Tuesday, March 15, 2011        Edition: #4462
Beware the Ides of Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino (“Inglourious Basterds”) is suing screenwriter-neighbor Alan Ball (“True Blood”) for failing to curb his ‘intolerably loud’ macaws, claiming the exotic birds emit ‘obnoxious pterodactyl-like screams’ which hinder his enjoyment of life and ability to work (only in Hollywood) . . . We hear there’s a new “Mad Men”-inspired TV drama that’s somewhere in development, set in 1960s TV news (imitation is the sincerest form of rip-off) . . . After manufacturing 3 rambunctious boys, famous folks David & Victoria Beckham have announced they’re expecting a girl (now they can quit trying) . . . Rumors are already heating up about a relationship between Justin Timberlake & actress Mila Kunis since they co-starred in the upcoming film “Friends With Benefits” (out July 22nd) . . . Steve Carell’s final episode on “The Office” (NBC) will air April 28th (end of an era) . . . And word has it 56-year-old Kelsey Grammar gave his new bride, 29-year-old British flight attendant Kayte Walsh, $1 million in cash as a wedding present and, perhaps even more foolhardily, married her WITHOUT a pre-nup (after being taken to the cleaners 3 times, you’d think he’d learn!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Steel Train (“Steel Train”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Zac Brown Band (“You Get What You Give”).
• “Glee” (FOX/Global) – In the show’s first-ever non-covers episode, the glee club decides to write & perform its own songs in hope of winning regionals.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Avril Lavigne (“Goodbye Lullaby”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – School of Seven Bells (“Disconnect From Desire”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Kenny Rogers (“The Love of God”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Bob Geldof (Live-Aid).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Sick Puppies (“Tri-Polar”).
• SXSW Music Festival (Austin TX) – The annual South-By-Southwest celebration of indie music runs today through Sunday. Tonight the documentary “Foo Fighters: Back & Forth” directed by James Moll premieres, chronicling the band’s entire history going back to the cassette demos Dave Grohl recorded during his time with Nirvana.
NET: http://sxsw.com
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Juanes (“PARCE”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• “American Idol 10th Anniversary – The Hits” – Today an “American Idol” best-of album is released, featuring some of the show’s most popular alumni including Adam Lambert, Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken, Daughtry, Fantasia, Kelly Clarkson and more.
• Celine Dion – Tonight she debuts her new show at The Colosseum in Caesars Palace, and recession-wracked Las Vegas is happy she’s back. Her shows generate some $115 million for the city’s coffers every year. In return she’s getting a reported $100 million for 210 shows over the next 3 years.
• Elton John – Word has it he & David Furnish’s baby son Zachary is being fed breast-milk and is using ‘proper cloth nappies’, not disposable diapers.
• Green Day – Today they release a live CD/DVD set titled “Awesome As F–-“, recorded during last year’s tour in support of “21st Century Breakdown”.
• Jason Aldean – He’s extended his “My Kinda Party” tour into the Summer. He’s averaged more than 10,000 tickets sold for the past 14 shows, a good indication he’s inching toward superstardom. His support acts are Thompson Square and Chris Young.
• Ke$ha – She’s shocked fans at a show in Australia by drinking what appeared to be blood from an animal heart, which dripped down her face and splattered across her T-shirt. Seems the stunt is set to be a regular part of her “Get $leazy” tour routine.
• Kix Brooks – He’s completed a small role in the upcoming movie “Thrift Store Cowboy”. He’ll also have a leading role in “The Last Ride”, which he’ll shoot in Arizona in May.
• Lady Gaga – She’s launched a charitable Twitter movement in the wake of Friday’s earthquake and tsunami in Japan.
• Queen – Today the Brit classic rockers’ first 5 studio albums are being re-issued in both single and double-disc versions, with the 2-disc sets including rare bonus tracks.
• Travis Barker – Today the Blink-182 drummer releases his side-project solo album “Give The Drummer Some”, featuring collaborations with The Game, Kid Cudi, Lil Wayne, Rick Ross and others. Blink-182 will release a new album sometime later this year.
• Usher – TMZ claims it’s been offered an explicit video featuring him & ex-wife Tameka Foster. It’s thought the erotic tape may have been one of the items stolen from Usher’s car in 2009.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Fighter” ( R-Rated Sports Drama ): Mark Wahlberg stars in the true story of boxer ‘Irish’ Micky Ward and his unlikely path to becoming world lightweight champion. Winner of 2 Oscars: Christian Bale for ‘Best Supporting Actor’ and Melissa Leo for ‘Best Supporting Actress’. Nominated for 5 other Academy Awards, including ‘Best Picture’.
• “Hereafter” (PG-13 Thriller): Matt Damon, Cecile DeFrance, and Bryce Dallas Howard star in director Clint Eastwood’s supernatural drama that interweaves the stories of a blue-collar American, a French journalist, and a London schoolboy, who are each touched by death in different ways.
• “The Switch” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Jennifer Aniston plays a single mother who, 7 years after giving birth, is surprised to learn that her child is not the spawn of an anonymous sperm donor but a close friend who switched it with his own batch. Co-stars Jason Bateman. Originally titled “The Turkey Baster”.
• Also released today: “Barbie: A Fairy Secret” (Animation); “Coach: The 4th Season” (Vintage TV); “Snoopy Come Home/A Boy Named Charlie Brown” (Animation); and “Waste Land” (Documentary).

YOU CAN BET ON IT:
It’s that time of year when many of us get worked up about ‘March Madness’ and place bets in office pools on who’ll win the college basketball championship. But Washington University researcher Stephen Nowlis claims you might not enjoy the games very much if you bet. His experiments suggest that, despite the popularity of office pools and online betting sites, people who make predictions (ie: bets) about uncertain events experience significantly less enjoyment while observing the events than those who don’t. (Unless your team’s killing.)
– Psychcentral.com

WHY THEY DRIVE THAT WAY:
People 65-plus are the fastest growing age group in the Western world and more seniors than ever are on the roads. Their accident rate is actually lower than young whipper-snappers, but new research at Israel’s Ben Gurion University suggests they have a narrower useful field of view, leading to limited ability to detect hazards, particularly when outside the center of their view. Because they’re slower to detect hazards – especially pedestrians – they compensate by taking their foot off the gas pedal. And that’s the reason they’re driving slower than everyone else. (Now about the blinking turn signal …)
– HealthDay.com

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 75% of teenagers have NEVER cleaned a bathroom.
• 51% of family men now regularly do the grocery shopping, compared to less than 10% in 1990.
• 48% of singles admit they creep their exes’ social network pages.
• 45% of women say they’d give up wine forever to never gain another pound; 29% say chocolate; and 5% would give up their best friend.
• 40% of homeowners say the thing they dislike about their neighbors most is their pet(s).
• 3% of us admit we have fallen asleep in the bathroom.

DYING FOR CHICKS:
A new Iowa State University study of collected data on the aging of primates around-the-world has found that almost all of them share the same basic pattern as humans: A relatively high risk of dying in infancy, a low risk of death during the juvenile years, then an increased risk of dying as aging progresses. It’s also been found that males don’t live as long as females in most cases. The lone exception is the muriqui monkey in Brazil, whose males and females have similar life spans. That may be because, unlike all other primates, muriqui males do not compete with each other for females. (Women are terminal!)
– AP

HIGH TIMES:
Famous books written while under the influence …
• “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” by Ken Kesey.
• “The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde” by Robert Louis Stevenson.
• “Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas” by Hunter S Thompson.
• “Requiem for a Dream” by Hubert Selby Jr.
• “Confessions Of an English Opium Eater” by Thomas de Quincy.
• “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac.
• “Kubla Khan” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.
• All Stephen King novels 1979-87.
– HuffingtonPost.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• According to Purdue University research grain bin accidents, a little-known peril of farming, have been on the rise. Last year, 51 Americans were engulfed by grains stored in silos and 26 died … the highest number on record.
– “Chicago Tribune”
• Students at Florida International University in Miami will wear ‘green’ graduation gowns this year, each made from 23 recycled plastic bottles.
– NYPost.com
• The fastest growing music format of 2011 so far is ‘vinyl’.
– “USA Today”

BS CHRONOMETER 03.15.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [68] David Cronenberg, Toronto ON, filmmaker (“A History of Violence”, “The Fly”)/Cannes Film Festival Lifetime Achievement Award (2006)/Order of Canada (2002)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (1999)

1963 [48] Bret Michaels (Sychak), Butler PA, classic rock singer (w/Miley Cyrus-“Nothing to Lose”, Poison-“Every Rose Has Its Thorn”)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2010, “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” 2007-09)

1968 [43] Mark McGrath, Hartford CT, pop singer (w/Shania Twain-“Party for Two”, Sugar Ray-“Fly”)/former TV anchor (“Extra!” 2004-08)

1972 [39] Mark Hoppus, Ridgecrest CA, rock musician (Blink 182-“I Miss You”, +44-“When Your Heart Stops Beating”)

1975 [36] Eva Longoria Parker, Corpus Christi TX, TV actress (‘Gabrielle Solis’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2004)/wed to NBA player Tony Parker (2007-10)

1975 [36] Will.i.am (William Adams Jr), LA CA, rapper/hip-hop musician (Black Eyed Peas-“Imma Be”, “I Gotta Feeling”)

1977 [34] Joe Hahn, Glendale CA, nu metal DJ (Linkin Park-“Numb/Encore”, “In the End”)

1982 [29] Jordan Hastings, Hamilton ON, indie rock drummer (Alexisonfire-“No Rest”, “Young Cardinals”)

1985 [26] Kellan Lutz, Dickinson ND, movie actor (‘Emmett Cullen’ in “Twilight Saga” movies)

TODAY‘S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Buzzard’s Day”, traditionally the day that the buzzards return to Hinckley OH, yet another sign of impending Spring.

• “Ides of March”, when Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. It’s also the tongue-in-cheek observance “National Brutus Day”, recognizing the fact that no matter where you work, there’s as much backstabbing, plotting, and intrigue as there was back in ancient Rome. The word ‘ides’ simply means ‘middle’, so we can have the Ides of May, the Ides of July, or even the Ides of a movie. There’s nothing unlucky about it … unless your name happens to be Caesar.

• “True Confessions Day”, a good day to open up the ‘Morning Crew Confessional’ where anonymous callers shed their guilt by admitting their outrageous actions. You can even assign penance!

• “World Consumer Rights Day”, initiated by Consumers International to promote the basic rights of all consumers, to demand that those rights are respected and protected, and to protest market abuses and the social injustices which undermine them.
NET: http://www.consumersinternational.org/our-work/wcrd/wcrd-2011

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [29] “The Great White North” album by Bob & Doug McKenzie (SCTV) is certified Gold

2004 [07] Martha Stewart resigns from the board of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia after being convicted in a stock scandal

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1999 [12] Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney, Billy Joel, and Dusty Springfield are inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1869 [142] Cincinnati Red Stockings become 1st ‘Pro Baseball Team’

1999 [12] 1st time Dow Jones Average tops the 10,000-point threshold

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1952 [59] ‘Greatest Precipitation in 24 Hours’ is set with 1869.9 mm (73.62 inches) falling at Cilaos, La Reunion Island in the Indian Ocean

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Freedom of Information Day
[Wed] Lips Appreciation Day
[Thurs] St Patrick’s Day
[Fri] Biodiesel Day
[Fri] “Limitless”; “The Lincoln Lawyer”; “Paul” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Purim begins at sundown (Jewish)
[Sat] Full ‘Worm’ Moon
[Sun] Spring arrives
This Week Is … Act Happy Week
This Month Is … Sing With Your Child Month

BULL’S BITS

In a recent poll, fully 50% of men describe themselves as ‘fat’. A few indications you might be one of them …
BS SIGNS YOU’RE OUT OF SHAPE:
• Your belt size is 32 … but you wear 3 of them.
• Random strangers come up, poke you in the stomach, and expect you to giggle.
• You butter your margarine.
• When feeling down, friends encourage your to ‘keep your chins up’.
• You’ve put your back out trying to turn off the alarm clock.
• You ask your wife to come to bed dressed like Sara Lee.
• You get winded giving the finger during morning commute.
• The sales clerk pulls you away from the jeans rack and whispers, ‘Its Sansabelt time, tubby.’
• Your ass has its own area code.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Sharing is fun, unless its your stuff.

BS WEB GOODIE:
If you think you’ve seen/heard just about everything on the web, how about ambient music mixed with live police radio? Is this art or noise? Or maybe the art of noise?
NET: http://youarelistening.to/montreal
NET: http://youarelistening.to/losangeles

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could trade places with someone for 1 week only, who would you pick?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average person spends 55 minutes each day doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Looking for things. (“Good Housekeeping”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.