March 19 2018

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Monday, March 19, 2018 Edition: #6179

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

★ Kim Kardashian has confirmed rumors that she has a request in her will about how her hair and makeup should be done if she ever becomes too ill to communicate, saying that they’re “absolutely” true. She addressed a number of reports about herself and her family in a video posted by ‘Elle’ on Thursday, saying that she “made a section that if I am so out of it that I can’t even communicate… I definitely need my hair, my nails and my makeup done.” She also said that she will continue to post racy photos of herself no matter how many kids she has. As for speculation that Kylie Jenner was her child’s surrogate, Kim says that the woman who gave birth to Chicago West has “no biological relationship” to the baby.
★ Terry Gilliam, director of ‘The Fisher King’ and ‘12 Monkeys’, is facing backlash from Hollywood after comments he made about disgraced media mogul Harvey Weinstein, sexual harassment and the #MeToo movement resembling “mob rule.” The former Monty Python member called Weinstein a “monster” who “made so many enemies” but also opened professional doors for his victims. Gilliam’s comments did not sit well with a number of Hollywood heavyweights, including producer Judd Apatow, who called them “idiotic and dangerous.”
★ A publicist for Matt Damon is denying reports that the actor is moving to Australia because of anger over President Donald Trump. It had been reported that Damon was buying a home in Byron Bay near actor Chris Hemsworth, who appeared with him in “Thor: Ragnarok”. Damon spokeswoman Jennifer Allen said Damon has been to Australia a lot recently, but he has not bought a home there nor is he relocating there.
★ Daryl Hannah and Neil Young unveiled their collaboration — the Netflix movie ‘Paradox’ — at the South by Southwest festival last week. Of course, they’ve been collaborating in the romance department for more than three years. As the festival, they openly discussed their romance, with Young saying, “We’re very lucky to have found each other. I’m eternally thankful for the opportunity to share my life with her.” He added, “She feels the same.”
(Does that mean that she also feels that he is lucky to share his life with her?)
★ Kathy Griffin has won a major battle in her ongoing war with her neighbor. A judge has tossed out a request for a restraining order by CB Homes honcho Jeffrey Mezger, who wanted an order prohibiting Griffin from running audio on her security cameras. Griffin had caught Mezger on audio screaming epithets at her in the past. The original dispute was over noise. Griffin scored another victory earlier last week when her upcoming Carnegie Hall concert sold out in 1 day.
★ Jonah Hill‘s brother, music manager Jordan Feldstein, died from blood clots that originated in his legs. A report from Los Angeles County Medical Examiner states that Feldstein’s main causes of death were pulmonary embolism and deep leg vein thrombosis. A pulmonary embolism is a blockage in one of the arteries in the lung usually caused by clots that travel from the leg. The report also lists pneumonia and obesity. Feldstein — who was the longtime manager of Maroon 5, as well as Miguel, Elle King and Robin Thicke — passed away on December 22.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Tyler Perry, Jensen Ackles, Dua Lipa
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Blake Shelton, Scott Eastwood
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Drew Barrymore, Adam Devine, Moby
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Bill Hader, Rosie Perez, Tayari Jones, Lil’John Roberts
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): RuPaul, Kumail Nanjiani, Jenny Slate, Craig David
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Burt Reynolds, Dylan Moran, Rachel Feinstein
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Stassi Schroeder, Brittany Cartwright
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Cory Booker
• “The Talk” (CBS): Krysten Ritter, Big Boy
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Hilary Swank, Scott Eastwood, guest co-host Maria Menounos
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Allison Janney, Zach Woods
• “American Idol” (ABC)” The auditions continue.
• “Arthur Miller: Writer” (HBO): Filmmaker Rebecca Miller honors the life of her father, playwright Arthur Miller. Personal interviews delve into his struggles during the anti-Communist witch hunts of the ’50s, his relationship with Marilyn Monroe and his impact on American culture.

• Drake – he and Travis Scott teamed up with Pittsburgh Steelers receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster to play the video game ‘Fortnite’ live on Twitch last week. The live streaming video platform reports that they broke a record for the most-viewed stream on Twitch, peaking at 630,000 viewers (watching dudes play a video game?)
• Ariana Grande – is among the stars expected to take part in the ‘March for Our Lives’ anti-gun protest in Washington on Saturday. Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, and Jennifer Hudson are also expected to participate in the rally.
• Ed Sheeran – many social media users are unhappy with him and Kendall Jenner for their cameos in the video for Lil Dicky and Chris Brown’s new single, ‘Freaky Friday’. Twitter lit up with fans objecting to the pair working with Brown, who pleaded guilty to physically assaulting then-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009.
• The Who – singer Roger Daltrey advised Vegas fans at a concert to wear earplugs. According to him, “I am deaf. I advise you all – all you rock-and-roll fans – take your…earplugs to the gigs.” He also reassured the crowd that he would keep on performing “for a long time,” because, “I am lucky to be doing what I do.” He has a new solo album arriving June 1.
• Glenn Frey – the late Eagle’s solo career is getting the deluxe retrospective treatment with a box set featuring hits and deep cuts, as well as live recordings and out-of-print early material. The four-disc set ‘Above the Clouds: The Collection’ will arrive in stores May 11.
• Elton John – There are two tribute albums on the way. ‘Revamp’ will feature pop and rock stars’ versions of his hits, including Pink, Lady Gaga and Alessia Cara, while ‘Restoration’ will contain country stars such as Vince Gill, Kacey Musgraves and Chris Stapleton. Both albums come out April 6. Many of these artists will appear on a tribute TV special airing April 10.
• Scotty McCreery – says his hit ‘Five More Minutes’ is the one song that he was willing to stake his career on. He lost the rights to a lot of his music two years ago, and fought for a year to regain the rights to the song. He wrote it about the death of his grandfather.
• Jason Aldean – his new album, ‘Rearview Town’, will feature a duet with Miranda Lambert. The two teamed up for the song ‘Drowns the Whiskey’. The album comes out April 13.

An exclusive Maine restaurant that was once declared the “best Maine restaurant you may never be able to eat at,” may soon become even more exclusive. It was already difficult to get a table at the “Lost Kitchen”, but now they have announced that you can no longer make reservations by phone. Or via email. Or on any app. Your only option: snail-mail. You must MAIL them a letter with your name and contact info. If your letter is randomly drawn, they’ll be in touch. Why? When reservations for the next year opened last April 1, the 40-seat eatery was overwhelmed with 10,000 phone calls, and the voice-mail overloaded within 30 minutes. So now if you want to eat there, you must mail them a reservation request. Oh, and one other thing: You aren’t allowed to say what dates are convenient for you. That’s a conversation you and the restaurant will have later by phone, if your name is drawn.
(And I’m sure they’d be impressed if I sent my last-minute cancellation via snail-mail too!)
(I hope their food is as fresh as their attitude!)
(Mail them a letter? That pretty much cuts eliminates the 18-40 demographic!)

You didn’t think it was possible, but apparently it can be done. The people at the foodie website ‘Delish’ claim that there is a way to make bacon taste EVEN BETTER – just add water. What you do is this: put bacon in a non-stick pan, and then add just enough water to cover the bottom of the pan. Cook on medium-high, until the water evaporates, then reduce the heat to medium until the bacon is nice and crispy. Not only will your bacon hold its shape better than bacon cooked without water, but in addition to being crispy, it also comes out a little bit chewy, if that’s possible. And an added bonus: no splatter.
(No splatter? Finally I can cook my bacon naked!)
(Wow. And it’s idiot-proof! Challenge accepted.)
(Hey, everything will kill you eventually….might as well choose something delicious!)

Everyone knows that moms are superhuman, so it should come as no surprise that new research shows that being a mom actually works out to having 2½ full time jobs. A survey of 2,000 American moms of children aged five to 12 analyzed their weekly schedule. It revealed that the average daily start time for a mom is 6:23am. Once she has finished all her tasks, whether they are career-related or parenting, she ends her work on average at 8:31pm. And she does it seven days a week. In total, that makes a mother’s working week a whopping 98 hours, or two and a half times more than the average job.
(OK, OK, I’ll spring for the $7 Mother’s Day card!)
(Of course, Mom already knew that….because she knows everything!)

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 7% of women insist on drying their hair before weighing themselves.
• 50% of people don’t wash their produce at home.
• 38% of people would take a pay cut if they could take their pet to work.
• 40% of people say they flip their pillow to the cool side several times a night.
• 21% of adults say they have never watched a cooking show.
• 19% of people cannot name a single author.

Marshall Thundering Herd
South Dakota State Jackrabbits
Iona Gaels
New Mexico State Aggies
Syracuse Orange
St. Bonaventure Bonnies
Oklahoma Sooners
Virginia Tech Hokies
TCU Horned Frogs
Purdue Boilermakers
Virginia State Shockers
– Sourced from ESPN


1947 [71] Glenn Close, Greenwich CT, movie actress (“Guardians Of the Galaxy”, “Fatal Attraction”)/TV actress (“Damages” 2007-12)/Broadway actress (“Sunset Boulevard”)

(***Caution…Don’t say “Happy Birthday” to this guy***):
1952 [66] Harvey Weinstein, Flushing NY, disgraced film producer (“Silver Linings Playbook”, “Pulp Fiction”)/former studio executive (co-founder of Miramax and The Weinstein Company)

1955 [63] Bruce Willis, Idar-Oberstein, Germany, movie actor (“Pulp Fiction”, “Die Hard” series) COMING UP… “The Bombing”, 2018

1976 [42] Zach Lind, Mesa AZ, rock drummer (Jimmy Eat World- ‘The Middle’, ‘Pain’)

• “Last Full Day of Winter”, as “Spring” officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere tomorrow with the Vernal Equinox at 12:15 pm EDT.

• “Chocolate Caramel Day”, an annual celebration of everything great about chocolate and caramel. (Like cavities?)

• “Poultry Day”, celebrating chicken, turkey, and other farm-raised fowl that we commonly consume. Plus, they give us our breakfast eggs. (And if they had a say in it, we’d celebrate by eating pork!)

• “St Joseph’s Day”, the day that the swallows traditionally return to the Mission San Juan Capistrano in California, an excuse for the annual “Fiesta de las Golindrinas”. Every March 19th since 1776 (with few exceptions), the birds have come back to usher in Spring in the Southern California seaside town, and their return is now an annual tourist attraction.

• “Act Happy Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Monday of March, a creation of the optimistic ‘Secret Society of Happy People’ (Those miserable wretches!)

• “Client’s Day”, a day created for the purpose of letting all of your clients know just how glad you are that they’ve chosen your company.

• “Let’s Laugh Day”, laughter decreases stress hormones and increases antibodies, boosting your immunity to all sorts of illness and diseases. Laughing also helps relax your muscles and helps you de-stress. Plus, it improves your blood pressure and decreases pain. And, laughing actually burns calories – how about that?

• “Teenagers Day”, a day to quit picking on them for their awkwardness and angst in striving to become adults and admit that, compared to ourselves at that age, they ain’t so bad after all.

[Tues] Alien Abduction Day
[Tues] The First Day of Spring
[Wed] Memory Day
[Wed] Fragrance Day
This Week Is… Animal Poison Prevention Week
This Month Is… Noodle Month

2009 [09] “Late Show” host David Letterman marries longtime partner Regina Lasko

1957 [61] Elvis Presley buys the ‘Graceland’ estate in Memphis, Tennessee for $100,000 (about the same amount it now rakes in … daily)

1988 [30] Michael Jackson begins construction on his 2,800-acre ranch in Santa Barbara, California which he names ‘Neverland’, after the fantasy location where children never grow up in “Peter Pan”

1990 [28] 1st-ever ‘Women’s World Hockey Tournament’ (won by Canada in Ottawa ON)

2003 [15] USA, along with coalition forces primarily from the UK, initiates ‘Operation Iraqi Freedom’, aka the War on Iraq (well, that went well)


✓ Cats can be allergic to humans.
✓ All peacocks are male. The female version of the bird is called a peahen.
✓ The average dog recognizes around 150 words.
✓ You’re more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark.
✓ Worrying too much is scientifically associated with higher intelligence.
✓The man who invented pop-up ads has apologized to the world for creating one of the Internet’s most hated forms of advertising.

• You used an entire box of condoms and never slept with anyone.
• Next month you have to go back for ‘sentencing’.
• During the 27-hour car trip, your friends insisted on playing their entire collection of karaoke music.
• You first learned that jet skis have no brakes when you smashed into the pier.
• You stayed on campus to take advantage of short cafeteria lines.
• The clinic says your Spring Break ‘souvenir’ will only go away with penicillin.
• You studied a lot.
• You can actually REMEMBER Spring Break.
• Three words — pasty white thighs.

I once nearly had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

What year did the last NHL player to play without a helmet retire?
a. 1939
b. 1961
c. 1997 [CORRECT – Craig MacTavish]
d. 2003

How many moons are there in our solar system?
a. 182 [CORRECT]
b. 101
c. 22
d. 9

What simple thing did you learn at an embarrassingly late age?

Question: Although THIS annual activity likely dates back thousands of years, the 1st recorded mention of it wasn’t until 1857.
Answer: Spring Cleaning.

Marriage is a mutual relationship as long as both parties know when to be mute.

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