Friday, March 22, 2013        Edition: #4947

Have Another Sheetload!

✳ Jessica Alba and Gwyneth Paltrow are both working, married moms-of-two in Hollywood who also dispense advice through their own books and lifestyle brands (The Honest Company and Goop, respectively). But Alba says her new book “The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You” is ‘more grounded’ than Gwyneth’s because she didn’t ‘grow up with a bunch of money’. The gauntlet has been tossed … cage match!
✳ Here’s a case of life imitating art: 33-year-old “Mad Men” actor Vincent Kartheiser (‘Pete Campbell’) just got engaged to 31-year-old former “Gilmore Girls” star Alexis Bledel. The twosome played unhappily married lovers who carried on a torrid affair during “Mad Men’s” last season. Apparently he’s done ‘living off the grid without a toilet’ as he described himself in 2010.
✳ R&B singer Bobby Brown, the former Mr Whitney Houston, has walked free from jail after serving just 9 hours behind bars. He surrendered to Los Angeles officials on Wednesday to begin a 55-day sentence for DUI. However, he was released less than 10 hours after checking into LA County Jail … due to overcrowding.
✳ Actor Ryan Gosling says he’s taking a break from acting to avoid becoming overexposed. The 32-year-old, who began performing when he was 8, has starred in back-to-back movies from “Crazy, Stupid, Love” to “The Ides of March”, but says now he’s stepping back from the spotlight to ‘add some perspective’ to his life.
✳ And adult film star Harry Reems has died this week in a Salt Lake City UT hospital at age 65. He was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, entered hospital March 5th due to jaundice, and fell into a coma last week. Reems, born Herbert Streicher, is best known for his role in the 1972 XXX hit “Deep Throat”, which co-starred Linda Lovelace. It remains the most famous film of its kind.

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Phillip Phillips (“The World From the Side Of the Moon”). Rerun.
• “The iHeartRadio Album Release Party With Justin Timberlake” (CW) – Rerun of Tuesday’s special, featuring concert footage from the El Rey Theatre in Los Angeles.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Luke Bryan (“Spring Break: Here to Party”). Rerun.
• “Kids’ Choice Awards” (Nickelodeon) – Saturday the annual kid-voted entertainment honors. In the music categories, One Direction and Taylor Swift lead with 2 nominations apiece. Other music nominees include Adele, Bon Jovi, Bruno Mars, Carly Rae Jepsen, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Maroon 5,  P!nk, and Usher.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight The Coup (“Sorry to Bother You”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Sigur Rós (“Valtari”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Aaron Neville (“My True Story”). Rerun.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Rerun double-header: first host Jeremy Renner (“Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters”), musical guest Maroon 5 (“Overexposed”); then Maroon 5’s Adam Levine hosts, with musical guest Kendrick Lamar (“Good Kid, MAAD City”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Wiz Khalifa f/Akon (O.N.I.F.C.”); Wynonna Judd (“Dancing With The Stars”).

• The Beatles – Today photos of their performance at NYC’s Shea Stadium in August 1965, taken by amateur photographer Marc Weinstein, are among Fab Four items being sold by Omega Auctions in Stockport UK, 50 years to the day since they released their 1st album “Please Please Me”.
• Bon Jovi – They’ve nailed top spot on the new ‘Billboard Top 200’ album ranking with “What About Now”. It’s their 5th career album to hit #1.
• Gary Clark Jr – Saturday he plays the inaugural Maverick Music Festival in San Antonio TX. Also on the bill: Arum Rae, Girl In a Coma, Henry & The Invisibles, and The Toadies.
• Ke$ha – Saturday she receives the ‘Wyler Award’ at a Humane Society benefit in LA, honoring her ongoing work for animal welfare. She was named Humane Society International’s first ‘Global Ambassador’ in 2011.
• Lady Antebellum – Saturday is their inaugural ‘Ping Pong & Songs’ fundraising event in Nashville TN, inspired by the group’s favorite backstage hobby … table tennis. The event benefits their newly created charitable initiative LadyAID.
• One Dimension – Saturday they’re opening their first ‘1D World’ pop-up store in the UK, a temporary shop in Leeds that will be open for 3 weeks only. It’s the latest in a series of stores that have popped up in Brisbane, Chicago, NYC, Stockholm, Sydney, Toronto, and Vancouver.

• “Admission” ( PG-13 Comedy ): A Princeton admissions officer who is up for a major promotion takes a professional risk after she meets a college-bound alternative-school kid who just might be the son she gave up years ago in a secret adoption. Stars Tina Fey, Paul Rudd, Nat Wolff, Gloria Reuben.
• “The Croods” ( PG Animated Adventure ): The world’s very first prehistoric family goes on a road trip to an uncharted and fantastical world. The voice cast includes Nicolas Cage, Ryan Reynolds, Emma Stone, Catherine Keener. In development since at least 2005, John Cleese of “Monty Python” fame had an early hand in the screenplay.
• “Olympus Has Fallen” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): A disgraced former Secret Service agent finds himself trapped inside the White House in the wake of a terrorist attack. Using his inside knowledge, he works with national security to rescue the US president from kidnappers. Stars Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett.
• “Spring Breakers” ( R-Rated Crime Dramedy ): Quirky story about 4 college girls who land in jail after robbing a restaurant in order to fund their Spring Break vacation. They’re bailed out by a drug and arms dealer (James Franco) who wants them to do some dirty work in return. Stars Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine.
• Opening in limited release: “Come Out and Play” (Horror); “Gimme the Loot” (Crime Drama); “Hunky Dory” (Drama); “InAPPropriate Comedy” (Comedy); “Love & Honor” (War Drama); “MURPH: The Protector” (Documentary); “My Brother the Devil” (Drama); “No Place on Earth” (Documentary); “ The Sapphires” (Musical Comedy); and “Starbuck” (Comedy).

As you try to decide which media or download format to use for your latest music fix, be relieved that scientists at Harvard Medical School may have come up with the ultimate data storage platform. They’ve stored the contents of a book on DNA and then reproduced it almost error-free. One gram of DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) can theoretically store the contents of more than 100 billion DVDs. That means every piece of music ever made could eventually be inserted into your earlobe. (Uh … could we skip the Weird Al stuff?)
– “New Zealand Herald”

Some of life’s most cherished memories are formed on family vacations, according to a new poll. Most adults surveyed (62%) say their earliest memories are of family vacations taken when they were between ages 5-and-10, and they remember childhood trips more clearly than school events or birthday celebrations. The kids surveyed strongly agree that they get to see and do things on vacation that they’ll remember for a long time and that vacations bring their family closer together. (This is why you submit yourself to sunburn, car sickness, insomnia, and debt.)

• Brighton, England – Controversial UK fashion designer Jess Eaton is set to unveil her latest bridal designs, crafted from … roadkill. She claims she only uses ‘ethically sourced’ materials as the animals are not purposely harmed for her fashions. Last year she debuted a bizarre collection made from cat fur, alpaca, seagull, goose feathers … and a human ribcage.
– “Globe & Mail”
• Beijing, China – A marketing stunt to grow designer fruit in the shape of babies has not fared well as most shoppers find the produce … too cute to eat. The baby-shaped pears, grown in special molds by perhaps overly creative produce growers, have been marketed as ‘Lucky Baby Pears’, with a price tag of $3 each.
• Golçuk, Turkey – You’ve likely heard of the steadily increasing value of scrap metal and how unscrupulous salvagers have been stripping derelict buildings for copper, aluminum, and other metals … but this is a tad over the top. In Turkey’s western Kocaeli province, thieves have stolen a bridge … the whole and entire bridge in order to cash in.

The ‘Michelin Man’ has a name … Bibendum. The design of the roly-poly advertising icon was inspired by an 1898 advertising sketch for a brasserie, which featured a large, mummy-like giant raising a mug of beer and saying ‘Nunc est Bibendum’, Latin for ‘Now it is time to drink.’
– “History Channel Magazine”


1931 [82] William Shatner, Montréal QC, TV actor (“$#*! My Dad Says” 2010-11, “Boston Legal” 2004-08, “Star Trek” 1966-69)/movie actor (“Miss Congeniality”, “Dodgeball”)

1948 [65] (Sir) Andrew Lloyd Webber, London UK, music composer/stage producer (Tony Awards for “Phantom Of the Opera” and “Cats”, Tony & Academy Awards for “Evita”)

1948 [65] Wolf Blitzer, Augsberg, Germany, CNN news anchor since 1990 (“The Situation Room”)

1952 [61] Bob Costas, Queens NY, NBC-TV sports anchor since 1980 (“Football Night in America”, Olympic Games)/multiple Emmy Award-winner

1976 [37] Reese Witherspoon, New Orleans LA, movie actress (“Water for Elephants”, Oscar-“Walk the Line”)

1990 [23] Lincoln Parish, Bowling Green KY, rock guitarist (Cage The Elephant-“Shake Me Down”, “In One Ear”)

Alt-rock singer-keyboardist Damon Albarn (Blur) is 45; Movie actress Keri Russell (“Extraordinary Measures”) is 37; Movie actress Michelle Monaghan (“Source Code”) is 37; Gossip blogger Perez Hilton ( is 35.

Fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger (Tommy Girl) is 62; TV actor Jim Parsons (“Big Bang Theory”) is 40; TV actress Alyson Hannigan (“How I Met Your Mother”) is 39; Rock drummer Chad Butler (Switchfoot) is 39; NFL QB Peyton Manning (Denver Broncos) is 37; Movie actress Jessica Chastain (“Zero Dark Thirty”) is 36; Alt-rock bassist Benj Gershman (OAR) is 33.

• “As Young As You Feel Day”, a day to quit wallowing in worry about your chronological age and start feeling peppy!
• “International Goof-Off Day”, a day to relax, be yourself, and generally just goof off. In other words … a regular day.
• “Sing-Out Day”, a day to let fly with a special tune to let someone know how you feel.
• “World Water Day”, a UN observance since 1992 emphasizing the worldwide necessity of potable drinking water and proper wastewater treatment.

• “Chip & Dip Day”. While North Americans might pick ‘Sour Cream & Onion’ or ‘Salt & Vinegar’ chips, the top flavors for ‘crisps’ in the UK include ‘Roast Beef & Mustard’ and ‘Smoked Ham & Pickle’. The Swiss like ‘Paprika’, while Thais choose ‘Prawn’, and in Egypt ‘Kebab’ is popular. The best dip? ‘Hot Bean with Jalapenos’ … or is it?
• “Earth Hour 2013”, a global effort initiated by the World Wide Fund to raise awareness of the need to reduce energy consumption. Hundreds of millions around-the-world are expected to show support by turning off their lights for 1 hour at 8.30 pm local time. The event began 6 years ago when an estimated 2.2 million Australians in Sydney participated.
• “Puppy Day”, the idea being to save 10,000 homeless puppies in a single day by encouraging adoptions at dog pounds and rescue centers.
• “World Meteorological Day”, an annual UN observance to promote understanding of how weather, climate, and water affects us all. For one thing, it seems to be our favorite topic of conversation. What overused weather clichés should be dumped?

• “Chocolate Covered Raisins Day” … but not the kind you find in your kid’s bunny cage.
• “Inspect Your Cat’s Tongue Day”. You know you’ve always wanted to see what makes your cat’s tongue feel like sandpaper … today’s the day to find out!
• “World Tuberculosis Day”, to build public awareness that tuberculosis remains an epidemic in much of the world, causing the deaths of about 1.6 million people each year.

1976 [37] Filmmaker George Lucas begins filming the first of 9 planned movies in his “Star Wars” epic (mercifully he stops after 6, but then later sells the franchise to Disney)

2006 [07] Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler’s upcoming throat surgery forces the band to cancel a North American tour, sparking rumors he’s battling throat cancer (he’s not)

1993 [20] Intel Corporation introduces the Pentium processor for computers

1997 [16] America’s Tara Lipinski becomes ‘Youngest Women’s World Figure Skating Champion’ at age 14 years, 10 months

[Mon] “Revolution”; “The Voice” season debuts (NBC)
[Mon] International Day of Remembrance Of the Victims of Slavery
[Mon] Passover begins (Jewish)
[Mon] Pecan Day
[Mon] Waffle Day
[Tues] Legal Assistants Day
[Tues] Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
This Week Is … Bubble Blowers Week
This Month Is … Caffeine Awareness Month


• “Comb Usage Up 1%”
• “Pope Does Not Lead Cops on High-Speed Chase”
• “Hitting Head With Hammer Hurts”
• “Small Jump In Interest Rates Fails to Impress Pre-Schoolers”
• “Vast Majority of Senior Citizens Intimidated by Japanese Food”
• “Uninterrupted Flow of Electric Power Pleases Appliance Users”
• “Star Trek Fan Fails in Sex Bid”
• “Man Buys Hat”

I’m all stressed out with no one to choke.

☎ Name a song that might be great in another situation but is guaranteed to put a damper on a party.

Question: According to a recent study people used to do THIS 4-to-6 minutes per day back in the 1950s, but we’re nowhere near that now.
Answer: Laugh.

He who hesitates is probably right.

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