Thursday, March 15, 2018– Edition: #6177

It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ (***Caution***) Shia LaBeouf has finally broken his silence about his arrest in Georgia last year. LeBeouf says that he “F’ed up” when he was arrested in Savannah for disorderly conduct, obstruction and public drunkenness. In his own words: “What went on in Georgia was mortifying. White privilege and desperation and disaster… It came from a place of self-centered delusion… It was me trying to absolve myself of guilt for getting arrested.” LaBeouf says that he is now resolved to take ownership of his failures, “and clean up my side of the street a bit before I can go out there and work again”
-ContactMusic
★ Matt LeBlanc is convinced a Friends reunion is dead, because all the characters have moved on with their lives. LeBlanc, who played dim-witted Joey Tribbiani on the classic TV show says, “That show was about a very finite period in your life when you’re like… between 20 and 30, when you’re outta school but life hasn’t really started yet, and your friends are your family and you’re kinda finding your way. “When that period is over, it’s over. All the characters have gone their separate ways…” He also joked that, “Nobody wants to see Joey at his colonoscopy.”
(He’s right. That sounds more like a ‘Seinfeld’ plotline!)
-Canoe
★ Amy Schumer surprised the world by announcing her marriage to farmer turned chef Chris Fischer last month. But she has no intention of taking his surname, as she explained on her Instagram Story. In her words: “I’m not Amy Fischer! Do you remember who Amy Fisher is? The Long Island Lolita. No, I’m keeping my last name.” Long Island resident Mary Jo Buttafuoco was shot by her husband Joey’s 17-year-old mistress Amy Fisher, in an infamous 1992 case.
-DailyMail
★ Arnold Schwarzenegger has confirmed that he and Danny Devito will be joined by Eddie Murphy in an upcoming ‘Twins’ sequel. The original 1988 film saw Schwarzenegger and DeVito star as unlikely twins Julius and Vincent Benedict who were separated at birth.
(‘Twins 2′? ‘2 Twins’? ‘Triplets’?)
-ContactMusic
★ CNBC has greenlit a new “Deal or No Deal” hosted by Howie Mandel, which will debut late this year. Mandel will also executive produce the game show. Mandel said that, “Having been in this business for 40 years, I’ve been involved in every kind of production — live, variety, drama, film and animation. Nothing changed my life, career and perception of humanity more than one project, and that was ‘Deal or No Deal.”
-MSN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zach Braff
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Bill Hader, Jimmy Buffett, Troye Sivan
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Oliver, Beanie Feldstein, Wolfgang Puck ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Cleese, Laverne Cox, Brendan Canty
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Alicia Vikander, Walton Goggins, Marshmello & Anne-Marie
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Anderson Cooper, Selma Blair, Grizzly Bear
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Burt Reynolds, Angela Bassett
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Ricky Gervais
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Connie Britton, Brian Tyree Henry
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kendall Jenner, Becca Kufrin, Portugal. The Man
• “Showtime at the Apollo” (FOX): Week 3. Performers with various talents compete in hopes of winning over the Apollo crowd and having the opportunity to come back in the season finale for a chance at headlining their very own show at the legendary Apollo Theater.
• “Tough Mudder: Tougher Together” (CW): Mudders from all walks of life, every age, gender, race, and status coming together to conquer their fears and find their Very Best.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift – is being accused of ripping off a perfume ad from 2016 in her new video for ‘Delicate’. Since it aired, a lot of people are saying it is similar to an ad for fashion line Kenzo’s fragrance, which was directed by Spike Jonze.
• Kelly Clarkson – says she felt like she was on a real-life ‘Pretty Woman’ set when she visited her fellow ‘The Voice’ coach Blake Shelton’s home. She admits she was in awe of the LA home he shares with Gwen Stefani. Quote: ”I was kind of like ‘Pretty Woman’ walking in the store, except I didn’t look like Julia Roberts, and I was walking in the store and they were like, ‘You don’t belong here.’ ”
• Tom Jones – has announced that he will be recording with will.i.am. The two work together on ‘The Voice U.K.’ and have become so close that they want to make music together.
• Bon Jovi – have set another record. Their album ‘This House Is Not for Sale’, fell from No. 1 to No. 168 in one week – the steepest-ever drop in chart history. That comes after it had been vaulted to the top of the chart earlier this month as the result of a ticket-LP deal associated with the band’s upcoming tour.
• Kid Rock – will be inducted into the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Hall of Fame April 6th. Rock is a longtime fan of wrestling and has performed at a number of WWE events, including WrestleMania 25 and Tribute to the Troops. His songs have also been used as entrance music by stars such as The Undertaker and Stacy Keibler.
• Barenaked Ladies – have announced that ex-singer Steven Page will join the band in a performance at the Juno Awards March 25. As previously announced, the band will be inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame at the show. Other performers include Shawn Hook and Diana Krall.
• Toto – late drummer Jeff Porcaro’s widow Susan Porcaro-Goings claims that two of his ex-bandmates are lowballing his estate on royalties. Porcaro-Goings has filed suit in Los Angeles Superior Court against Steve Lukather and David Paich, claiming they engaged in fraud and unjust enrichment in their business dealings with her.
• Smashing Pumpkins – Billy Corgan is giving away tea for free at his tea shop in Chicago, because he’s been forced to close it down. There will be free tea and special last-day sales at ‘Madame Zuzu’s Teahouse’ on Sunday. He is searching for a new location.
• Thomas Rhett – was joined onstage by Peyton Manning for a fun duet on Rhett Akins’ hit, ‘That Ain’t My Truck’ (Rhett Akins is Thomas Rhett’s father). The duet occurred at the Celebration of Caring Gala in Indianapolis. The charity event raised money for the Peyton Manning Children’s Hospital at St. Vincent.
• Reba McEntire – posted a photo to once again drop a hint about a possible reboot of her hit show, ‘Reba’. It shows her posing with former castmates Melissa Peterman and Christopher Rich, with the caption: “Now all we need is the rest of the REBA cast!!”

YOU’RE SO VAIN:
Quick! What is the ugliest photo you have of yourself? If it isn’t your passport photo, then it’s the one on your driver’s license. But if a bill passes in California, drivers there will have a choice when it comes to what photo is used on their license. The rule change would allow drivers, for an extra fee, to have multiple photos taken when it comes time to renew their license, and choose the one they prefer. And get this: drivers would even be permitted to submit their own photo. Money raised would go toward driver education and training.
(Have you ever looked at your license and wished the photo came out better? Have you ever NOT?)
(Submit their own? It’ll be like a dating app…everyone will be using a 10 year-old picture!)
(Remember: this is California…where everyone has a beauty consultant and a make-up artist…)
-NBC

THINKING ABOUT MARRIAGE:
Yes, sometimes you think that your spouse was put on earth to drive you nuts, but new research shows that your marriage may actually keep you from losing your mind. A report in the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery & Psychiatry says that the risk of dementia is significantly lower for married people than for adults who remain single their entire lives. Husbands and wives also fared better than widowers and widows, researchers found. Why? People who are married spend more time in the company of another person, and social engagement is associated with a reduced risk of dementia. Perhaps years of interacting with a husband or wife builds up a “cognitive reserve” that makes the brain more resilient to future damage. Married people also tend to be healthier, perhaps because their spouses nag them to eat their vegetables, quit smoking and take their blood pressure medications. Better physical health could translate into better brain health by reducing the risk of things like heart disease or a stroke. But they also point out that none of this means that people should get married simply to ward off dementia.
(What if I remain married, but we haven’t spoken for years?)
(Before you get married, watch your fiancé using a computer with a slow internet connection to find out who they really are!)
-OrlandoSentinel

BS BUZZWORDS:
Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Coffin Cubicle’ – a very small living space for one person made from an apartment that has been subdivided into units. (It’s not the size of my room that bothers me…it’s the fact that my kitchen and my bathroom are the same thing!)
• ‘Broken-Heart Syndrome’ – a temporary medical condition which affects the heart and is usually caused by a stressful or upsetting situation. (Ah! That pain in my chest I felt when the restaurant was out of my favorite dessert…)
• ‘Death Cleaning’ – the practice of throwing away things you don’t need as you get older, so that after your death your friends or family don’t have to deal with a large number of possessions you have left behind. (Might save me a lot of ‘afterlife-embarrassment’ too!)
• ‘Stoozing’ – borrowing money on a credit card with a 0% interest rate and then investing the cash in a bank account that pays a high interest rate so that a profit can be made when the original loan is repaid. (Wow! I cleared $4.54 this month…tax free!)
-Cambridge

BS CHRONOMETER 03.15.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [75] David Cronenberg, Toronto ON, filmmaker (“The Fly”, “A History of Violence”)/Order of Canada (2002)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (1999)

1955 [63] Dee Snider, Astoria NY, rock singer (Twisted Sister-‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2012)

1963 [55] Bret Michaels, Butler PA, rock singer (Poison-‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2010/2013, “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” 2007-09)

1968 [50] Mark McGrath, Hartford CT, pop singer (Sugar Ray-‘Fly’, ‘When It’s Over’)/TV host (“Extra” 2004-08, “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” 2010), reality TV personality (“Celebrity Big Brother”, 2018)

1972 [46] Mark Hoppus, Ridgecrest CA, rock musician (Blink 182-‘All the Small Things’, ‘I Miss You’)

1975 [43] Eva Longoria, Corpus Christi TX, TV actress (“Telenovela” 2015, “Desperate Housewives” 2004-12) COMING UP…”Overboard”, 2018

1975 [43] will.i.am (William Adams Jr), LA CA, rapper/music producer (Black Eyed Peas-‘I Gotta Feeling’, ‘My Humps’)

1985 [33] Kellan Lutz, Dickinson ND, movie actor (“The Legend of Hercules”, “Twilight” movies)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ides of March”, when Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. It’s also the tongue-in-cheek observance “National Brutus Day”, recognizing the fact that no matter where you work, there’s as much backstabbing, plotting, and intrigue as there was in ancient Rome. The word ‘ides’ simply means ‘middle’. There’s nothing unlucky about it … unless you’re Caesar.

• “International Day Against Police Brutality”, begun in 1997 as an initiative of the Montréal QC-based Collective Opposed to Police Brutality and the Black Flag group in Switzerland.

• “True Confessions Day”, They say confession is good for the soul, so go ahead and spill (***a good day to open up the ‘Morning Crew Confessional’ where anonymous callers shed their guilt by admitting their outrageous actions. You can even assign penance!***)

• “World Consumer Rights Day”, initiated by Consumers International to promote the basic rights of all consumers, to demand that those rights are respected and protected.

• “World Contact Day”, first declared March 15, 1953 by an organization called the International Flying Saucer Bureau. Today UFO contact groups will once again unite to collectively try and make peaceful contact with extraterrestrial beings. Hello? Anybody there?

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Lips Appreciation Day
[Fri] Everything You Do is Right Day
[Sat] St. Patrick’s Day
[Sat] National Corned Beef and Cabbage Day

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2004 [14] Bob Seger, George Harrison, ZZ Top, Jackson Browne, Prince, Traffic and The Dells are inducted into The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame

2010 [08] ABBA, Jimmy Cliff, Genesis, The Hollies, and The Stooges – are inducted at the 25th Annual Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1985 [33] The first Internet domain name, symbolics.com is registered

2002 [16] Liverpool UK international air terminal is re-branded Liverpool John Lennon Airport as Yoko Ono unveils a 7-ft bronze statue of Lennon overlooking the check-in hall

2011 [07] Beginning of the Syrian civil war (still going…)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2010 [08] Sony Music announces the ‘Biggest Recording Deal in History’, worth more than $200 million, with the estate of Michael Jackson (10 album projects over 7 years, including one of previously unreleased material)

2015 [03] Boston MA reaches a new seasonal snowfall record of 108.6 inches, eclipsing the 1995-96 record of 107.6 inches

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Mister Rogers responded to every fan letter he received.
✓ Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson uses violence to solve his problems in 96% of his movies.
✓ On average, people lose half their friends every seven years, and replace them with others.
✓ People who get their news from Twitter are more educated than those who get their news from Facebook.
✓ An NFL waterboy makes an average salary of $53,000 a year.
✓ Walking is good for your mood, regardless of your surroundings.
✓ Your lips don’t touch when you say ‘touch,’ but they do when you say ‘apart.’
-WhattheFFacts

BS TIPS ON WINNING YOUR OFFICE MARCH MADNESS POOL:
• Confirm with Siri that basketball is the game with the orange-y ball.
• Pick the team with the tallest players.
• Find out which star players have the least amount of homework due this month.
• Determine which coaches best implement the free-labor model.
• Pick the meanest-looking mascots.
• Don’t pick Duke.
• Remember that the shot clock is longer in college basketball than it is in the NBA so high-tempo teams can be forced to play out of their element by an opposing coach with a disciplined strategy. Then flip a coin.
– Thanks to Jonny Auping, first published in BS in 2017

BS BAD THINGS TO HEAR DURING SURGERY:
• “I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.”
• “Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!”
• “Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?”
• “Hand me that… uh… that uh… that thingy there.”
• “Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?”
• “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys? and this guy’s got two of ’em.”
• “Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing off my concentration.”
• “That’s cool. Now can you make his leg twitch by pressing that one?!”
• “Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.”
• “Sterile schmerile. The floor’s clean, right?”
• “OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.”
• “This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?”
• “Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donation card?”
• “Don’t worry. I think it’s sharp enough.”
• “Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.”
-Ahajokes

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• What was the original meaning of the word ‘hodgepodge’?
a. a garment with many patches
b. a mixed breed dog
c. a kind of stew [CORRECT]

• What are you suffering with if you’ve been diagnosed with a periorbital hematoma?
a. a black eye [CORRECT]
b. a tooth cavity
c. stomach gas
–FunTrivia

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m sorry for name dropping. The Queen hates it when I do that.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Today is “Shoe the World Day”. Go ahead and tell us…how many pairs of shoes do you own? Why?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 2/3 of women would rather get this than a wedding proposal. What?
Answer: A promotion at work

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Frustration is not having anyone to blame but yourself.