Friday, March 3, 2017 – Edition: #5924

100% Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Both Barack & Michelle Obama have book deals with Penguin Random House. Financial terms have not been disclosed, though sources tell Politico the auction for publishing rights went higher than $60 million. Barack Obama’s book is a strong contender to attract the largest advance for any ex-president; the previous record is believed to be $15 million for Bill Clinton’s “My Life”. Titles and release dates for the Obama books have not been announced.
– AP
★ Alec Baldwin’s “Saturday Night Live” impression of Donald Trump is now hitting the page as a parody memoir titled “You Can’t Spell America Without Me: The Really Tremendous Inside Story of My Fantastic First Year as President Donald J Trump”. The mocku-memoir, co-written by Kurt Anderson, is being released November 7th. Publisher Penguin Books says it features candor on what Trump really thinks about his family, world leaders, and major events.
– NYDailyNews.com
★ Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt divorced in 2005 after a 5-year marriage, but according to new reports they’re still in touch as friends. A source says the actors have been regularly texting each other ever since Pitt’s split from Angelina Jolie. “They have been friends for a while and often text,” the source tells “People” magazine. “This is nothing new, he didn’t have to jump through hoops to get Jennifer’s number.”
– Refinery29.com
★ And “Quantico” (ABC) star Priyanka Chopra says her lips are her most ‘prominent feature’, and she regularly uses a home-made lip scrub to plump her pout. The 34-year-old actress says she concocts a homemade lip scrub made of sea salt, rose water, and a little vegetable glycerine to help exfoliate, moisturize, and flesh out her assets. Speaking about skincare treatments, she notes: “Women in India tend to use natural products.” (Tried peanut butter on your lids lately?)

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Rascal Flatts (“Rewind”).
• “Feud: Bette & Joan” (FX) – Sunday the debut of producer Ryan Murphy’s new 8-episode series that details the animosity between film legends Bette Davis (played by Susan Sarandon) and Joan Crawford (Jessica Lange). The show’s 2nd season in 2018 spotlights the doomed royal couple Charles & Diana.
• “Harry” (syndicated) – Today Ro James (“Eldorado”).
• “iHeartRadio Music Awards” (TBS/TNT) – Sunday Ryan Seacrest hosts the 4th annual honors from The Forum in Los Angeles. Performances by The Chainsmokers, Ed Sheeran, Katy Perry, Noah Cyrus w/Big Sean, Shawn Mendes, Thomas Rhett and others. Bruno Mars receives the ‘iHeartRadio Innovator Award’.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Band of Skulls (“By Default”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Tonight Fitz & The Tantrums (self-titled). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Gwen Stefani (“The Voice”); Tove Lo (“Lady Wood”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Mike Posner (“At Night, Alone.”).
• “Patsy Cline: American Masters” (PBS) – Saturday a documentary on the life and legacy of the legendary country singer, narrated by Rosanne Cash.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Octavia Spencer (“Hidden Figures”); musical guest Father John Misty (“Pure Comedy”, out April 7th).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Ed Sheeran (“÷”, out today).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today Jennifer Lopez (“Shades of Blue” Season 2 premiere on Sunday).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Today Fat Joe & Remy Ma (“Plata O Plomo”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – This week she played her first stadium show in Perth, Australia and revealed that the scheduled fireworks display had been scrapped after her 4-year-old son Angelo was hit in the eye by debris during rehearsal. Ouch.
• Avril Lavigne – She’s signed a new deal with BMG in advance of her new album, her 6th, due later in 2017. Quote: “At this point in my career and in my life I just wanted to put fresh energy around me and I feel like I’m having somewhat of a rebirth in my life.”
• Brett Eldredge – “Somethin’ I’m Good At” is the lead single from a forthcoming album due out this Summer.
• Coldplay – Their new promotional ‘non-single’ “Hypnotised” is the first release from a new EP entitled “Kaleidoscope” that’s on the way June 2nd. The band hits the road again on their major #AHFOD world tour beginning March 31st in Singapore.
• DJ Khaled – He’s lined up to be the mentor for Pharrell Williams’ team on this season of “The Voice” (NBC).
• Ed Sheeran – Today his new album “÷” (divide) is released. The 25-year-old is making his musical comeback following a year-long hiatus. The album’s 1st single, “Shape Of You”, broke the record for single-day streams on Spotify with over 7.9 million streams.
• Katy Perry – She’s now the most-viewed female artist on Vevo with 11.1 billion views, surpassing Rihanna. Perry’s new video “Chained to the Rhythm” has been viewed over 32 million times since its release last month.
• Lorde – She’s confirmed on Twitter that her new single is titled “Green Light” and it debuts today at 2 pm ET (8 am in her home country of New Zealand).
• Regina Spektor – Sunday in Montréal QC she embarks on a North American tour that concludes at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley CA on April 7th. Every pair of tickets sold includes a standard CD or digital version of Spektor’s new album, “Remember Us to Life”.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Before I Fall” ( PG-13 Mystery ): The first buzzy Sundance 2017 movie to enjoy a theatrical release centers around a teen who is inexplicably stuck living the final day of her charmed life over one inexplicable week. In the process she untangles the mystery around her death and discovers everything she’s in danger of losing. Stars Zoey Deutch, Halston Sage, Cynthy Wu.
NET: http://beforeifallfilm.com
• “Logan” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ): It’s been 17 years since Hugh Jackman 1st played the mutant in “X-Men” and his final portrayal is set in the near future, when a weary ‘Logan’ cares for an ailing ‘Professor X’ in a hideout on the Mexican border. But he soon finds he needs to once again deal with dark forces. Co-stars Patrick Stewart, Dafne Keen, Boyd Holbrook.
NET: http://www.foxmovies.com/movies/logan
• “The Shack” ( PG-13 Faith-Focused Drama ): Sam Worthington stars as a grieving man who receives a mysterious, personal invitation to meet with God at a place called ‘The Shack’. Co-stars Octavia Spencer, Radha Mitchell, and country singer Tim McGraw. One critic says it may become a crossover hit with older audiences.
NET: http://www.theshack.movie
• Opening in limited release: “Donald Cried” (Dramedy); “The Last Word” (Dramedy); “My Scientology Movie” (Documentary); “Table 19” (Comedy); and “Wolves” (Drama).

PUTTING THE P IN POOL:
About 1-in-5 people admit that they’ve peed in a pool. A research team testing 31 pools and hot tubs in Canada has found evidence of urine … in every single one. On average, there are 8 gallons of urine (30 liters) in a 110,000-gal (42,000-l) pool, and the results are even grosser for hot tubs: one hotel tub, for instance, has been recorded with 3 times the urine level of the worst swimming pool in the study. The readings are taken by measuring ‘Ace-K’, an artificial sweetener found in soup, soft drinks, candy, yogurt and other foods. As it doesn’t occur in nature and 95% of it passes straight through the body, it makes a good indicator of pee levels in water. While urine itself isn’t harmful, it can react with chlorine to create disinfectant byproducts, which can be. (Ew! No wonder hot tubs are sometimes called ‘human stew’.)
– Gizmodo.com

SCALPING SCALPERS:
The UK government is planning to change the law to stop companies using ticket scalping software to scoop hundreds of tickets for concerts and re-sell them to fans at a huge profit. The law change will be based on a crackdown in New York State late last year which allows prosecutors to put firms who use ‘bots’ to buy up tickets to be jailed for a year or face heavy fines. The New York law has since expanded the definition of ‘ticket bots’ to include a variety of systems that can amass tickets before the general public can access them. It’s also become illegal to resell tickets obtained through the use of a bot, even if they are offered at face value. Britain’s amendments to its Digital Economy Bill are expected to be tabled in the next week. (With all the technology available, you’d think this practice could be easily zapped.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

FOR THE RECORD:
Looking for a break from chilly Winter weather? Might be time to book a vacation in Antarctica. New stats from the World Meteorological Organization show that the continent hit a record high temperature of 63.5 F / 17.5 C on March 24, 2015 (it can take years to verify record temps). The previous high in Antarctica was 59 F / 15 C in 1974. Scientists are tracking high temperatures on the continent because the melting of Antarctic ice could significantly raise sea levels around-the-world. (You’ll soon be able to buy beachfront property in Nebraska and Saskatchewan.)
– “USA Today”

DID YOU KNOW?
Melbourne, Australia is typically 0.3 C (0.54 F) hotter on Thursdays and Friday mornings, when commuters pour into the city, than on Sundays.
– “New Scientist”

BS CHRONOMETER 03.03.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAY . . .
1945 [72] George Miller, Brisbane, Australia, movie producer-director (“Mad Max: Fury Road”, “Happy Feet” films) UP NEXT: “Mad Max: The Wasteland” (in development).

1958 [59] Miranda Richardson, Southport UK, movie actress (“Harry Potter” films, “The Hours”)

1970 [47] Julie Bowen (Luetkemeyer), Baltimore MD, TV actress (2 Emmys-‘Claire Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

1982 [35] Jessica Biel, Ely MN, movie actress (“Hitchcock”)/former TV actress (“7th Heaven” 1996-2006)/wed to Justin Timberlake since 2012

1984 [33] Joe ‘Blower’ Garvey, Oklahoma City OK, rock guitarist (Hinder-“Is It Just Me”, “Lips Of an Angel”)

1997 [20] Camila Cabello, Havana, Cuba, pop singer (ex-Fifth Harmony-“Worth It”)/reality TV contestant (“The X Factor” 2012)

SATURDAY –
Movie actress Catherine O’Hara (“Home Alone”) is 63; TV actress Patricia Heaton (“The Middle”) is 59.

SUNDAY –
Magician Penn Jillette (“Penn & Teller Fool Us”) is 62; TV/movie actor Kevin Connolly (“Entourage”) is 43; Movie actress Eva Mendes (“Fast & Furious”) is 43.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Day of Unplugging”, a day to pledge you’ll spend time with real people and detach yourself from all electronic gadgets. The ‘day’ runs from sundown tonight to sundown tomorrow.
NET: http://nationaldayofunplugging.com/about-us/
• “Dress in Blue Day”, an initiative on the 1st Friday of March to raise awareness about colon cancer, to celebrate survivors, and to help patients in need during “Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month”.
• “Employee Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the 1st Friday in March. It’s much cheaper than handing out raises.
• “I Want You to Be Happy Day”, a day to show love, care, and concern for others. (Tomorrow is ‘Get Real, Loser, I Was Only Kidding Day’.)
• “International Ear Care Day”, an annual advocacy event that aims to raise awareness and promote ear and hearing care across the world. (As mom used to say, “Never put anything in your ear smaller than your elbow.”)
• “World Wildlife Day”, the 4th annual proclaimed by the UN to celebrate and raise awareness of the world’s wild fauna and flora (the famous nature twins).

SATURDAY –
• “Courageous Follower Day”, to dispel the myth that followers are passive or weak individuals. We often celebrate the concept of leadership, but all leaders require followers and, in fact, virtually all of us are followers at some times and leaders at others.
• “Grammar Day”, a day to celebrate clean, correct sentences and shun ungrammatical writing. Sponsored by the Society For the Promotion of Good Grammar.
• “March Forth and Do Something Day!”, a day of motivation celebrated each March 4th. Also an excuse for “Hug a Member of the Military Day”.

SUNDAY –
• “Absinthe Day” (aka ‘The Green Goddess’, ‘The Green Lady’, or ‘The Green Fairy’), long the drink of choice among artists and writers due to its supposed boost to their creative flow.
• “Mother-in-Law Day”, first celebrated 83 years ago on March 5, 1934. A similar “Mother-in-Law’s Day” is held on the 4th Sunday in October. To stay out of trouble, best remember both!
• “Multiple Personalities Day”, saluting the adage ‘We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other.’ Can multiple personalities deduct themselves as dependents on their income tax?
• “Namesake Day”, kicking off “Celebrate Your Name Week”, a day to research the origin of your name and reflect on whomever you may be named after.
NET: http://www.namesuniverse.com

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2009 [08] To celebrate the release of U2’s 12th studio album “No Line On the Horizon” and their appearance every night for a week on “Late Show with David Letterman”, NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg temporarily renames part of 53rd Street in Midtown Manhattan ‘U2 Way’

2015 [02] Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards objects to a planned £1.5 million café proposed for West Wittering Beach near his ‘Redlands’ estate in West Sussex UK

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2005 [12] Margaret Wilson is elected Speaker of the New Zealand House of Representatives, beginning a period where all the country’s highest political offices are occupied by women, making New Zealand the 1st nation in which this occurs

2009 [08] The uber-luxurious Maybach Zeppelin sedan goes on sale, with a starting price of $524,000-to-$611,000 (automaker Daimler-Benz announces only 100 will be built, each to owner specifications)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2004 [13] Belgian brewer Interbrew and Brazilian rival AmBev agree to merge in a $11.2 billion-deal that forms InBev, the ‘World’s Largest Brewer’

2005 [12] Steve Fossett flies the ‘Virgin Atlantic GlobalFlyer’ aircraft to a world record by completing the first non-stop, non-refueled, solo flight around-the-world

2008 [09] Chumbawamba breaks the record for ‘Longest Album Title’ with the 160-word new disc whose name begins: “The Boy Bands Have Won, and All the Copyists and the Tribute Bands and the TV Talent Show Producers Have Won …”, etc

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] Day Of the Dude
[Mon] Fun Facts About Names Day
[Mon] Oreo Cookie Day
[Tues] RodeoHouston begins (Houston TX)
[Tues] Unique Names Day
This Week Is … Telecommuter Appreciation Week
This Month Is …. Eye Donor Month

BULL’S BITS

BS LAWS OF DRIVING:
✓ You can get anywhere in 10 minutes … if you go fast enough.
✓ Speed bumps will have negligible effect when a vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed.
✓ The vehicle in front of you will always be travelling slower than you.
✓ No matter which lane you pick, it will eventually have a sign saying: “This Lane Ends”.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Who is the most famous (or sorta famous) person that you’ve met?

DO YOU EAT THESE FOODS ON A PLATE OR IN A BOWL?
• Salad
• Spaghetti
• Rice
• Mac & cheese
• Scrambled eggs
• Fruit salad
• Ramen noodles
• Soup
– Adapted from BuzzFeed.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’d very much like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Linguistic experts say THIS is the hardest word in the English language to pronounce.
Anser: Worcestershire [WOOS-tur-shur], as in sauce.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never leave hold of what you’ve got until you’ve got hold of something else.