Tuesday, March 15, 2016        Edition: #5647


It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Reality TV’s Mama June (June Shannon) is apparently set to go under the knife for gastric sleeve surgery. The “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” star, who originally weighed in at 365 lbs at the beginning of her TV career in 2012, has already lost 90 lbs through dieting and exercise and is now slim enough to undergo the surgical weight loss procedure. The invasive operation involves removing a portion of the stomach, inhibiting appetite by reducing it to a quarter of its original size. The 36-year-old will reportedly have her operation performed by a top Beverly Hills weight-loss surgeon later this month.
– TMZ.com
★ The stars of “Game Of Thrones” (HBO) have launched a fundraising campaign to help those affected by the refugee crisis in Europe. The actors – including Lena Headey, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Maisie Williams, and Sophie Turner – have recorded a video calling on their fans to donate to the International Rescue Committee, which helps refugees across Europe and the Middle East. Those who donate at least $10 are being entered in a draw to attend the Los Angeles premiere of “GoT” Season 6 and the afterparty.
– ContactMusic.com
★ And former heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson has put his palatial Las Vegas mansion on the market for $1.5 million. Tyson has lived on the property since 2008, but is now hoping to swap it for a bigger mansion just down the road. The 5-bedroom, 6-bath, 5,800 square-foot house has been remodeled to include a waterfall in the front entryway. While it also includes 3 fireplaces, a wine cellar, a media room, and an infinity pool, it does not have a tiger cage like the one he supposedly had in his home in the 2009 movie “The Hangover”.
– WENN.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jake Bugg (“On My One”, out June 17th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Wolf Alice (“My Love is Cool”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Bloc Party (“Hymns”); Matt Cameron (Pearl Jam).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Steve Martin & Edie Brickell (“So Familiar”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Guitar great Carlos Santana.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Coldplay (“A Head Full of Dreams”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Battle rounds continue with mentors Diddy, Gwen Stefani, Patti Labelle, and Tori Kelly.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Joey + Rory – They have the #1 album on today’s new ‘Billboard Country Albums’ list. “Hymns” has also jumped from 10 to 6 on the all-genre albums chart. Joey Feek died of cancer at age 40 on March 4th.
• Kanye West – He’s purportedly planning to dramatically increase his workload by releasing 6 fashion collections and 3 albums … per year. Quote: “No more fashion calendar, I’m going Mad Max.”
• Kendrick Lamar – He tops today’s new ‘Billboard 200′ album chart with the surprise-release new album “Untitled Unmastered”. The record features 8 tracks that did not make it onto his 2015 album “To Pimp a Butterfly”.
• Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Macklemore owns a unique X-rated painting of … Justin Bieber. It’s part of an unusual art collection that includes a velvet painting of a bald eagle and an oil painting of Drake dancing. The Bieber artwork by Dan Lacey pictures the pop star with maple syrup pouring down his chest onto a pancake balanced on his nether regions.
• Mariah Carey – Tonight in Glasgow, Scotland she embarks on her 1st European tour in 13 years. The “Sweet Sweet Fantasy” tour’s UK leg includes stops in Birmingham, Cardiff, Leeds, Manchester, and at London’s O2 Arena.
• Sara Bareilles – The “Love Song singer” has been tapped by Nickelodeon to write an original song for the  the upcoming “Spongebob Squarepants” musical. She joins a star-studded line-up of musicians penning tunes for the new adaptation of the hit cartoon series, including Cyndi Lauper, John Legend, Lady Antebellum, and Panic! At the Disco.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip” ( PG Animated Family Comedy ): Through a series of misunderstandings, ‘Alvin, Simon & Theodore’ come to believe ‘Dave’ is going to propose to his new girlfriend … and dump them. Voice cast: Jason Lee, Justin Long, Jesse McCartney. Co-stars Anna Faris, Christina Applegate, Kaley Cuoco. This is the franchise’s 4th movie.
• “The Big Short” ( R-Rated Biographical Drama ): 4 outsiders in the world of high-finance who predict the credit and housing bubble collapse of the mid-2000s decide to take on the big banks for their lack of foresight and greed. Stars Brad Pitt, Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling, Steve Carell.
• “Brooklyn” ( PG-13 Drama ): Saoirse Ronan stars as a young Irish immigrant navigating life in 1950s Brooklyn NY on her own. After traveling home to Ireland to mourn the loss of a loved one, she finds herself forced to choose between 2 countries and 2 men on opposite sides of the Atlantic. Nominated for 3 Academy Awards.
• “Carol” ( R-Rated Comedy ): This adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s novel “The Price of Salt” follows 2 women from very different backgrounds who find themselves in an unexpected love affair in 1950s NYC. Stars Rooney Mara as a department store clerk dreaming of a more fulfilling life; and Oscar-nominee Cate Blanchett in the title role, as an alluring, older woman.
• “Sisters” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Amy Poehler & Tina Fey play 2 sisters who decide to throw one last house party before their parents sell their family home. Co-stars Maya Rudolph, Ike Barinholtz. This lowbrow comedy is rated ‘R’ for crude sexual content and language throughout, and for drug use. Shot on Long Island NY.
• Also released today: “Censored Voices” (War Documentary); “CHiPs: The Complete 4th Season” (Vintage TV); “Game of Thrones: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); “The Nanny: The Final Season” (Vintage TV); “Steve Jobs: The Man In the Machine” (Documentary); and “What Our Fathers Did: A Nazi Legacy” (Documentary).

WORKING OUT THE KINKS:
A new study suggests our unusual turn-ons, fetishes, and sexual proclivities might not be so unusual after all. Researchers set out to see how common 8 ‘abnormal sexual interests’ laid out by the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – fetishism, exhibitionism, voyeurism, frotteurism, masochism, sadism, transvestism, and pedophilia – actually are. A survey of over 1,000 Québec residents has found that 4 of those sexual interests are actually statistically normal. Approximately 35% are interested in or have experienced voyeurism; 26% fetishism or frotteurism, and 19% masochism. Overall, nearly half of people polled want to do something considered kinky; another third already have. Researchers believe those numbers would be similar across North America and Europe. (Thanks mostly to “Fifty Shades” novels.)
– “Globe & Mail”

MORE BS WAYS YOU ARE BIASED AND DON’T EVEN KNOW IT:
✗ Irrational Escalation – This is the belief that because you have already invested $1 million you might as well invest more, even if it was a bad decision.
✗ Omission Bias – You tend to judge harmful actions as worse, or less moral, than harmful omissions.
✗ Outcome Bias – You tend to judge past decisions based on their outcome rather than on the quality of the decision during the time at which it was made.
✗ Projection Bias – You tend to assume that others share your emotions, moods, and thoughts.
✗ Reactive Devaluation – You tend to devalue proposals because they originated with an adversary.
✗ Social Comparison Bias – You tend not to hire people that would compete with your skill set.
✗ Zero Risk Bias – You would rather reduce a small risk to zero rather than reduce a large risk by a significant amount.
– Sourced from List25.com

THE PROBLEM WITH AUGUST BABIES:
One’s birth date has already been linked to such things as temperament. Now researchers in Taiwan report that we can add ADHD to the list. They’ve found that preschool and elementary school-age children born in August are 1.65 times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and 1.73 times more likely to be put on medication than kids born in September (who, because of school cutoff dates, tend to be nearly a year older than their August counterparts). The findings add to previous work in the US and Canada that has found a child’s age within a grade plays a role in ADHD diagnosis. What’s known as ‘neurocognitive maturity’ is particularly pronounced when comparing the youngest and oldest kids within a grade. The number of kids diagnosed with ADHD has risen dramatically worldwide. In the US for instance, more than 1-in-10 have been diagnosed with ADHD. (August babies will also tell you they get picked on.)
– LiveScience.com

HOW TO CHEAT AT ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS:
Tricks to watch out for, especially when playing RPS in bars for money …
✗ Throwing Late – Not declaring a throw until after the opponent has. This is usually indicated by a forearm ‘finishing’ the throw at less than 45 degrees to the leg.
✗ Throwing the Turkey Claw – Using a clawlike hand position that’s not quite ‘Paper’, not quite ‘Scissors’ and then claiming whichever turns out to be the better option.
✗ Avoiding Preconditions – Purposely not agreeing to terms of the match until it’s underway. The cheater then tries to adjust the number of games based on the outcome of the first few. (“You’re up 2-zip? We’re playing best out-of-7, am I right?”)
– Slate.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
A town in Spain has been celebrating a duck-throwing festival for 100 years.
– “The Local”

BS CHRONOMETER 03.15.16


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [73] David Cronenberg, Toronto ON, filmmaker (“Cosmopolis”, “A History of Violence”)/Order of Canada (2002)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (1999)

1955 [61] Dee Snider, Astoria NY, classic rocker (Twisted Sister-”We’re Not Gonna Take It”)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2012)

1963 [53] Bret Michaels, Butler PA, classic rocker (Poison-”Every Rose Has Its Thorn”)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2010/2013, “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” 2007-09)

1972 [44] Mark Hoppus, Ridgecrest CA, rock musician (Blink 182-”I Miss You”, +44-”When Your Heart Stops Beating”)

1975 [41] Eva Longoria, Corpus Christi TX, TV actress (‘Ana Sofia Calderón’ on “Telenovela” since 2015, “Desperate Housewives” 2004-12)

1975 [41] will.i.am (William Adams Jr), LA CA, rapper/music producer (w/Britney Spears-”Scream & Shout”, Black Eyed Peas-”I Gotta Feeling”)

1977 [39] Joe Hahn, Glendale CA, nu metal DJ (Linkin Park-”Numb/Encore”, “In the End”)

1985 [31] Kellan Lutz, Dickinson ND, movie actor (“Twilight Saga” movies)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Freedom of Information Day”, the 18th annual celebrating the idea that all citizens in a democracy can access government information. (After a dozen years … using a lawyer.)

• “Ides of March”, when Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. It’s also the tongue-in-cheek observance “National Brutus Day”, recognizing the fact that no matter where you work, there’s as much backstabbing, plotting, and intrigue as there was back in ancient Rome. The word ‘ides’ simply means ‘middle’. There’s nothing unlucky about it … unless you’re Caesar.

• “International Day Against Police Brutality”, begun in 1997 as an initiative of the Montréal QC-based Collective Opposed to Police Brutality and the Black Flag group in Switzerland.

• “True Confessions Day”, a good day to open up the ‘Morning Crew Confessional’ where anonymous callers shed their guilt by admitting their outrageous actions. You can even assign penance!

• “World Consumer Rights Day”, initiated by Consumers International to promote the basic rights of all consumers, to demand that those rights are respected and protected.

• “World Contact Day”, first declared March 15, 1953 by an organization called the International Flying Saucer Bureau. Today UFO contact groups once again unite to collectively try and make peaceful contact with extraterrestrial beings. Hello? Anybody there?

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [10] Remnants of Fats Domino’s 3 pianos are discovered and saved by the Louisiana State Museum while salvaging his New Orleans home, destroyed during Hurricane Katrina

2013 [03] Rapper Lil Wayne suffers a seizure in California but later recovers in a Los Angeles hospital (lay off the cough syrup, dude)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2011 [05] Beginning of the Syrian civil war (and when will it end?)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2010 [06] Sony Music announces the Biggest Recording Deal in History, worth more than $200 million with the estate of Michael Jackson (10 album projects over 7 years, including one of previously unreleased material)

2015 [01] Boston MA reaches a new seasonal snowfall record of 108.6 inches, eclipsing the 1995-96 record of 107.6 inches

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] “Nashville” season premiere (ABC)
[Wed] “The Life & Songs of Kris Kristofferson” (Nashville TN)
[Wed] Kick Butts Day
[Wed] Lips Appreciation Day
[Wed] No Selfies Day
[Thurs] St Patricks Day
This Week Is … Act Happy Week
This Month Is … Sing With Your Child Month

BULL’S BITS


BS LAWS OF COMMUTING:
• The train that is approaching on time just as you arrive is always ‘Out of Service’.
• The person sitting next to you who’s reading something interesting will always turn the page before you are finished.
• While standing in a crowded train the person pressing up against your back will be creepy, not cute.
• The only empty seat will have Ebola. Or Zika. Or Hepatitis. Or the carcass of a roasted chicken.
• Transit ads are from 3 years ago, no longer valid, and should be considered for nostalgia purposes only.
• You must always offer your seat to someone elderly or pregnant, even though you are exhausted and had to deal with Frank from sales all freaking day.
• If a guy is taking up 2 seats by ‘manspreading’, you are legally allowed to sit on his lap. If you are small and elderly, the entire car is allowed to applaud.
• Subway dancers will thwack you in the head as they spin on the pole. They will then ask you for money.
• The Emergency Brake must never be pulled, even in the case of emergencies. It says so right there on the instructions. We are unsure why there is an Emergency Brake.
• The train will always stop working in the bleakest, furthest away suburb.
– Thanks to Greg Tannen

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now!

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Which celebrity has-been who is desperately clinging to fame should give it up?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Women spend over $1,000-a-year on THIS, according to a new poll.
Answer: Coffee from chains.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.


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