Tuesday, March 17, 2015        Edition: #5409

Happy St Paddy’s Day For Sheet’s Sake!

★ A married couple serving as judges on “The X Factor NZ” in New Zealand have been axed for bullying a contestant after his performance. Brit singer Natalia Kills and her New Zealand musician-husband Willy Moon gave the cruel critique to performer Joe Irvine during their 1st live episode as judges. Among their comments: “Cheesy, disgusting and absolutely artistically atrocious”; “It’s like Norman Bates dressing up in his mother’s clothing. I feel like you’re going to stitch someone’s skin to your face and kill everybody in the audience.” Network TV3 says 2 new judges will be announced before the next live show on Sunday. (Simon Cowell wannabes?)
– Telegraph.co.uk
★ Actor Alec Baldwin is reportedly heading back to the stage 2 years after his headline-grabbing run in the Broadway show “Orphans”, which closed early following the dramatic sacking of his co-star Shia LaBeouf. The firing was a result of furious off-stage arguments between Baldwin and LaBeouf during rehearsals. Ben Foster was drafted as a replacement, but the show soon closed due to slow ticket sales. Baldwin has now signed on for a new production of Arthur Miller’s “All My Sons”, set to play the Guild Hall in East Hampton NY this Summer. (He owns a house on Long Island … so it’s sort of a part-time Summer job.)
– “New York Post”
★ And word has it supermodel Gisele Bündchen is set to retire from catwalk modeling following her appearance at São Paulo Fashion Week in her native Brazil next month. The 34-year-old is reportedly planning to bid farewell to her runway career after starring in a show by Colcci, for whom she’s modeled numerous times during her 20 years in the biz. However, she won’t be giving up modeling altogether, continuing to appear in ad campaigns. She topped Forbes’ annual models’ earning list for an 8th time last year … with $47 million. (Between her loot and that of her NFL QB-hubby Tom Brady, they can afford to buy their own country.)
– BangShowbiz.com

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – OK Go (“Hungry Ghosts”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Madonna (“Rebel Heart”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Spoon (“They Want My Soul”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tijuana Panthers (“NOBO”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Glen Hansard (“Drive All Night”).
• “One Big Happy” (NBC) – Debut of a new half-hour comedy, executive-produced by Ellen DeGeneres and starring Elisha Cuthbert as a pregnant lesbian. Co-stars Kelly Brook, Chris Williams.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – J Cole (“2014 Forest Hills Drive”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Modest Mouse (“Strangers to Ourselves”, out today).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Once again Ellie Goulding, Meghan Trainor, Nick Jonas, and Lionel Richie help mentor the Battle Rounds.

• Awolnation – Today they unleash their new studio album, “Run”. Currently the group has 4 US tour dates on their plate, with a European trek scheduled for late March into early April.
• Elton John – He’s calling for a boycott of Dolce & Gabbana after the fashion house’s founders, Domenico Dolce & Stefano Gabbana, criticized gay adoption and ‘synthetic children’ conceived through in vitro fertilization. Elton & David Furnish have 2 children who were born via surrogate.
• Garth Brooks – He’s announced his World Tour is heading to State College PA, home of Penn State University, for shows May 1-2. Tickets go on sale Friday. Next up on his schedule is Denver CO this Thursday through March 24th, where he plays 9 shows over 6 nights.
• Iggy Azalea – She’s delaying her upcoming North American arena tour from the Spring to the Fall. She tells 97.1 AMP Radio [KAMP] San Diego CA that she simply needs more time to perfect her live show.
• Paul McCartney – Heather Mills says her ex-husband is now an “irrelevant has-been” who has to work with the likes of Rihanna and Kanye West to have any hits. It was 7 years ago today that the former model was awarded $48.6 million in her divorce settlement from McCartney.
• Rihanna – She has a new gig representing Christian Dior. The storied French fashion house has reportedly contracted the 27-year-old music superstar to appear in an upcoming video and print ad campaign filmed in Versailles, France. It’s scheduled to run this Spring.
• Tanya Tucker – The country music vet is recording again. After taking time off to raise her children, she’s now prepping to hit the road with a new tour and new music slated for release later this year.
• Tony Bennett – He tells “NY Post” that he will be singing at his friend Lady Gaga’s upcoming wedding to actor Taylor Kinney. Quote: “They invited me to do it and of course I will.”
• Wiz Khalifa w/Iggy Azalea – Their collaboration “Go Hard or Go Home” appears on the new “Furious 7: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack”, out today. Azalea is rumored to have a cameo in the newest edition of the long-running film series, which arrives in theaters April 3rd.

Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Annie” ( PG Musical Comedy ): A foster kid, who lives with her mean foster mom, sees her life change when business tycoon and NYC mayoral candidate ‘Will Stacks’  takes her in. Stars Quvenzhané Wallis (who took over after Willow Smith quit), Cameron Diaz, Jamie Foxx. Latest version of the “Little Orphan Annie” tale that spawned films in 1938, 1982, and 1999.
• “Exodus: Gods & Kings” ( PG-13 Biblical Drama ): The defiant leader Moses rises up against the Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses, setting up a monumental journey of escape out of Egypt by 600,000 slaves and unleashing a terrifying cycle of deadly plagues. Directed by Ridley Scott; stars Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton, Ben Kingsley, Sigourney Weaver.
• “Top Five” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Chris Rock directs and stars as a comedian who tries to make it as a serious actor when his reality-TV star fiancée (Rosario Dawson) talks him into broadcasting their wedding on her TV show. Co-stars Gabrielle Union, Kevin Hart. Cameos by Adam Sandler, JB Smoove, Jerry Seinfeld, Kevin Hart, Tracy Morgan, Whoopi Goldberg.
• Also released today: “Ghost Whisperer: The Complete Series 2005-10” (TV); “Maude: The Complete Series” (Vintage TV); “Revelation: The End of Days” (History Channel miniseries); and “TURN – Washington’s Spies: The Complete 1st Season” (TV).

Virtual reality is undeniably cool, but up until now has been limited to mundane activities like playing videogames and watching 3-D movies. But now Samsung has used virtual reality technology to help Australian couple Jason & Alison Larke witness the birth of their 3rd child together … even though they were 2,500 miles (4,000 km) apart. Jason was working in Queensland at the time that Alison was ready to deliver back home in Perth. But Jason witnessed his child’s birth using the Samsung Gear VR headset, which allowed him to look all around and feel like he was in the hospital room when Alison went into labor. It was the 1st-ever livestreamed virtual reality birth. (A PR stunt, yes. But still fairly amazing, no?)
– CNN Money

• Chicago IL – The local plumbers’ union dyes the Chicago River green, a St Patrick’s tradition since 1962.
• London, England – Thousands gather for festivities and a concert in Trafalgar Square, where fountain waters are dyed green.
• Munich, Germany – Germany’s St Patrick’s Day Parade is considered one of the largest anywhere outside of Ireland.
• New York NY – The annual St Patrick’s Day Parade in New York City, the world’s largest, has honored the patron saint of Ireland for over 250 years, since 1762.
• Singapore – Members of the city-state’s Irish community come together to celebrate in a 3-day-long street festival. Events include performances, parades, and Irish food & drink.
• Sydney, Australia – St Patrick himself (at least a good replica) makes an appearance in the Sydney parade, which features more than 70 floats to represent all 32 counties of Ireland.
• Washington DC – Green water flows and geysers from the large fountain on the South Lawn of the White House.
– RD.com

It’s time to break up with your ‘boyfriend jeans’, the broken-in, relaxed-fit pants that have long been marketed as the jeans you’re dying to steal from your beau. Stylish sisters like Gwen Stefani are now slipping into ‘girlfriend jeans’, the sexier better half to the former fad, which sit higher on the hips, are slightly tighter, and have a slim, straight leg. They’re described as ‘part-slouchy, part-slinky’. Unlike boyfriend jeans, which are based on menswear, these pants are decidedly feminine and designed with ladies in mind. One jean designer says of the look: “It’s more slimming through the leg, and it makes your butt look very cute and perky.” (How come women’s body parts that are considered ideal are always described as ‘perky’?)
– @NYDailyNews

1. You learn to stop fearing loneliness.
2. You have more time to cultivate other sources of support.
3. You come to rely on yourself.
4. You don’t have to compromise your future.
5. You learn to comfort yourself.
6. You get to date yourself.
7. You have more time to figure out who you are.
8. You’ll be more ready for love when you find it.
– Bustle.com

• In the horse world, mares prefer the stallions with the deepest whinnies.
– “New Scientist”
• Fewer large companies are run by women than by men named ‘John’.
– “New York Times”
• Most people tend to unconsciously sniff their hands after a handshake.
– “New Scientist”


1951 [64] Kurt Russell, Springfield MA, movie actor (“Furious 7”, “Escape From LA”)/actress Goldie Hawn’s partner since 1983/actress Kate Hudson’s stepfather

1955 [60] Gary Sinise, Blue Island IL, TV actor (“CSI: NY” 2004-13)/movie actor (“Captain America: The Winter Soldier”, “Forrest Gump”)  COMING UP: Stars as ‘Agent Jack Garrett’ in  the untitled new “Criminal Minds” spin-off due in 2016.

1964 [51] Rob Lowe, Charlottesville VA, TV actor (“Parks & Recreation” 2010-15, “Brothers & Sisters” 2006-10, “The West Wing” 1999-2003)/movie actor (“The Interview”, “Austin Powers”)
1967 [48] Billy Corgan, Chicago IL, rock singer-guitarist (Smashing Pumpkins-“Tarantula”, “1979”)

1973 [42] Keifer Thompson, Miami OK, country singer (Thompson Square-“If I Didn’t Have You”, “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?”)

1987 [28] Rob Kardashian Jr, LA CA, reality TV personality (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians” since 2007, “The Choice” 2012, “Dancing With the Stars” 2011)/sometime model

1990 [25] Hozier (Andrew Hozier-Byrne), Bray, Ireland, indie singer-songwriter (“From Eden”, “Take Me to Church”)

• “Clean Your Closet Day”. After all, would once-a-year kill ya? Sort it by junk, charity donations, giveaways to family & friends, and stuff that’s too small to wear anymore. More tips here …
NET: http://www.enjoy-your-style.com/clean-out-your-closet.html

• “Irish Coffee Day”, a celebration of the drink that simultaneously picks you up and knocks you down, timed to coincide with Ireland’s national day. Similarly, today is also “Corned Beef & Cabbage Day”, in honor of a favorite Irish dish.

• “St Patrick’s Day”, the Irish national holiday that began as a ‘solemn religious observance’ to honor St Patrick (389-461 AD), patron saint of Ireland. It’s a public holiday in Ireland, Montserrat, and the Canadian province of Newfoundland & Labrador. Green is associated with “St Patrick’s Day” because it’s the color of Spring, Ireland, and the shamrock.

• “Submarine Day”, celebrating the sandwich also known as a ‘hoagie’ or a ‘hero’.

2014 [01] Model, fashion designer, and long-time Mick Jagger girlfriend L’Wren Scott dies at age 49 in NYC, the victim of suicide

2000 [15] Shania Twain’s “Come On Over” album is certified for sales of 17 million copies, making it the best-selling solo album by a female artist to date

2000 [15] Julia Roberts becomes the 1st actress ever to command $20 million for a movie, with the release of “Erin Brockovich”

[Wed] “Hockey Wives” debuts (W)
[Wed] Awkward Moments Day
[Wed] Biodiesel Day
[Thurs] Companies That Care Day
[Fri] Spring begins
This Week Is … Flood Safety Awareness Week
This Month Is … International Women’s Month


Actual BS reasons provided to insurance companies by customers demanding compensation …
• “It all started when a detour was born in my neighborhood. Suddenly, I found myself wrong-way driving and even though I was trying hard to avoid the oncoming cars, I failed to do so. Twice.”
• “I was going to show my children how to dive. Obviously, I didn’t assess the depth of the rubber swimming pool correctly and I started to drown after my head hit the bottom.”
• “My injury was caused by a totally unexpected hit that I got when talking to my wife.”
• “When cutting grass, the mower accidentally hit a snail and the broken flying pieces of his shell got in my eyes. Shocked, I threw the mower away so unluckily that it hit a little stone that broke my car´s window.”
• “When I came to my car, I noticed all the windows were broken. I think they were made from some poor-quality material.”
• “My eye injury was caused by a piece of bread that my friend accidentally hurled at me during the party.”
• “When playing bowling, my little finger got stuck in the ball and stayed in there.”
• “The kitchen fire was caused by an electric cooker that the children used when playing homeless and left it unattended.”
• “Without any warning, my cat peed into my computer. She hit the main board through the ventilation slots, destroying the whole computer.”
• “I dislocated my shoulder when riding a pig.”
– Condensed from List25.com

I bet you a dollar I can tell you where you got those shoes. You got them on your feet.

A new study shows that most dogs are less stressed when they hear what?
a. Classical music. [CORRECT]
b. Birdsong.
c. A can opener.
– “Daily Express”

☎ What’s the best prize you’ve gotten from a cereal box?

Question: The average woman owns THIS for 5 years.
Answer: Underwear.

The only difference between a date and a job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll end up naked at the end of it.

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