Friday, March 11, 2011        Edition: #4460
Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

Producers of troubled Broadway musical “Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark” have officially postponed opening night a 5th time, now aiming for early Summer following ‘significant & exciting revisions’ (most notably, digging a hole and pouring in more money) . . . This week thieves managed to steal a $200,000-plus Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder belonging to celebrity chef & TV personality Guy Fieri (“Minute to Win It”) by lowering themselves from the roof into the showroom of the San Francisco CA dealership where it was parked (a new version of “Gone In 60 Seconds” – “Minute to Boost It”) . . . Charlie Sheen’s ‘TeamSheen’ is seeking a ‘social media intern’ and so far has received more than 70,000 applications from 181 countries (basically, someone to run his Twitter and Facebook pages – for free) . . . Mel Gibson has managed to avoid jail time by accepting a plea bargain and pleading guilty to battery against former galpal Oksana Grigorieva (compared to Sheen, Mel’s starting to seem sane) . . . Forget those rumors Jeff Probst is taking over as co-host of “Live With Regis & Kelly” – he’s just re-upped his “Survivor” contract for another 2 years (they could save money on logo changes by finding another guy named ‘Regis’) . . . “Red Riding Hood” actress Amanda Seyfriend seems to admit she’s had Botox in the new issue of “Elle” magazine (she’s only 25!) . . . And infamous White House party crasher Michaele Salahi has been kicked off “Celebrity Rehab With Dr Drew” (VH1) after it was determined – she doesn’t have an addiction to anything (uh, what about fame?).

• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight The Dears (“Degeneration Street”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Michael Franti & Spearhead (“The Sound of Sunshine”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight rapper Yelawolf (“Radioactive”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Raekwon (“Shaolin vs Wu-Tang”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Tonight Naughty By Nature (“Anthem Inc”).
• “Rascal Flatts: Nothing Like This” (ABC) – Saturday their “Nothing Like This”tour is showcased in this special that features appearances by Justin Bieber & Natasha Bedingfield. The concert portion was taped in St Paul MN.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Zach Galifianakis (“The Hangover 2”); musical guest Jessie J sings “Price Tag” (“Who You Are”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight John Legend (“Wake Up!).

• Aaron Lewis – The Staind frontman has scored a #1 album with his debut country disc, “Town Line”. It’s bumped Lady Antebellum’s long-running “Need You Now” from atop the country chart.
• Adele – “21” remains the #1 selling album overall for a 2nd straight week, according to Nielsen SoundScan. It’s the year’s best-selling album so far.
• Aerosmith – Steven Tyler continues to promise they will record new material this Summer, tweeting that he and guitarist Joe Perry have ‘smoked the peace pipe’.
• Journey – They’ll release the new album “Eclipse” on May 24th, then tour with Foreigner and Night Ranger beginning in July.
• Lady Gaga – She’s reportedly cut promotional ties with Target stores as she disagrees with the retail chain’s policy of political donations and how they affect the LGBT community.
• LeAnn Rimes – She & her home-wrecker boyfriend Eddie Cibrian are said to be planning their own reality show. But does anyone really care about them?
• Randy Houser – This week the “Boots On” singer’s band & crew lost their equipment and personal belongings in a bus fire prior to a performance in Isle Of the Palms SC. Fortunately, nobody was injured.

• “Battle: Los Angeles” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): As an alien invasion threatens Earth, a veteran Marine staff sergeant leads his new platoon into battle with an uncommon enemy. A visual effects-heavy bonanza starring Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Ne-Yo.
• “Jane Eyre” ( PG-13 Drama ): In this spooky re-telling of Charlotte Bronte’s beloved novel, a mousy governess who softens the heart of her employer soon discovers that he’s hiding a terrible secret. Stars Mia Wasikowska (“Alice in Wonderland”), Michael Fassbender, Jamie Bell.
• “Mars Needs Moms” ( PG Disney Animated Comedy ): A young boy named ‘Milo’ gains a deeper appreciation for his mom after Martians abduct her. Voice cast includes Seth Green, Joan Cusack, Dan Fogler. Based on the book by “Bloom County” cartoonist Berkeley Breathed.
• “Red Riding Hood” ( PG-13 Horror Fantasy ): Set in a medieval village that’s haunted by a werewolf, Amanda Seyfried plays a young girl who falls for an orphaned woodcutter, much to her family’s displeasure. Co-stars Lukas Haas (“Inception”), Gary Oldman.

This week Charlie Sheen was given his walking papers from “Two-and-a-Half Men”. Can it survive without its star? Other shows that fired cast members or asked them to quit …
• Mackenzie Phillips, “One Day At a Time” (1975-84) – The show managed to go on for 4 seasons afterward.
• Cindy Williams, “Laverne & Shirley” (1976-83) – Left in anger during the 8th and final season.
• Suzanne Somers, “Three’s Company” (1977-84) – The show continued 3 more seasons after she was axed due to outrageous salary demands.
• Isaiah Washington, “Grey’s Anatomy” (2005-present) – Fired in 2006 due to a gay slur against co-star TR Knight. He’s disappeared from show biz; the show continues.
• Damon Wayans, “Saturday Night Live” (1975-present) – Fired during the 1986 season for changing his character to a flamboyant gay man without telling anyone before the live show. Went on to star in his own sitcom (“My Wife & Kids” 2001-05); returned to host “SNL” in 1995.
• Lisa Bonet, “A Different World” (1987-93) – Jettisoned from the show when she became pregnant via then-husband Lenny Kravitz. The show lasted 5 more seasons with Jasmine Guy as the lead.

Research has shown that parents feel ‘calm’ significantly less often than people who don’t live with young children. Parents are also angrier and more depressed than non-parents … and each additional child makes them angrier. Couples who choose not to have kids have also been shown to have more satisfying marriages than those with kids. Now new research by University of Waterloo psychologists Richard Eibach & Steven Mock suggests why many parents fool themselves. It seems that idealizing the emotional rewards of parenting helps parents rationalize the financial costs of raising children. (We say it’s simpler: You either like kids or you don’t.)

Thanks to volcanic activity, geothermal energy is plentiful in Iceland, so it’s considering running a cable under the ocean to Europe to sell excess electricity. Depending on the destination country, the cable would be between 1,200-and-1,900 km long (745-1,180 miles), making it the world’s longest undersea electrical cable. The project aims for the export of 5 terawatt-hours (5 billion kilowatt-hours) each year. At current power prices, that corresponds to between 250-and-320 million euros ($350-448 million) in annual exports, enough to cover the consumption of 1.25 million European households. (High voltage cable in water … about as smart as using your toaster in the tub?)
– “Popular Science”

Why do some of us love listening to sad music, while others loathe it? David Huron, a professor at Ohio State University’s School of Music & Center for Cognitive Science, thinks it’s due to the consoling effects of prolactin, a hormone that’s usually associated with pregnancy and lactation but that the body also releases when we’re sad or weepy. People who can’t stand sad music, he says, aren’t getting that prolactin rush … they just feel blue. (So, by logic, it would seem new moms most like heartbreaking tunes?)
– “Social Studies”

5. “Alone Again, Naturally” – Gilbert O’Sullivan.
4. “Tears In Heaven” – Eric Clapton.
3. “Last Kiss” – J Frank Wilson (or Pearl Jam).
2. “The End Of the World” – Skeeter Davis.
1. “He Stopped Loving Her Today” – George Jones.

• Scientists now believe elephants are in a league with chimpanzees and dolphins as being among the world’s most intelligent animals.
– “Discovery News”
• 20% of people who dump off their dogs at animal shelters adopted those dogs from animal shelters to begin with.
• A new study has found that domestic chickens display signs of empathy, the ability to ‘feel another’s pain’ that is at the heart of compassion.
– “Daily Telegraph”


1931 [80] Rupert Murdoch, Melbourne, Australia, media magnate (FOX-TV, News Corp)/estimated net worth clirca $8 billion

1965 [46] Wallace Langham, Ft Worth TX, TV actor (‘David Hodges’ on “CSI” since 2003)

1968 [43] Lisa Loeb, Bethesda MD, pop singer (“I Do”, “Stay [I Missed You]”)

1969 [42] Terrence Howard, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Iron Man”, “Hustle & Flow”)

1971 [40] Johnny Knoxville (Phillip Clapp), Knoxville TN, movie actor (“Jackass” movies, “Dukes of Hazzard”)/TV personality (“Jackass” 2000-02)

1979 [32] Benji & Joel Madden, Waldorf MD, twin brother pop/rock musicians (Good Charlotte-“Girls &  Boys”, “Lifestyles Of the Rich & Famous”)/Holly Madison’s boyfriend & Nicole Richie’s baby-daddy respectively

Actress-singer Liza Minnelli (“Cabaret”) is 65; Folk singer James Taylor (“You’ve Got a Friend”) is 63; Metal bassist Steve Harris (Iron Maiden) is 55; Movie actor Aaron Eckhart (“Battle: Los Angeles”) is 43.

Movie actor William H Macy (“Fargo”) is 61; TV actress Dana Delaney (“Desperate Housewives”) is 55; Rock bassist Adam Clayton (U2) is 51; Rapper Common (“Love Of My Life”) is 39; Movie actor Emile Hirsch (“Into the Wild”) is 26.

• “Middle Name Pride Day”, so stand up and be proud … Alphonse and Gertrude.
• “Romeo & Juliet’s Wedding Day”. According to Shakespeare, the all-time champion lovers did the deed on this date in 1302. It’s their 709th anniversary!
• Worship of Tools Day” (aka “Tool Appreciation Day”), celebrating men’s inexplicable fascination with high-priced gizmos. What tool have you bought, then never used?
• “World’s Largest Rattlesnake Round-Up”, the 52nd annual celebration in Sweetwater TX, with live rattlesnakes on display, snake-meat to eat, snake products for sale, a parade, a cook-off, and the ‘Miss Snake Charmer Pageant’ … as well as lots of snake herding, of course.

• “Genealogy Day”, highlighting the study of ancestry and family histories. Got any deadwood in your family tree? Search your surname alphabetically here and find out …
• “Girl Scout Day”, celebrating the creation of the first Girl Scout group in America on March 12, 1912 by Juliette Gordon Low in Savannah GA, who gathered together a troop of 18 girls and taught them how to milk a cow, how to tie up a burglar, and the complicated art of boiling water.
• “Maple Syrup Saturday”, a celebration of the running of the sap from which they make liquid gold. About 75% of the world’s supply is produced in the Canadian province of Québec.

• “Daylight Saving Time” in North America begins at 2 am. The semi-annual clock reset is touted as a good excuse for “Check Your Batteries Day”, when you test and/or replace smoke alarm batteries.
• “Ear Muff Day”, celebrating the first ‘Earmuffs’ patented by one Chester Greenwood of Farmington, Maine on this day 134 years ago in 1877.
• “International Fanny Pack Day”, celebrating the strap-on pouch that is definitely not a ‘murse’. What do you need one for? To put your earmuffs in.
• “Open an Umbrella Indoors Day”, when celebrants are encouraged to challenge the old superstition and note whether any bad luck befalls them. The superstition can be traced to the 11th century BC.

1927 [84] The electric-powered ‘jukebox’ is introduced by Seeberg

1993 [18] Elvis Presley is officially declared dead (again) by San Francisco Municipal Court Judge George T Choppelas, 16 years after he died (and constant rumors that he’s still alive)

1997 [14] Paul McCartney is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II to become ‘Sir Paul’

2002 [09] England’s Plymouth University becomes the 1st school in the world to offer a degree in ‘surfing’

[Mon] Napping Day
[Mon] Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2011 Induction (NYC)
[Mon] Potato Chip Day
[Mon] Pi Day
[Tues] True Confessions Day
[Tues] Ides of March
[Tues] International Bosses Day Off
This Week Is … Art Week
This Month Is … Play the Recorder Month


• Government Worker
• Act Naturally
• Resident Alien
• Sanitary Landfill
• Passive Aggression
• Plastic Glasses
• Tight Slacks
• Pretty Ugly
• Working Vacation
• Religious Tolerance
(Open up the phones for listeners to add more.)

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Another film in the “Tomb Raider” franchise has been announced for 2013. Former star Angelina Jolie won’t be involved, so who should be the new ‘Lara Croft’? (We like Betty White.)

Test your strategy against a computer in the traditional ‘Rock-Paper-Scissors’ game here …

You live in Monaco, what are you called?
a. A Monacoan.
b. A Monegasque. [CORRECT]
c. A Monicker.
d. Stinking filthy rich. [ALSO CORRECT]

Today’s Question: More men than women say that receiving THIS would most likely coerce them into bed.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Flowers. (Or anything else for that matter.)

The problem with getting a life is making the payments.

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