Wednesday, March 30, 2011        Edition: #4473
Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s Edition of “BS”!

Word has it Simon Cowell wants ex-Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger to co-host his upcoming US version of “The X Factor” (the latest in a long series of leaks to generate buzz) . . . WWE’s John Cena is set to host 30 kids from the Make a Wish Foundation in Australia, Canada, and the USA at this weekend’s “Wrestlemania 27” in Atlanta GA (a good PR move to dim memory of his recent homophobic slurs on “WWE Raw”) . . . Unemployed actor Charlie Sheen has been tweeting about ex-wife Denise Richards stealing his dogs; she claims she was trying to rescue the pugs but one died from malnutrition anyway (and why again is it Sheen’s become a folk hero?) . . . Actor Matt Damon says kissing co-star Michael Douglas in the upcoming bio-pic “Liberace”, about the late, flamboyant pianist, will be okay because ‘transitive property’ means he’ll be making out with Catherine Zeta-Jones (next he’ll be trying to plant one on Tom Brady) . . . Sorta singer-turned-fashion flogger Jessica Simpson tells “Women’s Wear Daily” she & fiancé Eric Johnson may skip a big, fancy wedding and just elope (as if her scheming dad Joe would give up the marketing opportunity!) . . . Acting couple Scarlett Johansson (26) & Sean Penn (50) must be getting serious – she took him to actress Reese Witherspoon’s wedding on the weekend (she needed someone to carry the toaster gift) . . . And Willie Nelson’s been offered a plea deal by the prosecutor in his pot possession case stemming from the November incident when US Border Patrol found weed on his tour bus – pay $100 and sing “Blue Eyes Crying In the Rain” in the courtroom (beats the heck out of 180 days in jail and a $2,000-fine!).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The remaining finalists perform songs by Elton John.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Jennifer Hudson (“I Remember Me”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Duran Duran (“All You Need Is Now”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Goldheart Assembly (“Last Decade/Going Down Well”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – The Strokes (“Angles”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Willie Nelson w/Norah Jones & Wynton Marsalis perform “Here We Go Again”.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Dierks Bentley performs “Am I the Only One”; Sheryl Crow (“100 Miles from Memphis”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Good Charlotte (“Cardiology”).

• BoB – He tells “Spin” magazine he is currently working on the follow-up to “The Real Adventures of Bobby Ray”, and the new album could be out this year.
• Chris Brown – There are reports that neighbors in his swanky West Hollywood condo building want him to move out due to his loud music, constant stream of visitors at all hours, and his disrespectful manner. (This guy needs a life coach!)
• Christina Aguilera – Hundreds of intimate photos of her have surfaced, reportedly from a digital memory card that was found in a French hotel. RadarOnline says it’s been sent over 100 of the pics by a man attempting to sell them. (Another brilliant career move, Xtina!)
• Kings of Leon – “NY Post” reports that frontman Caleb Followill will wed fiancée Lily Aldridge in May. The rocker and the Victoria’s Secret model have been dating since 2007.
• Lil Wayne – He says he’s on ‘Twitter strike’ after his 2 consecutive Twitter accounts were both hacked. As of now, he’s shut down completely on the social network. (What a loss!)
• Pearl Jam – Singer Eddie Vedder has announced a month-long tour in support of his upcoming solo album, “Ukulele Songs”, starting June 15th in Providence RI.
• Rush – Tonight another North American leg of their “Time Machine” tour gets underway in Ft Lauderdale FL. The Canadian rockers head overseas for a month of European dates in May.
• Thompson Square – Keifer Thompson from Miami OK met wife Shawna, from Chatom AL, at a singing competition in Nashville. The two worked as solo artists before forming a duo. The country chart-topper “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not” is just their 2nd single.

In a new University of Michigan study using MRI scans, researchers have found that the same brain networks that are activated when you’re burned by hot coffee also light up when you think about … being dumped by a partner. It seems the brain doesn’t much distinguish between physical pain and intense emotional pain. Lead researcher Ethan Kross suggests that indicates ‘heartache’ and ‘painful breakups’ are more than just figures of speech. (Do bruised egos count?)

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 80% of women know their ring size, but only 20% of men. (I think I’m a 42-tall.)
• 70% of women paint their fingernails … and so do 6% of men. (“Gimme a half-inch off the sides and a clear-coat”.)
• 50% of us have at least 1 houseplant. (About 1-in-12 of which are alive.)
• 33% of us would rather give up our daily shower than morning coffee. (Wake up and smell the coffee … drinkers.)
• 25% of adults are afraid to go to the dentist. (Not surprising … a person wearing a mask wielding instruments of torture.)
• 7% of adults can not snap their fingers. ([Co-host] can’t even tap his toes.)

Stock in Berkshire Hathaway, Warren Buffett’s company, jumps every time Anne Hathaway, the actress, gets a lot of media play. Why? The claim is that it’s the fault of robo-trading algorithms, which now account for most of the market, and which sometimes rely, among other things, on trends in news coverage. (Today’s stock market tip: Invest in any company called Gaddafi.)

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Celetoid’ – A person, particularly one with little or no talent, who is briefly famous. (“It’s amazing millions of people feel the need to follow tweets from a celetoid like Kim Kardashian.”)
• ‘Slow Cinema’ – A movie genre that features slow pacing, minimalist scenes, long takes, and a focus on details and mood rather than narrative. (“We watched ‘Fool’s Gold’ on TV last night. Was that slow cinema …. or just boring?”)
• ‘Urban Miner’ – A person or company that extracts metals from discarded electronics. (“My smartphone is so out-of-date. It’s like 6 months old … worth nothing except to an urban miner.”)

The new web startup ‘Cloud Girlfriend’ promises to help guys who aren’t ready to admit, at least online, that they don’t have a significant other. The service will allow you to create the perfect girlfriend who will write on your Facebook wall and otherwise make her ghostly presence known through social media. The service has yet to officially launch, but the site is already generating interest, advising visitors to ‘register early to get in line’. (“Relationship status: Virtual.” … right, nothing embarrassing there.)
– AOL News

Thanks to the Internet, urban myths, old wive’s tales, and misinformation get circulated more thoroughly than ever. A few misconceptions about our health & physique that might surprise you …
• Fingernails and hair continue to grow after death.
• Your hair grows back thicker and darker after shaving.
• Conditioners and shampoos can cure split ends.
• Sleepwalkers should never be woken.
• You will catch a cold if you go out in wet, freezing weather.
• Men think of sex every 7 seconds.
• Different areas of the tongue taste different things.
• We use only 10% of our human brain.
• Sugar makes children hyperactive.
• Warts can be caught from other animals like toads.
The science behind these refuted statements here …

Moses Lanham Jr of Monroe MI, who bills himself as ‘Mr Elastic’, can turn his feet 120 degrees backwards. Tonight in Rome, Italy at a show hosted by Guinness World Records, he hopes to set a record for how far he can twist his feet and also how fast he can walk 20 meters with his feet turned backward. Lanham is aiming for 30 seconds. Both will be newly created records.

• More than 70% of banknotes initially reach the public via cash machines.
– BBC Business
• 3.6 billion lbs of dog waste are produced each year by the 50 million+ registered dogs in the United States. That’s enough to fill 800 football fields 1-foot-deep.
• The average teenager now sends and receives a total of 3,276 texts per month.
• Relative to watts produced, coal kills 4,000 times more people than nuclear power.
– “Grist “

When I was 4, I told my mother I wanted to be a rock star when I grow up. She said, ‘You can’t do both’. “
– Aerosmith frontman and “American Idol” judge Steven Tyler.


1945 [66] Eric Clapton, Ripley UK, classic rock singer/guitarist (Grammy Award-“Change the World”) who’s made it into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame with The Yardbirds (1992), Cream (1993), and as a solo performer (2000)

1964 [47] Tracy Chapman, Cleveland OH, folk/pop singer (“Give Me One Reason”, “Fast Car”)/4 Grammy Awards

1965 [46] Piers Morgan, Guildford UK, TV personality (CNN’s “Piers Morgan Tonight” since January, “America’s Got Talent” 2006-10, “The Celebrity Apprentice” 2008 winner)/former UK tabloid editor (“News Of the World”, “Daily Mirror”)

1968 [43] Celine Dion, Charlemagne QC, pop singer (“My Heart Will Go On”, “Because You Loved Me” )/best selling female artist of all-time (over 200 million albums worldwide)/Canadian Walk of Fame (2003)  BS FACTOID: Her new 3-year residency at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas began March 15th.

1979 [32] Norah Jones (Shankar), Brooklyn NY, pop/jazz singer (w/Willie Nelson-“Here We Go Again”, “Don’t Know Why”)/10 Grammy Awards

1984 [27] Anna Nalick, Glendora CA, pop singer/songwriter (“Shine”, “Breathe [2 AM]”)

1984 [27] Justin Moore, Poyen AR, country singer (“Backwoods”, “Small Town USA”)

• “Badminton Day”, honoring the sport anyone can play in their backyard … badly. It never really caught on when first introduced in the early 1800s, perhaps because it was then known as … ‘Poona’.

• “Doctors Day”, an observance dating back to 1933 that commemorates the first use of anaesthetic during surgery by one Dr Crawford W Long in 1842. He got the idea by observing party-goers hammered on nitrous oxide and sulfuric ether.

• “Hot Dog Day”, in celebration of the marvellous invention of the tube steak, also known as the  frank, weenie, wienie, wiener, dog, or red hot. In 1987, the city of Frankfurt, Germany celebrated the 500th birthday of the frankfurter but the invention didn’t become a ‘hot dog’ until someone sandwiched it in a bun, an idea attributed to German immigrants selling from pushcarts in NYC during the 1860s.

• “Pencil Day”, observed on the anniversary of the ‘Pencil with Attached Eraser’ being patented 153 years ago (1858) by Hyman Lipman. (Thereby giving us all something to chew on.)

• “Take a Walk In the Park Day”, to encourage us to take the time for calming and therapeutic exercise that’s so darn easy to do. (Until you get mugged.)

1964 [47] “Jeopardy!”, the ‘thinking person’s game show’, debuts on NBC-TV with Art Fleming as host and Don Pardo as announcer

1981 [30] US president Ronald Reagan is shot and seriously injured outside a Washington DC hotel by gunman John Hinckley Jr

2002 [09] Queen Mother Elizabeth of England dies in her sleep at age 101

1935 [76] 1st ‘Newfie Time’ as Newfoundland changes zone to 3.5 hours West of Greenwich

1954 [57] Canada’s 1st mass transit ‘subway’ opens in Toronto

[Thurs] She’s Funny That Way Day
[Fri] April Fools Day
[Fri] Hospital Admitting Clerks Day
[Fri] Fun at Work Day
[Sat] International Children’s Book Day
[Sat] World Autism Day
[Sat] International Pillow Fight Day
[Sun] “Academy of Country Music Awards” (CBS)
This Week Is … Spring Cleaning Week
This Month Is … Caffeine Awareness Month


• “When you stand up your thighs look half the size as when you’re sitting down.”
• “You may not be cute but the whites of your eyes are really, really white.”
• “Your son is more handsome than I would have expected.”
• “Wow, you’re smarter than you look.”
• “You may not be cute but your nose is right in the center of your face.”
• “That dress is lovely; it does wonders for your figure.”
• “Your feet are a perfect medium length; their extra width must give you really great balance.”
(Ask listeners for more!)
– Thanks to by Kate Sullivan

To soothe sore muscles, which should you add to your bath?
a. Ginger. [CORRECT. Add 2 tablespoons of ground ginger and soak for 15 minutes.]
b. Cinnamon.
c. Picante Sauce.
– “Fitness Magazine”

I laugh in the face of danger … then I hide until it goes away.

What’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line?

Today’s Question: The middle of the day in the middle of the week is the best time to do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Call customer service. Lines are the least busy at noon on Wednesdays.

There is nothing so simple that it can’t be done wrong.

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