March 20 2018

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Tuesday, March 20, 2018 – Edition: #6180

Sheet for Brains!

★ Prince Harry has reportedly decided not to sign a prenuptial agreement before his May 19 wedding to Meghan Markle. A source says, “There was never any question in Harry’s mind that he would sign a prenup. He’s determined that his marriage will be a lasting one, so there’s no need for him to sign anything.” The British newspaper ‘The Daily Mail’ says that Prince Harry has a $14 million inheritance from Princess Diana, as well as an estimated $28 million in further assets. In comparison, Markle is said to be worth around $5 million from her acting career and paid endorsements. In the U.K., pre-nups aren’t as common as in the U.S., and aren’t always enforceable by law.
(So, no big Harry deal?)
★ ‘The Lord Of The Rings’ has been a hugely popular story ever since J.R.R. Tolkien’s novel series hit shelves. Now, Amazon is bringing the story to the small screen. Amazon is currently developing two seasons of the ‘Lord Of The Rings’ television series. It’s the first time the story will be adapted for TV. And they aren’t messing around. Reports are that Amazon has OK’d a budget of $500 million for the first two seasons. That’s in addition to the $250 million they paid for the rights to the ‘LOTR’ property.
★ Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan has finally admitted his reason for deciding to end the show in 2013 after a modest five-season run. He told Digital Spy that as someone who was making money from the show, he would have loved for it to go on forever. But he says he learned a lesson from working on the ‘X-Files’ for several years, when he says he “looked up one day, and realized that everybody else was watching something else entirely. I learned at that point: you don’t want to leave the party too late. You want to leave folks wanting more.” Gilligan says that with ‘Breaking Bad’, he was “very anxious about the idea of folks suddenly moving on, and saying, ‘Is that show still on the air?’.” Gilligan says he prefers people to say, ‘Don’t end it now!’ and he is thankful that’s what happened with Breaking Bad.
(Hey, at least we still have ‘Better Call Saul’!)
★ “Manchester by the Sea” star Lucas Hedges is to star as Shia LaBeouf in a new biopic. The 21-year-old, who was nominated for an Oscar last year, will play a teenage version of the troubled actor in “Honey Boy”, a drama written by LaBeouf about his relationship with his father. Honey Boy was the nickname given to him by his father, and LaBeouf has previously described how he attended 12-step programs with his father, a former clown performer and recovering heroin addict.
★ Will and Grace’s return to TV doesn’t look to be all that temporary. NBC has announced that it has committed to a third season of the revived sitcom, its 11th season overall. The new Will & Grace ranks as NBC’s No. 1 comedy and the No. 2 comedy, overall, on TV.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Katie Couric, Judd Apatow, the Decemberists
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): John Boyega, Bob Saget, PRhyme featuring 2 Chainz
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Hilary Swank, Thomas Middleditch, Rory Albanese
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Oliver, Laura Benanti, Blake Shelton, Lil’ John Roberts
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Dakota Fanning, Will Forte, Iggy Azalea
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Bill Hader, Alexandra Shipp, Natalie Prass
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Erika Jayne, RuPaul
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Charlotte Pence
• “The Talk” (CBS): Peter Bergman, Amelia Heinle, Bryton James, Mishael Morgan, Jason Thompson, Gina Tognoni, Nischelle Turner
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): John Boyega, Patti Labelle, Rick Schwartz, guest co-host Maria Menounos
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): John Oliver
• “The Voice” (NBC): The battle round continues and the coaches enlist the help of top recording artists as advisers.

• Adele – her Las Vegas residency is reportedly in doubt because she’s worried the climate would damage her voice. She was said to have been lining up a 12-month deal for $500,000 per show at the Wynn Hotel but she’s hesitating because she’s concerned the Nevada desert conditions could cause vocal problems.
• Rihanna – Snapchat’s market value has dropped almost $1 billion after she criticized the social media platform for making light of domestic violence. Rihanna lashed out at the company for an ad that encouraged users to either ‘Slap Rihanna’ or ‘Punch Chris Brown’. The ad was met by a huge backlash among users.
• Ruben Studdard – has released ‘Ruben Sings Luther’, a tribute album to Luther Vandross. Studdard says he’s been listening Vandross since he was a boy. Studdard also has a 22-city tour planned, starting April 8 in Sacramento, California, in which he aims to come as close as possible to the shows the always tuxedo-clad Vandross put on during his heyday – from costumes to choreography.
• The Roots – their Saturday SXSW show in Austin, TX was cancelled after a bomb threat. A 26 year-old has been arrested.
• David Bowie – a fan has launched a campaign to have the English town of Aylesbury renamed “Aylesbowie” in the late artist’s honor. This comes after David Stopps ran a successful crowdfunding appeal to have a Bowie statue placed in the town. It will be unveiled on March 25.
• Pearl Jam – Eddie Vedder got a little wild during their set at Lollapalooza Chile on Friday. After asking a crowd member to toss a Donald Trump clown mask on stage, Vedder proceeded to shake his rump for the audience and guzzle wine straight from the bottle through the mask.
• Mötley Crüe – Tommy Lee’s battery case against his son is “headed to the DA Office”. It seems Brandon hasn’t apologized to his dad for punching him in the face. But even if he did, it’s too late for Tommy to withdraw battery charges against him.
• Chris Young – ‘Porter’, his new German Shepherd puppy is not only a recent grad of canine boot camp, but he also has his own Instagram account…with more than 40,000 followers, at last check.
• Keith Urban – revealed at SXSW that his next album ‘Graffiti U’ is coming soon, and it will feature a song which he says is written from the perspective of a fan in the crowd. (Is it called ‘Twelve Dollar Beer’?)

• “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): Four teenagers are sucked into a magical video game, and the only way they can escape is to work together to finish the game. (Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan, Kevin Hart)
• “Pitch Perfect 3” (PG-13, Comedy): Following their win at the world championship, the now separated Bellas reunite for one last singing competition at an overseas USO tour, but face a group who uses both instruments and voices. (Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Brittany Snow)
• “Downsizing” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama): A social satire in which a man realizes he would have a better life if he were to shrink himself to five inches tall, allowing him to live in wealth and splendor. (Matt Damon, Christoph Waltz)
• “Small Town Crime” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery): An alcoholic ex-cop finds the body of a young woman and, through an act of self-redemption, becomes hell-bent on finding the killer but unwittingly puts his family in danger and gets caught up with several dark characters along the way. (John Hawkes, Anthony Anderson, Octavia Spencer)
• “The Vanishing of Sidney Hall” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery): Sidney Hall finds accidental success and unexpected love at an early age, then disappears without a trace. (Michelle Monaghan, Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler)

One of the coolest things about eating vegetables is the fact that eating asparagus makes your pee smell bad. Don’t worry, it’s not just you. In fact, in a letter written in 1781, Benjamin Franklin wrote that “a few stems of asparagus eaten, shall give our urine a disagreeable odor.” But why? It all boils down to a chemical compound called ‘asparagusic acid’ , which can only be found in asparagus, which explains why no other vegetable has the same stinky effect. When you digest asparagus, it creates volatile sulfur-containing compounds as it breaks down, resulting in the unpleasant odor. Funny enough, stinky pee, like my jokes, not everyone gets. Scientists say that nearly 40% of us either can’t or aren’t able to detect anything unusual in their urine after eating asparagus. A study suggested it wasn’t clear whether participants simply couldn’t smell it, or didn’t produce the compounds. But funky odors aside, asparagus is loaded with vitamins, fiber, and antioxidants, making it an important vegetable to keep in your diet.
(Asparagusic acid? Where do you suppose they got the name for that?)
(I just discovered what kind of scientist I DON’T want to be!)
(But in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t ALL pee smell bad?)

In many areas the ‘running of the sap’ is a sure sign of Spring. A few truths about the ‘liquid gold’ it’s made into …
• Most maple trees only yield 5-to-15 gallons of sap per season.
• It takes roughly 40 gallons of sap to make 1 gallon (about 4 L) of maple syrup.
• High-quality maple syrup is composed, at minimum, of 66% sugar.
• Sap-gathering pumps have replaced traditional taps and buckets throughout North America.
• The International Maple Syrup Institute was founded in 1975 to promote and protect pure maple syrup and other maple syrup products.
• 80% of the world’s supply comes from Canada, two-thirds of it from the province of Québec.
• Canada’s grading system includes 4 hue-related categories: Extra Light (AA), Light (A), Medium (B), #2 Amber ( C ), and #3 Dark (D).
• Fake maple syrup contains fructose, corn syrup, cellulose gum, and caramel coloring.
– Sourced from

BEST JOBS TO GET INTO IN 2018 (and they’re not all in tech!):
With base salary and % increase in job postings for this career . . .
1. Commercial Project Manager $81,023 (+277%)
2. Full Stack Developer $111,640 (+198%)
3. Computer Vision Engineer $131,297 (+169%)
4. Machine Learning Engineer $136,241 (+166%)
5. Preconstruction Manager $95,337 (+126%)
6. Construction Superintendent $85,170 (+122%)
7. Optometrist $131,692 (+118%)
8. Data Scientist $132,915 (+106%)
9. Chief Estimator $116,848 (+101%)
10. Development Operations Engineer $125,714 (+91%)
(I’m going to Google whatever the heck it is that a ‘Full Stack Developer’ does right after my shift!)


1948 [70] Bobby Orr, Parry Sound, ON, retired pro hockey player (Legendary defenceman for Boston Bruins who revolutionized the position, 2-time scoring leader, 2-time Stanley Cup winner)/Hockey Hall of Fame 1979/now runs a player agency firm

1950 [68] William Hurt, Washington DC, movie actor (“Captain America: Civil War”, “Kiss Of the Spiderwoman”)/TV actor (“Too Big to Fail”, “Damages”)

1957 [61] Spike (Shelton) Lee, Atlanta GA, movie director (“Ali”, “Malcolm X”)/movie producer (“Kobe Doin’ Work”)/movie actor (“Do the Right Thing”)

1958 [60] Holly Hunter, Conyers GA, movie actress (“Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”, “The Piano”) COMING UP… “The Incredibles 2”, 2018

1963 [55] Kathleen Marie “Kathy” Ireland, Glendale CA, model/actress/author/entrepreneur (as a supermodel in the 1980s and 1990s, appeared in 13 consecutive Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues)

1972 [46] Alex Kapranos, Almondsbury UK, indie rock singer-guitarist (Franz Ferdinand-‘No You Girls’, ‘Take Me Out’)

1982 [36] Nick Wheeler, Stillwater OK, rock guitarist (All-American Rejects-‘Gives You Hell’, ‘Dirty Little Secret’)

1986 [32] Ruby Rose, Melbourne, Australia, TV actress (“Orange Is the New Black” 2015-16)/movie actress (“John Wick: Chapter 2”, “Pitch Perfect 3”)/fashion model

• “First Day of Spring”, as the new season officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere with the Vernal Equinox this afternoon at 12:15pm EDT. What does it mean? Our hours of daylight have been growing slightly longer each day since the Winter Solstice in December, which is the shortest day of the year. After three months of lengthening days, beginning today, we finally mark the turning point when period of light exceeds the period of darkness. Today marks the beginning of Autumn in the Southern Hemisphere, although some countries observe the meteorogical beginning of Fall on March 1.

• “Atheist Pride Day”, an unofficial salute to non-believers that many mark by changing their Facebook profile picture to a stylized capital ‘A’. Green is the chosen color for the day, standing for ‘natural’ as opposed to ‘supernatural’.

• “Extraterrestrial Abductions Day”, honoring all those who claim they’ve been abducted by aliens. (Hey, I’m as fascinated with alien abductions as the next guy, but let’s not get carried away!)

• “Great American Meat Out”, a grassroots movement encouraging us to try going meatless at least for one day. (I tried going meatless for a day once. Worst month of my life!)

• “International Day of Happiness”, adopted in 2012 by the UN in acknowledgment that the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental human goal.

• “Proposal Day”, when both men and women are encouraged to pop the big question. Coincidentally it’s also “Kiss Your Fiancée Day”.

• “World Storytelling Day”, a global celebration of the art of oral storytelling.

[Wed] Kick Butts Day
[Wed] Common Courtesy Day
[Thurs] Goof-off Day
[Thurs] World Water Day

2015 [03] FOX-TV airs the series finalé of the musical show “Glee”, an episode entitled “Dreams Come True”

2017 [01] Rihanna begins her stint as Marion Crane on “Bates Motel”, a role originated by Janet Leigh as the infamous shower-stabbing victim in the Alfred Hitchcock thriller “Psycho”.

1991 [27] 1991 Eric Clapton’s 4-year-old son, Conor, dies after falling out of a window at his mother’s apartment. Clapton later writes “Tears In Heaven” about Conor.

2003 [15] Bruce Springsteen opens his Melbourne, Australia gig with an acoustic version of “Born In the USA” followed by Edwin Starr’s “War” as the US begins military operations in Iraq, with help from the Australia, Poland, and the UK

1917 [101] The 1st patent for the ‘zipper’ is granted to Gideon Sundback

2009 [09] Barack Obama appears on NBC-TV’s long-running “Tonight Show”, the 1st sitting US president to do so

2012 [06] The movie “John Carter” (starring Taylor Kitsch) becomes one of the biggest losers in cinema history as Disney takes a $200 million write-down on the film

2015 [03] The equinox, a solar eclipse, and a super-Moon all occur on the same day


✓ All-Bran cereal is only 87% bran.
✓ As global temperatures rise, flowers are emitting less scent.
✓ Amazon’s largest warehouse is the size of 17 American football fields.
✓ A single human being’s DNA contains as much information as fifty novels.
✓ Every minute, more than 100 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube.
✓ One of the late Stephen Hawking’s widely-accepted theories is that black holes aren’t black.

• Maternity leave would last two years….with full pay.
•There would be a cure for stretch marks.
• Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
• Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.
• All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.
• Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.
• Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
• Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.
• Paternity suits would be a fashion line.
• Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees.
• Women would rule the world.

• You dance and it makes the band skip.
• You are diagnosed with flesh-eating disease, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
• You put mayonnaise on aspirin.
• You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
• Your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”
• You run away and they have to use all 4 sides of the milk carton for your picture.
• You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
• Your blood type is Ragu.
-First published in BS in 2010

Finish this sentence: You know a person is NOT married when . . .

Whenever I see someone with one eye, I ask them if it was all fun and games up to that point.

Question: 60% of people judge a first date by this. What is it?
Answer: What they order to drink

You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

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