diet to boost her intake of folic acid and increase her chances of conception.

It’s that time of year, when Spring cleaning unearths all kinds of household items you no longer need or want. Here’s a checklist of tips on how to run a successful garage sale …
• Find a partner. Get a neighbour to join in and you can split the advertising costs plus attract more customers with combined items.
• Limit costly items. You’ll get a better price for higher ticket things like pianos or motorboats by advertising them in the local newspaper.
• No midweek sales. SATURDAY is usually the best day of the week.
• Clearly mark prices. People will be less likely to buy if they have to keep asking, ‘How much?’.
(And how about ‘No Returns’? You carry it off the property, and you’re stuck with it, pal.)
– “Consumer Reports”

Belgian artist Jan Fabre’s latest exhibition is entitled “Temples of Meat” because it’s made from – bacon, steak, and ground chuck. Fabre and his assistants worked through the night to turn 100 kg of steak (220 lbs), 15 kg of hamburger (33 lbs) and a few kilometers of bacon into ‘art’. It includes a coat made of steak and a tent of bacon with sleeping bags of steak. The exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art in Ghent will only be on display for 3 days – until it goes ‘off’. (No need for directions to the gallery – just follow your nose!)
– “De Morgen”

“I have an eating addiction that I am constantly trying to control. I know that there have been instances where … I’m eating to repress my feelings.”
– Oprah Winfrey on why she’s reportedly piled on 32 lbs of late.

A small group calling itself ‘The Compact’ first banded together in San Francisco CA a couple of years back with the mandate of taking a 12-month time-out from the consumer grid – buying nothing new except food, medicine and toiletries. It has now attracted some 700 members worldwide who share this passion for tool-sharing, library-going, and thrift-store-shopping. Why? The goals are threefold …
• To go beyond recycling in counteracting disposable consumer culture.
• To reduce clutter and waste in their homes.
• To simplify their lives.
– “Social Studies”


1943 [63] Eric Idle, South Shields UK, Broadway musical composer (“Spamalot”)/former TV comic (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus” 1969-1974)/movie actor (“102 Dalmatians”)

1959 [47] Perry Farrell, Queens NY, rock singer (ex-Jane’s Addiction, ex-Porno for Pyros)/”Lollapalooza” founder (1991)

1963 [43] Elle Macpherson, Sydney, Australia, fashion model/movie actress (“Batman & Robin”)

1967 [39] John Popper, Cleveland OH, hefty rock singer (Blues Traveler -“Run-Around”)

1969 [37] Brady Seals, Hamilton OH, country singer (“I Fell”, Little Texas-“My Love”)

• “Mom & Pop Business Owners Day”, honoring family-run small-time business operations. Ask listeners for the most unusual combination of services offered by a single business that they’ve come across, ie: “Al’s Roofing & Dry Cleaning”, “Bytown Farm Equipment & Driving Range”, “Corner Gas, Video & Tacky Souvenirs”, Slick Willy’s Used Jeeps & Massage, etc)

• “Vietnam Veterans Day”. The last American troops left Vietnam 33 years ago TODAY in 1973, but the Pentagon is still hunting down and arresting Vietnam deserters. In the past 18 months the US Marine Corps has caught 34 long-time deserters after reopening dozens of closed cases. In 1971, at the height of the Vietnamese conflict, some 33,000 soldiers deserted, many moving to Canada.

1998 [08] Shania Twain kicks off her 1st Canadian headlining tour in Sudbury ON

1848 [158] 1st time in recorded history Niagara Falls stops flowing, due to ice jam (the flow of the Falls is now controlled to prevent erosion and is shut down by 50% each night)

1867 [139] British North America Act 1st establishes ‘Dominion of Canada’

1886 [120] Atlanta’s John S Pemberton brews 1st batch of ‘Coca-Cola’ over a backyard fire, originally as a hangover cure and stomach ache/headache remedy

1984 [22] NFL’s Baltimore Colts move to Indianapolis

1987 [19] Largest-ever indoor sports promotion as Hulk Hogan defeats Andre the Giant before 93,136 fans at “Wrestlemania III” in Pontiac Silverdome (2.5 million watch on pay-per-view)

[Thurs] I Am In Control Day
[Thurs] Hot Dog Day
[Thurs] Take a Walk in the Park Day
[Thurs] Doctor’s Day
[Sat/Mon] NCAA Final Four basketball (Indianapolis IN)
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time begins
[Sun] “2006 Juno Awards” (Halifax NS)
This Week Is … Sleep Awareness Week (on this show it’s ‘Lack of Sleep Awareness Week’)
This Month Is … Play The Recorder Month (but do it outside, ‘kay?)


• On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.
• Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.
• The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.
• Buying a gift for your girl? She’ll hate it – and you – if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.
• About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.
• All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.
• Any good woman will tell you, honesty is not always the best policy.
• Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
• She likes one of your friends.
• It never hurts to say you’re sorry, even if you don’t mean it.
– “Maxim”

• Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with? Least like?
• Which cartoon character do you resemble the most?

Are the following statements true or just a steaming heap of sheet?
• It’s an insult to tip a waitress in Iceland. [TRUE]
• A shrimp’s heart is in its head. [TRUE]
• Lakes and oceans only look blue because they reflect the sky. [BS. The sky does play a role on the surface, but water looks blue because water actually IS blue.]
• The info in online encyclopedia ‘Wikipedia’ is verified to be correct. [BS. Because anybody can contribute to the databank, the Website itself notes that some articles may contain misinformation.]
• A crocodile can’t stick its tongue out. [TRUE]
• Saturn is the only planet with rings. [BS. Jupiter, Uranus & Neptune also have rings but not as noticeable.]
• A pregnant goldfish is called a ‘twit’. [TRUE]
• The Great Wall of China is the only man-made object visible from the Moon. [BS. Astronauts have reported they could not see ANY man-made object from the Moon.]
• The 4 seasons are all the same length. [BS. They vary slightly, with Northern Hemisphere summer/Southern Hemisphere winter being longest.]
• Horses can’t vomit. [TRUE]

Today’s Question: A lot of women claim to be THIS, although statistics prove otherwise.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Natural redheads.

What I ought to do, I can. If I can, why don’t I?

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