March 21 2018

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Wednesday, March 21, 2018 – Edition: #6181

Nothin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!

★ Steven Spielberg has confirmed that ‘Indiana Jones’ will be returning in the near future, with filming for the fifth movie in the series starting in early 2019. While we don’t know a lot about the plot of the upcoming chapter, we do know that Shia LeBeouf won’t be returning as Mutt Williams. It’s has also been confirmed that Indiana Jones won’t be killed off in the new movie.
(Kinda takes some of the suspense out of those action scenes, doesn’t it?)
★ Wendy Williams returned on Monday to host ‘The Wendy Williams Show’ live after taking a three-week hiatus to deal with her hyperthyroidism and Graves’ disease. Speaking to viewers, she said, “Thank you for missing me. Thank you for not replacing us, thank you for being here today.” About 20 minutes into the show, Williams started to break down crying, and dried her eyes with Q-tips.
(Q-tips? Who DOES that?)
★ Ricky Gervais has called for a ban on wild animals in circuses. Gervais is backing Animal Defenders International (ADI) and has urged the UK to ban the use of wild animals in circus acts. Gervais, who is an outspoken supporter of animal rights, said: ”Using and abusing animals is not what I call entertainment. A ban on wild animal circus acts needs to happen without delay.” The plea comes after legislation was blocked in British Parliament by a single vote.
★ It’s a pretty good gig for a bunch of kids…or for anyone, for that matter.  The mostly teenaged cast of ‘Stranger Things’ will earn $250,000 per episode for Season 3…but reports say that 13 year-old Millie Bobby Brown, who plays ‘Eleven’, is set to make even MORE in a secret separate deal.  Sources suggest she’s going to be paid $300,000 per episode. If true, that would be a 1,200 percent pay increase from the previously reported $20,000+ salaries the child actors made during seasons one and two. Stranger Things premiered in 2016 and is the most watched show on Netflix, with Season 3 set to start filming in April.
★ Controversial comedian Hannibal Buress, who is best known for his persistent routines about the sexual assault allegations against Bill Cosby, had his mic cut off minutes into his set at a Catholic university. Attendees say that Buress started his routine by saying that he’d been asked to refrain from “content about rape, sexual assault, race, sexual orientation/gender…illegal drugs or the use of.” And when he made a joke about the Catholic Church’s history of child molestation, his mic was shut off.
(You gotta admit, they didn’t leave him with much to work with!)
★ A petition has been created calling for Matt Smith to donate some of his salary from ‘The Crown’ to the Time’s Up movement after it was revealed he earned more than his co-star Claire Foy. The show’s executive producers, revealed the pay disparity during a panel event last week and noted that Smith, who plays Prince Philip, earned more because he was a bigger name than his co-star, who stars as Queen Elizabeth II, thanks to his role in ‘Doctor Who’.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Charlie Day, Henry Winkler, Sabrina Carpenter featuring Jonas Blue
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): James McAvoy, Zoey Deutch
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Keri Russell, Matthew Rhys
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Tyler Perry, Ben Mendelsohn, McKay Coppins, Lil’ John Roberts
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Drew Barrymore, John Boyega
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Judd Apatow, Krysten Ritter, ROZES with Nicky Romero
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Rod Stewart, Cyndi Lauper
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Amy Chua
• “The Talk” (CBS): Elton John
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jay Pharoah, Bella Thorne, guest co-host Carrie Ann Inaba
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Mila Kunis, Kate McKinnon, Jenna Fischer, Oliver Hudson, Camila Cabello
• “Survivor: Ghost Island” (CBS): Episode 5 • A Diamond in the Rough
• “Krypton” (SYFY): This Superman prequel series is (mostly) set decades before the destruction of Superman’s titular home planet. Though a portion of Krypton will take place in the present (thanks to a bit of time travel), the show won’t cross over with other DC series.

• Lady Gaga – has earned raves from Barbra Streisand for her performance in the upcoming movie ‘A Star is Born’. Babs, who starred in the 1976 version of the film, says she has only seen a small preview of the movie which will come out in December, but she says that “it’s good…it’s very, very good”.
• Katy Perry – One of the nuns embroiled in the years-long legal battle with Perry says the dispute over the Los Angeles property has completely bankrupted her. She claims that the Archbishop who finalized the property sale with Perry, sent the nuns to retirement homes and closed their bank accounts.
• Fifth Harmony – Two years after Camila Cabello announced her departure, they’ve decided to call it quits…at least for now. They are calling their split a ‘hiatus to explore solo opportunities’. (Does any group really break up anymore?)
• Britney Spears – is once again sharing headlines with Kevin Federline, this time over child support. He reportedly called Spears’s father, Jamie, about increasing his child support payments because the $20,000 a month he receives isn’t enough. He shares two sons with Spears — Preston, 12, and Jayden, 11.
• Portugal. The Man – have truly hit the A-list. “Weird Al” Yankovic has remixed a couple of their songs…polka-style. The band has shared the new “Weird Al” mixes of their hits ‘Feel it Still’ and ‘Live in the Moment’. Both tracks feature stomping tuba rhythms and accordion melodies.
• Blink 182 – are heading to Las Vegas for a residency. They’ll play 16 dates at the Palms Casino Resort’s newly renovated Pearl Concert Theater on weekends between May and November. The pop-punk trio’s residency has been dubbed ‘Kings of the Weekend’.
• Neil Young – has revealed that he’s working on a sci-fi novel. The work, titled ‘Canary’, follows a man who “uncovers corruption at the power company where he works and sabotages their plot.” Young says he has a literary agent and will spend this year finishing the book.
• Gene Simmons – The anti-drug advocate has landed an odd new gig as ‘Chief Evangelist Officer’ at the Canadian cannabis and fertilizer company Invictus. Although he has always promoted clean living and scoffed at peers who use drugs, it appears he has relaxed his stance for pot users. His job description includes “providing marketing counsel, serving as a spokesperson in the media, and public appearances”.
• Garth Brooks – performed a record-breaking set on Sunday at RodeoHouston. He played to 75,577 people, breaking the attendance record from the previous Sunday during Go Tejano Day by just 12 concertgoers. His wife Trisha Yearwood joined him on ‘In Another’s Eyes’.
• Craig Campbell – has returned with his first single in two years with the release of ‘See You Try’. The song was written by James McNair, Jordan Schmidt and FGL’s Tyler Hubbard. Mindy.

If you have a dog, you might have always suspected that he or she is a pretty insightful character. Now a study is backing that up. Researchers at Kyoto University in Japan discovered that dogs can actually sense when people aren’t being kind to their owners, and will snub those people as a result. Volunteer dog owners pretended to struggle at opening a container before asking researchers to help them. One researcher helped, another just stood there, and yet another actually hindered the process. Later, researchers offered the dogs a treat… and what they found was that canines were far more likely to choose food from the helpful researcher and the neutral observer, while ignoring the unhelpful ‘jerk’. Scientists say the study shows that dogs do make social and emotional evaluations of people. And that they are pretty good judges of character. By the way, humans don’t generally inherit these abilities until they are about three years old. So when in doubt, let your dog sniff ‘em out.
(Like Bill Murray said, “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust my dog when he doesn’t like a person.”)
(I always knew my dog had a built-in jerk detector!)
(Although I’ve gotta say, my dog would probably be the one to take the food from the nice person first and say to the other, “Hold on, jerk, I’ll be with you to grab that treat in a minute…”)
-Town&Country, The Loop

Just two weeks before he died last week, theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking completed a research paper that discussed the “no boundary theory” that he devised in 1983 which said Earth was brought into existence during the Big Bang. The theory states that there was not just one Big Bang event, but many that created separate parallel universes. The paper, which is named “A Smooth Exit from Eternal Inflation,” also predicted how our universe would eventually fade into darkness when the stars run out of energy. So, basically he is describing the end of humanity, should we be around long enough to witness it. Thomas Hertog, the paper’s co-author, says that Hawking deserved a Nobel Prize for his work on this research paper.
(Any word on exactly when?)
(Ah, what did he know, anyway?)
(Could you tell this to my wife, who thinks it’s the end of the world when I use the ‘company’ towels?!!)

A startup company is giving people the chance to digitally preserve their memories forever. There’s one catch to the brain-uploading procedure however: the company has to kill you first. On their website, the Nectome company says that they have created a method of perfectly preserving the human brain using a high-tech embalming process. They say that “Our mission is to preserve your brain well enough to keep all its memories intact: from that great chapter of your favorite book to the feeling of cold winter air, baking an apple pie, or having dinner with your friends and family.” The theory is that science will create technology that will be able to digitally ‘download’ all that stuff in your brain and “recreate your consciousness” within the next 100 years. So you know, eternal life. How much? At this point, they are taking $10,000 as a downpayment. One more thing: The company needs your brain to be alive and active when the embalming starts. Or as co-founder Robert McIntyre puts it, the product is “100% fatal”.
(There may be some things in my brain that I don’t want someone to download in 100 years!)
(I think I know a few braindead people who they could practice on!)
(It’s like the cloud…for brains!)

Jumpstart your day by…
➠ Prepping your breakfast: Taking five minutes the night before for meal prepping can save you a lot of stress and time the next morning. (Pizza box open. Done!)
➠ Do your workout in the morning: A little exercise in the morning can brighten your mood. Plus, it wakes you up. (So did my hearty laugh when you suggested that…)
➠ Work out with friends: There are lots of benefits to working out with friends, including the fact that you’re less likely to skip when you know someone else is waiting for you. (You don’t know my friends…they’re NOT waiting for me…)
➠ Stop hitting the snooze button: Instead of hitting that thing, get up and use the extra ten minutes for you. Enjoy the pleasure of drinking a cup of coffee or tea. Relax and think of everything you would like to achieve today. (The problem in my house is my kids DON’T hit the snooze button…wakes the whole house!)
➠ Use a smart alarm to wake up peacefully: A smart alarm, available on some apps, recognizes the best time to wake you up and will do so during your lightest sleep phase within a set window.
(It better…if it’s smart enough to know what’s good for it!)


1958 [60] Gary Oldman, London UK, movie actor (“The Dark Knight Rises”, 2018 ‘Best Actor’ Oscar for “Darkest Hour”) COMING UP…”Hunter Killer”, 2018

1962 [56] Matthew Broderick, NYC, Broadway actor (Tony Award-“The Producers”)/movie actor (“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”)/married to actress Sarah Jessica Parker since 1997

1962 [56] Rosie O’Donnell, Commack NY, TV talk show host (“The Rosie Show” 2011-12, “The View” 2005-07, 2014-15, “Rosie O’Donnell Show” 1996-2002)/movie actress (“A League Of Their Own”)

1980 [38] Deryck Whibley, Ajax ON, rock guitarist-vocalist (Sum 41-‘In Too Deep’, ‘Fat Lip’)/wed to Avril Lavigne 2006-10

1986 [32] Scott Eastwood, Monterey County CA, movie actor (“Suicide Squad”, “The Longest Ride”) COMING UP… “Pacific Rim Uprising”, 2018

2004 [14] Forrest Wheeler, LA CA, TV actor (‘Emery Huang’ on “Fresh Off the Boat” since 2015)

• “Common Courtesy Day” … if you please. Thanks for your adherence!

• “Fragrance Day” and “Flower Day”, always observed on the 1st full day of Spring. So smell a flower or wear a favorite scent…if that’s still allowed where you work.

• “Single Parents Day”, saluting those dedicated folks who single-handedly do the work of two in raising and providing for their families.

• “Teenagers Day”, a day to quit picking on them for their awkwardness and angst, and admit that they aren’t so bad after all. So tell them how special they are … and they’ll grunt at you.

• “Memory Day”, but we can’t remember why.

• “World Poetry Day”, a good day to sample some ‘modern poetry’ by reading the inane lyrics to a hit song over a mushy violin background track. Find lots of dumb lyrics here …

[Thurs] World Water Day
[Thurs] Goof Off Day
[Fri] Chip and Dip Day
[Fri] National Puppy Day

2006 [12] Twitter founder Jack Dorsey sends the first-ever tweet over his new social networking site, which reads “inviting co-workers” (not too creative, huh?)

2013 [05] John Mayer becomes the 1st celebrity to host a Google+ ‘Hangout’, an online virtual meeting place with his fans

2015 [03] Jason Aldean weds former American Idol contestant Brittany Kerr in Mexico

2011 [07] 1st ‘Full Face Transplant’ is performed by surgeons at Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston MA

2013 [05] The European Space Agency reveals new data that indicates that the universe is 13.82 billion years old (roughly…)

2000 [18] *NSYNC’s “No Strings Attached” sets an all-time benchmark for ‘Single-Day Album Sales’ at 1.1 million units


✓ According to astronauts, space smells like seared steak, hot metal and welding fumes.
✓ A day on Venus is longer than its year.
✓ Saturn’s rings are only 30 to 300 feet (9 to 90 meters) thick.
✓ On Mars, sunsets are blue.
✓ An 11-year-old girl gave Pluto its name.
✓ There’s a moon named Cupid that orbits Uranus.

• Everywhere you look, adorable baby potholes!
• More than usual, people are mating in the streets.
• Your slothful neighbor finally returns your snowblower.
• Melting snow reveals the entire country is covered in dog turds.
• Your furnace repairman calls to say he can finally make it over next week.
• Screams of women experiencing ‘bathing suit shock’ heard throughout the mall.
• For the 51st March in-a-row, Toronto Maple Leafs fans hope, “Maybe THIS is the year.”
• Vladimir Putin orders the flowers to bloom.
• Canadians pull their summer parkas out of storage.
– First published in “BS” 2003.

Who were the worst neighbors you ever had?

• What time does it say on almost every watch used in a Rolex ad?
a. 11:10:31
b. 10:10:31 [CORRECT]
c. 9:10:31
d. Quittin’

• According to a 1946 Gallup poll, what is the ideal age for a woman to get married?
a. 18
b. 20
c. 21 [CORRECT]
d. 30
–Vital Statistics

Whenever I read a list saying ‘Top 10 things to do before you die’, I’m always surprised that “Call 9-1-1” is never #1.

Question: In a recent study, what was found to be accurate just over 20% of the time?
Answer: Fortune cookies

Everybody wants the truth but no one wants to be honest.

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