Monday, March 21, 2011        Edition: #4466
Nothin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!

• Wyclef Jean has been shot in the hand in his native Haiti. Reports emerged shortly after midnight Sunday suggesting his car had come under attack and was peppered with bullets as he was being driven through Port-au-Prince alongside hip-hop pal Busta Rhymes. Jean is said to be in a stable condition after being treated at a local hospital. He was in the country to support presidential candidate Michel ‘Bald Head’ Martelly in yesterday’s election.
• The first images of Adrianne Palicki in her figure-hugging costume as the new “Wonder Woman” have hit the Internet, thereby raising the temperatures of geeks worldwide. The 27-year-old actress will star in the new David E Kelley-produced TV pilot, alongside Cary Elwes and Brit actress Elizabeth Hurley, who’ll play the boss of a pharmaceutical company that’s creating a drug that makes people stronger. No air date has yet been announced.
• Billy Ray Cyrus tells “The View” his divorce is off. Though he was estranged for a time from his 17-year wife Tish, he’s now decided to drop the divorce and work on putting the family back together. He’s also ‘set the record straight’ by saying it wasn’t Disney or “Hannah Montana” that tore his family apart, but (Miley’s) fame. Now he says, for the first time he and the entire family are ‘really communicating with each other’ and ‘things are the best they’ve ever been’.
• 20-year-old actor Alex Pettyfer, who was hailed as ‘the new Robert Pattinson’ just weeks ago, is now in the less-than-enviable position of headlining back-to-back movie disappointments. “I Am Number Four” opened softly (to put it gently) and “Beastly” bombed outright, barely cracking the $20-million mark. At one point he was rumored to be under consideration for the a lead role in “The Hunger Games”, the eagerly anticipated adaptation of Suzanne Collins’ futuristic novel. Whether that’s still the case is unknown.
– QMI Agency
• Word has it accused jewelry thief Lindsay Lohan’s confidence is starting to wane and she’s finally accepting the fact she can’t avoid jail. She’s said to be ‘seriously considering’ taking a plea deal that includes 3 months behind bars, which would get whittled down to 19 days due to overcrowding. If she lost at trial, she could get more than a year in jail for probation violation plus extra time for felony grand theft. If she accepts the plea deal, her mouthpiece must inform the judge this Wednesday.

• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Avril Lavigne (“Goodbye Lullaby”).
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Steve Martin & The Steep Canyon Rangers (“Rare Bird Alert”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV): The 2-hour Season 12 premiere introduces new C-list celebs that include NFL player Hines Ward, former Playmate Kendra Wilkinson, “Fat Actress” Kirstie Alley, original “Karate Kid” actor Ralph Macchio, model Petra Nemcova, and former boxer Sugar Ray Leonard.
• “Gayle King” (OWN) – Jennifer Hudson (“I Remember Me”).
• “The Hobbit” – After a series of setbacks, the 2-part movie adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s classic is scheduled to begin filming again in New Zealand today.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Brett Dennen (“Loverboy”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (“Beat the Devil’s Tattoo”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Little Dragon (“Ritual Union”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – British Sea Power (“Valhalla Dancehall”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Cher (“You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – 30 Seconds to Mars (“This Is War”).
• Points of Light Institute Tribute Event (Washington DC) – Tonight 86-year-old former president George H Bush is honored for his legacy of promoting volunteer work with an all-star concert that includes performances by Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Cee Lo Green, Darius Rucker, Kid Rock, Reba McEntire, and Sheryl Crow. The gala will air March 28th on NBC-TV.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Raphael Saadiq (“Stone Rollin’”).
• “Yonge Street: Toronto Rock & Roll Stories” (Bravo) – Part 1 of a new 3-part Bruce McDonald documentary airing on consecutive nights deals with the 1955-60 era and includes rare archival footage and interviews. Part 2 covers 1960-65, Part 3 1965-70.

• Cee Lo Green – He tells CNN that he plans to reunite with both of his former groups, Goodie Mob and Gnarls Barkley, in that order.
• Bryan Adams – Today he’ll be inducted by hockey icon Wayne Gretzky with the 2,435th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, appropriately located outside the Musician’s Institute on Hollywood Boulevard.
• David Bowie – A new live album from the classic rocker is coming April 26th, entitled “Birthday Celebration: Live in NYC 1997”. It’s apparently an unauthorized bootleg, not an official release.
• Foo Fighters – They’ve announced a series of special contest gigs when the band will play in a fan’s garage in front of an audience of just 50 people. Fans can enter the contest via a link …
• Lady Gaga – The RIAA has recognized her as the highest-certified artist of digital singles in Gold & Platinum history with 20 million downloads sold.
• Rascal Flatts – They’ve announced a 24-show new tour, “Flatts Fest”, which will kick off June 18th in Bristow VA. Opening acts are Sara Evans, Easton Corbin, and Justin Moore.
• Shania Twain – Oprah Winfrey Network will premiere the new reality series “Why Not? with Shania Twain” on Sunday, May 8th.
• Trace Adkins – In “The Lincoln Lawyer” he plays a biker, but he says his dream movie role would be a ‘mute gunfighter’ because he wouldn’t have to learn any lines, he could just shoot people … and maybe have a dog that follows him around.

Occasions when a girl can legitimately lose it …
• The drug store clerk just did an intercom price check for your vaginal itch cream.
• You overdrafted on your bank account by 2 cents, making the actual cost of your gum $25.99.
• That $300-designer dress you splurged on? Yeah, the same one is now in the 90% off bin.
• Your guy showed up 45 minutes late … to your wedding.
• After asking your hairstylist for a trim, you ended up looking like Natalie Portman … in “V For Vendetta”.
– Adapted from

Seems everybody has a smartphone these days, but have you noticed that no one ever calls anymore? Teenagers gave up on phone calls eons ago; and in the last 5 years, full-fledged adults have seemingly given up the telephone – land line, mobile, voicemail, and all. According to Nielsen Media, even on cellphones, voice spending has been trending downward, with text spending expected to surpass it within 3 years. One observer suggests we now pretty much only call people on the phone when we don’t understand their e-mail or text.
– “New York Times”

Things that are touched by many people in a day are places where germs are shared. These can include …
5. Money from a cash register.
4. Restaurant menus.
3. Grocery cart handles.
2. Elevator buttons.
1. Handrails.
Other items that can be laden with cooties: Light switches; salad bars; ATM machines; exercise equipment.
– Condensed from “Reader’s Digest”

In case you’re not the metrosexual type of guy who spends hours daily on mirror-time, we offer a few tips on how to look better quickly …
• Shine Your Shoes – Nothing trashes a clothing ensemble faster than crappy-looking footwear.
• Part Your Hair – It signifies a certain level of pride in your appearance and is universally flattering when done correctly.
• Use Fabric Softener – It makes your clothes more touchably soft and gives them a clean scent.
• Iron Your Clothes – The payoff is worth it as it will take your appearance from sloppy to polished.
• Pluck Stray Hairs – Getting rid of unsightly hairs on and around your face is a quick way to enhance your appearance.
• Throw On a Blazer – No matter what you’re wearing, a blazer will take your ensemble to the next level, making you look and feel more classy and confident.
• Stand Up Straight – You’ll you look better and appear more confident.
• Smile – It’s seems so simple, but putting a smile on your face will completely revolutionize how others interact with you.
– Condensed from

• Monkeys recognize faces, not just in person (in ape?) but also in photos of their friends.
– BBC News
• Seems most of us aren’t big spenders as $67 is currently the average amount of an ATM withdrawal.
• The European Union is demanding that Facebook users have the ‘right to be forgotten online’, meaning all their personal material should be deleted when they leave the social network.
– “The Guardian”


1958 [53] Gary Oldman, London UK, movie bad guy (“Harry Potter” films, “Batman” films)

1962 [49] Matthew Broderick, NYC, Broadway actor (Tony Award-“The Producers”)/movie actor (“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”)/married to actress Sarah Jessica Parker since 1997

1962 [49] Rosie O’Donnell, Commack NY, TV talk show host (“The View” 2005-07, “Rosie O’Donnell Show” 1996-2002)/movie actress (“A League Of Their Own”)  BS FACTOID: In June, she begins full-time work on her new show for OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network).

1978 [33] Kevin Federline, Fresno CA, Mr Britney Spears (2004-07)/sometime TV actor (“One Tree Hill”, “CSI”)/failed hip-hop artist/former dancer

1980 [31] Deryck Whibley, Scarborough ON, rock guitarist/singer (Sum 41-“Pieces”, “Still Waiting”)/married to pop singer Avril Lavigne 2006-09

• “Astrology Day”, celebrated annually on the first day of star sign Aries.

• “Common Courtesy Day” … if you please. Thanks for your adherence!

• “Children’s Poetry Day”, an annual celebration instigated by UNESCO. A good day to have a kid read some rap lyrics with lush music in the background.

• “Fragrance Day”, which either has to do with perfume or [co-host] after a workout. (See BS PHONE STARTER.)

• “International Day For the Elimination of Racial Discrimination”, an annual UN observance since 1966.

• “Single Parents Day”, saluting those dedicated folks who single-handedly do the work of two in providing for their families.

• “Teenagers Day”, a day to quit picking on them for their awkwardness and angst in striving to become adults and admit that, compared to ourselves at that age, they aren’t so bad after all.

• “World Down Syndrome Day”, the 5th annual to raise public awareness of the syndrome resulting from the triplication of the 21st chromosome. (The reason it’s on 3/21.)

1994 [17] “Schindler’s List” wins ‘Best Picture’ at the 66th Academy Awards; Holly Hunter is named ‘Best Actress’ (“The Piano”); Tom Hanks ‘Best Actor’ (“Philadelphia”)

1991 [20] Leo Fender dies at age 82, maker of the first mass-produced solid-body electric guitar – the ‘Fender Broadcaster’ (1948), renamed the ‘Fender Telecaster’ (1950)

2000 [11] *NSYNC’s “No Strings Attached” sets an all-time benchmark for ‘Single-Day Album Sales’ at 1.1 million units

[Tues] As Young As You Feel Day
[Tues] International Day Of the Seal
[Tues] International Goof-off Day
[Tues] World Water Day
[Wed] Puppy Day
[Wed] World Meteorological Day
[Wed] Kick Butts Day

Act Happy Week / Agriculture Week / American Chocolate Week / Animal Poison Prevention Week / Pediatric Nurse Practioner Week / Poison Prevention Week / Week of Solidarity With People’s Struggling Against Racism & Discrimination / Wellderly Week / World Folk Tales & Fables Week


A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Everywhere you look, adorable baby potholes!
• More than usual, people are mating in the streets.
• Your slothful neighbor finally returns your snowblower.
• Melting snow reveals the entire city is covered in dog turds.
• Your furnace repairman calls to say he can finally make it over next week.
• Screams of women experiencing ‘bathing suit shock’ heard throughout the mall.
• Canadians get their summer-weight, seersucker parkas out of storage.
• Muammar Gaddafi orders the flowers to bloom.
• Chicago Cubs mathematically eliminated from the pennant race.

A 13-year-old kid has created a guys’ product called ‘Mancans’, candles that give off scents he considers manly. Among them: ‘Pizza’, ‘Sawdust’, and ‘Leather Baseball Glove’. So far, he’s sold 500 of them at $5 each. What do you think a ‘manly’ candle should smell like?

Set to do some Spring cleaning? Here’s how to turn your clutter into cash …
And here’s how to give it away to someone who’ll use it …

Cats know precisely when their owners will wake up … then promptly awaken them 10 minutes earlier.

Today’s Question: Women are more likely than men to ruin a date by doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Bringing along a friend.

Nothing makes a vacation seem better then hindsight.

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