Friday, March 29, 2013       Edition: #4952

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s “BS”!

✳ “Mad Men” star Jon Hamm would like you to stop looking at his ham. “They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason”, he says in a new interview. Hamm’s ham was thrust into the spotlight this week when reports surfaced that his impressive equipment was distracting cast and crew on-set. A source inside the AMC show says Jon’s 1960s-style pants are so tight, they leave little to the imagination. As a result the show has reportedly politely requested he wear underwear.
✳ The millionaire stars of the wildly popular A&E reality show “Duck Dynasty” are reportedly hunting for even more cash. The Robertson family, famous for their ‘Duck Commander’ brand of hunting whistles, are stalling the show’s 4th season by demanding over $200,000 per episode. And they may get it. “Duck Dynasty” was the #3 show on cable last week.
✳ Filmmaker Andy Wachowski and his transgender sister Lana are following in the footsteps of Golden Globe-winner David Fincher (“House of Cards”) by directing an original series for Netflix. “The Matrix” masterminds will crank out 10 episodes of “Sense8”, a new sci-fi show set for release on the online streaming service next year.
✳ Lindsay Lohan is shooting her guest appearance on Charlie Sheen’s TV comedy “Anger Management” this week. Day 1 she showed up an hour early and was super well-behaved … which obviously couldn’t last. Day 2 she delayed shooting big-time, an insider saying production ran several hours behind schedule, mostly due to her tardiness. She’s expected to report for a 90-day locked rehab sentence any day now … or maybe next month if she gets around to it.
✳ And screen heartthrob Ryan Gosling (“The Place Beyond the Pines”) has announced that he’s taking a break from acting. Around-the-world cries and screams have been heard from women shouting “WHY?!” Well, fret no more! UK on-demand movie site has come to the rescue with the 24-hour #Gosline. Simply call the hotline to hear a ‘soothing message from your favorite Canadian hunk’.
PHONER: 011-44-7857-238825 (NOT toll-free)

• “Game Of Thrones” (HBO) – Sunday the 3rd season debut. This season’s guest stars include Coldplay drummer Will Champion and Snow Patrol singer Gary Lightbody. NY brewery Ommegang is partnering with HBO to release ‘Game of Thrones’-themed beers to coincide with series 3. The first is ‘Iron Throne’, on shelves this Sunday.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight RDGLDGRN (“Red Gold Green”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight ZZ Ward (“Til the Casket Drops”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Prince (“20Ten”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Kendrick Lamar (“Good Kid: MAAD City”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Ed Sheeran (“+”).
• Lollapalooza Brasil (São Paulo) – This weekend’s return of the Brazilian edition features the Black Keys, Deadmau5, The Killers, Pearl Jam, Queens Of the Stone Age and more.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Rerun double header: Host Jamie Foxx (“Django Unchained”); musical guest Ne-Yo (“RED”); followed by host/musical guest Justin Bieber.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Vocalists perform for the panel of coaches in back-to-back reruns from the current season.
• “Walking Dead” (AMC) – Sunday the season 3 finalé, “Welcome To the Tombs”, promises to deliver a huge TV audience. Behind-the-scenes pics posted online seem to be missing ‘Hershel’, ‘Beth’, and little ‘Carl’. Could that mean …gulp!

• Airborne Toxic Event – Saturday their new North American headlining tour begins in San Diego CA and rolls through June 1st in Visalia CA. Their 3rd album, “Such Hot Blood”, is due April 30th.
• Justin Timberlake – “The 20/20 Experience” has quickly become the best-selling album of 2013 and his most successful debut as a solo artist. In its first week the album shot straight to #1, according to Nielsen SoundScan. Internationally, it’s #1 on iTunes in 89 countries.
• Kacey Musgraves – The newcomer’s album “Same Trailer, Different Park” has debuted at #1 on the new ‘Country Albums’ chart, according to “Billboard”.
• Kings Of Leon – Bassist Jared Followill has confirmed that the band’s new album is finished and will be out in September. No word on an exact release date or title for the project.
• Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Macklemore (real name Ben Haggerty) tells “Rolling Stone” he struggles to maintain sobriety on the road because he doesn’t have time to attend AA meetings in between gigs. The “Thrift Shop” hitmaker has been sober since Summer 2008.
• Rolling Stones – As expected, it’s been announced they’ll headline this year’s Glastonbury Festival in June, their first-ever appearance at Britain’s premier Summer concert. Mick Jagger’s not afraid of the event’s notorious wet weather, tweeting “I’ve got my wellies ready.”
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs – In the video for their latest single “Sacrilege”, red-haired Brit model Lily Cole plays an amorous girl who seduces a vicar and subsequently gets burned at the stake.

• “GI Joe: Retaliation” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): In this follow-up to the 2009 film, the GI Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy ‘Cobra’, they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence. Stars Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, DJ Cotrona, Channing Tatum, and aging action man Bruce Willis.
• “The Host” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): When an unseen enemy threatens mankind by taking over bodies and erasing memories, a courageous woman risks everything to protect the people she cares most about. Based on the novel by “Twilight” author Stephenie Meyer. Stars Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel, and Diane Kruger.
• “Tyler Perry’s Temptation” ( PG-13 Drama ): In this latest project from prolific filmmaker Tyler Perry, an ambitious married woman’s temptation by a handsome billionaire leads to betrayal, recklessness, and forever alters the course of her life. Stars Jurnee Smollett-Bell, Vanessa Williams, Brandy Norwood, and – really? – Kim Kardashian.
• Opening in limited release: “Mental” (Dramedy) ; “The Place Beyond the Pines” (Crime Drama); “Room 237” (Documentary); “Welcome To the Punch” (Crime Thriller); and “Wrong” (Dramedy).

✗ Yelling ‘bingo’ when nobody has won can get you in trouble with the law, at least if you’re in District Court in Covington, Kentucky. As part of an 18-year-old’s punishment for doing just that (deemed 2nd-degree disorderly conduct), a judge has ordered him to not even say the word ‘bingo’ for 6 months. Bingo players take the game extremely serious, don’t you know.
– Gannett News
✗ If you’re thinking of buying a faux fur coat because it’s the moral thing to do, think again.  An investigation by the Humane Society in Britain has revealed that faux fur jackets by designer Marc Jacobs actually contain … dog fur. It’s said to be from soft and cuddly Chinese raccoon dogs. Seems shearing pooches is way cheaper than manufacturing synthetic fur.
✗ Security officials at Guangzhou Airport in China stopped a South Korean passenger trying to carry a forbidden bottle of liquid onto a flight. They told her to drink her beverage or discard it. She drank the fluid but refused to swallow. That’s when cops made her spit into a bucket and they discovered … she was trying to sneak aboard dozens of tadpoles. Urp.

According to a recent university study, goldfish remember better in cold water than in warm water. (But what’s a goldfish have to remember? “Don’t run into the glass, don’t run into the glass, don’t …”)
– “Fun Facts”


1959 [54] Perry Farrell, Queens NY, rock singer (Jane’s Addiction-“Just Because”, Porno for  Pyros-“Pets”)/”Lollapalooza” founder (1991)

1971 [42] Lara Logan, Durban, South Africa, TV correspondent (“60 Minutes” since 2005)

1981 [32] Megan Hilty, Bellevue WA, TV actress (“Smash” 2012-13)/Broadway actress (“9 to 5: The Musical”)

1985 [28] Maxim Lapierre, Saint-Léonard QC, NHL hockey center (Vancouver Canucks)

Rock musician Eric Clapton (“Change the World”) is 68; TV personality Piers Morgan (“Piers Morgan Tonight”) is 48; Pop singer Celine Dion (“My Heart Will Go On”) is 45; Pop singer Norah Jones (“Don’t Know Why”) is 34; Pop singer-songwriter Anna Nalick (“Breathe [2 AM]”) is 29; Country singer Justin Moore (“If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away”) is 29.

Movie actor Christopher Walken (“The Deer Hunter”) is 70; Classic rock guitarist Angus Young (AC/DC) is 58; Folk-rock bassist Bob Crawford (Avett Bros) is 42; Movie actor Ewan McGregor (“Moulin Rouge”) is 42; Indie rock guitarist Ryland Blackinton (Cobra Starship) is 31; Indie rock guitarist Jack Antonoff (fun.) is 29.

• “Good Friday”, observed since about 100 AD. There are few explanations as to why it’s known as ‘Good’ Friday since it commemorates a sorrowful time in Christianity. It’s a national holiday in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and the UK but not in the USA where it varies state-by-state.
• “Mom & Pop Business Owners Day”, honoring family-run, small-time business operations. Ask listeners for the most unusual combination of services offered by a single business that they’ve come across, ie: “Al’s Roofing & Dry Cleaning”.
• “Vietnam Veterans Day”. The last US troops left Vietnam 40 years ago today in 1973. In 1971, at the height of the conflict, some 33,000 soldiers deserted, many moving to Canada.

• “Doctors Day”, an observance dating back 80 years to 1933 that commemorates the 1st use of anaesthetic during surgery by one Dr Crawford W Long in 1842. He got the idea by observing party-goers hammered on nitrous oxide and sulfuric ether.
• “Dubai World Cup” in the UAE, the 18th running of the world’s richest horse racing event that features 9 group races and prize money of $27.25 million.
• “Pencil Day”, observed on the anniversary of the ‘Pencil with Attached Eraser’ being patented 155 years ago (1858) by Hyman Lipman … thereby giving us all something to chew on.

• “Bunsen Burner Day”, honoring the 1811 birth date of its inventor, Robert Wilhelm Eberhard von Bunsen of Germany. Thanks to him, hundreds of high school labs have been blown up!
• “Easter, the moveable Christian feast, meaning it’s not fixed to a calendar date. It falls at some point between late March & late April each year, following the cycle of the Moon. Since its origins, it has been a time of celebration and feasting. Worldwide, many traditional Easter activities involve eggs, such as Egg Rolling, Egg Tapping, Pace Egging, and Egg Decorating.
• “She’s Funny That Way Day”, paying tribute to the female funny bone. How do the women in your life make you laugh? Ask for quirky things that funny ladies do.

1985 [28] Madonna makes her movie debut in “Desperately Seeking Susan” (her shaky filmography moves on to include “Shanghai Surprise”, “Dick Tracy”, “Body of Evidence”, “Evita”, and “Swept Away” … how does she keep getting roles?)

2006 [07] (Sir) Tom Jones is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II at Buckingham Palace

2008 [05] 35 countries and more than 370 cities join in “Earth Hour” for the first time

2009 [04] General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner resigns at the request of the Obama administration as the company flounders on the brink of bankruptcy (both GM and failing Chrysler Corp eventually make a comeback)

1990 [23] ‘World’s Largest Yo-Yo’ goes up-and-down 12 times while suspended from a 160-foot crane (built by a Jasonville, Indiana high school woodworking class, it measures 6-ft in diameter and weighs 820 lbs)

[Apr 1] April Fools Day / Easter Monday / Atheist Day / Dyngus Day / International Tatting Day / Fun at Work Day / St Stupid Day / Tater Day / White House Easter Egg Roll
[Apr 2] International Children’s Book Day / Love Your Produce Manager Day / Peanut Butter & Jelly Day / Reconciliation Day / World Autism Day
[Apr 3] Find a Rainbow Day / Whole Grain Sampling Day / Day of Hope / Walking Day / Paraprofessional Appreciation Day
[Apr 4] Fleetwood Mac world tour begins (Columbus OH) / International Day for Mine Awareness / Vitamin C Day / World Rat Day
[Apr 5] NCAA Final Four weekend (Atlanta GA) / Deep Dish Pizza Day / Hospital Admitting Clerks Day / Walk to Work Day
[Apr 6] New Beers Eve / Drowsy Driver Awareness Day / Love Our Children Day / Student Athlete Day / Tartan Day / Teflon Day / International Pillow Fight Day
[Apr 7] “48th ACM Awards” (CBS) / “Mad Men” season debut (AMC) / International Beaver Day / Metric System Day / Beer Day / No Housework Day / World Health Organization Day
[Apr 8] Buddha Day / Trading Cards For Grown-ups Day
[Apr 9] Equal Pay Day / Be Kind to Lawyers Day / Cherish an Antique Day / Former POW Recognition Day
[Apr 10] SPCA Day / Farm Animals Day / Sibling Day / Safety Pin Day
[Apr 11] Country Thunder begins (Florence AZ) / Barbershop Quartet Day / Pet Day / World Parkinson’s Disease Day
[Apr 12] Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day /  Crossroads Guitar Festival begins (NYC) / 2013 Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival begins (Indio CA) / International Day of Human Space Flight / Licorice Day / Walk on Your Wild Side Day
[Apr 13] Scrabble Day / Baby Massage Day
[Apr 14] “MTV Movie Awards” (MTV) / Fort Rock Music Festival (Fort Myers FL) / Dictionary Day / International Moment of Laughter Day / Pan American Day
[Apr 15] Boston Marathon / IRS Pay Day (USA) / Take a Wild Guess Day / That Sucks Day
[Apr 16] All For the Hall Concert (Nashville TN) / Healthcare Decisions Day / Library Workers Day / Stress Awareness Day / One Day Without Shoes Day
[Apr 17] Bat Appreciation Day / Blah! Blah! Blah! Day / Haiku Poetry Day / Ford Mustang Day / Nothing Like a Dame Day
[Apr 18] Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2013 Induction (LA) / Adult Autism Day / Columnists Day / Golf Day / Pet Owners Independence Day / High Five Day / Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day / Poem In Your Pocket Day / Support Teen Literature Day
[Apr 19] Day of Silence / Hanging Out Day / Yom HaShoah (Jewish) / DNA Day
[Apr 20] Stone Music Festival (Sydney NSW) / Record Store Day 2013 / Auctioneers Day / Husband Appreciation Day / Pot Smokers Day
[Apr 21] “2013 Juno Awards” (CTV) / Kindergarten Day
[Apr 22] Earth Day / Jelly Bean Day
[Apr 23] Movie Theater Day / Teach Your Children to Save Day / Talk Like Shakespeare Day / World Book & Copyright Day
[Apr 24] Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day / Administrative Professionals Day / International Guide Dogs Day
[Apr 25] Full ‘Pink’ Moon / DNA Day / Hairstylists Appreciation Day / Malaria Awareness Day / Hug a Plumber Day / Red Hat Society Day / World Penguin Day / Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day (USA)
[Apr 26] 2013 Stagecoach Music Festival begins (Indio CA) / New Orleans Jazz Festival begins / Welcome to Rockville Festival begins (Jacksonville FL) / Hug an Australian Day / Audubon Day / Kids & Pets Day / Richter Scale Day / Hairball Awareness Day
[Apr 27] Babe Ruth Day / Bulldogs are Beautiful Day / Go Birding Day / Save the Frogs Day / Sense of Smell Day / World Tai Chi Day / World Healing Day / World Veterinary Day
[Apr 28] Biological Clock Day / Pet Parents Day / Mother, Father Deaf Day / Workers Memorial Day
[Apr 29] Dance Day / Zipper Day
[Apr 30] CRA Tax deadline (Canada) / Bugs Bunny Day / International Jazz Day / Honesty Day / Spank Out Day / Walpurgis Night / World Healing Day


Ask a listener/studio guest/crew member to rate the following as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’ as you read the items off rapid-fire …
• Staying home on Friday night.
• Staying home on Saturday night.
• Not wearing socks.
• Continental breakfast.
• Steak & eggs for breakfast.
• TV shows on the Internet.
• People who hum in public.
• Easter egg hunts.
• Acting your age.
• Sleeping in on long weekends.

Which is the most common age for a woman to have an affair?
a. 28
b. 45 [CORRECT]
c. 61
– “Maxim Magazine”

I read that the average glass of tap water has passed through 9 other people. And lord knows how many different lungs that air you’re breathing has been in!

Finding it too easy to sleep? Here’s a new website called ‘Actresses Without Teeth’ that eliminates the molars in pics of some of your favorites. Creepy!

☎ What’s the weirdest sign you’ve seen while driving around lately?

Question: Back in the 1950s 90% of women used THESE; today about 10%.
Answer: Aprons.

Keep your words soft and sweet, in case you have to eat them later.

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