March 27, 2013

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Wednesday, March 27, 2013        Edition: #4950

You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

✳ Yesterday, a wax figure of British actress Emma Watson was unveiled at Madame Tussauds wax museum in central London. The 22-year-old is portrayed at her present age, elegantly seated in a shimmery black dress accessorized with black heels and a choker necklace. (Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to depict her as a 12-year-old at the height of her “Harry Potter” movie fame?)
✳ Actress Karen Black’s husband Stephen Eckelberry has set up an online funding page in a bid to raise $17,000 to cover the costs of sending the 73-year-old to specialists in Europe for cancer treatment. Thanks to fan generosity, donations have exceeded the target within several hours, now topping $35,000. Black is best known for her work in “Five Easy Pieces”, “Nashville”, and “Easy Rider”. (Raising funds seems to be the efficient new use for the Internet.)
✳ A new investigative report says “Today” host Matt Lauer managed to negotiate a $25-million salary by threatening to leave NBC for ABC. Lauer almost jumped ship because he and co-host Ann Curry weren’t getting along, and he was angered NBC was talking to Ryan Seacrest about replacing him. Instead of leaving, he wangled the biggest money deal in morning TV history. But now, thanks to sagging ratings, there’s rampant speculation he may still look elsewhere, including replacing Alex Trebek on “Jeopardy!”. (And the correct question is, “What’s a sure sign of a greedy guy?”)
– “New Yorker”
✳ An attorney for once-top-selling pop singer Dionne Warwick has confirmed that she’s filed for bankruptcy over a tax debt that dates back almost 20 years. Lawyer Daniel Stolz insists the “Walk On By” singer was the ‘innocent victim of terrible mismanagement’ by her business manager and before she knew it she ‘owed a gazillion dollars in taxes’. (Having her people round things off to the nearest ‘gazillion’ probably hasn’t helped.)
✳ Production on “Koh-Lanta”, the French version of reality TV show “Survivor”, has been cancelled following the death of a contestant on the 1st day of filming. The 25-year-old suffered cardiac arrest while shooting a tug-of-war challenge in Cambodia. Producers have now confirmed the entire 16th season has been cancelled and all contestants are being flown back to France. (Actually it’s amazing this hasn’t happened more often, considering dozens of versions of the show have been airing worldwide for close to 20 years.)
– “Jam! Showbiz”

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The finalists perform songs that originated in Detroit, Michigan.
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Luke Bryan (“Spring Break: Here to Party”); Rascal Flatts (“Changed”); Tim McGraw (“Two Lanes Of Freedom”). Rerun.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Milk Carton Kids (“The Ash & Clay”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Maroon 5 (“Overexposed”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Divine Fits (“A Thing Called Divine Fits”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Men (“The Men”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Dido (“Girl Who Got Away”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Wavves (“Afraid of Heights”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Florida Georgia Line (“Here’s To the Good Times”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Josh Groban (“All That Echoes”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Guest co-host Jewel (“Sweet & Wild”).

• Amy Winehouse – A commemorative statue of the late singer in a retro-style dress and the beehive hairstyle she was famous for is expected to be installed outside London’s Camden Roundhouse later this year.
• Beyoncé – She’s headlining “The Sound of Change Live” at Britain’s Twickenham Stadium on June 1st, a concert to be broadcast worldwide. It’s part of Italian brand Gucci’s “Chime for Change” campaign, which aims to raise awareness for female empowerment.
• Mumford & Sons – They’ve announced a new run of North American tour dates in support of their sophomore album “Babel” that begins in Calgary, Alberta on May 21st and runs through June 20th at the Telluride Bluegrass Festival in Telluride, Colorado.
• 30 Seconds to Mars – Frontman Jared Leto tells British radio station Xfm the weirdest piece of fan mail he ever received was … someone’s severed ear.

New cutting-edge vocab …
✓ ‘Datasexual’ – A person who obsessively tracks and records their everyday lives online, and then analyzes and quantifies their existence, from toothbrushing to reading. The motivation for this painstaking task is apparently to ‘improve self-knowledge’. (No thanks. That’s TMI for us.)
✓ ‘Openture’ – The opposite of ‘closure’, this is the idea of not seeking a resolution or ending to an emotionally difficult experience. The idea is to embrace imperfection and ease up on the search for neat solutions. (Also known as ‘carrying a chip on your shoulder’.)
✓ ‘Fashist’ – According to “Glamour” magazine, this is someone who judges you exclusively on the clothing your choose and the outfits you wear. (This even seemed shallow back when “Clueless” was filmed in 1995.)

Western Washington University psychologists have found a way to help anyone plagued by earworms, annoying tunes that get stuck inside the head. It seems choruses are the most apt part of songs to get stuck because they’re the part we know best and we often don’t know the 2nd or 3rd verse to a song, so it remains unfinished. Unfinished thoughts are more likely to return. So, the best way to stop them? Solve some anagram puzzles (aka ‘word jumbles’). Why? If you are cognitively engaged, it limits the ability of intrusive songs to enter your head. Some of the easiest songs to have looping in your brain (as used by the researchers) …
✗ “Alejandro”/”Bad Romance” – Lady Gaga
✗ “California Girls” – Katy Perry
✗ “Call Me Maybe” – Carly Rae Jepsen
✗ “Single Ladies” – Beyoncé
✗ “SOS” – Rihanna
✗ “Hey, Soul Sister” – Train
✗ “You Belong With Me” – Taylor Swift
– Condensed from “The Telegraph”

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 79% of married men think their wives are happy with their sex lives; only 60% of wives say they are.
• 65% of men say they’d date an unemployed woman; just 25% of women say they’d date an unemployed man.
• 60% of guys believe the first thing people notice about them is what kind of cellphone they have.
• 40% of us are so lazy we often knowingly put empty containers back in the fridge.
• 39% of us peek into the bathroom cabinet when visiting someone’s home.
• 30% of us are much less fearful of visiting the dentist if we’re put under general anesthesia.

Oil drillers estimate that Kenya’s oil-rich Great Rift Valley could yield 10 billion barrels, enough to supply Kenya for 3 centuries or the USA for about … 18 months. (Gasoline gluttony!)


1963 [50] Quentin Tarantino, Knoxville TN, film producer-writer-director (“Django Unchained”, Oscar-“Pulp Fiction”)

1965 [48] Johnny April , Enfield CT, rock bassist-vocalist (Staind-“Not Again”, “Believe”)

1969 [44] Pauley Perrette, New Orleans LA, TV actress (‘Abby Sciuto’ on “NCIS” since 2003)

1970 [43] Mariah Carey, Huntington NY, TV personality (“American Idol”)/pop singer (“Don’t Forget About Us”, “We Belong Together”)/5 Grammy Awards/18 #1 singles

1971 [42] Nathan Fillion, Edmonton AB, TV actor (‘Richard Castle’ on “Castle” since 2009, “Firefly” 2002-03)

1975 [38] Fergie (Stacy Ferguson), Whittier CA, pop singer (“Clumsy”, “Big Girls Don’t Cry”, Black Eyed Peas-“I Gotta Feeling”, “Where Is The Love?”)

1988 [25] Jessie J (Jessica Cornish), London UK, pop singer (“Domino”, w/BoB-“Price Tag”)/TV personality (judge on UK “The Voice”)

1990 [22] Kimbra (Johnson), Hamilton NZ, pop singer-songwriter (2 Grammy Awards-w/Gotye-“Someone That I Used to Know”)

• “Holi”, the 2-day Hindu Spring festival also known as the “Festival of Colors”. On the 1st day, bonfires are lit at night; on the 2nd day, celebrants toss colored powder & water on one other.

• “Joe Day”, when people who hate their names are to be called ‘Joe’. Ask listeners for the most horrific given names they’ve come across.

• “Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day”. How about these, for instance …
– “If Whiskey Were A Woman, I’d Be Married For Sure”
– “I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones”
– “I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight”
– “I’m Here To Get My Baby Out Of Jail”
– “I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Almost Like Having You Here”
A listing of hundreds more here (scroll down to ‘The Best Of the Worst Country Song Titles’) …
The ‘Do-It-Yourself Country Song Generator’ will help you create a hit in just moments …

• “Worm Moon”, the Full Moon of March, so-named as earthworms reappear after Winter, heralding the return of the robins. It’s also been called the ‘Crow Moon’ and the ‘Sap Moon’. Some 30,000 party on the beach at the annual “Full Moon Party” on the Thai island of Kho Phangan.

1973 [40] Actor Marlon Brando (“The Godfather”) declines the Academy Award for ‘Best Actor’ (actress Sacheen Littlefeather announces he’s protesting Hollywood’s portrayal of Native-Americans in film)

2003 [10] Rolling Stones postpone a planned series of concerts in Hong Kong after the deadly SARS flu epidemic breaks out

2003 [10] The City of Liverpool opens John Lennon’s boyhood home to the public

1939 [74] University of Oregon defeats Ohio State University 46-33 to win the 1st-ever NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament

1998 [15] Viagra, the ‘Little Blue Pill’ for men, is approved for sale by the FDA

1999 [14] Bill Minty of Bridgeport, Connecticut boils 6,000 eggs for his neighborhood ‘Easter Egg Hunt’ in 10 minutes by placing them inside a mesh bag in a large washing machine at his dry cleaning shop

[Thurs] Weed Appreciation Day
[Fri] Good Friday (Christian)
[Fri] “GI Joe: Retaliation”; “The Host”; “Tyler Perry’s Temptation” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Lollapalooza Brasil begins
[Fri] Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
[Sat] Dubai World Cup (world’s richest horse race)
[Sun] “Game Of Thrones” season debut (HBO)
This Week Is … RV Lifestyle Week
This Month Is … Women’s History Month


• In Australia, the Easter bunny is replaced with the native marsupial, the Bilby. This is because rabbits are seen as pesky and harmful predators that dig holes and eat crops.
• In Bermuda, traditional kites are constructed by Bermudians of all ages as Easter approaches, but are normally only flown on Easter Sunday.
• In Denmark, Finland, and Sweden, Easter traditions include small children dressing as witches and collecting candy door-to-door in exchange for decorated pussy willows.
• In some parts of western Finland and Germany, bonfires are held on Easter Sunday. It’s a tradition meant to ward off any witches flying around.
• In parts of France, the Easter egg tradition has been altered slightly as omelets and egg dishes are made on Easter to feed the needy.
• In Poland, if the man of the house takes part in preparing the traditional Easter bread, custom has it his moustache will turn grey and the dough will fail. So men are banned from helping out.
• In Switzerland, villages turn their fountains into ‘Easter Wells’, using paper streamers, flowers, and painted eggs to decorate them.
• In Verges, Spain a traditional Maundy Thursday ‘death dance’ is performed in the streets of the medieval town. It begins at midnight and continues into the early morning.
– Condensed from

I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries.

Was it German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche or SpongeBob SquarePants, the cartoon character who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
• “I hope my horrible ugliness won’t be a distraction for you.” [SpongeBob]
• “I would only believe in a god who could dance.” [Nietzsche]
• “Die at the right time!” [Nietzsche]
• “How can I compete with geniusness?” [SpongeBob]
• “Plato is boring.” [Nietzsche]
• “Panic is your enemy. You are strong. Through your strength, you shall overcome.” [SpongeBob]
• “My ambition is to say in 10 sentences what everyone else takes a whole book to say.” [Nietzsche]
• “Today, I start living!” [SpongeBob]
• “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” [SpongeBob]
• “I am not a man, I am dynamite.” [Nietzsche]
• “We’ve only got ourselves and what we can carry on our backs.” [SpongeBob]
– Adapted from

☎ Complete the sentence: You can tell he/she is not married when …

You run down the list while your contestant tries to guess the age of each …
Avril Lavigne … 28
Carly Rae Jepsen … 27
Chris Hardwick (“Singled Out”) … 41
Gwen Stefani (No Doubt) … 43
Halle Berry … 46
Johnny Depp … 49
LL Cool J … 45
Liv Tyler … 35
Rob Lowe … 49
Stacey Dash (“Clueless”) … 46
– Adapted from

Question: A recent study says you may be getting sick because of THIS thing you touch that has about 280 different types of bacteria on it.
Answer: Steering wheel.

Teamwork is vital … it gives you someone to blame.

Like this article?

Share on facebook
Share on Facebook
Share on twitter
Share on Twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on Linkdin
Share on pinterest
Share on Pinterest

Leave a comment