Wednesday, March 18, 2015        Edition: #5410

Either Sheet or Get Off the Air!

★ David Lynch admits his “Twin Peaks” reboot has hit “complications”. After the remarkable news that a 3rd season of the show could premiere on Showtime in 2016, 25 years after the original series went off-the-air, the series creator admitted at an exhibition in Australia this week that the project is very much up-in-the-air. Quote: “I’m not sure at this point if it’s happening .We are still working on a contract. But I love those characters [and] think it will be very special to go back into that world.”
★ Media mogul Oprah Winfrey recently announced she’s closing down the Chicago production studio where her talk shows were once shot, and now seems to be leaving the Windy City behind completely by preparing to sell off her luxurious apartment there. In an effort to empty it of items she has no interest in moving to her homes in California and Hawaii, she’s hired Leslie Hindman Auctioneers to sell about 550 personal treasures on April 25th. The items range from $50-$120,000 and include furniture, prints, drawings, porcelain, crystal, silver, memorabilia, and clothing. Proceeds go to the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa.
★ Actor Sean Penn has played down reports he is engaged to fellow Oscar-winner Charlize Theron, insisting comments he made in a recent interview were “mixed up”. The twice-wed “Milk” star has been dating the “Monster” actress since 2013 and sparked speculation they’re planning to wed by talking about a potential 3rd marriage late last year. He’s now addressed the rumor, suggesting his remarks were misconstrued … but pointedly stops short of denying he and Theron are engaged. Penn was married to Madonna 1985-89 and to actress Robin Wright (“House of Cards”) 1996-2010.
– “Times Magazine”
★ And Comedy Central has announced it will be removing several jokes made in reference to the death of Paul Walker at the “Roast of Justin Bieber”, which was taped on the weekend to air on March 30th. There were plenty of controversial jokes, ranging in topics from Bill Cosby to ISIS, but several mentioning Walker didn’t land, eliciting groans instead of laughs from the audience. Walker died last year in a car accident. He appears in the movie “Furious 7”, which premiered this week at SXSW in Austin, Texas and hits theaters April 3rd.
– “Hollywood Reporter”

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Justin Bieber (“Roast of Justin Bieber”); Madonna (“Rebel Heart”).
• “Hockey Wives” (W) – Debut of a new reality series that centers around the spouses or girlfriends of current and recently retired NHL players.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – James Bay (“Chaos and the Calm”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Sweat Lodge (“Talismana”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/Omni 1) – Leon Bridges (“Coming Home”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tove Styrke (“Kiddo”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Sisqo (“Last Dragon”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Boots (“Motorcycle Jesus”).

• Joe Cocker – His ‘Mad Dog Ranch’ near Crawford, Colorado is on the market, listed at  $7 million. The property includes an 8-bedroom Tudor-style mansion, an acre-sized swimming pool, and 2 greenhouses where he grew tomatoes. He died in December of lung cancer.
• Jessie J – The “Price Tag” hitmaker was due to complete the final 3 dates of her trek Down Under this week, but she’s announced they’ve had to be axed due to an undisclosed medical problem.
• Kanye West – He’ll headline Britain’s massive Glastonbury Festival 2015 (June 26-28), taking to the Pyramid Stage on the Saturday night. He joins Foo Fighters, previously announced for Friday. AC/DC, Noel Gallagher, and Taylor Swift remain favorites for the Sunday slot.
• Lorde – She’s sent a box of cupcakes to “X Factor NZ” contestant Joe Irvine after his performance was savaged by (now fired) judges Natalia Kills and Willy Moon on Sunday night’s live broadcast. The gift box is emblazoned with the message “Keep being Joe”.
• Meghan Trainor – Just as her “That Bass Tour” comes to a close this week, she’s revealed dates for a Summer headlining jaunt called “The M-Train Tour”. It begins July 3rd in Atlantic City NJ and makes stops in about 30 markets.
• Rascal Flatts – Their Vegas residency wrapped over the weekend, following a 9-show run at The Joint at Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. Now they’re focused on preparation for their headlining “Riot Tour 2015”, kicking off in May. Scotty McCreery and RaeLynn will open the shows.
• Rihanna – She tells “Grazia” magazine that  TV ”saves her life”, providing much-needed relaxation time away from her busy work schedule. In particular, she says she’s a reality TV fanatic.
• Sinead O’Connor – She’s announced she won’t be singing her biggest hit, “Norhing Compares 2 U”, any more. In a post on her Facebook page, she explains she no longer feels comfortable just going through the motions when she sings the tune live.

Allergies are partly due to genetic predisposition but also to environment. A few surprising factors that can reduce the odds of your child developing allergies or asthma …
• A recent Swedish study has found that youngsters who eat off dishes scrubbed by hand rather than cleaned in a dishwasher are significantly less likely to have allergies.
• Having older siblings has been shown to protect against the development of allergies in the first year of life. Why? They help create an immune-boosting microbial ‘soup’ in the home.
• Children born in the countryside are less likely to develop allergies than those raised in cities, because country kids are exposed to a wide variety of microbes.
• Babies born by caesarean are 5 times more likely to develop allergies by the age of 2 than those born naturally.
• Children under 5 are 50% more likely to have food allergies if born in Autumn or Winter, rather than Spring or Summer. It may be due to a lower level of vitamin D exposure.
• Sedentary lifestyles in front of screens are linked to obesity, which is a risk factor for asthma.
• Expectant women often avoid eating nuts and eggs, even if they are craving them, for fear of making their child allergic. The exact opposite seems to be the case, according to experts.
• Eating fermented foods such as pickles and sauerkraut (which contain healthy bacteria) may offer allergy protection, according to recent research from Sweden’s University of Gothenburg.
– @MailOnline

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 33% of men never tell anyone, not even their closest friends, that they’re on a diet.
• 25% of us admit we have never performed a ‘random act of kindness’.
• 23% of women say they prefer to have lunch in the office … so they won’t shop.
• 21% of women say they always take a shower on a daily basis.
• 10% of women refuse to pay for anything on a first date.
• 8% of us have NEVER sent an email.

Everyone knows you can buy cheese, fruitcake, and really good beer from monks, but those aren’t the only businesses they dabble in. Some stranger things you can acquire from them …
✓ Bonsai Trees – From Cistercian monks at Monastery Of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, Georgia.
✓ Cat Calendars – “Monastery Greetings” sells various products from monasteries worldwide.
✓ Cocktails – Belly up to a Buddhist Monk-run bar in Tokyo, Japan called Vow’z Bar.
✓ Coffins – New Melleray Abbey in Iowa since 1999; St Joseph Abbey in Louisiana since 2013.
✓ Cologne – Smell like a pope thanks to Rome’s Monks Of the Community of Saint Benedict.
✓ Dog Training – “The New Skete Approach” DVD from Monks of New Skete in Cambridge NY.
✓ Hot Sauce – “Monk Sauce” from peppers grown in the gardens of Italy’s Subiaco Abbey.
✓ Lip Balm – From the Benedictine Monks of St Augustine’s Abbey in Canterbury, England.
✓ Ski Lessons – A school run by Cistercian monks who dwell near the Alps in Stams, Austria.
– Condensed from

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Agrihood’ – A neighborhood with green spaces designated for agricultural use so that residents can grow food and raise animals. (Also known as … a hick town.)
• ‘Demisexual’ – A person who only feels sexual attraction in the context of a deep emotional connection or romantic relationship. (For these people, there’s no chance of being hit with a wave of lust when glimpsing a stranger across the room.)
• ‘EGOT’ – Show biz slang for someone who’s won Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony awards. (Perhaps hard to believe but among them is … Whoopi Goldberg.)
• ‘Ragequit’ – To stop, leave, or renounce something in a rage, particularly a videogame. (Ever given up a gig this way?)

Nearly half of survey respondents admit they’ve lied at least once in order to impress someone. 71% say they’ll likely do it again. Some of the experiences most often falsely claimed …
✗ Skydiving … 45%
✗ Meeting a celebrity … 41%
✗ Attending a specific music event … 36%
✗ Bungee jumping … 29%
✗ Being arrested/spending time in jail … 25%
✗ Attending a major sporting event … 19%
✗ Exotic travels … 17%
(Getting lucky … 97% of guys.)

• Regularly sleeping more than 8 hours at a time puts you at much higher risk for stroke.
• People with gout seem to have significantly less risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease.
• Simple diets help you lose weight just as effectively as more complicated plans.


1963 [52] Vanessa Williams, Tarrytown NY, TV actress (“Desperate Housewives” 2010-12, “Ugly Betty” 2006-10)/pop singer (“Save the Best For Last”)/movie actress (“Johnson Family Vacation”)

1966 [49] Jerry Cantrell, Tacoma WA, alt-rock guitarist-vocalist (Alice in Chains-“Check My Brain”, “No Excuses”)

1970 [45] Queen Latifah (Dana Owens), Newark NJ, TV host (“The Queen Latifah Show” 2013-15)/movie actress (“The Secret Life of Bees”)/hip hop-jazz-pop singer (“Persona”)

1972 [43] Dane Cook, Boston MA, comedian (“Rough Around the Edges”)/movie actor (“My Best Friend’s Girl”)

1974 [41] Philip Sweet, Pocahontas AR, country singer (Little Big Town-“Pontoon”, “Bring It On Home”)

1979 [36] Adam Levine, LA CA, pop singer (Maroon 5-“Moves Like Jagger”, “She Will Be Loved”)/TV personality (“The Voice” since 2011)

1980 [35] Daren Taylor, LA CA, indie rock drummer (Airborne Toxic Event–”Changing”, “Sometime Around Midnight”)

1989 [26] Lily Collins, Guildford UK, movie actress (“Mirror, Mirror”, “The Blind Side”)/daughter of classic rocker Phil Collins

• “Awkward Moments Day”, a day to celebrate the humor in life’s uncomfortable and embarrassing situations. (Which we normally fail to see until years later.)

• “Biodiesel Day”, in honor of the clean-burning fuel that can be used in any diesel engine with no conversion whatsoever. It is derived from 100% renewable resources like soybeans, canola, mustard seed, even recycled cooking oil. The day is celebrated on the anniversary of the 1858 birth of Rudolph Diesel, the German inventor of the diesel engine.

• “Forgive Mom & Dad Day”. No matter how lousy they were as parents, it’s time to let it go and get on with your life.

2008 [07] Oscar-winning director Anthony Minghella (“The English Patient”, “Cold Mountain”) dies at age 54 in a London hospital, a week after undergoing surgery to treat tonsil cancer

2009 [06] 45-year-old English actress Natasha Richardson (Mrs Liam Neeson) dies in NYC following a head injury suffered 2 days earlier during a ski lesson at Mont Tremblant, Québec

1998 [17] Michael Jackson goes shopping at a toy store in Munich, Germany … dressed as an Arab woman

1965 [50] 1st person to ‘walk in space’, Soviet cosmonaut Alexei Leonov

2002 [13] A 13-year-old girl dies 2 days after being struck in the head by a puck at a Columbus Blue Jackets game, forcing the National Hockey League to take new precautions regarding fan safety

1981 [34] Buffalo Sabres set an NHL record of 9 goals in 1 period (vs Toronto Maple Leafs)

[Thurs] Companies That Care Day
[Fri] “The Gunman”; “Insurgent” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Proposal Day
[Sat] 26th GLAAD Media Awards (Los Angeles)
[Sat] Lollapalooza Argentina begins (Buenos Aires)
[Sat] Single Parent Day
This Week Is … International Brain Awareness Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month


Places you are strongly advised to stay away from …
✗ Nuclear power plant disaster sites.
✗ Stoplight-controlled intersections, when said stoplight is flashing red due to power outage.
✗ A room full of hipsters while not ironically wearing a polo shirt.
✗ The sun.
✗ Conversations about family planning with one’s daughter-in-law.
✗ Any cabin that appears unexpectedly in the center of a deep, dark wood.
✗ Anal glands of a temperamental Doberman.
✗ Transylvanian castles between the hours of sunset and sunrise.
✗ Subway public restrooms.
✗ Watercoolers of politically conservative news channel studios.
– Thanks to Amelie Mabbutt

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”

It’s recently been discovered that 480 million years ago one of these existed that was human-sized. Which?
a. Hamster.
b. Lobster [CORRECT. Required 2 oil drums of liquified butter to consume.]
c. Mosquito.
– BBC Science & Technology

☎ What’s the weirdest souvenir mug/cup/glass hiding in your cupboard?

Question: According to a survey, THESE are the ‘3 little words’ women like to hear most.
Answer: “You’ve lost weight!”

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

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