Monday, March 27, 2017 – Edition: #5940

You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

★ Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds’ public memorial on Saturday included plenty of singing, dancing, and memories. The event was held at LA’s Forest Lawn memorial park inside a 1,200-seat theater, which was almost at capacity. Debbie’s son, Todd, led the ceremony, which featured a video tribute, performances from Debbie’s dance studio, and closing words from Dan Aykroyd. You’ll remember, Fisher died in December, days after suffering a massive heart attack on a flight into L.A. Her mother, Debbie passed away the following day after a stroke. The two are buried together at Forest Lawn.
★ At a weekend film festival in his hometown of Malaga, Spain, 56-year-old movie actor Antonio Banderas (“The Mask of Zorro”, “Philadelphia”) admitted that he had suffered a heart attack on January 26th, but claims it wasn’t serious and hasn’t caused any permanent damage. After undergoing a procedure to introduce 3 stents in his arteries at a Swiss clinic, he admits that 37 years of being a workaholic hasn’t helped his health. Banderas attended Saturday’s event to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award for his career as an actor, director, and producer.
– Sky News
★ On the baby watch:
• 31-year-old actress Amanda Seyfried welcomed a baby girl on Friday with her actor-husband Thomas Sadoski, a rep for the star has confirmed. Details of the baby’s name or place of birth have not yet been disclosed.
• 23-year-old former One Direction singer Liam Payne has become a dad. It’s just confirmed his girlfriend Cheryl (Cole) had a baby boy last Wednesday. The 33-year-old pop star/TV personality gave birth at the Chelsea & Westminster Hospital in London. No name announced.
• And it’s also just confirmed 40-year-old actor Benedict Cumberbatch is a father for the 2nd time, his wife Sophie Hunter giving birth to a boy (Hal Auden Cumberbatch) earlier in March at the luxurious Portland Hospital in London, where a room costs £1,200 ($1,500) a night.
– / / “Mail on Sunday”
★ And comedian-actress Amy Schumer has reportedly exited the upcoming live-action “Barbie” movie due to ‘scheduling conflicts’. The bigscreen adaptation of Mattel’s iconic toy line was expected to start production June 23rd, but Schumer’s busy with a promo tour for her new movie “Snatched” (opens May 12th), as well as preparing for the upcoming film “She Came to Me” opposite Steve Carell.
– Splash News

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Gary Clark Jr (“The Story of Sonny Boy Slim”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – The celebrities get another chance to impress the judges with a new style of dance.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – John Mayer as Hank ‘The Hawk’ Knutley. Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – MisterWives (“Our Own House”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Aimee Mann (“Mental Illness”, out Friday).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Steals and surprises abound as artists prepare battle round arrangements with help from the guest advisers.

• Chuck Berry – A lawyer who worked with him tells “People” magazine that Berry is likely to leave his family a huge estate of around $50 million. The 90-year-old music icon died March 18th.
• (Sir) Elton John – The 70-year-old says his 1998 knighthood has given him … ”f— all”.
• James Blunt – He tweets: “My real name is James Blount, but I changed it as people teased me that it rhymed with ‘count’.” Blunt is the opener on Ed Sheeran’s upcoming North American tour.
• Kendrick Lamar – His new single “The Heart Part 4″ mentions April 7th as some sort of deadline. It could be teasing the release date for his next album.
• Lady Gaga – The 30-year-old, who has been a vocal ally of the LGBTQ community, says the gay men in her life helped her to ”become a woman”.
• Mötley Crüe – The retired band members are in talks with Netflix about turning their biography “The Dirt: Confessions Of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band” into a movie.
• Phil Collins – He may have forked out £42 million (circa $53 million) to settle his 2 divorces, but he’s still dead set against pre-nuptial agreements. He tells “Rolling Stone Australia”: “I think they’re unethical. It cost me a lot of money, but that’s lawyers for you.”
• Tupac Shakur – His induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame next month will be a mini Death Row Records reunion because Snoop Dogg is leading the tribute, and Dr Dre is in talks to join him. This year’s ceremony takes place April 7th at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn NY.

Most NHL hockey seasons without EVER winning a Stanley Cup …
5. Arizona Coyotes (36 seasons)
4. Washington Capitals (41)
3. Vancouver Canucks (45)
2. Buffalo Sabres (45)
1. St Louis Blues (48)
(It’s true Toronto Maple Leafs have waited 50 seasons, but at least they won several titles previously.)

‘Espresso tonics’ are the latest bizarre coffee trend. In Australia and some parts of the US this is something people are actually choosing to drink, either ordering the liquid monstrosities at bars and cafés, or making them themselves. It’s a fairly simple concoction … a shot of espresso with tonic water added to it. Some people are even garnishing the icky drinks with lime. While alternative coffee drinks such as espresso martinis seem possibly palatable, the bitter taste of tonic water that we’d usually associate with a double Gordon’s gin is hard to imagine swallowing. And even more so with lime. (Espresso solo; gin w/vermouth, please!)

We’re still watching a heckuva lot of screen content these days, but usually while multitasking, according to a new survey of 2,100 people aged 14-plus. A few highlights …
• 99% of teens and young adults watch content while juggling an average of 4 other activities such as texting, shopping online, checking email, and social media.
• 74% of people still subscribe to cable or satellite TV, but mostly only because it’s bundled with their internet service.
• 70% now binge-watch content, defined as watching 3 or more episodes at one sitting; a third of them do so weekly.
• 50% subscribe to at least one streaming service.

✗ Always Wear a Corset – Some 19th century moms actually miscarried by cinching up too tightly.
✗ Watch What You Eat – Ancient Greek physician Soranus believed flatulence harms the fetus.
✗ Don’t Have Sex – Dr John Harvey Kellogg (as in Corn Flakes) believed getting it on while pregnant makes your child grow up ‘lustful’.
✗ Take Your ‘Medicine’ – In the early 1900s, cocaine and champagne were believed to help morning sickness.
✗ Always Give Into Food Cravings – 19th-century doctor, John D West, warned that failure to give into cravings could result in a baby born with birthmarks.
✗ Have a Hyena Present – Ancient Greek scientist Pliny the Elder claimed the smell of the fat from a hyena’s loins would stimulate delivery.
✗ Watch Where You Look – Hippocrates thought if a pregnant woman looks at something, an ugly person, animal, or a terrible disaster, it could be reflected in the appearance of her child.

It may be a first-world problem … that little drip of wine that slides annoyingly down the neck of a bottle after it’s been poured. But Brandeis University biophysicist Daniel Perlman says he’s solved the age-old problem by etching a small groove into the bottle itself. Perlman has studied slow-mo videos of wine being poured, then calculated precisely how large of an edge would be required to catch the offending drip. The answer: 2mm wide, 1mm deep. Gizmos are already on the market to stop the spills, and sommeliers often just use a napkin to deftly wipe the bottle after a pour. But Perlman, an inventor with more than 100 patents, says changing the wine bottle itself would solve the drip problem once and for all. (This is totally unneeded. What do you think your tongue is for?)

He may seem fearless on TV, but adventurer Bear Grylls admits he is afraid of … cocktail parties.
– BBC Entertainment


1963 [54] Quentin Tarantino, Knoxville TN, film producer-writer-director (“Django Unchained”, Oscar-“Pulp Fiction”)

1969 [48] Pauley Perrette, New Orleans LA, TV actress (‘Abby Sciuto’ on “NCIS” since 2003)

1970 [47] Mariah Carey, Huntington NY, pop singer (“Don’t Forget About Us”, “We Belong Together”)/5 Grammy Awards/18 #1 singles

1971 [46] Nathan Fillion, Edmonton AB, TV actor (‘Richard Castle’ on “Castle” 2009-16)

1975 [42] Fergie (Stacy Ferguson), Whittier CA, pop singer (“Clumsy”, “Big Girls Don’t Cry”, Black Eyed Peas-“I Gotta Feeling”, “Where Is The Love?”)

1988 [29] Jessie J (Jessica Cornish), London UK, pop singer (“Bang Bang”, “Price Tag”)/TV personality (“The Voice UK” 2012-13)

1990 [27] Kimbra (Johnson), Hamilton NZ, pop singer-songwriter (w/Gotye-“Someone That I Used to Know”)

• “International Whisk(e)y Day”, launched in 2008. The name is used with the parenthesis to indicate support of Canadian, Japanese, and Scotch whiskies (no ‘e’) as well as American and Irish whiskeys (with an ‘e’). The day aims to support Parkinson’s Disease research.

• “Joe Day”, when people who hate their names are to be given a break and simply called ‘Joe’. Ask listeners for the most horrific given names they’ve come across.

• “Spanish Paella Day” [pie-AY-uh] , celebrating the saffron rice dish that’s basically a stew that might include, chicken, sausage, shellfish, and vegetables. It’s often cooked and served in a flat round pan.

• “Viagra Day”, celebrating the 1998 date when the ‘Little Blue Pill’ for men was approved for retail sale. Are you up for this?

• “World Theatre Day”, celebrated every year on March 27th. It was established in 1961 by the International Theatre Institute.

2002 [15] Brit movie actor Dudley Moore (“Arthur”, “10”) dies at age 66

2015 [02] Willie Nelson announces that he and his family are hard at work on a new brand of marijuana called “Willie’s Reserve”

2008 [09] 2006 “X Factor UK” winner Leona Lewis hits #1 on the singles chart with “Bleeding Love”

2008 [09] Country singer Trace Adkins is one of the finalists on Season 7 of “The Celebrity Apprentice” (NBC), but loses the battle to TV personality/tabloid editor Piers Morgan

2014 [03] Doctors announce that a 3D-printed plastic skull has been successfully used to replace part of a woman’s real skull in an operation in the Dutch city of Utrecht

2013 [04] Miami Heat’s 27-game NBA winning streak comes to an end when they lose to Chicago Bulls 101-97

[Tues] Weed Appreciation Day
[Wed] Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
[Wed] Manatee Appreciation Day
[Thurs] ACM Party for a Cause begins (Las Vegas NV)
[Thurs] Doctors Day
[Fri] “The Boss Baby”; “Ghost In the Shell” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “13 Reasons Why” debut (Netflix)

Crossword Puzzles Week / Health Information Professionals Week / NanoDays / International Phace Syndrome Awareness Week / Pediatric Nurse Practitioner Week / Protocol Officers Week


Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
According to a University of Arizona “Germs in the Workplace” study, here are the jobs where the most germs are encountered …
5. Doctor (thanks to all the bugs brought in by patients)
4. Radio Personality (eww, what’s that crawling on the microphone?)
3. Banker (from handling all that dirty, disgusting, filthy lucre)
2. Accountant (maybe they should Lysol the books before juggling them?)
1. Teacher (those little snot-nosed rug-rats are nothing but vermin carriers!)
– First published in “BS” 2006.

Today is the annual “Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day”. How about these, for instance …
– “Thanks To the Cathouse, I’m In the Doghouse With You”
– “I Wish I Were a Woman (So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me)”
– “You’re the Ring Around My Bathtub, You’re the Hangnail Of My Life”
– “My Phone Ain’t Been Ringing, So I Guess It Wasn’t You”
– “Are You Drinkin’ With Me, Jesus?”
A listing of hundreds more here (click on ‘The Best Of the Worst Country Song Titles’) …
– First published in “BS” 2015.

☎ The Nova Scotia Registry of Motor Vehicles has withdrawn a man’s vanity license plate, claiming his surname is offensive to women. His name? ‘Grabher’. Lorne Grabher says he first put his last name on the license plate decades ago, and the Canadian province’s refusal to renew the plate is unfair and discriminatory against his English-Welsh surname. What do you think? And what’s the oddest vanity plate you’ve spotted or heard about?

What’s the definition of an optimist? A poet with a mortgage.

Question: This is something that most Millennials do at east once a week.
Answer: Snack instead of eating a full meal.

Never obsess. Learn and move on.

Stephanie Mizzi @ Country 89.1 [CKYY] Welland ON; Brian Lacey @ Ballina Community Radio, Ballina, Ireland; and Nigel Steele @ Heart FM London UK.

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