Monday, March 20, 2006        Edition: #3242
A Bull in Hand Is A Sheetload of Prep!

WEEKEND TABLOID BS:
• 40-year-old actress Sarah Jessica Parker reportedly had her feet digitally-enhanced in the movie “Failure to Launch”. Why? Her feet were damaged from years of squeezing into endless pairs of Jimmy Choo stilettos for “Sex & the City”. A studio insider says only computer wizardry could improve their appearance.
– “News Of The World”
• “Desperate Housewives” actress Nicollette Sheridan has apparently stopped eating meat to please her new fiancé Michael Bolton, who is a strict vegan. In fact, Bolton avoids not only meat, but all dairy products and anything made from animals. According to a friend of the couple, Sheridan is really trying … but she does sneak a chicken now and then.
– “Contact Music”
• 54-year-old actor/singer Tom Wopat, most famous for playing ‘Luke Duke’ in the “Dukes of Hazzard” TV series, is facing several charges after being pulled over for allegedly driving his Ford Bronco in an alcohol-induced state. Reports say he hit several traffic cones and narrowly missed crashing into a cop cruiser on the scene of an accident in Ringwood NJ. Maybe if he’d had ‘The General’ he could have got away?
– “USA Today”
• Actor Tom Cruise has reportedly forced Comedy Central to cancel a repeat of a “South Park” episode that lampoons Scientology by telling Paramount he’d refuse to promote “Mission Impossible 3″ if the episode airs again. A spokesperson for Comedy Central confirms the episode has been yanked, but claims it’s so a tribute episode to Isaac Hayes can air.  Scientologist Hayes recently left the show on which he played ‘Chef’ for 9 years because he thought it mocked his religious convictions.
– “Page Six”
• First movies, then TV shows, now the news? KRON-TV in San Francisco and KMEX-TV in Los Angeles have confirmed that they integrate products into local newscasts as part of deals with advertisers to buy packages of spots. KRON President Mark Antonitis defends the product placement saying, “When you’re an independent, you’ve got to do what you can to survive.” So now we’ll be hearing news reports along the lines of: “A traffic accident involving a 2006 Chrysler 300, featuring standard leather interior and optional V-8 hemi engine …”
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• Michael Jackson has closed down the house on his Neverland Ranch and laid off some of the employees. However, his rep says the entire estate has not been completely shut down … yet. Meantime at the “Bahrain Grand Prix” LAST WEEK, Jackson reportedly hooked up with 50 Cent and his crew to discuss the idea of recording a duet. So what’s in it for Fiddy?
– “National Enquirer” / “News Of The World”
• Word has it the prematurely grey hair of “American Idol” contestant Taylor Hicks will become less prominent over the next couple of weeks and eventually we’ll be seeing him with hair that’s completely dyed black. Meanwhile judge Simon Cowell has made the prediction that Taylor will be one of the show’s 3 finalists, along with Kelly & Chris.
– TMZ.com / “Extra”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arctic Monkeys – FRIDAY the Brit rockers gig at the South By Southwest Music Festival in Austin TX was SRO, leaving some 4,000-plus fans to listen on the street outside. Word has it they were THE buzz band at this year’s SXSW.
• The Beatles – A production company is preparing an APRIL 24th pay-per-view TV special that purports to contact John Lennon … through a seance. Producers have allegedly been in touch with Indian mystics The Beatles knew personally.
• Chris Brown – TODAY he guests on “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• The Game – He has 3 movies in the works: the girls basketball drama “Tournament of Dreams”, the action film “Waist Deep”, and “The Millionaire Boys Club”, loosely based on his life.
• James Blunt – His relationship with girlfriend Camilla Boler is reportedly hitting the skids because he’s too busy traveling around-the-world to spend time with her.
• Shakira – Her new single, “Hips Don’t Lie”, is only available as a cellphone download to Verizon users. The tune & its music video can then be copied to a computer.
• Steve Winwood – TONIGHT the classic rocker does “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Yellowcard – TONIGHT they’re on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• TONIGHT the anti-war “Bring ‘Em Home Now” concert at New York’s Hammerstein Ballroom features REM singer Michael Stipe, Rufus Wainwright, Public Enemy’s Chuck D and actress Susan Sarandon. The event marking the 3rd anniversary of the beginning of the Iraq War benefits Veterans Against the War & Veterans For Peace and kicks off a national peace tour.
• TONIGHT through April 9th a revue called “Country: A Celebration of America’s Music” at the Kennedy Center in Washington DC features Vince Gill, Naomi & Wynonna Judd, Kris Kristofferson, and Loretta Lynn.
• TONIGHT FOX-TV’s “Prison Break” is back after being on hiatus for several months as the quest by ‘Michael Scofield’ (Wentworth Miller) to help his brother ‘Lincoln’ (Dominic Purcell) escape from death row continues. This show’s taking longer than the sentence!

CUTEST CELEB KIDS:
Based on another arbitrary ranking of all-things celebrity …
10. Apple Martin (Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin)
9. Willow Smith (Will Smith/Jada Pinkett-Smith)
8. Rocco Ritchie (Madonna/Guy Ritchie)
7. Charlie Crowe (Russell Crowe/Danielle Spencer)
6. Ella Bleu Travolta (John Travolta/Kelly Preston)
5. Rudy Law (Jude Law/Sadie Frost)
4. Ava Phillippe (Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillippe)
3. Liv Helen Freundlich (Julianne Moore/Bart Freundlich)
2. Rowan Henchy (Brooke Shields/Chris Henchy)
1. Maddox Jolie-Pitt (Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt)
This proves that an adopted urchin can out-cute even the best match-up of pretty Hollywood genes.
– “In Touch Weekly”

A DRINK A DAY KEEPS DEMENTIA AWAY:
A study from Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston MA finds that seniors who drink moderately are less likely to suffer dementia than teetotalers. ‘Moderate drinking’ is defined as 1 to 6 alcoholic drinks – per week. The researchers warn that those who drink too much add to their risk of mental deterioration. (Like forgetting where they were last night and the name of that hot-looking octogenarian in room 314.)
– “New Scientist”

STAYING POWER:
How long can the average pro athlete expect to maintain a career? Depends on the sport …
• Bowling – 17 years.
• Bullfighting – 10 years.
• Basketball/Baseball – 4.5 years.
• Football – 3.5 years.
– “Men’s Health”

ROAD MAP FOR ANTS:
Paul Rothemund & colleagues at the California Institute of Technology have created what is without question the smallest map ever made by coaxing strands of DNA, the molecule that holds the ‘code of life’, to form the shape of the Americas. The mini-map measures just a few hundred nanometers (billionths of a meter) across, smaller even than some bacteria. The map’s actual scale is 1-to-200 trillion. Of what possible use could this be? The researchers claim their technique could find uses in the emerging field of ‘nanotechnology’, which aims to manipulate individual atoms and molecules. (If that means things like changing the color of paint without painting … we’re all for it!)
– “Nature”

BS AMAZING FACT:
The average person ingests about a ton of food and drink … each year.

STUD STATS:
It may help you build the impression of being really ‘cool’ but a new study from the Academy of General Dentistry shows that wearing a tongue stud not only puts you at a risk for chipped teeth, recessed gums, infections and nerve damage, it may also be responsible for you growing a ‘second tongue’ … a mini-version formed by scar tissue adjacent to the piercing. (Great, now every hormone-infested teen is gonna want one!)
– ANI Health & Science

HE SAID IT:
“I’m not stupid. I know I’m not getting girls off my good looks. I look in the mirror when I brush my teeth, I know what I look like.”
– Kid Rock, admitting to “Blender” he’s not just in it for the artistry. (We wonder, did Pam Anderson have beer goggles on while ‘dating’ him or what?)

THE BULL SHEET 03.20.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [67] Brian Mulroney, Baie Comeau QC, much vilified Prime Minister of Canada 1984-93/father of “eTalk Daily” (since 2002) & “Canadian Idol” (since 2003) host Ben Mulroney

1948 [58] Bobby Orr, Parry Sound ON, hockey player agent/Hall of Fame NHL defenceman (Boston Bruins)/greatest hockey player of all-time?

1950 [56] William Hurt, Washington DC, movie actor (“A History of Violence”, Oscar-“Kiss of the Spiderwoman”)

1957 [49] Spike Lee, Brooklyn NY, movie director (“Malcolm X”)/movie producer (“The Original Kings of Comedy”)/movie actor (“Do the Right Thing”)  UP NEXT: The heist thriller “Inside Man”, in limited release FRIDAY, starring Denzel Washington, Clive Owen & Jodie Foster.

1958 [48] Holly Hunter, Conyers GA, movie actress (Oscar-“The Piano”, “The Firm”)

1964 [42] Tracy Chapman, Cleveland OH, pop/folk singer (“Give Me One Reason”, “Fast Car”)

1976 [30] Chester Bennington, Phoenix AZ, rock singer (Linkin Park-“Numb/Encore”, “In the End”)  FACTOID: He & wife Talinda have a new baby boy, Tyler Lee, born THURSDAY in LA.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Annual Office Coffee Cup Washing”, whether your scum-laden, germ-infested, mold-encrusted mug needs it or not.

• “Extraterrestrial Abductions Day”, honoring all wackos who claim they’ve been kidnapped by aliens.

• “Nowruz”, the Persian New Year. The date is determined by the solar calendar and begins on the First Day of Spring. The festival lasts for 13 days and is a time of renewal and joy.
NET: http://www3.kumc.edu/diversity/ethnic_relig/nawruz.html

• “Proposal Day”, when both men & women are encouraged to pop the big question.

• “Single Parents Day”, honoring those who have the fortitude to be sole provider for their families.

• “Snowman Burning”, the 35th annual at Lake Superior State University in Sault Sainte Marie MI, a celebration that includes the reading of poetry and doggerel heralding the end of winter, followed by the effigy burning of a snowman … and lots of heavy-duty toasting.

• “Spring” officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere with the vernal equinox at 1:26 pm EST. According to a University of Munich study, warmer Spring weather is coming earlier and cooler Autumn temps arriving later, extending the growing season by at least 10 days in recent years.

• “World Figure Skating Championships” jump and spin at the Saddledome in Calgary AB.
NET: http://www.worlds2006.ca

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ:
1964 [42] TV game show “Jeopardy!” debuts, with Art Fleming as host (Alex Trebek now hosts the revival that began in 1984)

1969 [37] ‘Big Bird’ debuts on “Sesame Street”, an 8′-2″ oversized Muppet for which Caroll Spinney provides the voice & puppetry, holding the 4-and-a-half lb head up with his right arm

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1897 [109] 1st known ‘Intercollegiate Basketball Game’ (Yale 32, Penn 10)

1954 [52] 1st ‘Newspaper Vending Machine’ (Columbia PA)

1980 [26] 1st ‘sighting’ of Elvis reported, despite his widely rumored 1977 death (Butte, Montana)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1999 [07] Hot air balloon piloted by Brian Jones of England & Bertrand Piccard of Switzerland completes ‘Nonstop Around-the-World Flight’

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Teacher Appreciation Day
[Tues] International Astrology Day
[Tues] Children’s Poetry Day
[Tues] World Day for Elimination of Racial Discrimination
[Wed] International Goof-Off Day
[Thurs] World Meteorological Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Agriculture Week / Poison Prevention Week / World Clown Week / Spring Fever Week / Week of Solidarity with People’s Struggling Against Racism & Racial Discrimination / Bubble Week (the beginning of ‘Bubble-Blowing Season’!) / Clutter Awareness Week

BULL’S BITS

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit there is a need to nail down the lids of coffins?
• Whyzit signs that say ‘Slow Children’ have a picture of a kid running?
• Whyzit they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
• Whyzit if blind people wear dark glasses but deaf people don’t wear earmuffs?
• Whyzit women marry men hoping they will change but men marry women hoping they won’t?

ACTUAL TABLOID HEADLINES:
• Computer Virus Spreads to Humans!”
• “Aliens Revealed as Cow-Nappers!”
• “Fed-Up Couple Sells Home … With Her Parents In It!”
• “Talking Dolphin Predicts Future!”
• “Girl Gets Pig’s Arm – Becomes Bowling Champ!”

BS PHONE STARTER:
• What famous person do other people tell you that you most resemble? And do you?
• What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? Did it taste like chicken?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average lifespan of one of THESE is just 2 years.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Computer mouse.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Intuition is reason in a hurry.

WELCOME NEWBIES:
“BS” welcomes samplers this week that include Daryl MacLean @ FM 98 The Beach [CFPS] Port Elgin ON; Jeff Allen @ FM 99 The Mountain [KMXE] Red Lodge MT; and Mike Morgan @ Sunny 94.3 [KADQ] Idaho Falls ID. Welcome aboard! You can subscribe or renew your “BS” subscription anytime at our Website – http://thebullsheet.com/location.html

 


Printer Friendly Version