Friday, March 15, 2013        Edition: #4942

It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ A Kickstarter campaign to fund a “Veronica Mars” movie, based on the CW mystery-drama series that ran 2004-07, was seeking $2 million. And it’s managed to exceed that amount quickly, in part due to rewards for pledges as low as $10 (a copy of the script) and as high as $10,000 (a part in the movie). Series star Kristen Bell says she’s thrilled it’s finally happening. (Is this the new way entertainment projects will get made?)
– “Entertainment Weekly”
✳ It’s reported that Britain’s Prince William & the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, are calling their expected royal heir ‘Our Little Grape’. As for whether the grape is a girl, sources say they have only revealed the gender to Prince Charles and her parents, not even Kate’s sister Pippa. But if baby grape is indeed female, word has it the name they’re considering is ‘Elizabeth Diana Carole’. (Is this how Drew Barrymore ended up calling her daughter Olive?)
– LaineyGossip.com
✳ “Twilight Saga” actress Ashley Greene loves living in her 2-bedroom West Hollywood CA apartment, but she also loves to shop and the small closets get filled up very fast. So what’s a girl to do? She didn’t want to move, so the 26-year-old rented a studio apartment across the street … just for her clothes. (How does this work when you crawl out of bed in the morning?)
– JanetCharltonsHollywood.com
✳ A new Amy Poehler-produced show has just received a 10-episode order from Comedy Central. It’s called “Broad City” and it’s about … well … broads in the city. Specifically, it follows a pair of BFFS named Abbi & Ilana as they explore life, love, and lipstick in the Big Apple. (After 5 seasons of “Parks & Recreation” and an ace job at the Golden Globes, Poehler’s track record is looking pretty good.)
– “Scandal Sheet”
✳ And a few quotes from Gwyneth Paltrow’s 2nd cookbook, “It’s All Good”, coming April 2nd …
“Everyone in my house is intolerant of gluten, dairy, and chickens’ eggs, among many other surprising foods.”
“Plain, full-fat sheep’s or goat’s milk yogurt is way more digestible and less allergenic than cow’s milk varieties.”
“When my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we’re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs.”
“Mealtimes should always feel happy. Not like a punishment.” (Indeed.)
– NYPost.com

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Rival Sons (“Head Down”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Blitzen Trapper (“American Goldwing”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Justin Timberlake week wraps.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Dropkick Murphys (“Signed & Sealed in Blood”).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Today Irish pop duo Jedward (“Victory”).
• SXSW (Austin TX) – The final weekend of the annual music & film festival includes today’s showcases by Depeche Mode (“Delta Machine”, due March 26th); and Green Day (their new documentaries “¡Cuatro!” and “Broadway Idiot” have already screened); Smashing Pumpkins performing Saturday; and Prince on Saturday night.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Harper Simon (“Harper Simon”).
• Ultra Music Festival (Miami FL) – Saturday the first weekend of this 2-weekend event gets underway. Performers include David Guetta, Deadmau5, Hot Chip, Matt & Kim, Skrillex, Sleigh Bells, Snoop Lion, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and many others.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bob Dylan – He’s become the first popular recording artist voted into the elite American Academy of Arts & Letters. He will be inducted in May.
• David Bowie – In Britain, his new album “The Next Day” is on course to enter the sales chart at #1 on Sunday, according to the Official Charts Company. It’s the UK’s fastest-selling album of 2013 even though Bowie has not performed live since 2006.
• Guns N’ Roses – Axl Rose is facing legal action from an Australian fan over allegations he was injured by a microphone the singer threw into the crowd during a gig in Perth last Saturday.
• Jimi Hendrix – The new collection of 12 previously unreleased studio recordings, “People, Hell and Angels”, has debuted on the ‘Billboard 200’ album sales chart at #2. Not bad for a guy who has been dead for 43 years.
• Kenny Chesney – Saturday his “No Shoes Nation Tour” plays its first stadium show at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa FL. The massive Summer tour runs through August 24th at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro MA.
• Luke Bryan – “Spring Break … Here to Party” is atop the new ‘Billboard 200’ album rankings. It’s his first #1 album on the all-genre sales chart.
• Nine Inch Nails – Trent Reznor tells Britain’s “NME” that NIN’s upcoming tour dates may include new material that’s intended to be included on a greatest hits album. Release of that project has been pushed back to 2014.
• P!nk – The RIAA has awarded her a 3rd double-Platinum award, this time for “Funhouse”, which has now sold over 2 million copies. Her career album sales now exceed 13 million units.
• Van Halen – After David Lee Roth blabbed that the band will be touring extensively in Europe later this year, manager Irving Azoff has responded to “Rolling Stone” by saying, “Nothing’s been discussed yet. Why would he say this? Hey, Dave’s a talkative guy.”

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Call” ( R-Rated Thriller ): Halle Berry stars as a veteran 9-1-1 operator who receives a call from a girl who has just been abducted. She soon realizes that she must confront a killer from her past in order to save the girl’s life. Co-stars Evie Thompson, Abigail Breslin, Morris Chestnut.
NET: http://www.call-movie.com
• “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone” ( PG-13 Comedy ): After a street magician’s stunt makes their show look stale, superstar magicians ‘Burt Wonderstone’ (Steve Carell) & ‘Anton Marvelton’ (Steve Buscemi) look to salvage their act by staging their own daring stunt. Co-stars Olivia Wilde, Jim Carrey, James Gandolfini, Alan Arkin, Jay Mohr. Cameo by David Copperfield.
NET: http://www.theincredibleburtwonderstone.com
• “Reincarnated” ( Limited Release R-Rated Music Documentary ): In his tireless campaign for cultural relevancy, rapper Snoop Dogg re-christens himself ‘Snoop Lion’, embraces Rastafarian culture and the music of Jamaica, and lets the cameras roll as he records his first reggae album with Diplo. Appearances by Bunny Wailer, Dr Dre, Damian Marley.
NET: http://snooplion.com
• Also opening in limited release: “From Up on Poppy Hill” (Family Animation); “Ginger & Rosa” (Drama); “K-11” (Drama); “The Kitchen” (Comedy); “Mindless Behavior: All Around the World” (Music Documentary); and “Upside Down” (Fantasy Romance).

INNS BANK INFO:
Hotels have always kept logs on their guests, tracking previous stays, comments and complaints, even which pay-per-view movies are ordered. What has changed in the information age is the sheer amount of data that hotels now collect on guests. For instance, a prestigious Beverly Hills hotel recently welcomed a guest of which little was known before she checked in. So staff searched her online and discovered she had a dog named ‘Bo’. When she arrived, there was a little doggy gift waiting in her room with a card saying, “Bo misses you.” (Cute? Or just plain creepy?)
– CNN.com

HOW TO CHEAT AT ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS:
Tricks to watch out for, especially when playing RPS in bars for money …
✗ Throwing Late – Not declaring a throw until after the opponent has. This is usually indicated by a forearm ‘finishing’ the throw at less than 45 degrees to the leg.
✗ Throwing the Turkey Claw – Using a clawlike hand position that’s not quite ‘Paper’, not quite ‘Scissors’ and then claiming whichever turns out to be the better option.
✗ Avoiding Preconditions – Purposely not agreeing to terms of the match until it’s underway. The cheater then tries to adjust the number of games based on the outcome of the first few. (“You’re up 2-zip? We’re playing best out-of-7, am I right?”)
– Slate.com

BANNED IN ADVANCE:
Even though ‘Google Glasses’ aren’t even available yet, a Seattle WA bar has already banned them from the establishment. Google is still developing the glasses, which can take pictures and videos, and display directions and social conversations on the lenses. But the owner of the 5 Point Café says he wants to preserve patrons’ privacy, and doesn’t want his customers to be secretly videotaped. He’s encouraging ‘butt-kickings’ for violators. The glasses will likely be available by the end of 2013. (This guy’s a guru. Put him in charge of everything!)
– UPI.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
• There are 6 facial expressions that are universal to all humans. They are: Happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, anger, and surprise.
– GreatFacts.com
• “The Walking Dead” is now TV’s biggest scripted hit among 18- to 49-year-olds.
– EW.com

BS CHRONOMETER 03.15.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [70] David Cronenberg, Toronto ON, filmmaker (“Cosmopolis”, “A History of Violence”)/Order of Canada (2002)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (1999)

1955 [58] Dee Snider, Astoria NY, classic rocker (Twisted Sister-“We’re Not Gonna Take It”)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2012)

1963 [50] Bret Michaels, Butler PA, classic rocker (Poison-“Every Rose Has Its Thorn”)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2010/2013, “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” 2007-09)

1972 [41] Mark Hoppus, Ridgecrest CA, rock musician (Blink 182-“I Miss You”, +44-“When Your Heart Stops Beating”)

1975 [38] Eva Longoria, Corpus Christi TX, TV actress (“Desperate Housewives” 2004-12)

1975 [38] will.i.am (William Adams Jr), LA CA, rapper/music producer (w/Britney Spears-“Scream & Shout”, Black Eyed Peas-“I Gotta Feeling”)

1977 [36] Joe Hahn, Glendale CA, nu metal DJ (Linkin Park-“Numb/Encore”, “In the End”)

1985 [28] Kellan Lutz, Dickinson ND, movie actor (“Twilight Saga” movies)

1988 [25] James Reimer, Morweena MB, NHL goaltender (Toronto Maple Leafs)

SATURDAY –
Movie-TV actor Victor Garber (“Argo”) is 64; Classic rock singer-guitarist Nancy Wilson (Heart) is 59; TV actress Lauren Graham (“Parenthood”) is 46; TV actor Judah Friedlander (“30 Rock”) is 44; Classic rock bassist Wolfgang Van Halen (Van Halen) is 22.

SUNDAY –
Movie actor Kurt Russell (“3000 Miles to Graceland”) is 62; TV actor Gary Sinise (“CSI: NY”) is 58; TV actor Rob Lowe (“Parks & Recreation”) is 49; Alt-rock singer Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins) is 46; TV actress Brittany Daniel (“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”) is 37; Reality TV personality Rob Kardashian Jr (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians) is 26.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Annual Coffee Cup Washing Day”, a day to give your scum-laden, germ-infested coffee mug at work its annual clean-out … whether it needs it or not.
• “Freedom of Information Day”, the 15th annual celebrating the idea that all citizens in a democracy can access government information. (After a dozen years using a lawyer.)
• “Ides of March”, when Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. It’s also the tongue-in-cheek observance “National Brutus Day”, recognizing the fact that no matter where you work, there’s as much backstabbing, plotting, and intrigue as there was back in ancient Rome. The word ‘ides’ simply means ‘middle’. There’s nothing unlucky about it … unless you’re Caesar.
• “True Confessions Day”, a good day to open up the ‘Morning Crew Confessional’ where anonymous callers shed their guilt by admitting their outrageous actions. You can even assign penance!
• “World Consumer Rights Day”, initiated by Consumers International to promote the basic rights of all consumers, to demand that those rights are respected and protected.
• “World Contact Day”, first declared March 15, 1953 by an organization called the International Flying Saucer Bureau. Today, exactly 60 years later, UFO contact groups once again unite to collectively try and make peaceful contact with extraterrestrial beings. Hello? Anybody there?

SATURDAY –
• “Lips Appreciation Day”, when we’re encouraged to do something nice for our lips … kiss somebody. (Go ahead, pick someone at random and see how large the ensuing lawsuit is.)
• “Quilting Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Saturday of March to honor the old-fashioned art-form that’s becoming lost in our hi-tech society. (Sort of a patched together celebration.)
• “St Urho’s Day”, celebrating the (tongue-in-cheek) saint who allegedly ‘cleared the grasshoppers out of Finland’. The mock holiday is observed in parts of Canada and the USA. For instance, Finnish-Americans in Rolla, North Dakota are staging their 9th annual parade.
• “World Sleep Day”, an international celebration of sleep and a call to action on important issues related to sleep, including medicine, education, and driving.
NET: http://www.worldsleepday.org

SUNDAY –
• “Clean Your Closet Day”. After all, would once-a-year kill ya? Sort it by junk, charity donations, and giveaways for family & friends. More tips on how to do it …
NET: http://www.enjoy-your-style.com/clean-out-your-closet.html
• “St Patrick’s Day”, the Irish national holiday that began as a ‘solemn religious observance’ to honor St Patrick (389-461 AD), patron saint of Ireland.
• “Submarine Day”, celebrating the sandwich also known as a ‘hoagie’ or a ‘hero’.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1989 [24] Rolling Stones sign a tour contract for $70 million, the largest to date, for their upcoming US tour

2006 [07] Remnants of Fats Domino’s 3 pianos are discovered and saved by the Louisiana State Museum while salvaging his New Orleans home, destroyed during Hurricane Katrina

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2011 [02] Beginning of the Syrian uprising

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1952 [61] ‘Greatest Precipitation in 24 Hours’ is set with 1869.9 mm (73.62 inches) of rain falling at Cilaos, La Reunion Island in the Indian Ocean

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Forgive Mom & Dad Day
[Mon] Biodiesel Day
[Tues] Chocolate Caramel Day
[Wed] Vernal Equinox (Spring arrives)
[Wed] Atheist Pride Day
[Wed] Snowman Burning Day
This Week Is … Act Happy Week
This Month Is … Sing With Your Child Month

BULL’S BITS


BS THINGS WORSE THAN BEING ALONE ON SATURDAY NIGHT:
• Dropping your last piece of gum on the floor in a public washroom.
• Not being able to press a letter on your keyboard because there’s food stuck underneath.
• Tearing off that little piece of skin that sticks up between your nail and finger, which ends up painfully ripping an even larger chunk.
• Inverted eyelash.
• Accidentally drooling while speaking.
• Finding food you forgot in the microwave 3 days ago.
• Clicking the ‘X’ instead of the tab of a video you were letting buffer.
• Ripping off a belt loop trying to pull your jeans up.
• Swallowing a pill sideways.
• Getting kicked in the face by a goat.
– Thanks to Ali Garfinkel

BS RANDOM JOKE:
On St Patrick’s Day you can save money on green beer by drinking a bottle of Scope.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Which TV show is the first you remember watching?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: When tracking one of THESE, legend has it you should listen for the sound of a shoemaker’s hammer.
Answer: Leprechaun.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.


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