Tuesday, March 7, 2006        Edition: #3233
“There’s No BS Like Show BS … “

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY a sealed-bid auction of John Lennon’s original draft of lyrics to The Beatles’ classic “A Day in the Life” ends in NYC, with the winning bid expected to top $2 million (he wrote the song after reading about the death of his friend, Guinness heir Tara Browne, in the “Daily Mail “ on January 17, 1967) . . . Now that the Oscars are over, acting nominee Heath Ledger is taking close to a year off to travel with his Oscar-nominated girlfriend, Michelle Williams, and their new baby . . . 61-year-old former glam rocker Gary Glitter, now serving 3 years for child abuse in a Vietnamese prison, is writing his memoirs, which he says will blast the ‘media conspiracy’ against him . . . LAST WEEK “American Idol 5″ frontrunner Chris Daughtry impressed the judges with his rendition of “Hemorrhage” by Fuel and it seems it also impressed Fuel – so much so that they’ve reportedly offered him a job as their lead singer . . . “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest has been linked-up lately with “Playboy” pin-up Lauren Michelle Hill . . . Movie actor/director Ed Burns is taking modeling tips from his model wife Christy Turlington after signing on as the new face of menswear line Nautica . . . Ashton Kutcher’s new TV project is reportedly entitled “30-Year-Old Grandpa” . . . After denying it in the media, Britney Spears & Kevin Federline are reportedly telling friends that they’re expecting a 2nd child and – whoa! – she’s sure starting to look like it . . . A ghostwriter claims Jermaine Jackson withdrew a book proposal called “Legacy: Surviving the Best & the Worst” after his brother Michael threw a fit & threatened to sue when he found out about it (it reportedly would have confirmed Michael ‘has a thing for young children’) . . . And “Desperate Housewives” is now destined to become a perfume, as a new scent that is said to conjure up the women of ‘Wisteria Lane’ will debut later THIS YEAR.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beastie Boys – TONIGHT they do the “Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS-TV.
• Gorillaz – The animated band’s Brit creators, Damon Albarn & Jamie Hewlett, are developing an operatic production of cult 1970s TV show “Monkey”, which will boast Chinese acrobats and members of the acclaimed Beijing Opera.
• Kelly Clarkson – She’s got everything going except a relationship and has reportedly been asking friends if they know of any eligible bachelors who are smart, cute, funny … and not in the music biz.
• Kris Kristofferson – TONIGHT he’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Kylie Minogue – She’s flatly denying reports that she’ll perform at the MARCH 15th opening of the “Commonwealth Games” in her hometown of Melbourne, Australia. Her plan at this point is to stage her comeback from cancer in a DECEMBER concert spectacular.
• The Little Willies – TODAY the new group comprised of Norah Jones and 4 musician friends releases its self-titled debut album, a blend of originals and covers of country classics popularized by the likes of Willie Nelson & Kris Kristofferson.
• Ne-Yo – TODAY he guests on TV’s syndicated “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• Shakira – As soon as she had her first hit, she set up a charity to build schools in her native Colombia. The project now houses, educates and feeds some 3,000 kids.
 • Music in stores TODAY: “The Juno Awards 2006 Compilation” (featuring 18 Juno nominees); Blondie’s “Greatest Hits: Sound & Vision”; Van Morrison’s “Pay the Devil”; David Gilmour’s “On An Island”; Juvenile’s “Reality Check”; and Toto’s “Falling in Between”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire” ( Fantasy Adventure – DVD ): In this 4th chapter of the series, ‘Harry’ finds himself selected as an underage competitor in a dangerous multi-wizardry school competition. Available in a single-disc DVD, and 2-disc ‘Special Edition’ that includes additional scenes, cast interviews, games & behind-the-scenes features. Also out TODAY: “Harry Potter: Years 1-4″, a comprehensive 8-disc box set for the truly addicted.
• “Jarhead” ( Drama – DVD/VHS ): Jake Gyllenhaal stars in this war story based on former Marine Anthony Swofford’s best-selling 2003 book about his pre-“Desert Storm” experiences in Saudi Arabia, and the later fighting in Kuwait. Co-stars Scott MacDonald & Jamie Foxx.
• “Just Friends” ( Romantic Comedy – DVD ): Ryan Reynolds stars as a hot-shot record producer who comes face-to-face with his old high school crush (Amy Smart), whose rejection turned him into a ferocious womanizer and drove him to change his life. Partially shot in Regina & Moose Jaw SK.
• “Prime” ( Romantic Comedy – DVD/VHS ): Uma Thurman stars as a recently divorced 37-year-old single who falls head-over-heels for a 23-year-old painter (Bryan Greenberg) who still lives with his grandparents. And just to complicate things further, he also turns out to be the son of her therapist (Meryl Streep).
• Also on DVD TODAY: “Brady Bunch: The Complete Final Season”; “Walking Tall – The Complete Series”; “Spike Lee Joint Collection” (“Clockers”, “Jungle Fever”, “Do the Right Thing”, “Mo’ Better Blues”, “Crooklyn”); and “Buster Keaton – 65th Anniversary Collection”.

PICKIN’ & TALKIN’:
Here’s great news for those of you who are disappointed that your phone only has talk, text, e-mail, Web browsing, camera, music & calculator functions. Motorola is patenting a cellphone that displays the layout of a guitar neck on its screen. The guitar can be ‘plucked’ or ‘strummed’ by using the keypad with the resulting guitar sounds being played through the phone’s speaker or sent across the ether to another phone user. The phone has the usual 4 rows of keys, but switching to music mode turns the keys into a set of virtual strings that respond to pressing.
– “Wired”

BIOMETRIC ID:
There’s mounting unease about the cost and accuracy of the technology behind ‘Biometric Passports’, the first of which will be issued in Britain THIS WEEK. The new passports contain digitally coded information about the facial features of their bearer, such as the distance between their eyes, calculated from the supplied photograph.
– “GQ”

SHE SAID IT:
 “I am the mommy pop star and she is the baby pop star. I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her.”
– Madonna, telling the new issue of “Out” magazine how she explained her infamous “MTV Awards” kiss with Britney Spears to her increasingly gay-obsessed daughter, Lourdes. (Er, we’re not sure even an 8-year-old would buy that baloney.)

GENDER PLANNING:
Scientists have discovered that confident women, who tend to have high levels of testosterone, are more likely to give birth to boys than women with more accommodating personalities. The discovery of the so-called ‘Queen Bee Syndrome’ in mammals is the latest in a series of studies that challenges the traditional view that a baby’s sex is determined only by the domination of ‘X’ (female) or ‘Y’ (male) chromosomes during fertilization.
– ANI Science & Health

HILARIOUS HEADLINES:
Tom D’Antoni, a former headline writer for the “Sun” tabloid, has collected some of his best efforts for his new book, “Rabid Nun Infects Entire Convent”. Among his gems …
• “Grandma Turns Dog Inside Out Looking for Lost Lottery Ticket!”
• “Woman Goes on High-Fiber Diet, Eats Her Clothes!”
• “Cult Uses Human Heads for Bowling Balls!”
By the way, he admits most of the attention-grabbing slug-lines are nothing but hogwash.
– AP

DID YOU KNOW?
• The Motion Picture Production Industry Association of British Columbia predicts that $1 billion will be spent on film production in BC THIS YEAR, well above the figure for the past 2 years.
• Global Language Monitor has analyzed the acceptance speeches of Oscar winners since 1992 using the Flesch-Kincaid Readability Test and found that – the average Academy Award winner uses the vocabulary and syntax of a 10-year-old.
• More people go on diets in MARCH than any other month because of the proximity of summer and swimsuits, according to a recent survey by market-research firm NPD.

IT’S GETTING DIMMER:
Astronomy on Earth could be impossible in 40 years because of pollution from aircraft exhaust trails and climate change, according to UK expert Gerry Gilmore of Cambridge University’s Institute of Astronomy. He claims that if comparatively cheap air travel continues, in 40 years it won’t be worth having telescopes on Earth any more. We can either give up flying or astronomy, he says, we can’t have both.
– BBC News

THE BULL SHEET 03.07.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [50] Bryan Cranston, LA CA, TV actor (‘Hal’ on “Malcolm In The Middle” 2000-06)

1964 [42] Wanda Sykes, Portsmouth VA, stand-up comedian/movie actress (“Monster-in-Law”)

1971 [35] Rachel Weisz, London UK, movie actress (Oscar-“The Constant Gardener”, “The Mummy”)

1973 [33] Sebastien Izambard, Paris, France, pop singer (Il Divo-“All By Myself”, “Unbreak My Heart”)

1980 [26] Laura Prepon, Watchung NJ, TV actress (‘Donna’ on “That ‘70s Show” 1998-2006)/movie actress (Karla Homolka in “Karla”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
“Cereal Day”, a day share in the delights of crunchy ‘n crispy breakfast cereals. To celebrate this momentous day, let’s play a game! We’ll name a cereal and you decide if it’s real or fake …
• “Cinna-Crunch Pebbles” [REAL]
• “Soggies” [FAKE . From the comic strip “For Better Or For Worse”.]
• “Peanut Butter Toast Crunch” [REAL]
• “Fu Man Chews” [FAKE. From the movie “Nightmare on Elm Street”.]
• “Plucky’s Unlucky Worms” [FAKE. Featured on TV’s “Tiny Toon Adventures”.]
• “Kellogg’s Rice Bubbles” [REAL]
• “Super Sugar Slaps” [FAKE. From the comic strip “Jump Start”.]
• “Post Crispy Critters” [REAL]
• “Quacker Sugar Quacks” [FAKE. From the 2002 movie “Jimmy Neutron – Boy Genius”.]
• “Weedies” [FAKE. From the comedy film “Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood”.]
• “Fruity Marshmallow Krispies” [REAL]

“Stop Bad Service Day”, honoring companies that foster loyalty by providing top-notch service. Ask listeners for stories of unusual and exceptional customer service. If it turns out to involve a sponsor – all the better!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1996 [10] 20th Century Fox sues an Australian brewery for distributing ‘Duff Beer’, stealing the name from the brand favored by ‘Homer’ on “The Simpsons”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1876 [130] Alexander Graham Bell patents the ‘Telephone’, and 3 days later makes 1st phone call (unfortunately gets a busy signal)

1911 [95] 1st ‘Coin-Operated Locker’, invented by Willis Farnsworth of Petaluma CA (thereby giving movie bad guys a place to stash their loot)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Aunts Day
[Wed] International Women’s Day
[Wed] Plant a Flower Day
[Wed-Mar 12] 12th “US Comedy Arts Festival” (Aspen CO)
[Thurs] Panic Day
[Thurs] Employee Appreciation Day
[Fri] Salvation Army Day
[Sat] Worship of Tools Day
[Sat-Mar 19] The Brier (Regina SK)
This Week Is … Cheerleading Week
This Month Is … Listening Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

BS INTERVIEW:
The 2006 “Nenana Ice Classic” is underway, the annual competition in Alaska to guess the exact time of the spring break-up of ice on the Tanana River. Since 1917, a 26-foot tripod has been built on the frozen river and tickets sold predicting times and dates that it will sink. The grand prize is now near $300,000. Someone who invests in a $2-prediction is going to strike it rich, likely around the end of APRIL (April 28th in 2005).
PHONER: 907.832.5446
NET: http://www.nenanaakiceclassic.com

BS ‘THIS OR THAT?’
You run down the list rapid-fire while your guest picks one from each pair …
• An inch taller or an inch shorter?
• Simon or Paula?
• A blonde, fit, dumb spouse or a red-haired, ugly, highly-intelligent spouse?
• White chocolate moccachino grandé supremo or a big ol’ glass of orange juice?
• Talk like ‘Yoda’ or breathe like ‘Darth Vadar’ … for the rest of your life?
• Be the giver or be the taker?
• NBA or NHL?
• Win $500 for yourself or win $5 million for charity?
• Would you rather that your mother didn’t shave her legs or that your father did?
• The ability to fly or the ability to be invisible?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which has been an official emblem of Canada the longest?
a. The Beaver [As of 1975.]
b. The Maple Tree [Did not become official until 1996.]
c. Colors Red & White [CORRECT. Proclaimed in 1921.]
– “Canadian Almanac & Directory”

Which was the first brand of coffee sold in sealed tin cans in the United States?
a. Chase & Sanborn [CORRECT, in 1879.]
b. Maxwell House
c. Uncle Charlie’s Real Eye-Opener

BS BLATANT JOKE:
Anna Nicole was 25 before she found out cars had front seats.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average woman will have 1.5 of THESE in her lifetime.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Blind dates.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Time flies when you don’t know what you’re doing.

 


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