Tuesday, March 5, 2019 Edition: #6406

Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Ryan Seacrest, who’s been a presence on the red carpet for years, has revealed that he got kicked out of this year’s Oscars. On Friday’s “Tonight Show”, Seacrest said that he assumed that because he was inside the theater, he would be able to take a seat and enjoy the show along with the other celebs, but according to him, “the ushers and stage managers come and say, ‘Mr. Seacrest, your car is ready.’ I said, ‘No, I just essentially opened the Oscars by saying it’s coming up next.’ That’s when he was informed that there was no ticket in his name.  Seacrest says, “They sent me home to watch on television like everyone else,”
(Seacrest….OUT!!”)
-ETCanada
★ Steven Spielberg, who has been a familiar voice in the outcry against Netflix films receiving equal treatment at the Oscars as theatrical releases, will speak about the issue at the next Academy meeting. The legendary director has spoken out in the past about his belief that Netflix films should only be eligible for Emmys, and not Oscars. It’s unclear what specific rule changes he would advocate for.
-MSN
★ Dwayne Johnson is all about giving back to his parents. He shared a touching story on his Instagram, explaining that he told his father, Rocky, that he wanted to buy him a new house. Johnson wrote that his dad “couldn’t believe it, he was speechless…It’s a big weekend, he’s gonna go look at properties.” Over the holidays, The Rock also surprised his mother, Ata, with a new home, and shared her emotional reaction on his Instagram a few days later.
-MSN
★ After two live-action theatrical films and countless DVD releases, Scooby-Doo and his mystery-solving crew are headed back to the big screen. Warner Bros. is officially moving forward with a new animated Scooby-Doo movie, adding a few famous voices to the groovy gang and pairing them with other well-known Hanna-Barbera properties. Reports are that “Jane the Virgin” star Gina Rodriguez will play the new Velma, while MacGruber’s Will Forte will play Shaggy. Tracy Morgan will also lend his voice to the film, which is slated for a May 2020 release.
-VanityFair

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Samuel L. Jackson, Camila Mendes, X Ambassadors
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Liam Hemsworth, Jessica Williams, Rob Gronkowski, Ronnie Milsap featuring Little Big Town (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Kit Harrington, Amber Tamblyn, Hozier
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): James McAvoy, D’Arcy Carden, Janelle James, Jason McGerr (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Isla Fisher, Chiwetel Ejiofor, the Jonas Brothers
• “Conan” (TBS): Daniel Sloss
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Denise Richards, Karamo Brown
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, Lionel Richie, Ryan Seacrest
• “The Talk” (CBS): Avril Lavigne
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Julianne Moore, Brandon Micheal Hall
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Alec Baldwin (R)
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Twenty of this season’s most unforgettable women return to confront each other and Colton
• “The Voice” (NBC): The Blind Auditions, Part 4
• “Hoarders” (A&E): Season 10 premiere
• “The Toe Bro” (A&E): The Toe Bro sees a former ballet dancer who longs to rid herself of painful ingrown toenails so she can dance again

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Prodigy — singer Keith Flint was found dead at his Essex, UK home on Monday.  He was 49.  The band’s Instagram page indicated he died by suicide. The Prodigy’s last six albums all went to number one in the U.K., and 1997’s “The Fat of the Land” hit #1 in the U.S.
• Lady Gaga – A fan started a Twitter scam to get ‘Shallow’ to number one. The scam suggests that Starbucks will give “Shallowbucks,” a free beverage voucher, to anyone who sends them a screenshot of them listening to the song. Starbucks has been scrambling to shut down the rumours of the promotion.
• The Voice — star Janice Freeman has unexpectedly passed away at age 33. Known for her big, gospel-style voice, Freeman had battled through a series of health issues throughout her life including, lupus, cervical cancer and meningitis.  Freeman was on Miley Cyrus’ team during “The Voice” season 13.
• Spice Girls – Baby Spice Emma Bunton and Jade Jones are finally getting married after over 20 years together. She was seen heading into a London register office where she and the 40-year-old chef gave notice of intent to marry, meaning they now have 12 months to make things formal. They have 2 children together.
• Michael Jackson – Britain’s BBC Radio 2 has apparently stopped airing Michael Jackson songs ahead of the airing of the “Leaving Neverland” documentary there on March 6 and 7. The film focuses on testimony of two men who both claim that Jackson sexually abused them when they were children.
• Kings of Leon — have ditched their manager of 20 years, and signed with Irving Azoff, the music mogul who has managed the Eagles for 40 years. The aggressive Azoff, who is 5-foot-3, was dubbed the “Poison Dwarf” by his enemies and is said to have inspired Randy Newman to write ‘Short People’. Azoff’s roster also includes Bon Jovi and Steely Dan, and younger artists, such as Harry Styles, Mark Ronson and Meghan Trainor.
• Steve Miller – says that he wrote his hit ‘Rock’n Me’ as a way to “kick Pink Floyd in the butt” when playing right before them at the enormous 1975 Knebworth festival near London. Miller says that when the moment came, the song successfully “ripped the joint up” and he then thought, “Maybe we oughtta record this one?”
• The Beatles — Visitors to a Beatles-themed cafe in Liverpool will soon be able to play the world’s first and only official Beatles pinball machine.  The games feature nine tunes from the Fab Four, plus iconic introductions by Ed Sullivan, who introduced America to the band in 1964.
• Kacey Musgraves – was joined onstage by Brooks & Dunn at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium on Friday for a rendition of their song ‘Neon Mon’, which the two acts re-recorded together for the forthcoming Brooks & Dunn duets album “Reboot”.
• Blake Shelton – says he hopes to have new music out by spring.  He says that after 16 seasons of “The Voice,” he can’t help but be inspired by “hearing so much different music and meeting so many different artists and seeing how they do it.”

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Vox Lux” (R-Rated, Drama): After singing at a memorial service, Celeste transforms into a burgeoning pop star.  But her meteoric rise to fame dovetails with a personal and national loss of innocence, consequently elevating the young powerhouse to a new kind of celebrity. (Natalie Portman, Jude Law)
• “The Vanishing” (R-Rated, Mystery/Suspense):  Three lighthouse keepers on the remote Flannan Isles find a hidden trunk of gold, leading to their mysterious disappearance. (Gerard Butler, Peter Mullan)
• “The Mercy” (Not Rated, Drama):  The story of amateur sailor Donald Crowhurst and his solo attempt to circumnavigate the globe. (Rachel Weisz, Colin Firth)
• “The Clovehitch Killer” (R-Rated, Horror):  A picture-perfect family is shattered when the work of a serial killer hits too close to home. (Charlie Plummer, Dylan McDermott)
• “Among The Shadows” (Not rated, Mystery/Suspense):  A private investigator must unravel the murder of her uncle while keeping the secret that she is a descendant from a line of werewolves. (Lindsay Lohan, Charlotte Beckett)

DRIVING WITH MY ‘BIG BROTHER’:
As much as we all agree that anyone who drives faster than we do is most definitely a maniac, we also probably can all agree that this might not be the best way to enforce speed limits.  There is a plan in Europe to require the installation of a type of ‘black box’ in all vehicles which would not only monitor your speed, but actually physically prevent you from speeding.  The Intelligent Speed Assistance system, it is essentially a GPS device that cuts your engine’s power when you exceed the speed limit.  The plan is to include this device in all new cars sold in Europe as soon as 2022.  No word on how local police departments might deal with the corresponding decrease in speeding ticket revenue…
(And there’s not even a “Lamborghini exception”?)
(I have a feeling that there will be a lot of guys who “know a guy” who can deal with these things…)
(I have a feeling that used cars will really become a seller’s market in a few years!)
-Driving

SWEDISH CHOCOLATE:
IKEA is known for a few things.  Some Assembly required.  Only one way out. Meatballs at the restaurant.  And flat-pack furniture.  If you are a fan of that last one, you’ll LOVE this:  For Easter, IKEA is selling a flat-pack chocolate bunny.  The VÅRKÄNSLA chocolate bunny, which costs just under $4 US for 90g of chocolate, is available now in UK stores.  We’re not sure if they will become available in North America.  Much like some of IKEA’s other products, flat-pack Easter bunnies are designed to be assembled by the customer. Fortunately, no tools are required. No skills are required either. They are assembled from just three interlocking pieces of chocolate.
(But can you put it together before it melts in your hands?)
(A bit early on this, aren’t they?  I mean, it’s not even Valentines D…wait…Oh, no!!)
(This is one thing that IKEA sells where you WANT extra pieces left over!!)
-ThisisInsider

HANDY SPRING BREAK TRAVEL TIPS:
(From a viral post by frequent flyer and creative producer Taha Khan . . .)
➠ Never check bags.  Pack for max 10 days & do laundry. (of course, for Spring Break, you really only need your swimsuit…)
➠ Jetlag hits you on the second night. Use melatonin.
➠ When you get off the plane, speed walk to passport control. You save a minute of queuing for every person you pass.
➠ Cabin pressure & lack of movement is bad for blood circulation. Regular stretches & movement prevents aching.
➠ Cabin air is dry. Moisturise skin & lips often.
➠ Watching films dries your eyes quickly, you’ll feel rough afterwards. Podcasts, music & audiobooks are better.
➠ Ask for upgrades at the gate every time. Sometimes they’re really cheap.
➠ Noise cancelling headphones are essential.
➠ Neck pillows aren’t worth the hassle. Eye masks are worth it.
➠ Always have a powerbank. Don’t count on inflight power or entertainment.
➠ Snacks. M&Ms or Skittles are good. Orange Juice is magic. It makes you feel alive again. Bring your own, theirs is sugar water.
➠ Bring anti-bacterial wipes for the table.
➠ Passports are pocket sized. Keep it on you from start to finish.
➠ All electronics should be in your backpack. Repacking your suitcase after an inspection is a nightmare.
(And never ask for an aisle seat by the window…)
-BestLife

DID YOU KNOW?
In the 1980s, A&W tried to compete with McDonald’s “Quarter Pounder” by selling a 1/3-pound burger at the same price.  The product failed because most customers thought a ¼-pound was bigger.
-WhattheFFacts

BS CHRONOMETER 03.05.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [64] Penn Jillette, Greenfield MA, Las Vegas magician (Penn & Teller)/TV personality (“All-Star Celebrity Apprentice”, “Penn & Teller Tell a Lie”)

1963 [56] Joel Osteen, Houston TX, religious leader (televangelist pastor who is seen by millions on broadcasts from Lakewood Church, a megachurch in Houston Texas)

1970 [49] John Frusciante, NYC, rock guitarist (ex-Red Hot Chili Peppers-‘Scar Tissue’, ‘Give it Away’)

1974 [45] Kevin Connolly, Patchogue NY, TV actor (“Entourage” 2004-11)/movie actor (“He’s Just Not That Into You”, “The Notebook”)

1974 [45] Eva Mendes, Miami FL, movie actress (“The Place Beyond the Pines”, “Fast & Furious” films)/with Ryan Gosling since 2011

1975 [44] Niki Taylor, Fort Lauderdale FL, model (Model-turned-reality-TV-participant known for her appearances on “Celebrity Apprentice” and “Make Me a Supermodel”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cheese Doodle Day”, honoring the snack food (aka “Cheezies”) made with cornmeal that has been puffed, baked, and coated with cheddar cheese. Morrie Yohai of The Bronx NY invented the cheese doodle in the 1940s

• “Multiple Personalities Day”, saluting the adage ‘We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other.’ Can people with multiple personalities deduct themselves as dependents on their income tax?

• “Absinthe Day”, also known as The Green Fairy, The Green Goddess or The Green Lady, the drink was popular with artists and writers as far back as the 18th century, perhaps because of its rumored hallucinogenic effects. Studies have shown that absinthe’s psychoactive properties (alcohol aside) were exaggerated. (But it DOES make the heart grow fonder…)

• “Cinco de Marcho”, marks the beginning of the season to train the liver for St. Patrick’s Day, a holiday known for drinking that is just 12 days away. Cinco de Marcho is a drinking day for those who don’t often drink, and want to be prepared to drink on the upcoming holiday.

• “Unique Names Day”, part of “Celebrate Your Name Week”, when we’re encouraged to salute people we know who have an unusual name. Let’s appreciate them for going through life without seeing their names on retail items like ready-made key chains, etc.  (***See “BS Phone Starter”, below***)

• “Pancake Day”, also known as “Mardi Gras”, aka “Fat Tuesday” or “Pancake Tuesday”, the last big blow-out before Lent begins.

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Ash Wednesday
[Wed] Dentist’s Day
[Thurs] Nametag Day
[Thurs] National Cereal Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [37] John Belushi of SNL and The Blues Brothers dies of drug intoxication after being injected with a mixture of cocaine and heroin, known as a speedball, at age 33

2015 [04] Harrison Ford crash-lands his 1942 Ryan Aeronautical ST3KR airplane onto a golf course in California.  He suffers a broken pelvis, broken ankle and other injuries

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1983 [36] Michael Jackson’s ‘Billie Jean’ hits #1 for the first of seven weeks

2004 [15] The Sunday edition of Britain’s “Daily Mail” lists Paul McCartney’s worth at $1.3 billion (oddly, his current net worth is listed at $1.2 billion)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [25] ‘World’s Largest Milkshake’ is created, at 1,955 gallons (Nelspruit, South Africa)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The oldest sibling is usually the most well-behaved.
✓ Madagascar got its name from Marco Polo, who mistakenly thought he landed in Mogadishu, then misspelled the name of the city.
✓ “Bird” was originally spelled “brid.”
✓ A two-inch oyster can filter up to 50 gallons of water a day.
✓ Elephant polo is a popular sport in India, Nepal and Thailand.
✓ According to NASA, the Moon smells like gunpowder.
-WhattheFFacts

BS MY BIGGEST WORRIES IN THE 1990s:
• Losing at Pokemon
• Misplacing my address book
• That if I don’t make it home before the streetlights come on, I’ll be getting an earful on my walkie talkie
• That the DJ will talk when I’m trying to record a song on cassette
• That mom won’t accept the charges when I phone home
• That call waiting will interrupt my dialup AOL connection
• Who will take care of my Tamogochi if I die???
• That my dad will discover that all the movies that he had ever recorded are slowly but surely being taped over whenever New Kids on the Block appear on TV
• That my dad will discover that all his booze is slowly but surely being replaced by water
• Y2K
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS VAGUE MOVIE TITLES:
• The Lord of the Thing You Wear Around Your Finger
• The Good, The Bad, and He Has a Wonderful Personality
• Between 3:05 and 3:50 to Yuma
• Dopamine, Norepinephrine and Serotonin, Actually
• Driving Whatsherface
• Mrs. Doubtful
• When That Guy Met That Girl
• Breakfast at Some Chick’s Place
• There Could Possibly Be Some Blood
• Not Bad But Not Great Fellas
• The Devil Wears Those Expensive Shoes Women Like
• The One About That Big Boat That Sank
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most unique, unusual or flat-out humorous real name for a person that you have heard of?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Adult fans of the animated television series “My Little Pony” are known as what?
a. Bronies [CORRECT]
b. Cronies
c. Filly fans
d. Looneys

• Each of a classic Rubik’s Cube’s six faces is covered by how many stickers?
a. six
b. nine [CORRECT]
c. twelve
d. two
-Trivia.fyi

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m not sure if it’s the BEST thing about Switzerland, but the flag is definitely a big plus.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  The average age a person stops doing THIS is 31.  What is it?
Answer:  Having birthday parties

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t try to make your children grow up to be just like you, or they may do it.