Monday, March 26, 2018 Edition: #6184
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BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” will not be publishing on Friday, March 30 to observe Good Friday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday, April 2.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Bill Hader and Jay Pharoah’s time together on “Saturday Night Live” was not all good old days…at least not when Justin Bieber appeared on the show. The two dished on Bieber after a caller on “Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen” asked them to name SNL’s worst-behaved musical guest or host. The two didn’t hesitate. After Pharoah said, “We both know, dawg.” Hader replied: “Yeah, it was Bieber. He was in a bad place. Maybe he’s in a better place. But back then … it was rough.”
★ Ryan Reynolds isn’t just playing the title character in ‘Deadpool 2’, he also had a hand in writing the film. Sources are saying that Reynolds looks to have had a huge influence on where the story will be going when the ‘Merc with a Mouth’ returns to the big screen May 18. He is known to have improvised many of his lines in the film. So much so, that he has been given a co-writing credit. Reynolds is already a producer on the movie, but it’s his first time being credited as a writer on a movie.
(***Caution: Contains ‘testicles’***)
★ Drew Barrymore wants to show her love for Jake Gyllenhaal. She was forced to rank three of her co-stars from most to least talented on James Corden’s “Late Late Show” – and Gyllenhaal drew the short stick. Later she explained to ET that “I had to either eat turkey’s testicles yesterday on James Corden or sell Jake down the river,” while playing a game of “Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts”. To make amends, Barrymore attended the season two premiere of her Netflix series, “Santa Clarita Diet”, holding an “I Heart Jake Gyllenhaal” sign.
★ Sigourney Weaver still has nightmares about the time she was attacked by a silverback on the set of “Gorillas In The Mist”. She recalled during a recent appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that, “He just got up and he beat his chest and he charged right up the hill at me and he swatted me and I went over”. Weaver eventually managed to crawl away into the jungle and run into the arms of a liaison scientist, who Weaver says appeared to be thrilled by what he had just witnessed.
★ Almost two years after Anton Yelchin died in a tragic car accident, his family has settled their lawsuit against Fiat Chrysler. 27 year-old Yelchin, who starred in three ‘Star Trek’ films, died in a freak accident after he parked his jeep in his driveway, the brakes failed, and it rolled down the street and pinned him between a brick mailbox and a security fence. The details of the settlement haven’t been released, and a statement from Chrysler noted that, “we continue to extend our deepest sympathies to the Yelchin family for their tragic loss.”
★ A New York City firefighter died early Friday battling a fierce blaze on an Edward Norton-directed movie set. The Harlem residential building was being used to film the adaptation of the Jonathan Lethem novel “Motherless Brooklyn”. Norton is directing and starring, along with Bruce Willis, Willem Dafoe and Alec Baldwin.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Charlize Theron, Josh Duhamel, Lord Huron ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Chadwick Boseman, Marlon Wayans, Mike “Rooster” McConaughey, Butch Gilliam, Devin Dawson ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sean Penn, Sara Gilbert, Bishop Briggs
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Billy Eichner, China Anne McClain & Nafessa Williams, Bedouine, Alan Cage ( R )
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Zachary Quinto, Rupert Friend, Zoey Deutch, Ben Harper & Charlie Musselwhite
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Thomas Middleditch, Ta’Rhonda Jones, Erin Jackson
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jeff Goldblum, Alan Cumming
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Michael Avenatti, Tyler Perry, Taraji P. Henson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Burt Reynolds, Olivia Cooke, Tye Sheridan, Lena Waithe, Scott Evans, guest co-host Mark McGrath
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): James Corden, Danai Gurira, Rita Ora
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Drew Barrymore ( R )
• “The Terror” (AMC): This 10-episode adaptation of the novel by Dan Simmons is inspired by true events—specifically, the Royal Navy’s 19th century search for the Northwest Passage.
• “The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling” (HBO): The beloved comedian, who died suddenly in 2016, is the subject of a two-part documentary by Judd Apatow. The four-and-a-half-hour film chronicles Shandling’s childhood, personal life, and career—from stand-up to Tonight Show guest host to star of his own acclaimed cable series It’s Garry Shandling’s Show and The Larry Sanders Show.
• “American Idol” (ABC): Hollywood Week
• “The Voice” (NBC): The battle round continues. Artists are challenged to take on beloved classics by Tom Petty and Bob Dylan, and current hits by Ed Sheeran and Chris Stapleton.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Cardi B – is back on Twitter. She had vacated the platform for a month, but returned to slam her haters and say, “Reason why I took a break from twitter is cause people are so negative and disgusting here. I had to log off, to much negativity is not good for the soul.”
• Sia – She and David Guetta, having already collaborated on hits like ‘Titanium’ and ‘She-Wolf’, have reconvened to produce a new track, ‘Flames’.
• Kanye West – An employee at his company suffered a severe leg injury on the job, and it was so bad he had to be airlifted to the hospital. The man was transporting a heavy piece of machinery Friday, possibly used for making Kanye’s Yeezy shoes, when it fell over and landed on his foot.
• Hedley – Jacob Hoggard suggested Friday that the group’s “indefinite hiatus” may not be permanent as they closed out their tour’s final show under a cloud of sexual misconduct allegations. He told fans in Kelowna, B.C. that “This is goodnight, not goodbye.”
• Gene Simmons – says that he was “wrong” and “not informed” about cannabis when he spoke out against it in the past. Last week’s announcement that he had taken on the role of “Chief Evangelical Officer” for the Canadian cannabis company ‘Invictus’ took many by surprise because he had always been outspoken about the use of any form of drugs. He says, “When I did my own research, I found out astonishing new information that doctors and researchers were talking about with regards to cannabis.” (NEW??)
• Geddy Lee – did the honors of inducting Barenaked Ladies (including ex-frontman Steven Page) into the Juno Hall of Fame at last night’s ceremony.
• Slash – While on a break from his extended reunion tour with Guns N’ Roses, he is in the studio working on his third album with Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators. The new album is scheduled to be released this fall.
• Fleetwood Mac – their classic ‘Rumours’ album is among those selected to be preserved forever by the Library of Congress for its National Recording Registry, which preserves recordings of cultural importance. Among the singles selected this year: Kenny Rogers’ ‘The Gambler’, ‘Le Freak’ by Chic, and Kenny Loggins’ ‘Footloose’.
• Paul McCartney – was among those in New York on Saturday for one of the March For Our Lives rallies protesting gun violence. He noted, “One of my best friends was killed in gun violence, right around here, so it’s important to me.” McCartney was referring to John Lennon, who was shot and killed outside his New York apartment building in 1980.
• Jason Aldean – he and Kelsea Ballerini will perform on the opening night of the NCAA March Madness Music Festival this Friday. Also scheduled to perform throughout the weekend: Maroon 5, Imagine Dragons, OneRepublic, Daya, Panic! At The Disco and ‘Despacito’ hitmaker Luis Fonsi.
• Blake Shelton – he, Chris Stapleton, Luke Bryan, Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood, Kane Brown, Luke Combs, and Dierks Bentley will all play CMA Fest 2018. Also on the bill for June 7-10 at Nissan Stadium in Nashville: Brothers Osborne, Kelsea Ballerini, Florida Georgia Line, Dan + Shay, Darius Rucker, Charles Eston and Friends, Jon Pardi, Charley Pride, Old Dominion, Dustin Lynch, Lee Ann Womack, Brett Young, Carly Pierce, and Ricky Skaggs.
The problem with being a big fan of a professional sports team is this: No matter how successful your team is, most seasons will end with you crying in your beer. Simply because of numbers, in a given season, even the best franchises usually lose. So why do we do it? Why do we feel the need to cheer on ‘our’ team year after year? Is it good for us? Following a loss by their team, fans are more likely than usual to eat unhealthy food, be unproductive at work, and—in the case of the Super Bowl—die from heart disease. What about fans of the winning team? Their testosterone levels tend to increase, which may account for why triumphant fans are more likely to suffer a postgame traffic fatality if the score was close. But research shows that being a fan can also have positive effects. It can ward off depression and alienation and build a sense of belonging and self-worth. Fans are inclined to respond to reminders of mortality with optimism, and to remember victories much more clearly than defeats.
(That’s assuming that there are any victories to remember…)
(When it’s a win, it’s ‘we’…but when it’s a loss, it’s ‘them’!)
(The other negative thing is the tendency to spend $150 on a new jersey every season…)
Newsflash: Store bought muffins are huge, and full of sugar and calories. That probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise to you, but here is some new info from obesity specialist Yoni Freedhoff. She looked into the numbers and found that donuts are actually better for you than muffins. At Dunkin Donuts, a chocolate frosted donut has 280 calories and 13 grams of sugar, while their blueberry muffin is 460 calories and 43 grams—that’s three times the sugar. How about the “reduced fat” muffin? Not so fast. It’s got 10 grams of fat instead of 15, but still far outweighs the donut at 410 calories and 39 grams of sugar. That makes them a more of a dessert or a treat, an indulgence—at which point you might as well get something tasty like a donut instead. Bonus: the donut probably has less sugar anyway.
(A dessert or a treat? At 460 calories, let’s just call it what it is. A cake.)
(Donuts are better for you than muffins? Like Homer said, “Is there anything they CAN’T do?”)
(If I’m going to consume 500 calories on a treat, it sure ain’t gonna be a muffin!)
(So THAT’s why they call it a muffin-top?)
LITERAL MEANINGS OF COUNTRY NAMES:
Researchers took the names of each country in the native language and found the original meaning…
• Canada – The Village
• U.S.A. – United States of Amerigo
• Italy – Land of Young Cattle
• Spain – Land of Many Rabbits
• Finland – Land
• Slovenia – Land of People Who Speak the Same Language
• Botswana – Those Who Went Away
• Mexico – In the Navel of the Moon
• Venezuela – Little Venice
• Brazil – Red Like an Ember
• Australia – Southern Land
• New Zealand – Land of the Long White Cloud
• England – Land of the Angles
• Denmark – Flat Borderland
• South Africa – Beautiful Southern Land
• Uganda – Land of the Ganda People
• Jordan – Descend to the Sea
• U.A.E. – United Arab Kingdom
• Malaysia – Mountain City
• Bhutan – The Land of the Thunder Dragon
• Saint Kitts and Nevis – St. Christopher’s Land of Snows
• Trinidad and Tobago – Island of the Holy Trinity and Tobacco
Full map here, in case we’ve missed any of our Bull Sheet community: http://www.neatorama.com/2018/03/17/Literal-Meanings-of-Country-Names/
BS CHRONOMETER 03.26.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934  Alan Arkin, NYC, movie actor (“Argo”, “Little Miss Sunshine”) UP NEXT…”Dumbo”, 2019
1944  Diana Ross, Detroit MI, pop singer (w/Lionel Richie -‘Endless Love’, The Supremes-‘Reflections’, ‘You Can’t Hurry Love’)
1948  Steve Tyler (Tallarico), Yonkers NY, classic rock singer (Aerosmith-‘I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing’, ‘Dream On’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)
1950  Martin Short, Hamilton ON, movie actor (“Three Amigos”, “Father Of the Bride”)/TV comedian (“Saturday Night Live” 1984-85, “SCTV” 1982-84)
1960  Jennifer Grey, New York City NY, movie actress (“Dirty Dancing”, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, season 11 winner of “Dancing with the Stars”)
1968  Kenny Chesney, Knoxville TN, country singer (‘No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems’, ‘When the Sun Goes Down’)
1973  Larry Page, East Lansing MI, co-founder & CEO of Google/estimated personal wealth of $48.1 billion (2018)
1985  Keira Knightley, London UK, movie actress (“The Imitation Game”, “Pirates Of the Caribbean” movies) COMING UP…”The Aftermath”, 2018
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Legal Assistants Day”, honoring all those who help lawyers with their briefs.
• “Make Up Your Own Holiday Day”. What ingredients make for a good holiday? Special foods? Parades? Costumes? Fireworks? Religious obligations? A day off from the sweatbox?
• “Purple Day”, an event begun in 2008 to raise awareness of epilepsy by wearing purple or lavender. The idea is to dispel myths about the condition by getting people talking, and to reassure those with seizures that they are not alone.
• “Spinach Day”, it’s not just Popeye who will be strong to the finish on Spinach Day. Packed with nutrients such as Iron, Vitamin A and Calcium, spinach is known for being a healthy part of a balanced diet.
• “Nougat Day”, a mixture of honey, sugar, nuts and more, nougat has never been more deserving of its own day. 3 Musketeers and Snickers bars are share-worthy choices.
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Education and Sharing Day
[Tues] Theatre Day
[Wed] Black Forest Cake Day
[Wed] Hot Tub Day
This Week Is…National Cleaning Week
This Month Is…National Music in Our Schools Month
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007  Broward County, Florida Medical Examiner’s Office reveals that reality TV starlet Anna Nicole Smith died of an accidental overdose of at least 9 prescription medications
2012  Filmmaker James Cameron becomes the first person in over 50 years to visit Challenger Deep, the deepest point on Earth
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1971  The Rolling Stones’ lips and tongue logo appears for the first time when it is used on VIP passes for their show at the Marquee Club in London
1990  ‘Under the Sea’ from the Disney movie “The Little Mermaid” is named ‘Best Song’ at the 62nd Academy Awards
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2000  Vladimir Putin 1st elected president of Russia (recently ‘elected’ to a fourth term)
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Dogs will sneeze to tell other dogs that they’re playing, so it doesn’t turn into a fight.
✓ Drinking water can help you lose weight by increasing the rate at which your body breaks down fat.
✓ The average cloud weighs over a million pounds.
✓ General Electric is the only company remaining from the original Dow Jones index of 1896.
✓ Watermelon can help relieve stress and anxiety, and boost your metabolism.
✓ ‘Percussive maintenance’ is the term for striking a device until it starts working again.
BS STUPID QUESTIONS ABOUT MOVIES:
• What’s the name of the ship in Titanic?
• Where was La La Land filmed?
• Is Star Wars based on a true story?
• Lambs can talk???
• Why does Spider-Man have only two legs?
• Are the first 12 Apollo movies out on video yet?
• Why are they called Goodfellas when they are actually bad fellas?
• Why would anyone want to steal magnolias?
• Have you heard about Fight Club?
• Black Panther isn’t a sequel to Pink Panther?
• Is Forrest Gump stupid or something?
• Why can’t Samuel L. Jackson make a movie without yelling?
• Why does the concession stand cost more than the movie?
BS PHONE STARTER:
What was the last new city that you visited that you loved?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Just imagine, for a moment, if there were no hypothetical situations.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Fully 1/3 of us have cried after this. What?
Answer: A job performance review
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.