Wednesday, March 29, 2017 – Edition: #5942

Sheet Happens!

★ The ‘Cash Me Ousside’ girl is getting her own reality show, how bout dah? 14-year-old human meme Danielle ‘Cash Me Ousside’ Bregoli could become a multi-millionaire by the end of the year thanks to a new deal she just signed with a major TV production company. Trash TV’s reigning wild child has signed on the dotted line for her own reality TV series, which will likely feature lots of drama, fights, smack-talk, and soul-crushing shenanigans that Danielle and her foul mouth will get into.
★ Hollywood star Scarlett Johnasson (“Ghost In the Shell”, opening Friday) is set for a bitter battle to keep physical custody of her 3-year-old daughter Rose. Her estranged husband Romain Dauriac has petitioned to get full custody of his daughter, claiming his ex-wife cannot manage her busy work schedule alongside bringing up their child. The actress and her former partner split after 2½ years of marriage. In a statement Romain’s lawyers say he plans to petition the court to allow him and his daughter to move to France.
★ Actor Cillian Murphy says smartphones are destroying storytelling in the movies. How so? Modern action movies have to give too much prominence to technology and that often sidetracks attention from the main storyline. For authenticity modern movie scripts have to write in tech problems like expired batteries or cut in a line saying something such as, “No signal! What’s happening?” The 40-year-old actor says his upcoming thriller “Free Fire” is set in comparatively tech-free 1978, an important factor in him signing up for the Ben Wheatley action film.
– “Metro”
★ “True Detective” may be revived for 3rd season on HBO. The 1st season of the crime series, starring Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson, drew positive reviews and high ratings in 2014. The 2nd season with Colin Farrell, Rachel McAdams, and Vince Vaughn was less successful both critically and in drawing audience. That led to the future of the project being put on hold. But now show creator Nic Pizzolatto has penned the first 2 episodes for a potential 3rd edition. HBO has yet to decide whether or not another season will be greenlighted.
– “Entertainment Weekly”
★ And Lewis Hamilton says he wants to make a film about his life. The 32-year-old British Formula One champion racing driver, wants to swap lap-times for screen-time and both produce and star in the bio-movie. Sharing his visions with the Confidential On Nova radio show, he modestly says: ”I would probably play myself. I have not seen an actor that looks like me or that I’d particularly want to represent me.”
– Bang Showbiz

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Strand of Oaks (“Hard Love”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Weezer performs “Feels Like Summer”, the first single from their as-yet-unnamed 11th album, due out later this year. Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Night Beats (“Who Sold My Generation”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Bastille (“Wild World”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Luke Bryan & Dierks Bentley (“ACM Awards, coming this Sunday).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Zac Brown Band (“Welcome Home”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Michael Bolton (“Michael Bolton’s Big Sexy Valentine’s Day Special”). Rerun.

• Chance the Rapper – He’s begun advertising for a new intern on Twitter, and has already been inundated with applications. The Grammy-winner is looking for résumés from ‘experienced creative professionals’.
• Drake – His fans in Amsterdam, The Netherlands are not happy after his gig there has been postponed … for the 3rd time. After waiting 75 minutes Monday night, the audience was told that he was ill. After the announcement some fans booed, while others began throwing beer.
• Florida Georgia Line – They’ve sold out their first-ever stadium dates on this year’s “The Smooth Tour 2017”. The dates include Boston MA’s Fenway Park on July 7th, Minneapolis MN’s Target Field on July 29th, and Chicago IL’s Wrigley Field on August 12th.
• Halsey – She says her upcoming album, “Hopeless Fountain Kingdom”, is a bit of a concept album with a sci-fi theme. She claims her participation on The Chainsmokers’ hit “Closer” helped to fine-tune her new music. “Hopeless Fountain Kingdom” arrives June 2nd.
• Matchbox Twenty / Counting Crows – The throw-back bands are teaming up for a co-headlining tour this year. The trek, titled “A Brief History of Everything”, begins in Spokane WA on July 12th and runs up to October 1st in Dallas TX.
• One Direction – Louis Tomlinson is due in court today regarding that incident in which he’s accused of attacking a photographer at LAX. His lawyer claims the singer was “provoked” by a paparazzo and was protecting his girlfriend, Eleanor Calder.
• Zac Brown Band – Zac Brown and his wife Shelly have spent $330,000 … on a prize steer. The Browns topped the bidding on the ‘Reserve Champion’ at the 2017 RodeoHouston auction over the weekend. The mixed-breed steer is named ‘Magic’.

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 82% of people polled think that using a phone in social settings hurts the conversation.
• 74% of people now own an internet-connected smartphone.
• 61% of us say “I love you” via smartphone (only 20% in person).
• 60% of women say they don’t believe their guy when he says he’s sick.
• 19% of workplaces have rules that forbid gambling (ie: Final Four).
• 10% of those working at home say the main reason they like it is they don’t have to work as much.

Consumers believe healthy food needs to be more expensive than cheap eats and that higher-priced food is healthier, according to new research from Ohio State University. This not only means that marketers can charge more for products that are touted as healthy, but that consumers may not believe a product is healthy if it doesn’t cost more. All this belief in the health power of expensive foods is unfounded – there is no supporting evidence to suggest that it’s true. There are certainly categories of food where healthy is more expensive, such as some organic and gluten-free products, but it is not necessarily true all the time. (This week’s health food special: “Box o’ Bark and Twigs”, only $49.99)
– “Science Daily”

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Beditate’ – To meditate in bed. (“I can’t get up for breakfast right now, I’m beditating … under the covers.”)
• ‘Dopamine Dressing’ – Wearing clothes that boost one’s mood. (Presumably for women these days, this would involve leggings.)
• ‘Track-a-Holism’ – The compulsion to monitor one’s health and fitness metrics, particularly those generated by apps and electronic devices. (“Look at this! My muscular endurance reading is up 0.5 in the last 2 minutes!”)

According to a new study by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons, female athletes, in particular soccer players, suffer concussions at a significantly higher rate than their male counterparts. In matched sports, girls are 12.1% more likely to sustain a concussion than boys. In basketball, for example, concussions only account for 8.8% of boys’ injuries, but 25.6% of girls’ injuries. Why? The researchers speculate that the neck muscles of girls just aren’t as developed as boys, so they don’t have the muscles to cushion the impact. So the riskiest school sports for concussion turn out to be: girls’ soccer, girls’ volleyball, and girls’ basketball. (Just to be safe, we should all wear helmets all the time.)
– “Washington Post”

• You’re not rinsing them before putting them in the dishwasher. It can cook on leftovers.
• You’re putting sharp knives in the dishwasher. It eventually makes them dull.
• Dishes and plates go on the bottom rack; glasses and mugs go on the top.
• You put wooden utensils in the dishwasher. Wood absorbs water and cracks under dry heat.
• Overloading your dishwasher will cause nothing to get clean.
• If the door to the detergent pod is left open, all the soap goes down the drain with the first jet of water.
• Dishwasher detergent and dish soap are very different and should never be interchanged.
• Every time you wash your cast iron, you should be applying a light coat of oil.
• Dish towels that have wiped down the counter, been used to clean up spills or to dry hands should never be used to dry dishes.
• You think that hand-washing all your dishes saves water. It doesn’t.
– Adapted from

Nearly half of women shoppers won’t bother with a store unless … it has a sale. And not just any sale: 45% of female consumers say they will only walk into a store if they’re enticed by sales promising a saving of 41% or more. About 39% of all consumers will head to a different stores to find the same product cheaper. These stats explain the plethora of real and made-up occasions that retailers plan sales around. The findings support a previous report, which last year found that two-thirds of all shoppers are ‘off-price consumers’. Consumers not seeing the value of paying full price is a key driver of the markdown challenge that has been plaguing retailers for years, the study concludes. (This is why some ‘Going Out of Business Sales’ last 15 years.)
– “New York Daily News”

• Unless big environmental changes are made, there will be more plastic than fish in the sea by 2050.
– “Quartz”
• One man works full-time washing the 150 windows at the White House in Washington DC. He also spends 2 days cleaning each of the East Room’s 3 chandeliers, sitting on a scaffold to wash and polish each piece of glass individually.
– “Disney Adventures”


1959 [58] Perry Farrell, Queens NY, rock singer (Jane’s Addiction-“Just Because”, Porno for Pyros-“Pets”)/”Lollapalooza” founder (1991)

1971 [46] Lara Logan, Durban, South Africa, TV correspondent (“60 Minutes” since 2005)

• “Manatee Appreciation Day”, devoted to raising awareness of these quirky creatures native to Florida, Mexico, and the Caribbean. Unfortunately, these aquatic mammals known for their immense size and jowly appearance are now an endangered species.

• “Mom & Pop Business Owners Day”, honoring family-run, small-time business operations. Ask listeners for the most unusual combination of services offered by a single business that they’ve come across, ie: “Sam’s Roofing & Dry Cleaning”.

• “Smoke & Mirrors Day”, celebrated on March 29th of each year. The source of the name is based on magicians’ illusions, in which they make objects appear or disappear by extending or retracting mirrors amid a confusing burst of smoke. Generally, ‘smoke and mirrors’ may refer to any sort of presentation by which the audience is intended to be deceived. (A press conference, for instance.)

• “Vietnam Veterans Day”. The last US troops left Vietnam 44 years ago today in 1973. In 1971, at the height of the conflict, some 33,000 soldiers deserted, many moving to Canada.

2007 [10] “Umbrella” by Rihanna f/Jay-Z is released and goes on to become the longest-running #1 hit by a female artist since Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You”

2009 [08] Nickelback rules Canada’s Juno Awards, winning ‘Album Of the Year’, ‘Group Of the Year’, and the ‘Fan Choice Award’

2004 [13] Ireland becomes the 1st country in the world to ban smoking in all workplaces, including bars and restaurants

2008 [09] 35 countries and more than 370 cities join in “Earth Hour” for the first time

2014 [03] 1st same-sex marriages in England and Wales are performed

1990 [27] ‘World’s Largest Yo-Yo’ goes up-and-down 12 times while suspended from a 160-foot crane (built by a Jasonville, Indiana high school woodworking class, it measures 6-ft in diameter and weighs 820 lbs)

[Thurs] Doctors Day
[Thurs] World Bipolar Day
[Fri] “The Boss Baby”; “Ghost In the Shell” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Transgender Day of Visibility
[Sun] “Juno Awards” (CTV)
[Sun] “ACM Awards” (CBS)
This Week Is … Health Information Professionals Week
This Month Is … Athletic Training Month


✗ Upon walking into the office, ask the receptionist to hold all your calls.
✗ Point and laugh uncontrollably at the family photo on the interviewer’s desk.
✗ Ask if it’s OK if you sit on the floor.
✗ Mention your résumé would have been stronger but you didn’t feel like making anything else up.
✗ Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier.
✗ Note that you’d have little impact on the company’s overhead, because you already swiped all the supplies from your last job.
✗ After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify that with, “Of course I was totally hammered at the time.”

At rifle competitions, the best team always wins by a long shot.

• Which was such a status symbol in 18th-century Europe that you could rent one for a party?
a. Parasol
b. Peacock
c. Pineapple [CORRECT]
d. Petticoat

• Ancient Romans where usually poisoned by what?
a. Hemlock [CORRECT]
b. Halogen
c. Hydrochloric Acid
d. Ham

☎ What is your biggest concern about the future?

Question: Stats show you are most likely to do THIS on a Wednesday.
Answer: Accidentally fall asleep.

The only person who needs to understand you is you.

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