Tuesday, March 27, 2018 – Edition: #6185

You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” will not be publishing on Friday, March 30 to observe Good Friday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday, April 2.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ WWE Superstars-turned-Hollywood heavyweights Dwayne Johnson and John Cena are often compared to each other, but SmackDown favorite Cena says they’re not even in the same class. He says: “The Rock is in a conversation by himself. He is an anomaly, he’s done unbelievable things in the world of sports and entertainment”. Cena says, “He is unbelievably gifted at using social media to spread the fact that hard work is how you achieve success.” Johnson and Cena were reunited at Saturday’s “Kids Choice Awards” at the Forum in Los Angeles, where Johnson won for ‘Favorite Movie Actor’ and host Cena was slimed.
-MSN
★ Ariel Winter wants to take a break from the spotlight. Winter, who is best known for her starring role as Alex on “Modern Family” – has revealed she’s eager to go unnoticed for a little while. As she puts it, “One day you did something great, and the next day you’re like plastered as a thousand other things. It’s a really difficult industry… it builds you up, and it can tear you down just as fast.”
(So…no gratuitous bikini posts for a few weeks?)
-MSN
★ After seeing the new trailer for “Deadpool 2″, Gal Gadot seemed to recognize something familiar when the superhero played by Ryan Reynolds crosses his arms while announcing that his newly assembled team will be dubbed ‘X-Force’. She captioned a screenshot of Deadpool’s pose with: “Dude stole my look!”, making sure to tag Reynolds, who responded: “Imitation is the sincerest form of larceny.”
(Don’t worry, Gal, you wore it better!)
-MSN
★ Chrissy Teigen has dealt a major blow to Snapchat, by revealing that she no longer uses the platform. Her decision to leave Snapchat is likely to influence her fans to do the same, and could cause the platform to depreciate in value even further. Kylie Jenner’s dissatisfaction with Snapchat caused its stock to drop by $1.3 billion in February, when she revealed that she disliked the app’s redesign.
-Cosmopolitan
★ There’s nothing funny about Alzheimer’s. But Seth Rogen turned to comedy once again on Saturday night to help in the battle against the debilitating disease. He and his wife Lauren Miller hosted the sixth annual ‘Hilarity For Charity’ variety show to fight Alzheimer’s Disease. Saturday’s gig at the Hollywood Palladium was the first to be streamed on Netflix. Guests included Ike Barinholtz, Alison Brie, Michael Che, Sacha Baron Cohen, James Corden, Tiffany Haddish, Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Kumail Nanjiani, Craig Robinson, Sarah Silverman, and Michelle Wolf.
-DailyMail
★ Will Smith can cross another thing off his bucket list. To commemorate his 100th Instagram post, Smith did something he’d never done before: take salsa lessons from Marc Anthony. Smith shared a video of the impromptu dance class — which took place on a boat in Miami — in which the actor and singer showed off their moves, with Anthony giving him a few pointers along the way.
-EW

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Roseanne Barr, John Goodman, Chloe x Halle ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Alicia Keys, Darren Criss, Rudy Francisco ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Samantha Bee, Leslie Odom Jr., Tom Segura
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): James Spader, Whitney Cummings, Malcolm Jenkins, Alan Cage ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Adam Devine, the Voidz
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Armie Hammer, Nick Swardson, JC Currais
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Casey Wilson, Danielle Schneider
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Roseanne Barr, John Goodman, Sara Gilbert
• “The Talk” (CBS): Yara Shahidi, Ellen K, guest co-host Carnie Wilson
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Madonna, Letitia Wright
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): John Krasinski, Greta Gerwig ( R )
• “Roseanne” (ABC): In the premiere of the sitcom’s reboot, Roseanne and Dan adjust to living under the same roof with Darlene and her two children, Harris and Mark, when Darlene loses her job. Meanwhile, Becky announces she is going to be a surrogate to make extra money.
• “Splitting Up Together” (ABC): In the premiere, after breaking the news to their friends and family about their divorce, Lena has to deal with her son Mason’s growing pains.
• “The Voice” (NBC): The battle round concludes. Adam’s final pairing lights up the stage with an energetic performance of a chart-topping power ballad by Heart.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Kendrick Lamar – A biography about him is in the works. Marcus J. Moore, Senior Editor of Bandcamp and Pitchfork writer, took to Twitter to announce that he is writing the book, called ‘The Butterfly Effect: How Kendrick Lamar Ignited the Soul of Black America’, which will detail his rise to rap superstardom.
• Pink – had to bow out of a Sunday show in Detroit due to the flu. She tweeted, “I want to give you all the full show and not be hacking all the way through it and have to cut songs because of my voice,” the mother of two continued, adding that she had consulted with her doctor. She had already postponed her Friday show in Montreal.
• Nicole Scherzinger – wants to write a musical with Andrew Lloyd Webber. Although she apparently left the composer ”furious” when she dropped out of ‘Cats’ on Broadway one week before rehearsals so she could re-join ‘The X Factor’, the pair have since made up.
• The Beatles – Hundreds of previously unseen photographs of their first U.S. concerts have sold for 253,000 pounds ($358,000) at an auction in England. The photographer Mike Mitchell, who was 18 at the time, snapped the photos of the band’s performances at the Washington Coliseum and the Baltimore Civic Centre in 1964. A 1984 Mercedes once owned by George Harrison also sold for 43,200 pounds ($61,047) at the same auction.
• Phil Collins – had to perform a show from a chair in Puerto Rico on Friday due to lingering effects from a fall in which he injured his head. Word is that he still managed to put on a spectacular show for the 17,000 fans at the Puerto Rico Coliseum.
• Sinead O’Connor – who is now going by the name Magda Davitt, is set to perform in the U.S. for the first time in four years. She has shows scheduled in Portsmouth, NH April 24, and Northampton, MA April 25. A release says she plans a more extensive tour in the summer. She told Dr. Phil in September that she changed her name to be “free of parental curses.”
• Iron Maiden – ‘Stern Pinball’ have teased an Iron Maiden themed pinball machine, set to be launched in the near future. The teaser features the Maiden logo along with the introduction to their song ‘Somewhere in Time’. Stern has also created Aerosmith, Kiss, Metallica and AC/DC -themed pinball machines. (Next up: Band-themed wheelchairs?)
• Maren Morris – married longtime boyfriend Ryan Hurd on Saturday night in Nashville. Morris posted a wedding photo captioned “My last turn home” which showed off her unique wedding gown, featuring a miniskirt in front and a long train in back.
• Brett Young – was almost a contestant on ‘The Voice’. He says that a month before he signed his record deal, he was offered a spot on the reality show without an audition. After a talk with his management, he decided not to.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): Rey develops her newly discovered abilities with the guidance of Luke Skywalker, who is unsettled by the strength of her powers. Meanwhile, the Resistance prepares for battle with the First Order. (Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Mark Hamill)
• “Molly’s Game” (R-Rated, Drama): The true story of Molly Bloom, an Olympic-class skier who ran the world’s most exclusive high-stakes poker game and became an FBI target. (Jessica Chastain, Idris Elba, Kevin Costner)
• “Phantom Thread” (R-Rated, Drama): Set in 1950’s London, Reynolds Woodcock is a renowned dressmaker whose fastidious life is disrupted by a young, strong-willed woman, Alma, who becomes his muse and lover. (Vicky Krieps, Daniel Day-Lewis)
• “Acts of Violence” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): When his fiancee is kidnapped by human traffickers, Roman and his ex-military brothers set out to track her down and save her before it is too late. (Bruce Willis, Cole Hauser)
• “The Last Movie Star” (R-Rated, Drama): An aging, former movie star is forced to face the reality that his glory days are behind him. (Burt Reynolds, Ariel Winter)

FASTING FOR A SLOW(ER) DEATH:
A new Harvard study has confirmed what the ancient Egyptians knew 2,500 years ago – fasting can increase your lifespan. Researchers found that manipulating mitochondrial networks inside cells — either by dietary restriction or by genetic manipulation that mimics it — increases lifespan, and better health may result. Scientists managed to stop the aging of mitochondria, the cellular organelles responsible for providing the energy for cellular activity, in a type of earthworms called C. elegans, by subjecting them to periodic fasting. This markedly prolonged the earthworms’ short life expectancy, which in ordinary circumstances is only two weeks. They hope this is a crucial step toward being able to harness the benefits therapeutically, and to eventually be able to develop strategies that will reduce our likelihood of developing age-related diseases as we get older.
(Worms only live for two weeks? Now I don’t feel so bad for what I did to them when I was a kid!)
(Great…now I can look forward to spending my golden years starving!)
(This story NOT brought to you by Louie’s 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffet!)
-Ancient-Code

WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU?
If you want to pull out all the stops for Mom this Mother’s Day, why not treat her to a deluxe three-course meal…at McDonalds? The McD’s in Newcastle upon Tyne, England is offering a special experience for fast-food-loving moms on the big day. The first course will include her choice of Mozzarella sticks, McNuggets or carrot sticks and dip. Next comes the main course…a Big Mac, chicken sandwich, Filet-O-Fish, or a veggie burger. And for dessert, a McFlurry, fruit, a muffin or an apple pie. How much? The equivalent of US$14.
(But the memories…priceless!)
(Heck, if you’re taking Mom to McDonalds for Mother’s Day, you might as well just run her through the drive-thru!)
(Because nothing is too good for Mom…especially THIS!)
(Something tells me you might not need reservations…)
-Delish

COMMON EMOJIS YOU’RE USING WRONG:
➢ Smile With Tongue Sticking Out: Most think this one is a joking emoji. It actually is meant to signify enjoying or savoring food. (I see a tongue sticking out as a reaction to a lot of what I cook, but it doesn’t usually mean they enjoyed it!)
➢ Surprised Face: The one with the eyebrows raised and small circle for lips actually means ‘hushed’ rather than surprised. (Insert surprised face here!)
➢ Hi-Five: Yeah, actually that is supposed to be two hands praying…or saying ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. (Hi-five if you use it correctly)
➢ Peace Sign: Nope. It was designed to symbolize the ‘V’ for ‘Victory’.
➢ Hugging Face: You totally thought this one was ‘Jazz Hands’, didn’t you? Well, it’s not. It’s just an emoji wanting a hug.
➢ Sad but Relieved Face: Because of the one tear, it’s easy to get this one mixed up with a person crying, but it really symbolizes anxiety and stress.
➢ Poop: In spite of what you may have heard. This is a smiling pile of poop. Not chocolate ice cream. (Excuse me. I need to clarify a text I sent to my kids earlier…)

BS CHRONOMETER 03.27.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1963 [55] Quentin Tarantino, Knoxville TN, film producer-writer-director (“Kill Bill” movies, Oscar-“Pulp Fiction”)

1969 [49] Pauley Perrette, New Orleans LA, TV actress (‘Abby Sciuto’ on “NCIS” since 2003)

1970 [48] Elizabeth Mitchell, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Lost” 2006-2010, “Dead of Summer” 2016)

1970 [48] Mariah Carey, Huntington NY, pop singer (‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’, ‘Emotions’)/5 Grammy Awards/18 #1 singles

1971 [47] Nathan Fillion, Edmonton AB, TV actor (‘Richard Castle’ on “Castle” 2009-16)

1975 [43] Fergie (Stacy Ferguson), Whittier CA, pop singer (‘Fergalicious’, ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’, Black Eyed Peas-‘I Gotta Feeling’, ‘My Humps’)

1988 [30] Jessie J (Jessica Cornish), London UK, pop singer (‘Bang Bang’, ‘Price Tag’)/TV personality (“The Voice UK” 2012-13)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Joe Day”, when people who hate their names are to be given a break and simply called ‘Joe’. (***Ask listeners for the most horrific given names they’ve come across***)

• “Spanish Paella Day” [pie-AY-uh] , celebrating the saffron rice dish that’s basically a stew that might include, chicken, sausage, shellfish, and vegetables. It’s often cooked and served in a flat round pan.

• “International Whisk(e)y Day”, launched in 2008. The name is used with the parenthesis to indicate support of Canadian, Japanese, and Scotch whiskies (no ‘e’) as well as American and Irish whiskeys (with an ‘e’). The day aims to support Parkinson’s Disease research.

• “World Theatre Day”, established in 1961 by the International Theatre Institute. A celebration for those who can see the value and importance of the art form “theatre”.

• “Viagra Day”, celebrating the 1998 date when the ‘Little Blue Pill’ for men was approved for retail sale. Are you up for this?

• “Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day”, how about these, for instance …
– “Thanks To the Cathouse, I’m In the Doghouse With You”
– “I Wish I Were a Woman (So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me)”
– “You’re the Ring Around My Bathtub, You’re the Hangnail Of My Life”
– “My Phone Ain’t Been Ringing, So I Guess It Wasn’t You”
– “At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump”
(A listing of hundreds more here (click on ‘The Best Of the Worst Country Song Titles’) …
NET: http://www.downstream.ca )
– First published in “BS” 2015.

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Children’s Picture Book Day
[Wed] Black Forest Cake Day
[Thurs] Knights of Columbus Founders Day
[Thurs] Mom and Pop Business Owners Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [16] Brit movie actor Dudley Moore (“Arthur”, “10”) dies at age 66

2015 [03] Willie Nelson announces that he and his family are hard at work on a new brand of marijuana called “Willie’s Reserve”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1986 [32] Sammy Hagar makes his first appearance as Van Halen’s lead singer when the group begins their “5150″ tour in Louisiana.

2008 [10] 2006 “X Factor UK” winner Leona Lewis hits #1 on the singles chart with ‘Bleeding Love’

2008 [10] Country singer Trace Adkins is one of the finalists on Season 7 of “The Celebrity Apprentice” (NBC), but loses the battle to TV personality/tabloid editor Piers Morgan

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2014 [04] Doctors announce that a 3D-printed plastic skull has been successfully used to replace part of a woman’s real skull in an operation in the Dutch city of Utrecht

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The at-sign, @, is not a modern invention. It has been found on documents as far back as the year 1345
✓ Our brain’s cognitive decline starts at age 24, according to a study.
✓ Only 8% of the world’s currency is physical money. The rest exists only on computers.
✓ Google takes over 200 factors into account to deliver the best results for any query in a fraction of a second.
✓ There are more chickens than people in the world.
✓ The chances of us eating even one spider in our sleep throughout our lifetime is close to 0%
-FactSlides

BS CHANGE A WORD…CHANGE A SLOGAN:
• Like a good neighbor, stay over there!
• Today is the first day of the rest of your sentence.
• Subway – “Eat Flesh”
• I’ve fallen and I can’t get Wi-Fi.
• There a nap for that.
• Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s photoshop.
• Red Bull gives you wigs.
• Have a toke and a smile.
• Can you beer me now?
• The Stripper-picker-upper
-Twitter

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the worst ‘cooking disaster’ that you have ever had…or witnessed?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I achieved a new personal best in the 100 metre dash today — 43 metres.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 3 out of 5 of us believe this will no longer exist in their lifetime?
Answer: cash money

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Work hard in silence, let your success be your noise.


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