Friday, March 24, 2017 – Edition: #5939

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

★ Saturday a public memorial celebrating the lives of Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds will be streamed live on their website. The “Star Wars” actress passed away at age 60 on December 27th, then her mother, the 84-year-old “Singin’ in the Rain” star, one day later. The iconic actresses were laid to rest in a joint private service at LA’s Forest Lawn Memorial Park on January 6th. Today’s memorial takes place in a 1,200 seat theater at the same cemetery.
★ Today actress Jessica Chastain (“The Martian”) is celebrating her 40th birthday by enjoying a dream safari vacation in Africa. She decided to book the adventure after filming wrapped on “The Zookeeper’s Wife”, the story of the director of Poland’s Warsaw Zoo, who helped save the lives of hundreds of zoo animals and Jewish people during World War II. Also on Jessica’s to-do list now that she’s hit the milestone age: spending more time with friends and family.
– E! News
★ And model-actress Meghan Markle is poised to meet Queen Elizabeth II on Sunday, Britain’s Mothers Day (aka Mothering Sunday). It’s the first time Prince Harry’s girlfriend is meeting his grandmother. The 32-year-old royal and 35-year-old “Suits” actress have been dating since mid-2016 and since their relationship has recently been given the seal of approval by Prince Charles, they are reportedly now set to meet the monarch. Harry is said to be intent on transforming his late mother Princess Di’s emerald tiara into an engagement ring.
– “Daily Star”

• “CMT Crossroads: John Mellencamp & Darius Rucker” (CMT) – Tonight their rocking mash-up premieres in a new episode.
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today RaeLynn (“Wild Horse”, out today).
• “Filth City” – Inspired by late Toronto ON mayor Rob Ford’s crack scandal, this satirical comedy film premieres Saturday at Toronto’s Scotiabank Theatre during the Canadian Film Fest. The satire centers around ‘Mayor Hogg’, with an exaggerated storyline that includes lots of guns and shootings. Stars Pat Thornton, Melinda Shankar, Kenny Hotz.
• “Grace & Frankie” (Netflix) – Today Jane Fonda & Lily Tomlin return in the Season 3 debut.
• “Ingobernable” (Netflix) – Today the series debut. Kate del Castillo stars as the first lady of Mexico, who has ambitious plans to improve conditions in her country.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Moving Units (“Neurotic Exotic”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Tonight Glen Hansard (“A Season On the Line”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Bebe Rexha (“I Don’t Wanna Grow Up”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Tonight Flaming Lips (“Oczy Mlody”). Rerun.
• “Red Nose Day Actually” (BBC 1) – Tonight a reunion of the stars of 2003 movie “Love Actually” airs as part of UK charity Comic Relief’s biennial ‘Red Nose Day’ fundraiser. Revisiting their roles from the rom-com are Hugh Grant, Keira Knightley, Andrew Lincoln, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, and Bill Nighy. The special airs again May 25th on NBC-TV in America.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Today The Head & The Heart’s Josh McBride. Rerun.

• Beyoncé – She’s fulfilled a young cancer patient’s wish by FaceTiming her this week. Queen Bey surprised Houston TX teen Ebony Banks, who has been battling a rare form of the disease.
• Bon Jovi – Sunday a new leg of their “This House is Not for Sale Tour” gets underway in Chicago IL and runs through April 10th in Toronto ON.
• David Bowie – Efforts to create a memorial to him have been abandoned after a crowdfunding campaign failed. UK fans of the music icon had proposed creating a 30-ft-tall red-and-blue statue, named the ‘ZiggyZa’, in the middle of Brixton, South London.
• Drake – He’s saluted reclusive British-Nigerian singer Sade (shaw-day) by having her portrait tattooed on his rib cage. He spent time hanging out with the “Smooth Operator” hitmaker during his final London tour stop.
• Ed Sheeran – He’s receiving the ‘2017 Hal David Starlight Award’, which honors young songwriters. It’s being presented at the annual Songwriters Hall of Fame awards dinner June 15th in NYC.
• Little Big Town – While they’re touring Down Under, their fans are celebrating the release of their latest single, “Happy People”. The song was written by Lori McKenna (“Humble & Kind”), Hailey Whitters, and LBT’s Karen Fairchild.
• Lollapalooza 2017 – This year’s lineup includes Arcade Fire, Chance the Rapper, The Killers, and Muse. The 4-day event is scheduled for Chicago IL’s Grant Park August 3rd-6th.

• “CHIPS” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ): A rookie cop is teamed with a hardened pro in the California Highway Patrol, but the newbie soon learns his partner is really an undercover Fed investigating a heist that may involve some crooked cops. Dax Shepard stars and directs; co-stars Michael Peña, Jessica McNamee, Adam Brody. Based on the 1977-83 TV show “CHiPs”.
• “Life” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): A team of scientists aboard the International Space Station finds their mission of discovery turning into one of primal fear when they uncover a rapidly evolving life-form that ha caused extinction on Mars and now threatens the crew and all life on Earth. Stars Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds, Olga Dihovichnaya.
• “Power Rangers” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): In this latest iteration of the “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers” franchise (1993-95 TV series; 1995 film), a group of high school kids who are infused with unique superpowers harness their abilities in order to save the world. Stars Dacre Montgomery, Naomi Scott, RJ Cyler, Ludi Lin, and Elizabeth Banks as ‘Rita Replusa’. It’s already being spun-off with a “Power Rangers: Legacy Wars” videogame.
• Opening in limited release: “The Levelling” (Drama); “Prevenge” (Horror Thriller); “Slamma Jamma” (Sports Drama); and “Wilson” (Comedy).

In a life-or-death situation, you might have a hard time recalling the recommended 100 sternum compressions per minute for CPR. Far easier to remember is a song with about 100 beats per minute. A few catchy tunes recommended to help you perform CPR in the right rhythm …
✓ “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen.
✓ “Rock Your Body” by Justin Timberlake.
✓ “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
✓ “Staying Alive” by The Bee Gees.
✓ “Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira.
✓ “Work It” by Missy Elliot.
✓ “Dancing Queen” by ABBA.
✓ “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper.
✓ “Man In the Mirror” by Michael Jackson.
✓ “Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)” by the Backstreet Boys.
(Uh, that last one’s a bit ironic, no?)
– “Quartz”

Samsung is preparing to launch a digital assistant called ‘Bixby’, the latest product to result from the tech industry’s obsession with Artificial Intelligence and the Internet of Things. ‘Bixby’ is featured on the new Galaxy S8, which launches in NYC next week. Samsung is banking on the S8 to help it recover from last year’s embarrassing Note 7 debacle. The company killed off the flagship device after a recall and various fixes failed to stop some of the devices from catching fire. ‘Bixby’ enters a market that is already crowded with competitors: ”Siri (Apple); ‘Alexa’ (Amazon); and ‘Cortana’ (Microsoft). Samsung claims the ability of ‘Bixby’ to work across supported apps sets it apart from the others. For example, you could direct ‘Bixby’ to “Find a photo of Jane and text it to Sally”. (Or “Steal a nude pic of Scarlett and post it on Instagram.”)
– CNN Money

Many astronauts need eyeglasses after they return to Earth.
– “Mental Floss”


1951 [66] Tommy Hilfiger, Elmira NY, fashion designer (‘Tommy Girl’)

1973 [44] Jim Parsons, Houston TX, TV actor (‘Sheldon Cooper’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2007)

1976 [41] Peyton Manning, New Orleans LA, retired NFL QB (Denver Broncos 2012-15)/2 Super Bowls with 2 teams)/5-time NFL MVP/14-time Pro Bowl selection

1977 [40] Jessica Chastain, Sacramento CA, movie actress (“Interstellar”, “Zero Dark Thirty”)

1978 [39] Amir Arison, St Louis MO, TV actor (‘Aram Mojtabai ‘ on “The Blacklist” since 2013)

Soul singer Aretha Franklin (“Respect”) is 75; Oldies singer Elton John (“Your Song”) is 70; Actress-fashion maven Sarah Jessica Parker (“Sex & The City”) is 52; Auto racer Danica Patrick is 35; Actress-singer Katharine McPhee (“Smash”) is 33; Rapper Big Sean (“Bounce Back”) is 29; Producer Ryan Lewis (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis) is 29.

Rock/country singer Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) is 69; Comedian/actor Martin Short (“Father Of the Bride”) is 67; Country singer Kenny Chesney (“Setting the World on Fire”) is 49; Internet billionaire Larry Page (Google) is 44; Movie actress Keira Knightley (“Imitation Game”) is 32.

• “Chocolate Covered Raisins Day” … but not the kind you find in your kid’s bunny cage.
• “World Tuberculosis Day”, to build public awareness that TB remains an epidemic in much of the world, causing the deaths of about 1.6 million each year, mostly in Third World nations.

• “Earth Hour 2017”, from 8:30-to-9:30 pm during participants’ local time. Initiated by the World Wildlife Fund in 2007 to encourage us to turn off non-essential lights for 1 hour as a symbol of commitment to the planet.
• “International Day of Remembrance Of the Victims of Slavery & The Transatlantic Slave Trade”. Okay it’s a worthwhile effort and all … but wearing the button will give you a hernia!
• International Waffle Day” (“Vaffeldagen”), a holiday that originated in Sweden to coincide with the Christian “Feast Of the Annunciation”. It was also considered the start of Spring so it became a custom for Swedish families to celebrate both events by making waffles on this day.
• “Pecan Day”, an annual salute to the only nut tree native to North America. The word comes from Algonquian language, meaning a nut requiring a stone to crack.
• “Tolkien Reading Day”, an annual event launched by the Tolkien Society in 2003 with the aim of encouraging the reading of the works of JRR Tolkien. The March 25th date was chosen in honor of the fall of ‘Sauron’ in “Lord Of the Rings”.

• “British Summer Time” begins, when Brits move the clock forward to enjoy daylit evenings.
• “Legal Assistants Day”, honoring all those who help lawyers with their briefs.
• “Make Up Your Own Holiday Day”. What ingredients make for a good holiday? Special foods? Parades? Costumes? Fireworks? Religious obligations? A day off from the sweatbox?
• “Medic Alert Birthday”, saluting the invention of bracelets warning of emergency medical needs. The Medic Alert Foundation was founded on this day 61 years ago (1956).
• “Mothering Sunday”, the annual salute to British mums, now more commonly called “Mothers Day”.
• “Purple Day”, an event begun in 2008 to raise awareness of epilepsy by wearing purple or lavender. The idea is to dispel myths about the condition by getting people talking, and to reassure those with seizures that they are not alone.
• “Spinach Day”. What’s the best way to serve (aka disguise) it?

2002 [15] Halle Berry (“Monster’s Ball”) & Denzel Washington (“Training Day”) take home the top acting Oscars at the Academy Awards

2016 [01] Comedian, actor, screenwriter Garry Shandling (“The Larry Sanders Show”) dies at age 66

2000 [17] Elton John’s “Aida” opens on Broadway (21 days to write the music, 5 years to develop the stage production)

2001 [16] The segment of Highway 19 that runs through Macon GA is renamed “Duane Allman Boulevard”, in remembrance of the Allman Bros guitarist who died in a motorcycle crash near there 3 decades earlier

2002 [15] After a record 15 nominations, Randy Newman wins his 1st Oscar for ‘Best Song’, the “Monsters Inc” composition “If I Didn’t Have You”

2015 [02] HJ Heinz Co and Kraft Foods Group merge to form the 3rd-largest global food company, Kraft Heinz Co

[Mon] Celebrate Exchange Day
[Mon] Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day
[Mon] Viagra Day
[Tues] Weed Appreciation Day
[Wed] Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
This Week Is … Pediatric Nurse Practitioner Week
This Month Is … Mad for Plaid Month


• Rated G – This movie will feature common cartoon animals (like dogs or chickens), at least 7 pop culture references, and a teacup pig voiced by Kevin Hart.
• Rated PG – This movie will also feature cartoon animals, only they will be more obscure (like emus or voles), ruder, more flatulent, and will make 1 weird sexual innuendo that will fly over your kids’ heads but will make you die a little inside.
• Rated PG-13 – The main couple in this movie (the kangaroo and the ibis) will definitely have sex at some point but it will be tasteful and discreet, as if filmed through a white tulle curtain.
• Rated R – The main character’s best friend (an alpaca voiced by Kevin Hart) will die in some gruesome way. His love interest will be a hooker panda with a heart of gold and a jaded world-view.
– Thanks to Ali Solomon

☎ What is the biggest or best thing that you have ever won?

• Absurdity … A statement or belief that’s inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
• Accountant … Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
• Forever … The last 30 seconds of a basketball game.
• Grocery List … A piece of paper you spend a half-hour writing, then forgot to take with you to the store.
• Ow … The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
• Poetry … When every line begins with a capital.
• Self-Control … The ability to eat only 1 nacho.

Don’t make a fool out of me … I’m doing OK by myself!

Question: About half of us have one of THESE, and about ⅔ of those who have one, hate it.
Answer: A nickname.

Just because it didn’t work out the way you imagined doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea.

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