Thursday, March 16, 2006        Edition: #3240
Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “X-Men” star Hugh Jackman will pick up his award as ‘Male Star of the Year’ at the closing-night ceremony of the annual “ShoWest” get-together of movie-theater owners in Las Vegas (what qualifies him for this is – he’s the one who agreed to show up) . . . TONIGHT through April 3rd is the annual “NCAA Basketball Tournament” known as “March Madness”, and for the first time CBS-TV is offering free live streaming video of early round games at its Website – until the broadband site reaches its maximum users, that is (NET: http://cbs.sportsline.com) . . . Apple iTunes Music Store is offering condensed versions of the “March Madness” basketball games a day after they air on CBS-TV (marked-down, day-old games will cost you $1.99) . . . “Rick Mercer Report” contributor Daryn Jones has been named as 1 of 7 hosts for MTV Canada’s new flagship show, “MTV Live” . . . Britney Spears has reportedly put husband Kevin Federline on an allowance (from now on, he’s only allowed 1 screw-up per day) . . . Geezer journalist Mike Wallace has announced he’ll no longer be a regular contributor to CBS-TV news mag “60 Minutes” as of MAY – when he’ll be turning 88 (after 38 years on the show, will they give him a gold stopwatch?) . . . “Rock Star 2″ producer Mark Burnett has revealed that, instead of a name band in search of a singer, this summer’s series will feature a brand new group comprised of members from existing or defunct bands (thus explaining the Tommy Lee rumor) . . . Film mogul George Lucas has agreed to write a 100-episode “Star Wars” TV series, covering the missing years between “Revenge of the Sith” and the original 1977 film (oh please George, let it die!) . . . And according to a new survey by Nielsen Research, the average household now receives 96.4 TV channels – but regularly watches only 15.4 of them! (so where is this Channel .4 anyway?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Andrea Bocelli – TONIGHT he’s on the “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” on CBS-TV.
• Ashley Parker Angel – The former O-Town member’s “Let U Go” was produced by Clif Magness, who’s previously worked with Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson & Clay Aiken.
• Breaking Point – The “All Messed Up” band used to rehearse in a tough part of Memphis TN where they could hear gunshots in the background.
• Jake Owen – “Yee Haw” is the debut country single for the 24-year-old Florida native.
• Kanye West – He’ll launch an acting career in a movie inspired by his own tunes. The so-far-untitled film will feature a series of short stories from 10-to-12 different directors, linked by a central narrative.
• Mariah Carey – For her latest video she was shot running around Paris’ fabulous Louis Vuitton store, escorted by Pharrell Williams while trying to squeeze into the designer’s latest collection.
• Megan Mullins – The “Ain’t What It Used To Be” singer began taking violin lessons at the tender age of 18 months. She’s now proficient on 7 musical instruments.
• Morningwood – The retro-punk/new-wave NYC band is fronted by Chantal Claret. “Nth Degree” is the most pop-sounding track on their self-titled debut album.

FUTURE FLICKS:
Filmmaker George Lucas has finally given the go-ahead to a script for the long-awaited 4th “Indiana Jones” movie, and passed it onto director Steven Spielberg for fine-tuning (at this rate, shooting will begin when Harrison Ford turns 80) . . . Paul Greengrass will direct Matt Damon in “The Bourne Ultimatum”, the 3rd installment of the action series, and promises it will be bigger & better than its predecessors in every way (Matt’s put on weight since wedding?) . . . Producers of the upcoming bio-film “Kentucky Bluebird” are looking for someone who can sing both country & bluegrass in order to portray the late Keith Whitley, who died from alcohol poisoning in 1989 (another challenge for Joaquin Phoenix?) . . . Actress Julia Roberts’ has bought the film rights to Cammie McGovern’s new book “Eye Contact”, about an autistic boy who’s the only witness to a girl’s murder, intending to use it for her next movie project after she finishes her debut Broadway stage run in “Three Days Of Rain” . . . A new documentary film about late gonzo journalist Hunter S Thompson entitled “Buy The Ticket, Take The Ride” will include contributions from actors Johnny Depp, Sean Penn, Bill Murray, John Cusack & Benicio Del Toro . . . And 26-year-old “Superman Returns” actor Brandon Routh says he’s already preparing for fame by wearing a disguise in public, even though the film doesn’t even open until JUNE 30th (talk about anticipating stardom!).

DID YOU KNOW?
Italy’s National Standards Body has ruled that ‘genuine pizza’ can only contain San Marzano tomatoes, buffalo milk mozzarella, and extra virgin olive oil. (OK, buffalos we can find – but extra virgins?)

NEW SCIENCE:
• Researchers in Greece have found that regular marijuana smokers may find their memories growing hazy over time. Long-term users, who’ve smoked 4 or more joints per week for at least 10 years, show the greatest deficits in memory, attention span and mental ability. (As well as signs of malnutrition from a regular diet of Doritos.)
– “Neurology”
• Trying to dismiss your worries and anxieties before getting into bed each night may not be such a good idea after all. A new psychological study from Australia’s University of New South Wales has found that ignoring disturbing thoughts actually leads to having more dreams or nightmares about them. (Well, no wonder some people smoke 4 or more joints per week!)
– ANI
• A new University of Michigan study for the National Institute on Aging finds that, instead of the stereotype of the grieving widow, most are quite merry. In fact, 6 months after the death of their partners, nearly half of seniors have few symptoms of grief whatsoever. And 10% actually cheer up! (“Bob who? Never hear of him.”)
– Reuters Health News

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 66% of us say that if we hit a parked car and no one saw us, we’d never admit to it.
• 33% of us say the best thing about going to work is getting all the gossip.
• 30% of us now say we simply ‘could not function’ without a cellphone.
• 18% of us manage to keep our New Years resolution for the entire year.
• 7% of dog owners have had a birthday party for their dog … and even invited other dogs.

FOR THE RECORD:
Colleen Porter of Kailua-Kona, Hawaii has just been confirmed by the “Guinness Book of World Records” as the grower of the ‘World’s Heaviest Mango’ – a 5-lb, 7-oz monster close to the size of a human head.
– “Daily News”

TOP TOYS OF ALL-TIME:
Ranked by sales, historical significance, longevity, and online voting …
10. Wiffle ball & bat
9. Slinky
8. Yo-yo
7. Star Wars figures
6. Monopoly
5. Mr Potato Head
4. GI Joe
3. Lego
2. Barbie
1. Hula Hoop
– VH1

ROAD OUTRAGE:
Australian police pulled over a motorist on the busy Hume Highway between Sydney and Melbourne for driving – backwards. In fact, he’d been driving in reverse for more than 25 miles, and had another 56 miles to go to get home to the town of Numurkah. Why go backwards? He claims it’s the only gear in his car that works. He’s been charged with ‘reversing further than necessary’, as well as ‘unlicensed driving’ and ‘driving an unregistered car’. (He was also charged with ‘duh’.)
– Reuters

HOLLYWOOD’S MOST NATURAL BEAUTIES:
According to a new poll of the National Association of Screen Make-Up Artists & Hairdressers, here are the celebs with the most natural good looks before any ‘professional work’ is done …
• Actresses: Scarlett Johansson, followed by Kate Winslet, and Catherine Zeta Jones.
• Actors: Orlando Bloom, followed by Jake Gyllenhaal, and Johnny Depp.
– “A Socialite’s Life”

THE BULL SHEET 03.16.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [80] Jerry Lewis (Levitch), Newark NJ, movie actor (“Nutty Professor”)/MD fund raiser

1949 [57] Victor Garber, London ON, TV actor (“Alias” 2001-06)/Broadway actor (“Damn Yankees”)/movie actor (“Legally Blonde”, “Titanic”)

1950 [56] Kate Nelligan, London ON, movie actress (“Cider House Rules”, Oscar nomination-“Prince of Tides”)

1954 [52] Nancy Wilson, San Francisco CA, classic rock singer (Heart-“Barracuda”, “Magic Man”)

1967 [39] Lauren Graham, Honolulu HI, TV actress (‘Lorelai Gilmore’ on “The Gilmore Girls” since 2000)

1971 [35] Greg Johnson, Thunder Bay ON, NHL center (Nashville Predators)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Everything You Do Is Right Day” … honey.

• “Freedom of Information Day”, celebrating the idea that all citizens in a democracy can access government information, if they have a lawyer, a dozen years to burn … and a gazillion bucks.

• “Lips Appreciation Day”, when we’re encouraged to do something nice for our lips … kiss somebody. Go ahead, pick someone at random and see how big a lawsuit happens.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1971 [35] 1st televised “Grammy Awards” (Simon & Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water” named ‘Best Song’, ‘Best Album’ & ‘Record of the Year’)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1876 [130] 1st ‘Women’s Boxing Match’ (Nelly Saunders & Rose Harland in NYC)

1996 [10] 1st NHL game in Montreal’s new Molson Centre (now Bell Centre) which Canadiens win 4-2 over Rangers)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Submarine Day
[Fri] St Patrick’s Day
[Fri] World Maritime Day
[Sat] Maple Syrup Saturday
[Sun] Teenagers Day
[Mon] Spring arrives (1:26 pm EST)
[Mon] Annual Office Coffee Cup Washing
[Mon-Mar 26] World Figure Skating Championships (Calgary AB)
This Week Is . . . Agriculture Week / Spring Fever Week
This Month Is . . . Collision Awareness Month / Eye Donor Month

BULL’S BITS

BS IRISH TOASTS:
Sure to make you the hit of the “St Patrick’s Day” party …
• “May your codpiece always be a size too small.”
• “May you never have to hear that caterwauling lass from the Cranberries ever screech again.”
• “May ‘Celtic Woman’ singers fondle your blarney stones.”
• “May the wind at your back not be the result of the corned beef & cabbage you had for lunch.”
• “Here’s to ya. If you’re lucky enough to be Irish, it’s all the luck you need.”

BS IRISH EXPRESSIONS FOR SEX:
• “Peelin’ the potato”
• “Mowin’ the clover”
• “Watching the soda bread rise”
• “Getting shille-laid”
• “Cleaning the bagpipes”
• “Oh Danny boy … oh boy … oh boy!”
• “Flying Aer Lingus”
• “O’Humping”

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Would you rather have a child much more intelligent or much more attractive than yourself?
• The worldwide box office for movies fell 7.9% in 2005. Why have you stopped going to movies? Bad films, high prices, or you’d just rather watch DVDs at home?

ALL-TIME BOX OFFICE CHAMPS:
When adjusted for ticket price inflation and ranked in 2006 dollars, here are the top-grossing domestic movie releases of all-time …
5. “The Ten Commandments” ($838 million)
4. “ET the Extra-Terrestrial” ($908 million)
3. “The Sound of Music” ($911 million)
2. “Star Wars” ($1.1 billion)
1. “Gone With the Wind” ($1.3 billion)
Interestingly, “Titanic” would only rate 6th.
– Box Office Mojo

BS KILLER QUESTION:
Q: There are 6 facial expressions that are universal to all humans … name them.
A: They are – happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, anger and surprise.

DOG’S BREAKFAST:
Here’s a fun bit courtesy of Graham Mack @ Century FM Manchester UK – once a week (Friday morning?) bring in your pet dog to make predictions. The pooch gets a choice of 3 marked bowls of food. Whichever it eats from first is his official ‘prediction’. Predict sports (by  marking the bowls ‘win’, ‘lose’, ‘tie’), weather (‘cloudy’, ‘sunny’, ‘rainy’), or maybe predict who’ll be voted off TV reality shows. Keep track of Fido’s forecasts vs the ‘experts’.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a recent poll, THIS is the #1 fashion trend women never want to see make a comeback.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Shoulder pads.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
People seldom want to walk over you until you lie down.

 


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