March 14 2018

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Wednesday, March 14, 2018 – Edition: #6176

Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Iconic fashion designer Hubert de Givenchy has passed away at the age of 91. He famously designed the iconic black dress worn by Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” Givenchy’s label has transcended the decades and is still a powerhouse today. “Black Panther” star Chadwick Boseman wore a custom suit by the late designer at The 2018 Academy Awards.
-TheBlast
★ Following the success of Disney’s 2016 presentation of  ‘The Little Mermaid Live in Concert at the Hollywood Bowl’, they’ve announced that they are is bringing another favorite to the concert hall.  ‘Beauty and the Beast in Concert’ will feature an all-star cast assembled to perform the film’s classic tunes, including Zooey Deschanel as Belle, Kelsey Grammer as Lumiere, Taye Diggs as Gaston, Rebel Wilson as LeFou, Jane Krakowski as Mrs. Potts, and The Voice alum Anthony Evans as Beast.  ‘Beauty and the Beast in Concert at the Hollywood Bowl’ will be performed on May 25 and May 26.
-EW
★ Rose McGowan has been unsuccessful in her bid to have her charge of felony cocaine possession dismissed. A judge has ruled that her lawyers didn’t have enough evidence to back up her claim that she was targeted by producer Harvey Weinstein. The suggestion was that Weinstein may have been somehow involved with the drug bust. Her case will go forward and she’s due in court later this month for a preliminary hearing.
-TheBlast
★ Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth are developing a show based on ‘Beverly Hills 90210′. The project is currently in development with CBS and would featuring Spelling and Garth portraying exaggerated versions of themselves. The series doesn’t have a title yet, but Garth and Spelling reportedly attended development meetings for the project at the CBS lot in Los Angeles on Friday. In addition to ‘90210′, the two also worked together on the 2014 show, ‘Mystery Girls’.
-MSN
★ Lena Dunham says that she has a team of people who try to stop her from making controversial Twitter posts. The ‘Girls’ creator admitted it has become a running joke that she’s caused chaos with controversial comments on social media, which she has then backtracked and issued public apologies for, but she says that it’s important to keep trying and ”growing”.
(Know anybody else who could use a team like that?)
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Will Forte, Vanessa Bayer, the Dirty Heads
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Alicia Vikander, Jim Sturgess, Kali Uchis featuring Tyler the Creator
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Paul Giamatti, Brandi Carlile
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ricky Gervais, Lena Waithe, Luke Mitchell, Brendan Canty
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Tony Hale
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Jeff Goldblum, Sebastian Maniscalco, Nothing But Thieves
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kandi Burruss, Gina Neely
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Lena Waithe
• “The Talk” (CBS): Josh Duhamel, Jaymes Vaughan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Alicia Vikander, Skeet Ulrich
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Sean Hayes, Nick Robinson, Dua Lipa
• “Survivor: Ghost Island” (CBS): The castaways get physical during a classic water challenge, and a pair of players on the outs try to shake things up.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Katy Perry – American Idol contestant Benjamin Glaze may not have made it through the audition process, but he did end up with his very first kiss. The 19-year-old cashier told the judges that he had yet to experience his first kiss. At Perry’s invitation, Glaze went in for a peck on the cheek, Perry turned her head at the last second so he could plant a kiss on her lips. (Who’s gonna be the first to say, “He kissed a girl, and he liked it”?)
• Beyoncé – she and Jay-Z have announced dates for their ‘On the Run II’ stadium tour….again. Fans noticed last week that a July 30th Philadelphia show was accidentally posted online. The tour kicks off June 6 in Cardiff, U.K., and yes, there is still a Philly show on July 30.
• Jason Derulo – his new song, ‘Colors’ is the official anthem of the 2018 FIFA World Cup. He says he wants the song to celebrate diversity, “and be a part of the amazing energy that sports fans around the world give to their teams.”
• Kim Wilde – the 80s pop star has revealed the bizarre reason behind her recent musical comeback: an alien encounter. She says seeing a UFO in her backyard inspired her to make her new album. (Any mushrooms growing back there?)
• Jack White – has always been fond of using vintage and obscure musical gear. But for his new album, ‘Boarding House Reach’, he got a Van Halen-branded guitar and it changed his views on things. He says “If people only knew how hard it was on these (old guitars) I’ve been using)…because I didn’t know!”
• Alice Cooper – has announced a summer tour of North America in support of his latest ‘Paranormal’ album. The newly announced shows begin Aug. 3 at the Wisconsin State Fair and wrap up in York, PA.
• Paul Simon – has announced that the third and final leg of his ‘Homeward Bound’ farewell tour will culminate in an appropriate place: His hometown of New York City. Newly announced dates begin on Sept. 5 in New Orleans, and include stops in Florida, Atlanta, Washington D.C., Newark, N.J. and Pittsburgh. There will be two shows at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 21-22, then a concluding New York City concert to be held at an as-yet-unconfirmed venue.
• Brad Paisley – says that when he first came to Nashville, he worked at a music store and “talked a lot of people out of buying expensive guitars”. He says he’d tell dads not to spend $1,000 on a child’s first guitar. Eventually, he was fired.
• Charlie Worsham – he and his longtime girlfriend Kristen Anne Korzenowski are engaged. The pair made the announcement on Sunday with an Instagram selfie — featuring Korzenowski’s brand-new ring. Worsham wrote: “The Good Lord has blessed me so much in this life, but never more than when He put this amazing woman in it.”

TECHNICAL BS:
• Amazon: It seems they have come up with a solution to Alexa’s random laughing problem. Alexa was freaking-out some owners of the voice-activated digital assistant when she would seemingly burst out in laughter, completely unprompted. It turns out that Alexa was mistakenly hearing the phrase “Alexa, laugh” even when that’s not what was said. Amazon has changed the phrase necessary to make Alexa laugh to, “Alexa, can you laugh”, which should help. In addition, Alexa will no longer respond to that question with simple laughter but instead will say, “Sure, I can laugh” followed by laughter.
(Good. Because I got the feeling that she wasn’t laughing WITH me…)
• Twitter: Have you always wanted one of those blue checkmarks on your Twitter account? Soon you too may be able to get verified, according to Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey. In 2009 when the verification process first started, the marks were given out to politicians, celebrities, journalists, and “accounts of public interest.” Last year, Twitter stopped verifying users because numerous divisive individuals were verified, which caused an uproar online. But soon, Twitter will verify users again, and there are plans to include everyone.
(That’s if this info came from Jack Dorsey’s verified account…)
• This baseball season, you’ll be able to watch MLB games on FACEBOOK! Facebook will stream 25 afternoon games throughout the season, usually on Wednesdays. The first game will be on April 4th between the Philadelphia Phillies and New York Mets. Facebook is believed to have paid between $30-$35 million for streaming rights to the games.
(Good idea, because if I’m going to sit on my ass and drink beer for 4½ hours, and I’m not at the ballpark, I’ll be in front of the computer anyway!)
(So will the ‘home button’ be called ‘home plate’ now?)
Brobible, Bloomberg

COMMON TERMS AND THEIR FAKE COUNTERPARTS:
Although both are now considered acceptable, the correct term is ‘Daylight Saving Time’, rather than ‘Daylight SavingS Time’. Here are some others:
➠ “Expresso” vs. “Espresso”: It is more obvious in print, but which do you WANT to say? The word is espresso. Often, when people don’t listen closely to a word, they use other common words surmise how the unfamiliar word is spelled. So, when people hear espresso, they think express.
➠ “Regardless” vs. “Irregardless”: Although irregardless is in the dictionary, even they say it’s really not a word. Regardless means “in spite of,” as in “the base jumper leaped off the building regardless of the consequences.” As for ‘irregardless’, it is considered nonstandard because of the two negative elements ir- and -less. It was probably formed on the analogy of such words as irrespective, irrelevant, and irreparable.
➠ “Sneak” vs. “Snuck”: The past tense of sneak is sneaked, so why have people stuck with snuck since the 1800s? Even though it may be incorrect, this is another word included in the dictionary because of it’s common usage. (And it’s kinda fun to say….irregardless!)
➠ “Sherbert” vs. “Sherbet”: The word is sherbet, (shur-bit) or as the dictionary says, “a frozen fruit-flavored mixture, with milk, egg white, or gelatin added.” (Fun Fact: If you type “sherbert” into Dictionary.com’s search box, it redirects to the proper sherbet.
➠ “Intensive” vs. “Intents”: The accurate phrase is “for all intents and purposes”, yet people will frequently say “for all intensive purposes.” The cause of the confusion is rooted in this phonetic similarity. This is called an eggcorn: “a word or phrase that is misheard reformed into a new word or phrase.” By the way, ‘intents’ and ‘purposes’ are essentially synonyms, so the phrase is redundant anyway (Plus those two words mean the same thing).
➠ ““Misunderestimate” vs. “Underestimate”: Are you really gonna go there?
-Dictionary.com

TRAITS PEOPLE FIND ATTRACTIVE, ACCORDING TO SCIENCE:
➢ A Sense of Humor: Women are more attracted to partners with a good sense of humor. One researcher theorizes that this has to do with a sense of humor being an indication of higher intelligence. (Perfect opening line: “Knock-Knock”.
➢ The Pitch of Your Voice: Women with high-pitched voices give off the impression of youth and even appear thinner to men. Men with a deeper voice appear more masculine and attractive to women.
➢ Owning a Pet: We’ve all heard that people with pets seem more attractive than those without. In one study, a subject was asked to approach 240 women and ask for their number – half the time with his dog, half the time without. When he was with the dog, he got three times as many numbers as he did without it. (Plus, I can’t help but look handsome when I’m beside my drooling bulldog!)
➢ Having a Beard: A study showed that women viewed heavy stubble as the most attractive when compared to clean-shaven or heavily bearded men. (Men did not see the same attraction in heavily-stubbled women…)
➢ Socializing in Groups: One study showed that people look more attractive when they’re seen socializing in a group. (Note to self: Make some friends.)
➢ Being Nice: What our parents have been telling us for years was right: Just be nice! A study showed that people with kind traits were more likely to be rated as attractive.
➢ Financial Responsibility: 69% of people find financial responsibility to be either very or extremely important when choosing a partner, placing it ahead of sense of humor and physical attractiveness. (And for me…just about as likely…)
(Strangely, nothing here about a massive collection of Star Wars memorabilia….)
-MentalFloss

BS CHRONOMETER 03.14.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [85] (Sir) Michael Caine (Maurice Micklewhite), London UK, movie actor (“Kingsman: The Secret Service”, “The Dark Knight Rises”)

1933 [85] Quincy Jones, Chicago IL, music producer (Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ and ‘Bad’)/Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, 2013)

1948 [70] Billy Crystal, Long Beach NY, movie actor (“When Harry Met Sally,”, “City Slickers”)/9-time Academy Awards host/stand-up comedian

1958 [60] Prince Albert II of Monaco (Albert Alexandre Louis Pierre de Matignon-Grimaldi), Monte Carlo, Monaco, Monaco’s 32nd ruler

1970 [48] Kristian Bush, Knoxville TN, country singer-guitarist-mandolin player (Sugarland-‘Stuck Like Glue’, ‘It Happens’)

1986 [32] Jamie Bell, Billingham UK, TV actor (“TURN: Washington’s Spies” 2014-2017)/movie actor (“Fantastic Four”, “Billy Elliot”)

1988 [30] Steph (Stephen) Curry, Akron OH, pro basketball player (Golden State Warriors – 2-time MVP, 2-time champion, 5-time all-star, NBA scoring champ – 2016, AP Athlete of the year – 2015)

1986 [32] Este Haim, LA CA, rock bassist-guitarist (Haim-‘If I Could Change Your Mind’, ‘The Wire’)

1994 [24] Ansel Elgort, NYC, movie actor (“Baby Driver”, “The Fault in Our Stars”) COMING UP…”Billionaire Boys Club”, 2018

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Ask a Question Day”, an annual observance with the goal of improving our knowledge and lives by asking more and better questions. Such as …
– If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
– If an ambulance is on its way to save someone and it runs over someone else, does it stop to help?
– What do you say when someone says you’re in denial, but you’re not?
– How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

• “Potato Chip Day”, honoring North America’s favorite snack food. It was invented by chef George Crum on this day in 1853 at a resort in Saratoga Springs NY after an uppity diner complained the potato slices were too thick. (What’s the best flavored potato chip? Worst?)

• “Save a Spider Day”, a day to appreciate arachnids and the webs they weave.

• “World Pi Day”, as in March 14 or 3/14 or 3.14 … get it? It honors the magic number for circles that expresses the ratio between radius and circumference.

• “Genius Day”, celebrated annually on the anniversary of the 1879 birth of Albert Einstein. It was Einstein who said, “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Ides of March
[Thurs] World Consumer Rights Day
[Fri] Everything You Do is Right Day
[Fri] Lips Appreciation Day

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2011 [07] Neil Diamond is finally inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame along with Alice Cooper, Tom Waits, Dr John, Darlene Love, and Leon Russell

2016 [02] Sony pays $750 million to the Michael Jackson estate for the King of Pop’s half of Sony/ATV Music, the publishing company that owns rights to some 4,000 songs, including 250 Lennon-McCartney tunes

TODAY’S SPORTING EVENT . . .
1997 [21] 68 year old Gordie Howe signs AHL contract with Syracuse Crunch

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2017 [01] World’s oldest golf club Muirfield in Scotland votes to admit women as members for 1st time in 273 years

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2006 [12] U2 tops “Rolling Stone” magazine’s annual list of the year’s biggest money earners with $154.2 million, ahead of the Rolling Stones with $92.5 million

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Studies have shown that psychologically, losses are twice as powerful as gains. So winning $100 feels as good to us as losing $50 feels bad.
✓ The world’s most expensive perfume is Clive Christian No 1 Passant Guardant. It costs $143,000 for 30ml and comes in a flask studded with 2,000 diamonds.
✓ The world’s oldest astronomical clock, installed in 1410, is still in operation is in Prague.
✓ A study showed that the brains of people who exercise moderately look 10 years younger than those who don’t.
✓ Ben & Jerry learned how to make ice cream by taking a $5 correspondence course offered by Penn State, because one of them couldn’t get into medical school and the other couldn’t sell enough pottery.
-Factslides

BS CHANGE TWO LETTERS, RUIN A MOVIE:
• Bland Panther
• The Shindig (The Shining)
• Ding Dong (King Kong)
• Ferris Bueller’s Day Job
• Lord of the Bling
• Chill Bill
• The Texas Chainsaw Massage
• The Last Yeti
• Snacks on a Plane
• Farts and Furious
-Twitter

BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 25 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS THINGS FOUND DURING SPRING CLEANING:
What have you dug up around the house that you’d forgotten you had? Perhaps …
• A box of useful 5-and-a-quarter-inch floppy discs.
• Vintage hairballs, courtesy of ‘Fluffy’.
• That copy of “Purple Rain” you were sure your girlfriend stole when she left … in 1998.
• A valuable collection of fridge mold … 10 years in the fermenting.
• Your stockpile of microwave popcorn from ‘Y2K’.
• A complete set of ‘Garbage Pail Kids’ cards.
• The OTHER pink sock you thought the dryer ate.
• Or maybe just … your hatred of Spring Cleaning?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What weird bedtime ritual do you have?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If pigs could fly, I bet their wings would taste delicious.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: About 20,000 people per year injure themselves falling off one of these. What?
Answer: A treadmill

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Fortune favors the prepared mind.

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