Thursday, March 2, 2017 – Edition: #5923

Sheet For Brains!

★ Pop star Katy Perry (31) and actor Orlando Bloom (39) have split after a 15-month relationship, according to a joint statement. Since January last year Bloom and Perry’s relationship was marked by futile early attempts at secrecy, and a very un-secret August incident involving a paddle-boat, a privacy breach, and a problematically-placed paparazzo. Both were previously married: Bloom separated from ex-wife Miranda Kerr in 2013, and Perry endured an acrimonious split from former husband Russell Brand in 2012.
– “Telegraph”
★ With just 6 episodes left in Season 8 of “Modern Family” on ABC-TV, the stars are left with no contracts to continue on to a 9th season. Sofia Vergara, who last year was the highest-paid TV actress for the 5th year in-a-row, and the rest of the cast have been in their roles since 2009. The delay in re-signing the cast is reportedly due to disagreements between the TV network and producer 20th Century Fox TV over the costs of the program. The 2 companies have until mid-May to decide whether the show must go on. Don’t worry … it must.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ The Canadian detective drama “Cardinal” has been renewed for 2 additional 6-episode seasons. Season 2 of the CTV show, which is adapted from author Giles Blunt’s award-winning “John Cardinal Mysteries”, is being filmed this Summer in the northern Ontario cities of Sudbury and North Bay. The 2nd season is inspired by the 3rd novel in the series, “Black Fly Season”. The dramatic crime thriller starring Billy Campbell & Karine Vanasse has been licensed to BBC in the UK, as well as broadcasters in Scandinavia and Spain.
– CP
★ And 49-year-old Jason Statham is perceived to be among the toughest guys in Hollywood, but his 29-year-old Brit model-fiancée Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has debunked the myth, revealing he can’t bear to be apart from his pet poochies and talks to them every day … via Skype. She claims she and Statham enjoy the simple things in life: making dinner, watching movies, or sitting in the garden. Rosie has previously announced via Instagram that she and the “Furious 7” star are expecting their first child after 6 years of dating.
– “C Magazine”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Strumbrellas (“Hope”).
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Future (“Hndrxx”)
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tiger Army (“V …”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Jennifer Lopez (“Shades of Blue” Season 2 debut Sunday).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – The Flaming Lips (“Oczy Mlody”).
• Okeechobee Festival (FL) – The lineup for the 4-day 2017 edition includes an eclectic mix of acts: Cold War Kids, Kings of Leon, The Lumineers, The Roots, Solange, Usher, Wiz Khalifa and more.
• “Simon & Garfunkel: The Concert in Central Park” (PBS) – The ’60s-’70s folk music icons perform for 500,000 fans in NYC’s Central Park in 1981. Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Luke Bryan (“Kill the Lights Tour”). Bryan is the mentor for Blake Shelton’s team on the new season of “The Voice” (NBC).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Vocalists perform for coaches Alicia Keys, Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, and Gwen Stefani.

• Alison Krauss – She sweeps in at #1 on the latest ‘Billboard Country Albums’ chart with “Windy City”, her first solo album (no Union Station here) since “Forget About It” in 1999.
• Blink-182 – Tom DeLonge has been named ‘UFO Researcher Of the Year’ at the 2017 International UFO Congress. The former guitarist and co-vocalist parted ways with the band in 2015 in order to focus on his research.
• The Chainsmokers – Their long awaited album “Memories … Do Not Open” is fully finished. It arrives on April 7.
• Ed Sheeran – The 26-year-old singer-songwriter says he ”definitely” has a new song that’s better than “Thinking Out Loud”. That’s pretty good hype for tomorrow’s release of his 3rd album, “÷” (divide).
• Jason Aldean – The video for “Any Ol Barstool” was filmed at The Dog Tavern in Nashville TN. The song is the 3rd single from the album “They Don’t Know.”
• Lady Gaga – She’s lined up to replace Beyoncé at Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival this April after Bey withdrew due to her pregnancy with twins.
• Merle Haggard – The late country star receives homage in an all-star concert being taped April 6th in Nashville TN. Paying tribute: Willie Nelson, Kenny Chesney, Loretta Lynn. and Miranda Lambert. “Sing Me Back Home: The Music of Merle Haggard” airs later in the year.
• Soundgarden – The veteran rockers have announced a North American tour this April and May. The band is also reportedly working on a follow-up to their 2012 comeback album “King Animal”.
• Tim McGraw – The 49-year-old says he’s eager to test his inner daredevil by tackling a High Altitude Low Opening (HALO) jump. He has little interest in a regular skydive, but would jump at the chance to try a military free-fall, which typically begins above 28,000 ft (8,500 m).
• The Weeknd – He tops the bill alongside Muse and Lorde for this year’s Osheaga Festival in Montréal QC. It runs August 4-6.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Deadpool 2” – Kerry Washington (“Scandal”) is a frontrunner to land the role of female assassin ‘Domino’ in the upcoming sequel. Ryan Reynolds returns as the titular anti-hero and his alter ego ‘Wade Wilson’. Longtime ‘Deadpool’ ally ‘Cable’ is also expected to be introduced to fans in the next movie. Recent reports suggest Pierce Brosnan has landed that role.
• “Godzilla: King Of Monsters” – 51-year-old actor Kyle Chandler (“Manchester By the Sea”) has reportedly accepted a deal to star as a scientist in this upcoming monster movie sequel following the recent signing of 13-year-old “Stranger Things” star Millie Bobby Brown, who will portray his daughter. Also in the cast: Ken Watanabe, Vera Farmiga. The film’s due in 2019.
• “The Last Jedi” – This year’s Oscars are just behind us but JJ Abrams is already predicting Mark Hamill will be in the running for an award next year for his role of ‘Luke Skywalker’ in the next “Star Wars” film. Abrams rebooted the franchise with “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” in 2015 and is producing the new sequel. “The Last Jedi” hits theaters this December.
• “Light of My Life” – Oscar-winner Casey Affleck (“Manchester By the Sea”) has begun shooting his 3rd directorial venture, in which he also stars and serves as screenwriter. The intense drama centers on the predicament of a young girl and her father who find themselves stuck in a forest following the rapid spread of a virulent disease that’s changing the world.

The Women’s March organizers are rallying women worldwide for a March 8th strike … a day of ‘love and liberation’ meant to underscore the systemic gender inequalities that still exist, from the wage gap to sexual harassment. To participate in “A Day Without A Woman”, they are calling on supporters to take the day off work (paid or unpaid), not spend money, and wear red in solidarity. But while taking a day off is theoretically everyone’s right, in reality it’s not always easy. To that end the Women’s March organizers have written a letter to employers on strikers’ behalf in order to explain the meaning of the day. You can download it and print it out on the organization’s website.

• Whoopi Goldberg doesn’t have eyebrows.
• People being interviewed these days answer every question with “So …”
• In every scene of “Ocean’s Eleven”, Brad Pitt is eating something.
• Cartoon characters usually have only 3 fingers and a thumb on each hand.
• Peoples’ eyes are in the middle of their head, halfway between the chin and the crown.
• Stephen Colbert is missing part of an ear.
• People tend to open their eyes really wide when they go for a big bite of something.
• Chris Brown has a lisp.
• Squeaky shoes during a basketball game.
• Laugh tracks on TV.
– Sourced from

A Jimmy Buffett-inspired “Margaritaville” retirement complex is coming to Florida. If you’ve always wanted to retire in a Disneyland for tequila-drinking beach bums, now’s your chance to get in on the ground floor. Inspired by Buffett’s 1977 hit about drowning your sorrows with sun, sand, and margaritas, ‘Latitude Margaritaville’ is a mixed-use seniors development currently under construction in Daytona Beach. The $1 billion walk-able community will have 6,900 homes, 200,000 sq ft of retail, a pool, fitness center, and a beach shuttle. It’s also being touted as “an immersive brand experience” with an outdoor music venue and “signature Margaritaville food and beverage concepts”. (This guy has made soooo much money from a mediocre song.)

Stats show that 1-in-4 people in their 20s and early 30s are now back in the parental home. So how can you have a sex life if you’ve moved back in with your parents? Picture yourself having sex. Now, picture your parents. Repugnant, correct? A few ideas …
✓ Start by turning down the volume. Quiet sex is not always easy, but it’s hot.
✓ Schedule your trysts around parental date nights. They go to the movies, you go to heaven.
✓ Get out of your squeaky bed and try something more solid … the floor, the wall, the desk you never once used for homework.
✓ There is one more option – tell your parents that you are having sex. Hard to believe but they were young and virile once too.
(Lucky you, your lovemaking is now performed in your childhood bedroom under the watchful gaze of 27 Beanie Babies.)
– Adapted from

Aggressive drivers think driverless cars will be easier to bully on the road.
– “Financial Times”


1962 [55] Jon Bon Jovi, Perth Amboy NJ, pop singer (w/Jennifer Nettles-“Who Says You Can’t Go Home”, Bon Jovi-“Always”)

1968 [49] Daniel Craig, Chester UK, movie actor (“Skyfall”, “Casino Royale”)

1977 [40] Chris Martin, Exeter UK, pop singer (Coldplay-“Viva La Vida”, “Clocks”)

1981 [36] Bryce Dallas Howard, LA CA, movie actress (“Jurassic World”, “The Help”) UP NEXT: “Jurassic World 2” 2018.

1982 [35] Ben Roethlisberger, Lima OH, NFL QB (2 wins in 3 Super Bowls with Pittsburgh Steelers 2006, 2009, 2011)

1989 [28] Nathalie Emmanuel, Southend-on-Sea UK (‘Missandei’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2013) COMING UP: “The Fate Of the Furious” April 14th.

• “Chocolate Mousse Day”, celebrating the divine French dessert Mousse au Chocolat. A few facts …
– The word ‘mousse’ is a French word that means foam, so Mousse au Chocolat means chocolate foam.
– When mousse first hit the culinary scene in 1894 it was reserved for savory dishes like fish and vegetables.
– In the early 1900s, famed French artist Toulouse Lautrec had the brilliant idea of mixing in chocolate to the graceful and airy invention.
– Thankfully the name that he first gave it, ‘Mayonnaise de Chocolat’, has not survived.

• “Dr Seuss Day”, celebrating the 1904 birth of Theodor Seuss Geisel in Springfield MA, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of children’s books that include “The Cat In the Hat,” “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!” and many other classics. He died in 1991.

• “Old Stuff Day”, either a celebration of antiques or perhaps … dating a cougar?

2009 [08] “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” premieres on NBC-TV as the new host takes over for Conan O’Brien (who moves to the “Tonight Show” … temporarily)

2014 [03] “20 Feet From Stardom”, a documentary film about backup singers featuring Darlene Love and Lisa Fischer, wins the Oscar for ‘Best Documentary’ (BS recommended viewing on Netflix)

2008 [09] Canadian blues rocker Jeff Healey dies of cancer at age 41 in Toronto ON

2014 [03] Fast-food chain Arby’s buys the hat Pharrell Williams wore to the Grammys on eBay for $44,100 and donates it to the Newseum in Washington DC

1989 [28] “Like a Prayer” becomes the 1st hit song to debut in a commercial, as it’s used in a 2-minute Pepsi ad starring Madonna

2013 [04] New findings from the University of Leicester indicate that decreasing sitting time by 90 minutes per day can result in major heath advantages

1962 [55] Philadelphia Warriors center Wilt Chamberlain scores a pro basketball record 100 points vs the NY Knicks (breaking his own record of 78 set earlier the same season)

[Fri] “Logan”; “The Shack” open in movie theaters
[Fri] World Wildlife Day
[Sat] March Forth, Do Something Day
[Sat] Frozen Food Day
[Sun] “iHeartRadio Music Awards” (TBS/TNT)
[Sun] Daughters & Sons Day
This Week Is … Write a Letter of Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month


✓ Break it up into a couple of manageable 50-year chunks.
✓ Get at least 23 hours of sleep a night.
✓ Have a motivational goal such as outliving that young punk Betty White.
✓ Maintain daily exercise such as walking to the liquor store.
✓ Forget all that inspirational crap … sweat the small stuff.
✓ Stay the hell away from the ‘Hindenberg’.
✓ Don’t let the Academy Awards people get hold of your publicity photo.
✓ Avoid dying.

☎ Should leggings be worn as pants?

Which painter was a Spaniard?
a. El Greco
b. Salvador Dalí [CORRECT]
c. Vincent van Gogh
d. Leonardo Da Vinci

If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

Question: According to research, moms say THIS 122 times per year on average.
Answer: “Clean your room!”

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

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