Tuesday, March 20, 2012        Edition: #4709

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

Jennifer Lopez tells the new “Vogue” her busy work life has helped her deal with her split from Marc Anthony last July, as she’s since done 3 movies [“Ice Age: Continental Drift”, “Parker”, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”], and appeared on 2 TV series [“American Idol”, “¡Q’Viva!: The Chosen”] (then gone home to her lonely bed – wait a sec, that’s not what happened …) . . . Simon Cowell is considering axing the UK version of “The X Factor” if ratings continue to fall under head judge Gary Barlow, lead singer of Take That (unless things turn around in the next season, the US version is likely in jeopardy as well) . . . Speaking of which, George Clooney’s current GF Stacy Keibler is said to be in talks to join the US “X” as either a judge or perhaps host (a former wrestler judging a singing competition?) . . . Brit actor Russell Brand has now hired a lawyer to fight a felony charge levied by New Orleans police following that harebrained incident last week when he threw a photog’s iPhone through a window (he’s facing up to 2 years behind bars) . . . Single parent January Jones is crediting her busy workload mothering her 6-month-old son Xander for her stunning post-pregnancy figure (well that and the fact she had to look good for the new “Mad Men” season, beginning Sunday) . . . Donald Trump is set to release a new fragrance called ‘Success by Trump’, which is described as an ‘aspirational international scent’ (BS translation: It smells like money) . . . Hugh Jackman says he wants to punch co-star Russell Crowe ‘as many times as possible’ so he keeps asking to re-shoot fight sequences during the current filming of “Les Miserables” (hey, give him one for us!) . . . A sequel to “21 Jump Street” has been commissioned following its successful opening weekend ($42 million worldwide), with Jonah Hill already aboard and Channing Tatum expected to follow (“22 Jump Street”?) . . . And “Variety” reports that Rosie O’Donnell’s latest (lamest?) talk show has been axed by OWN due a 59% loss in ratings over its first 5 months, so the final episode of “The Rosie Show” will air March 30th (this is shocking – what took so long?).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Birdy (“Birdy”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Geezer-rockers KISS.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Melanie Fiona (“The MF Life”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The Shins (“Port Of Morrow”, released today). The “Live On Letterman” webcast series features them live in concert at 9 pm ET.
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Lionel Richie (“Tuskegee”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Meat Loaf (“Hell In a Handbasket”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – The Wanted (“Battleground”).


• Adam Lambert – Today he releases his sophomore album, “Trespassing”, which he says ‘honestly explores the ups and downs of his reality’.
• Adele – She reportedly wants to lose weight and has adopted a new fitness regime in a bid to drop 2 dress sizes before Summer. It could be tough though …. she’s also quit smoking.
• Daughtry – Tonight the first leg of their intimate theater tour in support of the new album “Break the Spell” begins in Buffalo NY. $1 from every ticket sold goes to Malaria No More.
• Lil Twist – Today the Young Money rapper releases his debut album “Don’t Get It Twisted”, which features the track “Wherever You Are”, a collaboration with Justin Bieber.
• Madonna – Tonight the video for her new single “Girl Gone Wild” premieres on the E! network. It was recorded in NYC and London. Madonna’s new album, “MDNA”, is due March 26th.
• Pitbull – He’s responded to Lindsay Lohan’s lawsuit over his song “Give Me Everything” by noting that TV/radio host Ryan Seacrest is also mentioned on the track but he took it in good humor. Lohan is suing for alleged defamation over her portrayal in the lyrics. (The difference is … Seacrest has money.)
• Taylor Swift – She performed the live debut of “Eyes Open”, her song from the “Hunger Games” soundtrack at a gig in Auckland, New Zealand on Sunday. The album, titled “The Hunger Games: Songs From District 12 and Beyond”, is officially out today.


• “Carnage” ( R-Rated Dramedy ): Director Roman Polanski’s story follows the 4 parents of 2 boys who’ve been involved in a fight. As they meet to cordially find solutions to the problem, their increasingly childish behavior throws the evening into chaos. Stars Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz, John C Reilly.
• “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” ( R-Rated Thriller ): Daniel Craig stars as journalist ‘Mikael Blomkvist’, who’s aided in his search for a missing woman by quirky computer hacker ‘Lisbeth Salander’ (Rooney Mara). An English-language adaptation of Stieg Larsson’s best-seller that isn’t quite up to the standard set by the Swedish film. Co-stars Stellan Skarsgard, Robin Wright.
• “The Muppets” ( Animated Comedy ): New character ‘Walter’ joins Jason Segel (who co-wrote the script) & Amy Adams in reuniting ‘Kermit the Frog’, ‘Miss Piggy’, ‘Fozzie Bear’ and the rest of their felt friends in an effort to save their old theater. Cast also includes Chris Cooper, Rashida Jones.
• “The Sitter” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Would you leave your children in the care of Jonah Hill? He plays a college student on suspension who is coaxed into babysitting the kids next door, though he’s fully unprepared for the wild night ahead of him. In a recent interview, Hill suggested he was done with comedy films and would pursue dramas from now on.
• “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” ( R-Rated Thriller ): In this adaptation of the 1974 John le Carré thriller, Gary Oldman plays ‘George Smiley’, a British MI6 operative tasked with uncovering a Soviet mole during the bleakest days of the Cold War. The role won him an Oscar nomination. Co-stars Colin Firth, Tom Hardy.
• Also released today: “The Adventures of Tintin: Season 2” (Animation); “Kojak: Season 3” (Vintage TV); “Scarecrow & Mrs King: The Complete 3rd Season” (Vintage TV); and “The War Room” (Documentary).


University of California professor James Fowler says friendships have an enormous effect on the quality of our lives. With growing numbers of people living alone, either by choice or circumstance, friendships can occupy the emotional space that other people fill with spouses or significant others. At the end of the day, a friend can be the emotional oasis that makes all the difference. And, the prof notes, friends are what make us uniquely human. No other species interacts so widely with other members of their species. (Dogs don’t ‘friend’ each other, they just sniff.)
– “US News & World Report”


A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 70% of females & 67% of males say they’ve received an ‘explicit’ electronic message.
• 55% of us admit that we cut our own hair as a child … at least once.
• 35% of married men say they always ask their wives before adjusting the thermostat.
• 30% of working women say they always have their workout gear with them, either in the car or at the office.
• 20% of us have listed ‘learn to play a musical instrument’ as a future goal.
• 18% of us have actually called in sick after waking up to find … we’re out of coffee.


Why do we willingly subject ourselves, again and again, to sad stories? Ohio State University researchers think they may have found the answer. It seems that watching tragedy inspires self-reflection, which in turn causes us to refocus on the people in our lives we might otherwise take for granted. Thus the melancholy emotions sad stories arouse ultimately provoke pleasant feelings of gratitude for the close relationships that we have in real life. And that makes us feel happy and fulfilled. (That’s why you take your date to a real tear-jerker movie … she’ll love you for it.)
– Miller-McCune.com


One ranking of the greatest two-hankie films ever …
1. “Titanic”
2. “The Green Mile”
3. “A Walk to Remember”
4. “Grave Of the Fireflies”
5. “The Notebook”
(Hey, what about “Bambi”?).
– The-Top-Tens.com


In 2008, the UK became one of the first in Europe to make it mandatory for cigarette packs to display graphic anti-smoking images, based on the assumption that fear is an effective method to encourage smokers to quit. However, a recent series of experiments conducted at Britain’s Canterbury Christ Church University has consistently revealed that fear provoked by graphic images has no effect on smokers’ intentions to quit. Instead, smokers seem more willing to consider quitting due to non-smokers’ negative attitudes toward their habit. (Rather than a blackened lung, they should put a pic on the pack of your sister frowning.)
– SciTechDaily.com


“Most things in music, fashion, or TV tend to be across a 10-year period. The great test of success is if you can transcend a decade.”
– Simon Cowell in “Live” magazine.

Late martial arts star Bruce Lee was so fast, in some movies they had to slow the film down so the audience could see his moves.
– Fightingmaster.com


1950 [62] William Hurt, Washington DC, movie actor (“Into the Wild”, Oscar-“Kiss Of the Spiderwoman”)/TV actor (“Too Big to Fail”, “Damages”)

1957 [55] Spike (Shelton) Lee, Atlanta GA, movie director (“Inside Man”, “Malcolm X”)/movie producer (“Kobe Doin’ Work”, “When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts”)/movie actor (“Do the Right Thing”)

1958 [54] Holly Hunter, Conyers GA, movie actress (“Thirteen”, Oscar-“The Piano”)/TV actress (“Saving Grace” 2007-10)

1972 [40] Alex Kapranos, Almondsbury UK, indie rock singer/guitarist (Franz Ferdinand-“No You Girls”, “Take Me Out”)

1976 [36] Chester Bennington, Phoenix AZ, rock singer (Linkin Park-“What I’ve Done”, “Numb”)

1982 [30] Nick Wheeler, Stillwater OK, rock guitarist (All-American Rejects-“Gives You Hell”, “Dirty Little Secret”)


• “Atheist Pride Day”, an unofficial salute to non-believers that many mark by changing their Facebook profile picture to a stylized capital ‘A’. Green is the chosen color for the day, standing for ‘natural’ as opposed to ‘supernatural’.

• “Extraterrestrial Abductions Day”, honoring all wackos who claim they’ve been kidnapped by aliens.

• “First Day of Spring”, as the new season officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere with the Vernal Equinox this morning at 1:14 am EDT.

• “Nowruz” (“New Day”), the Persian New Year. The date is determined by the solar calendar and begins on the First Day of Spring. The festival lasts 13 days.

• “Proposal Day”, when both men & women are encouraged to pop the big question. (Who do you think are the most eligible celebrity singles?)

• “Single Parents Day”, honoring those who have the fortitude to be sole provider for their families.

• “World Storytelling Day”, a global celebration of the art of oral storytelling, celebrated every year on March 20th.


1964 [48] TV game show “Jeopardy!” debuts, with Art Fleming as host (Alex Trebek now hosts the revival that began in 1984) See BULL’S BITS

2002 [10] Actress Pamela Anderson discloses that she has hepatitis C (doesn’t mention any of the other diseases)


1982 [30] “I Love Rock ‘n Roll” by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts hits #1 on pop charts and stays 7 weeks


1897 [115] Yale beats Penn 32-10 in 1st known ‘Intercollegiate Basketball Game’ (the original ‘March Madness’)

1999 [13] Hot air balloon piloted by Brian Jones of England & Bertrand Piccard of Switzerland completes ‘Nonstop Around-the-World Flight’

[Wed] Canadian Music Week begins (Toronto)
[Wed] International Day For the Elimination of Racial Discrimination
[Wed] Common Courtesy Day
[Wed] World Down Syndrome Day
[Thurs] Letting Go of Stuff Day
[Thurs] International Goof-off Day
This Week Is … Act Happy Week
This Month Is … Music In Our Schools Month


Just like on TV – you give the answer, your contestants must supply the question. When they can’t, you fill in the zinger …
• The answer is Hugh Jackman, Marlboro, and Kim Kardashian.
[Name a bloke, a smoke, and a complete joke.]
• The answer is Mount Baldy.
[How do you play piggyback with Dr Phil?]
• The answer is A, B, C, D, E, F, G.]
[What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?]
• The answer is Cyclone.
[What do call the clone of a guy named ‘Cy’?]
• The answer is Henry R Block.
[Name one guy who’s richer after tax season.]
• The answer is Gatorade.
[What does an alligator get on welfare?]
• The answer is a Full Moon.
[What would you see if Kevin James dropped his pants?
• The answer is crabgrass.
[What do crabs get high on?]
• The answer is ‘Follow the yellow brick road’.
[What are good directions to a urologist’s office?]
• The answer is igloo.
[What do you use to keep your ‘ig’ from falling off?]
Get the “Jeopardy” theme music here …
NET: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXGhvoekY44


• Ah, it’s Spring! I can hardly wait to get home and jump-start my Weed Whacker.
• Spring cleaning means throwing out everything you don’t want … like your 30-year-old son.


☎ How much money would you need to be paid to go to work naked? (In a recent poll, 84% of men and 20% of women say they’d do it for $1 million.)


Question: THIS service has seen the biggest drop in price of any over the past 100 years.
Answer: Long distance calling.


Tears are the hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

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