Friday, March 10, 2017 – Edition: #5929

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★ Welcome back, ‘George Smiley’. After a hiatus of 25 years, author John le Carré is again writing about one of the world’s most famous fictional spies. Viking Publishing has confirmed that le Carré’s new novel “A Legacy of Spies” is coming out on September 6th. According to the publisher, the novel follows how ‘Smiley’ and his peers are under new scrutiny about their Cold War years with British intelligence. The novel also refers back to the le Carré classics “The Spy Who Came In from the Cold” and “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”. 85-year-old le Carré last wrote about ‘Smiley’ in the 1991 novel “The Secret Pilgrim”.
★ Gabourey Sidibe says she had weight-loss surgery last year after being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. In an excerpt from her upcoming memoir, the Oscar-nominated actress (“Precious”) says she underwent the bariatric procedure in May 2016. The 33-year-old “Empire” star says she didn’t have the surgery to be beautiful but to improve her health and to move with more ease. Surgery “wasn’t the easy way out”, she says, adding that she has changed her eating habits and is now working with a trainer.
★ And Jennifer Lopez is now reportedly dating former baseball player Alex Rodriguez. The 47-year-old singer recently enjoyed a brief fling with musical collaborator Drake, but is now said to have struck up a romance with 41-year-old A-Rod, who counts Madonna, Kate Hudson, and Cameron Diaz among the notches on his belt. J-Lo is mother to 9-year-old twins Max & Emme from her marriage to Marc Anthony, while Alex shares Natasha (12) and Ella (8) with ex-wife Cynthia Scurtis.

• “Canadian Screen Awards” (CBC) – Sunday the annual awards from the Academy of Canadian Cinema & Television are handed out at Toronto’s Sony Centre for the Performing Arts. Comedian Dave Chappelle presents the ‘Icon Award’ to Gilbert Rozon (“Just for Laughs”).
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Jennifer Lopez (“Shades of Blue”).
• “Kids’ Choice Awards” (Nickelodeon) – Saturday WWE wrestler-turned-actor John Cena hosts the annual kid-voted entertainment awards from Los Angeles. Justin Timberlake leads nominations with 4. The event’s signature is ‘sliming’ guests by pouring green liquid on them.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Caspian (“Dust & Disquiet”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Tonight My Morning Jacket’s Jim James (“Eternally Even”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Panic! At the Disco (“Death Of a Bachelor”). Rerun.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Today Jennifer Lopez again.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Scarlett Johansson (“Ghost In the Shell”, out March 31st); musical guest Lorde (“Melodrama”, due this Summer).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Alessia Cara (“Know-It-All”). Rerun.
• “The Vampire Diaries” (CW/CTV2) – Tonight the series finalé after 8 bloody seasons. Former star Nina Dobrev returns as ‘Elena’ one last time.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today Train (“A Girl, a Bottle, a Boat”).

• Black Sabbath – They’ve made their retirement official by posting a simple obituary on Facebook. Ozzy Osbourne and his bandmates played their final show last month in their native Birmingham, England and now have confirmed the group is ‘dead and buried’.
• Bush – Today their 7th studio album, “Black & White Rainbows”, is being released. It’s their first new album in 3 years, since 2014’s “Man On the Run”.
• Charli XCX – Today she releases her new mixtape “Number 1 Angel”, featuring 10 new tracks. She’s currently working on her 3rd full studio album.
• Dierks Bentley – Job one is to co-host the ACM Awards, but he has a couple other things on his to-do list when he’s in Las Vegas for the show on April 2nd. Namely, some pool time and some casino time. Quote: “I’m from Arizona, so I love the desert out West, the dry heat.”
• Ed Sheeran – Fellow singer-songwriter James Blunt says the story that Britain’s Princess Beatrice cut Ed’s face with a ceremonial sword while staging a mock knighting at a party last November is total BS. According to Blunt, the partygoers made up the bizarre story to cover up the fact that Ed was drunk, messing around, and cut himself.
• George Michael – His family are keeping details about his funeral under wraps so uninvited guests don’t turn up at the ceremony. His send-off has been delayed 10 weeks, awaiting the just-released coroner’s report. Though it’s not known when, he’s expected to be buried alongside his mother at Highgate Cemetery in north London.
• Little Big Town – They’re projected to top next week’s ‘Billboard Top Country Albums’ chart with “The Breaker”. Sam Hunt stays #1 on the ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart with “Body Like a Back Road”.

• “Kong: Skull Island” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): In the latest iteration of the big monkey movie, a team of explorers and soldiers travel to an uncharted island in the Pacific, unaware that they are crossing into the domain of monsters, including the mythic ‘Kong’. Stars Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L Jackson, Brie Larson, John C Reilly.
• “Raw” ( R-Rated Horror ): When a young vegetarian undergoes a carnivorous hazing ritual at veterinarian school, an unbidden taste for meat begins to grow in her. Stars Garance Marillier, Ella Rumpf, Rabah Nait Oufella, Laurent Lucas. Reviews say there are some crazy prosthetics in this French-made film, and the final scene is said to be both sickening and satisfying.
• Opening in limited release: “The Dark Below” (Thriller); “The Other Half” (Romantic Drama); “The Ottoman Lieutenant” (War Drama); “Personal Shopper” (Mystery Thriller); “The Sense Of an Ending” (Drama); and “Uncertain” (Documentary).

• The device at the intersection of 2 railroad tracks to permit the wheels and flanges on one track to cross or branch for the other is called a ‘frog’.
• A building in which silence is enforced, like a library or school room, is referred to as a ‘silentium’.
• In early France, the distance a man could walk while smoking 1 pipeful of tobacco was called a ‘pipee’.
• Compulsive shopping is clinically known as ‘oniomania’.
• An easily remembered melody is called a ‘tune’.

We’re all having less sex than adults were 20 years ago. A new study from San Diego State University and Widener University has found that adults, on average, are having sex 7 times less per year than adults in the early 1990s, and 9 times less than adults in the late 1990s. Researchers surveyed some 27,000 people. The data was collected between 1989 and 2014, asking participants how often they’d had sex during the previous 12 months. It’s been found that the decrease applies across all races, genders, and regions, and regardless of whether or not the respondents have children. (Should it be about quantity … or quality?)

A recent survey asks 2,000 adults about honesty in their relationships. Surprisingly, around 25% of respondents don’t fully trust the person they share their lives with. Most common lies among couples …
• “Yes, I’m listening.”
• “I only had 1 drink.”
• “I didn’t see your text/call.”
• “I was out with friends.”
• “I’m saving the clothes you bought me for a special occasion.”
• “I really like your parents.”
• “I didn’t put that dent/scratch on the car.”
• “I like your friends.”
• “It wasn’t me that broke it.”
• “I had an orgasm.”
– “Metro”

‘Kermit the Frog’ is left-handed,


1949 [68] Barbara Corcoran, Edgewater NJ, businesswoman/TV personality (“Shark Tank” since 2009)

1963 [54] Rick Rubin, Long Beach NY, iconic music producer (AC/DC, Adele, Ed Sheeran, Jay Z, Josh Groban, Justin Bieber, Kanye West, Metallica, etc)

1963 [54] Jeff Ament, Havre MT, rock bassist (Pearl Jam-“The Fixer”, “Jeremy”)

1964 [53] Prince Edward (Edward Antony Richard Louis Windsor), London UK, QEII’s #3 son/Earl of Wessex & Viscount Severn/wed to Sophie Rhys-Jones

1971 [46] Jon Hamm, St Louis MO, TV actor (“Mad Men” 2007-15)/movie actor (“Minions”, “The Town”)

1972 [45] Timbaland (Timothy Mosley), Norfolk VA, music producer (Jay Z, Justin Timberlake, Madonna, Nelly Furtado, Rihanna, Usher, etc)

1977 [40] Robin Thicke, LA CA, pop singer (“Blurred Lines”, “Sex Therapy”)

1983 [34] Carrie Underwood, Muskogee OK, country singer (“Something In the Water”, “Before He Cheats”)

1984 [33] Olivia Wilde, NYC, movie actress (“Love the Coopers”)/TV actress (“House MD” 2007-12)

1987 [30] Emeli Sandé, Sunderland UK, pop singer (“”Beneath Your Beautiful” w/Labrinth, “Read All About It” w/Professor Green”)

Media billionaire Rupert Murdoch (News Corp) is 86; TV actor Terrence Howard (“Empire”) is 48; Movie actor Johnny Knoxville (“Elvis & Nixon”) is 46; Rock musicians Joel & Benji Madden (Good Charlotte) are 38.

Actress-singer Liza Minnelli (“Cabaret”) is 71; Oldies singer-songwriter James Taylor (“Fire & Rain”) is 69; TV actor Jason Beghe (“Chicago PD”) is 57; Movie actor Aaron Eckhart (“The Dark Knight”) is 49; TV actress Jaimie Alexander (“Blindspot”) is 33.

• “International Bagpipe Day”, to celebrate the world’s many bagpipes and piping traditions.
• “International Day of Awesomeness”, a day to recognize that people are awesome every day, frequently don’t realize it, and their awesomeness is rarely recognized.
• “Mario Day”, saluting anyone with that name because the abbreviated date (MAR-10) sort of spells ‘Mario’. Famous Marios include TV chef Mario Batali, NHL Hall of Famer Mario Lemieux, TV personality Mario Lopez, and Super Mario Bros of videogame fame.
• “Middle Name Pride Day”, a day to stand up and be proud … Gladys.

• “Genealogy Day”, highlighting the study of ancestry and family histories. Got any deadwood in your family tree? Search your surname alphabetically here and find out …
• “International Fanny Pack Day”, celebrating the strap-on pouch that is definitely useful but definitely not in style. What do you need one for? To put your ‘stuff’ in.
• “Purim” begins at Sunset, often considered the most cheerful and colorful of all the Jewish holidays. It celebrates the victory of the Jews over oppression.
• “World Plumbing Day”, initiated by the World Plumbing Council to celebrate the important role plumbing plays in the health & safety. (To celebrate, wear your pants at half-mast.)
• Worship of Tools Day” (aka “Tool Appreciation Day”), celebrating men’s inexplicable fascination with high-priced gizmos. (What tool have you bought, then never used?)

• “Daylight Saving Time” in North America begins at 2 am. The annual ‘Spring Forward’ is now programmed right into computers, phones, and other electronic devices. The semi-annual clock reset is also touted as a good excuse for “Check Your Batteries Day”, when you test and/or replace smoke alarm batteries.
• “World Day Against Cyber Censorship”, initiated by Reporters Without Borders and Amnesty International in 2009.
• “Worm Moon”, the Full Moon of March. As the temperature begins to warm and the ground begins to thaw earthworm casts appear, heralding the return of the robins.

2008 [09] Dapperly dressed in a classic black tuxedo, Leonard Cohen appears on stage in NYC for his induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame along with Madonna, John Mellencamp, Dave Clark Five, and The Ventures

2009 [08] Actress Mandy Moore (“This is Us”) weds singer-songwriter Ryan Adams in a quiet ceremony in Savannah GA (divorced 2016)

2003 [14] During a concert in London UK Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines says she’s “ashamed the president of the USA is from Texas” (pretty much shutting down their career)

2007 [10] 75 days after his death, legendary soul singer James Brown is finally laid to rest as ‘The Godfather of Soul’ is entombed at an undisclosed location

2014 [03] World’s largest banana company is created as Irish fruit firm Fyffes merges with US company Chiquita to form ‘ChiquitaFyffes’

2015 [02] A jury awards Marvin Gaye’s estate $7.3 million, finding the Robin Thicke song “Blurred Lines” is too similar to Gaye’s 1977 hit “Got to Give It Up”

[Mon] Fill Our Staplers Day
[Mon] Napping Day
[Tues] International Day of Action for Rivers
[Tues] Organize Your Home Office Day
This Week Is … Women in Construction Week
This Month Is … Cheerleading Safety Month


• Aries – The boss will make you squirm today. Fortunately, you will show remarkable talent at squirming.
• Taurus – Excellent day to do something new with bean curd.
• Gemini – Today you’ll experience the urge to go cavorting in the woods. Don’t get talked into buying any cavorting supplies though … they’re only needed by professionals.
• Cancer – You will answer the phone today by shouting, “You bloated sack of protoplasm!” Unfortunately, it’s not your friend calling. It’s your mother-in-law.
• Leo – No pressure but your love life depends entirely on tonight’s dinner.
• Virgo – Today is the second-to-last day of the 19th segment of your life. Reflect on that.
• Libra – Today you will dredge something up from the past but after a moment’s reflection you will toss it back.
• Scorpio – Beware! If you’re walking along and the background music changes to a kind of eerie theme and the volume begins to increase … turn around and go the other way!
• Sagittarius – Today you’ll discover a trick to make those long meetings seem more interesting. Imagine that everyone else has a ferret clinging to their head.
• Capricorn – A good time to develop multiple personalities. That way you won’t be laughing at you, you’ll be laughing with you.
• Aquarius – Several people will tell you moose jokes today. This is their subtle way of telling you you’re having a bad hair day.
• Pisces – Your next fortune cookie will say, “See? We told you it tastes like chicken!”

☎ Do you feel different about George W Bush these days? He seems self-effacing, downright humorous, and extremely engaging by comparison to the current US president, no?

There is only one problem with your face … I can see it.

Question: The average woman begins to regret THIS after 70 minutes.
Answer: Wearing high-heels.

Procrastination is the flaw most of us keep putting off curing.

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