Friday, March 1, 2013        Edition: #4932

Deja Moo!

Today at a pre-trial hearing in Los Angeles regarding charges of reckless driving and lying to police, Lindsay Lohan’s attorney will claim the starlet has had an ‘epiphany’ (as if she could even spell that) . . . At Britain’s “NME Awards 2013”, the London 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremony has beaten David Bowie’s surprise comeback to win ‘Music Moment Of the Year’, and the Rolling Stones have been selected ‘Best Live Act’ (apparently only people 60-plus qualify for these) . . . 44-year-old Latin singer Marc Anthony has struck up a new romance with Chloe Green, the 21-year-old daughter of British retail tycoon Sir Philip Green (BS translation: Top that J-Lo!) . . . Screen actor Nicolas Hoult (“Jack the Giant Slayer”) is the subject of a substantial photo spread in the new edition of “GQ” (hard to believe he’s the awkward kid from Hugh Grant’s 2002 rom-com “About a Boy”) . . . Renaissance woman Tina Fey, who successfully co-emceed the Golden Globes with Amy Poehler, has let it be known that she’ll never host the Academy Awards (dammit, we might even watch beyond 5 minutes!) . . . And “The Bachelor” hunk Sean Lowe, who is about to propose to one of the final 2 women on the upcoming season finalé (ABC), has reportedly offered to give the gift of life by donating his sperm – to his own sister! (well actually to her surrogate, but still creepy all the same).

• “All-Star Celebrity Apprentice” (NBC) – Sunday the 13th season premiere reintroduces previous players making a comeback, including Trace Adkins, Gary Busey, Marilu Henner, Penn Jillette, Lil’ Jon, Bret Michaels, and Bill Rancic.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Bonnie Raitt (“Slipstream”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Walk the Moon (“Tightrope”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Trace Adkins (“10 Great Songs”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Prince performs 2 songs, but it’s not clear whether he’ll perform new material or some classics.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Dave Grohl & The Sound City Players. Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Mariah Carey (“American Idol”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Comedian Kevin Hart hosts; musical guest Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (“Thrift Shop”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight The Mavericks (“In Time”).

• Alabama Shakes – Tonight they kick off a North American headline run with a show at the Knitting Factory in Boise ID.
• Allman Bros Band – Their March residency at NYC’s Beacon Theatre begins tonight. The classic rockers will play a series of consecutive night back-to-back shows through March 16th.
• Boyz II Men – Tonight they begin a Las Vegas residency that sees them playing weekend shows at the Terry Fator Theatre in The Mirage, a total of 78 shows through the end of the year.
• Green Day – Billie Joe Armstrong has opened up to “Rolling Stone” about his stint in rehab, saying he was dealing with years of alcohol and prescription drug abuse. Quote: “I’d wake up in a strange house on a couch. I wouldn’t remember how. It was a complete blackout.”
• Mumford & Sons – “Babel” remains at #1 on the album sales chart for a 5th non-consecutive week, according to Nielsen SoundScan. That marks the longest run at #1 for an album by a duo or group since 2004.
• No Doubt – After touring the world last year promoting their comeback, “Push & Shove”, they’ve headed back into the studio to work on a follow-up album.
• One Direction – Video posted online reveals that someone threw a pair of Keds sneakers at Harry Styles’ groin during a recent concert. Unfortunately, only one connected. (And no, it wasn’t Taylor Swift.)
• Stone Temple Pilots – A one-sentence announcement released by their publicist this week simply states: “Stone Temple Pilots have announced they have officially terminated [frontman] Scott Weiland.” No further details are offered.

• “Jack the Giant Slayer” ( Fantasy Adventure ): Director Bryan Singer’s modern day fairytale in which a young farmer leads an expedition into a kingdom of giants in hope of rescuing a kidnapped princess. Stars Nicholas Hoult in his first leading Hollywood role. Co-stars Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor, Bill Nighy.
• “The Last Exorcism Part II” ( Horror Thriller ): As ‘Nell’ tries to build a new life after the events of the first movie (2010), the evil force that once possessed her returns with an even more horrific plan. Stars Ashley Bell, Spencer Treat Clark, Andrew Sensenig, Judd Lormand. Odds are this is nowhere near the last exorcism for poor ‘Ms Sweetzer’.
• “Phantom” ( R-Rated Thriller ): The haunted captain of a Soviet submarine holds the fate of the world in his hands. Forced to leave his family behind, he is charged with leading a covert mission cloaked in mystery. Ed Harris and David Duchovny star as Russians with radically different thoughts on whether the Earth should remain a solid.
• “Stoker” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): After a girl’s father dies, an uncle that she never knew existed comes to live with her and her unstable mother. She comes to suspect this mysterious, charming man has ulterior motives yet becomes increasingly infatuated with him. Stars Mia Wasikowska, Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode, Dermot Mulroney.
• “21 and Over” ( 14A Comedy ): In this youth comedy, a promising medical student celebrates his 21st birthday with his best friends on the night before his big exam. Stars Miles Teller, Justin Chon, Jonathan Keltz, Sarah Wright. Think “The Hangover”, only in college. Partially shot in China.

The President of Uruguay, José Mujica, clearly lives a lot differently from most other world leaders. He’s shunned the luxurious house that the Uruguayan state provides for its leaders and opted to stay at his wife’s farmhouse, off a dirt road outside the capital, Montevideo. The President and his wife work the land themselves, growing flowers. Only 2 police officers and a 3-legged dog keep watch outside. On top of this austere lifestyle, Mujica donates about 90% of his monthly salary to charity. (Gee, think the guy will get re-elected?)
–  BBC News

A recent survey of more than 2,000 people finds that most of them think the following factors are most likely to enhance their happiness, listed in order of priority …
5. More traveling.
4. More time with friends.
3. Continued (or better) health.
2. Earning double what they do now.
1. More time with family.
– Ipsos MORI Research

That bunch of celery you bought at the grocery store? It might turn into an eternal supply of celery if you have any gardening luck at all. A fresh food website recommends cutting off the bottom end of the whole bunch and planting it. The roots and stalks start regrowing immediately, and it will grow a brand new top to be cut and used. After re-growing celery, you can cut and plant the bottom again for more new growth from the top. (Set the bottoms of green onion stalks in a half-glass of water and achieve a similar yield.)

If you’re able to sit and rise from the floor with just one hand – or better yet, no hands – you likely have a lower risk of death from any cause, according researchers in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. They tested adults ranging from age 51-to-80 on their ability to perform the task. At the end of the decade-long study period, participants who needed additional support to get up from the floor proved overwhelmingly more likely to die, no matter their age, gender, or body mass index. (Time for an in-studio experiment! It ain’t easy.)

A new study finds that intelligence is not the key factor in how a student gains math skills. No, it seems motivation and study habits are more likely the key factors in math achievement. The study was conducted by researchers at the University of Munich and the University of Bielefeld, who investigated how students’ motivation, study skills, and intelligence jointly predicted long-term growth in math achievement over 5 years. Intelligence did prove to have a strong link to achievement, but only at the beginning of study. (Like most things, you gotta want it!)

• Backward-facing barbs make porcupine prickles hard to remove.
• Female fish fancy males who flirt with other males.
– BBC Nature


1944 [69] Roger Daltrey, London UK, classic rock singer (The Who-“Who Are You” [theme from “CSI”], “Baba O’Riley” [“CSI: NY”])

1954 [59] Ron Howard, Duncan OK, movie director (“Frost/Nixon”, Oscar-“A Beautiful Mind”)/movie & TV producer (“Arrested Development”)/former TV actor (‘Ritchie’-“Happy Days” 1974-84, ‘Opie’-“Andy Griffith Show” 1960-68)

1967 [46] George Eads, Fort Worth TX, TV actor (‘Nick Stokes’ on “CSI” since 2000)

1969 [44] Javier Bardem, Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, Spain, movie actor (“Biutiful”, 2008 Oscar-“No Country for Old Men”)

1973 [40] Ryan Peake, Brooks AB, rock guitarist (Nickelback-“Photograph”, “How You Remind Me”)

1987 [26] Ke$ha (Sebert), LA CA, pop singer (“We R Who We R”, “Tik Tok”)

1994 [19] Justin Bieber, Stratford ON, pop music phenomenon (“Never Say Never”, “Baby”)

Pop-rock singer Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi) is 51; Movie actor Daniel Craig (“Skyfall”) is 45; Pop-rock singer Chris Martin (Coldplay) is 36; NFL QB Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers) is 31.

Movie actress Miranda Richardson (“Harry Potter”) is 55; Country singer Brett Warren (Warren Bros) is 42; Movie actress Jessica Biel (“Valentine’s Day”) is 31; Rock guitarist Joe Garvey (Hinder) is 29.

• “Chalanda Marz” in Switzerland, when they drive away Winter by ringing bells and cracking whips. Let’s try that and see if it works! [SFX].
• “Dress in Blue Day”, an initiative to raise awareness about colon cancer, to celebrate survivors, and to help patients in need during “Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month”.
• “Employee Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the first Friday in March. Hey, you’re so appreciated … you get to keep your job!
•  “Horse Protection Day”, to raise awareness about the abuse, neglect, homelessness, and slaughter of horses and to promote adoption events to help unwanted horses find a home.
• “Peanut Butter Lovers’ Day”, a good day to have phone contestants try a tongue twister with a mouthful of smooth or crunchy.
• “Pig Day”, honoring the ‘most intelligent and useful of domesticated animals’. Studies show pigs are much smarter than horses (… but harder to ride).
• “Plan a Solo Vacation Day”, to inspire singles to spice up their lives by checking out solo travel options. What’s the biggest thing that would dissuade you from traveling on your own?
• “St David’s Day” in Wales. The Welsh celebrate their patron saint by taking a leek … and wearing it.

• “Dr Seuss Day”, celebrating the 1904 birth of Theodor Seuss Geisel in Springfield MA, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of children’s books that include “The Cat In the Hat,” “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!” and many other classics. He died in 1991.
• “Old Stuff Day”, either a celebration of antiques or perhaps … dating a cougar?

• “Iditarod Sled Dog Race”, the 41st running of ‘The Last Great Race on Earth’ that treks 1,150 miles through Alaskan wilderness from Anchorage to Nome. Sixty 16-dog teams compete.
• “International Sister Cities Day”, initiated by Sister Cities International to promote the idea of a broad-based, officially-approved, long-term partnership between 2 communities in 2 countries.
• “I Want You to Be Happy Day”, a day to show love, care and concern for others … for once. (Tomorrow is ‘Get Real, Loser, I Was Only Kidding Day’.)
• “Namesake Day”, kicking off “Celebrate Your Name Week”, a day to research the origin of your name and reflect on whomever you may be named after.

2010 [03] After a failed primetime experiment, Jay Leno returns as host of NBC-TV’s “The Tonight Show” (thereby bumping off Conan O’Brien, who later ends up at TBS)

1994 [19] At the annual Grammy Awards, Whitney Houston wins ‘Best Female Pop Vocalist’ and ‘Record Of the Year’ for “I Will Always Love You”

1969 [44] Britain’s Prince Charles is officially invested ‘Prince of Wales’ (starting to seem like a lifetime appointment, isn’t it?)

[Mon] Courageous Follower Day
[Mon] International Scrapbooking Industry Day
[Mon] March Forth-Do Something Day
[Mon] Grammar Day
[Mon] Toy Soldier Day
[Wed] Oreo Cookie Day
This Week Is … Eating Disorders Awareness Week
This Month Is … International Boost Self-Esteem Month


• Your definition of a small town is one that doesn’t have a lake.
• You’ve ever stood in the middle of the street with a hockey stick and yelled ‘CAR!!!’
• You eat ‘chocolate bars’ instead of ‘candy bars’. You drink ‘pop’, not ‘soda’.
• You know what it means to be on ‘pogey’.
• You’ve been frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
• You understand the sentence: “Could you please pass me a serviette, I’ve spilled my poutine.”
• You dismiss all beers under 5% as ‘for children and the elderly’.
• You feel a pang of guilt whenever you pronounce the last letter of the alphabet ‘zee’ instead of ‘zed’.

Everything has a purpose … except possibly cockroaches and ukeleles.

To whiten your teeth, which should you  dip your toothbrush in and then brush vigorously?
a. Mashed Potatoes
b. Mashed Bananas
c. Mashed Strawberries [CORRECT]
d. Iron Filings
– “800 Household Hints & Tips”

☎ In order, who are the 3 most annoying celebs?

Question: On average, we throw away about 20% of THIS.
Answer: Each tube of toothpaste.

A real sense of humor is what makes you laugh when someone takes your best joke and improves it.

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