Tuesday, March 28, 2006        Edition: #3248
Now With More Bull And Less Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Christopher Anderson’s new unauthorized biography of aging diva Barbra Streisand called “Barbra: The Way She Is” is published, which claims her many conquests have included Prince Charles, Warren Beatty, Kris Kristofferson, Don Johnson, Jon Voight, Andre Agassi, Richard Gere, Liam Neeson & late ABC-TV news anchor Peter Jennings (what, no mention of Pierre Trudeau?) . . . TODAY through Thursday, egghead game show “Jeopardy!” is taking contestant auditions online (find out if you qualify here – NET: http://www.jeopardy.com) . . . Actor Kyle MacLachlan (‘Trey’ on “Sex & the City”) is joining the cast of “Desperate Housewives” for several episodes as a love interest for Teri Hatcher’s character ‘Susan’ (so apparently things aren’t gonna work out with the plumber, the surgeon, or the candlestick-maker) . . . Former “Friends” star Lisa Kudrow has confirmed that a reunion show was in the works, but 1 unnamed male cast member refused to make a comeback appearance despite the multi-million-dollar payday being offered  (certainly not Matt LeBlanc – after “Joey” it’s obvious he’ll do anything for a buck) . . . The president of the National Amusements cinema chain says movie theaters are likely to begin screening live 3-D telecasts of sports events by 2007 (because by then, there’ll be no one left willing to fork out 12 bucks for a lame movie) . . . As a kid, “Inside Man” star Denzel Washington once won a talent contest as the ‘Paul McCartney’ in an all-black Beatles tribute band . . . Marlon Brando’s first screen test has just been discovered, showing the legendary actor as the original “Rebel Without a Cause” 8 years before James Dean made the classic film (Brando refused the role in 1947 for reasons still unknown) . . . And London’s Selfridges department store is now offering a ‘SpeedPod’ service that transfers your old-style vinyl records onto your iPod – with or without the snaps, crackles & pops (for a fee of about 20 bucks per album – for which you likely paid only about 10 bucks).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Timberlake – He’s landed his first lead movie role as an action hero in the upcoming war film “Stop the Loss”. He’ll finish recording his new album before filming starts.
• Ludacris (Chris Bridges) – TONIGHT he guest-stars on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” as actor Ice-T’s nephew. He’s developing quite the acting résumé with appearances in the movies “Crash”, “Hustle & Flow”, and “2 Fast, 2 Furious”.
• Paul McCartney – His campaigning wife Heather Mills McCartney is causing concern with her latest project: trying to get us to stop consuming milk, which she claims is damaging to health.
• Roy Orbison – TODAY a 2-disc compilation of his music entitled “The Essential Roy Orbison” is released, which traces his career from 1956 until his death in 1988.
• Tim McGraw – TODAY his greatest hits collection “ Tim McGraw Reflected: Hits Vol 2″ is in stores, featuring a slew of #1 hits (like “Live Like You Were Dying”), plus 6 tracks never previously released.
• Willie Nelson – TONIGHT he guests on “Late Show With David Letterman”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Get Rich or Die Tryin’” ( Urban Drama – DVD ): The semi-autobiographical feature film debut of 50 Cent (Curtis Jackson) is about an inner-city drug dealer who tries to change direction to pursue his true passion – rap music. Co-stars Oscar-nominee Terrence Howard (“Hustle & Flow”) & Joy Bryant. Some scenes shot in Toronto & Wasaga Beach ON.
• “King Kong” ( Adventure Thriller – DVD ): Peter Jackson’s $200-million epic retelling of the 1933 film adventure comes in a single-disc version & a lavish, 2-disc ‘Special Edition’. Stars Naomi Watts, Jack Black & Adrien Brody, but Andy Serkis got most of the kudos as the actor-template for the big monkey. Despite so-so reviews, it grossed close to $550 million worldwide.
• “Memoirs of a Geisha” ( Romantic Drama – DVD ): The story of ‘Sayuri’ in pre-WW2 Japan, from her humble beginnings in a fishing village through her rise to become a legendary geisha, trained in all the artistic and social skills. Chinese actress Ziyi Zhang has the title role. Ken Wantanabe, Michelle Yeoh & Gong Li co-star. Shot entirely in California. Available in a 2-disc ‘Special Edition’.
• “Stay” ( Psychological Thriller – DVD ): Ewan McGregor plays a dedicated psychiatrist trying to stop a secretive and unusual art student (Ryan Gosling) from carrying out a planned suicide on the eve of his 21st birthday. Things get complicated as the shrink gets drawn more and more into the patient’s obsessive world.
• Also on DVD TODAY: A stripped-down bargain edition of the original “King Kong”, in glorious black & white; and the 5-disc box set, “Six Feet Under”, featuring the TV show’s final 12 episodes.

ALARMING CLOCK:
Mohammed Fayed, the flamboyant owner of London’s famous Harrods store, has announced he wants to be mummified when he dies, and have his embalmed body made into the hour hand on the massive clock atop his store. A spokesman admits it sounds like a mad idea but Fayed’s a showman and revels in this kind of thing. (Ever since his son Dodi died in the car accident with Princess Di, it seems he’s become increasingly unhinged.)
– “The Sun”

ALL-TIME TOP GUITAR SOLOS:
According to a magazine readers’ poll, here are the best-ever ax riffs …
10. Queen – “Bohemian Rhapsody” (1975)
9. Free – “All Right Now” (1971)
8. Ozzy Osbourne – “Crazy Train” (1980)
7. Jimi Hendrix – “Voodoo Child” (1968)
6. Cream – “Crossroads” (1968)
5. Metallica – “Enter Sandman” (1991)
4. The Eagles – “Hotel California” (1976)
3. Guns N’ Roses – “Paradise City” (1987)
2. Van Halen – “Eruption” (1978)
1. Led Zeppelin – “Stairway to Heaven” (1971)
– “Total Guitar Magazine”

TAG TREND?
If one UK charity is correct, ‘dog tags’ in the style of the metal ID chains worn by soldiers will replace wristbands as this year’s fashionable way to support causes. The Samaritans organization has already launched the first fund-raising tags after consulting with fashion industry insiders, who predicted that this summer’s hot item will be dog tags. (But to really be in full military vogue, you also need a missing limb.)
– “The Independent”

DID YOU KNOW?
Odd facts from collected behavioral studies …
• The less eye contact you and your spouse make when talking, the happier you are with your marriage. (Hey, to be totally ecstatic, make it a long distance call.)
• You will allow a short stranger to stand twice as close to you as a tall one in an elevator. (Because they only come up to here … hey, wait a minute!)
– “The Book of You”, by Bernard Asbell

FAKING IT:
A new 6-month review of résumés has found that a surprising number contain ‘major misrepresentations’ (aka ‘lies’). In fact, almost half of résumés are bogus. 42.7% of the thousands of CVs reviewed contain 1 or more significant errors. (“Now let’s talk about how you managed to win the Nobel Peace Prize with no one hearing about it … in back-to-back years.”)
– Inc.com / RésuméDoctor.com

FLIGHTPLAN:
The world’s biggest passenger plane, the Airbus A380 super-jumbo, has passed a safety test even though 33 people were injured during the drill in Hamburg, Germany. One man broke his leg and 32 others suffered minor injuries while using the plane’s emergency slides.  But a company spokesman declared the test a great success as all 853 passengers and 20 crew members managed to exit the craft in just 80 seconds. Airbus has already pre-sold 159 of the new double-decker A380s. (So big you can lose your kid in one … just ask Jodie Foster.)
– “GQ”

PHONES LESS FUN?
There was a time when a phone call was something special, but not anymore it seems. Now that many of us have a phone on or about our bodies 24/7, we may be getting bored with the constant yammering. Witness these highlights from a new survey by HomePhone on the things we do while yakking …
• 62% of us have continued to watch TV while on the phone.
• 33% of have made phone calls while in the nude.
• 10% of us have put the phone down and left the caller talking to themselves.
• 5% of us have become so bored with a phone conversation that we’ve fallen asleep.
– Reuters

PET FOOD IS BETTER THAN FAST FOOD:
It may seem a bit over the top, but a new study has found that most prepared pet foods contain less fat, salt, and sugar levels than human fast food. Nutrition experts who compared 30 human meals with 15 pet foods discovered that Gourmet Gold cat food, for instance, has far less fat than a McDonald’s Big Mac or a Pizza Hut pie, and 8 times less than KFC. (Well, no wonder grandma’s looking so healthy!)
– ANI

THE BULL SHEET 03.28.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [55] Karen Kain, Hamilton ON, retired prima ballerina who’s now ‘Artist in Residence’ with National Ballet of Canada/Companion of the Order of Canada

1955 [51] Reba McEntire, McAlester OK, country singer with 30 #1 singles, 14 #1 albums (“Does He Love You”)/TV sitcom actress (“Reba” since 2001)/Broadway actress (“Annie Get Your Gun”)

1970 [36] Vince Vaughn, Minneapolis MN, movie actor (“Wedding Crashers”, “Old School”)  UP NEXT: The romantic comedy “The Break Up”, opening JUNE 2nd, the film on which he & co-star Jennifer Aniston became an item.

1981 [25] Julia Stiles, NYC, movie actress (“The Bourne Supremacy”, “Mona Lisa Smile”)  COMING UP: A remake of the 1976 horror classic “The Omen”, opening JUNE 6th.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “American Diabetes Alert Day”, an annual, one-day call-to-action held on the 4th Tuesday of March for people to find out if they are at risk for diabetes. The online ‘Risk Test’ is an easy way to find out if you are at risk for diabetes …
NET: http://www.diabetes.org/communityprograms-and-localevents/americandiabetesalert.jsp

• “Hot Tub Day”, time to soak yourself in a steaming hot tub and bust the stress. Yum, human stew!

• “Something on a Stick Day”, celebrating corn dogs, shish kebabs, Popsicles, ice cream bars, and anything else that’s served on a stick. (Beersicle, anyone?)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1930 [76] Turkish cities of ‘Constantinople’ and ‘Angora’ are renamed ‘Istanbul’ and ‘Ankara’

1994 [12] 1st ‘Eggvertising’ as a phone company ad is printed on eggs in Britain (and that’s no yolk!)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
[Wed] Vietnam Veterans Day
[Thurs] Hot Dog Day
[Thurs] Take a Walk in the Park Day
[Fri] Tater Day
[Sat] April Fools Day
[Sat] 19th “Kids’ Choice Awards” (LA CA)
This Week Is … Pediatric Nurse Practitioner Week
This Month Is … Caffeine Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

ACTUAL TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Dead Hubby Buried With Winning Lotto Ticket in Pocket!”
• “Dog Missing Since 1940 Returns, Bites Master!”
• “Bigmouth Swami Swallows Himself!”
• “Porcupine Falls Head Over Heels in Love – With a Broom!”
• “Missing Baby Found Inside Watermelon – He’s Alive!”
• “Show-Off Drops Dead After Eating Two Telephone Books!”

GOOD OR BAD?
Ask a listener or studio guest to rate the following as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’ as you read off the items rapid-fire …
• Old singers that record a collection of even older cover tunes in order to sell albums.
• TV ads about feminine problems … during dinner hour.
• Laser labels on supermarket fruit instead of stickers.
• TV programs loaded onto your cellphone.
• Online dating services.
• Evangelical organizations who ignore warnings and go into war zones to ‘intervene’.
• March Madness.

• An explanation of anything from Paula Abdul.
• Spring cleaning.
• Widescreen DVDs.
(Makes a good bit for voting on your Website.)

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• And now live from the outskirts of sanity …
• I’m really pissed at my next door neighbor … so I bought his kid a drum.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Q: What animal is believed to have the best hearing – a dog, an owl, or your wife when you try to sneak into the house at 3 am?
A: The barn owl. Its face is dish-shaped, enabling it to receive sounds like sonar.
– “Totally Trivial”

BS INTERVIEW:
‘Neighborhood Electric Vehicles’ are replacing cars for the morning commute in several areas of the southern US (Preachtree City GA, for instance, is laced with paths designed especially for them). They’re actually just souped-up golf carts, with DVD players, custom paint jobs and flashy upholstery, that typically cost between $5,000 and $8,000. Why the trend? They’re legal on low-speed roads, easy to park, and only cost about 2 cents a mile to operate.
PHONER: 954.941.3918 (Jeff Blitman, Golf Car Depot, Pompano Beach FL)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Exercise is the activity that’s most likely to make us sweat. What’s second?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Public speaking.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If at first you DO succeed … try not to look astonished.

 


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