Friday, March 7, 2014            Edition: #5175

Bully For You!

★ Conan O’Brien will be hosting the MTV Movie Awards for the 1st time this year, taking over from last year’s host Rebel Wilson. Oscar nominees “12 Years a Slave”, “American Hustle”, and “The Wolf of Wall Street” are up for ‘Movie Of the Year’, alongside “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” and “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire”. The ceremony has become famous for its quirky and random categories, such as ‘Best Kiss’, ‘Best Fight’, ‘Best Shirtless Moment’, and ‘Best WTF Moment’. The coveted ‘golden popcorn buckets’ will be handed out April 13th. (The best awards show? Certainly, one of the few that doesn’t take itself overly seriously.)
★ Netflix has exclusive access to the new Robert Rodriguez TV show “From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series”, but only for subscribers in Canada, Ireland, The Netherlands, Nordic Europe, and the UK. In the US, the show will air on El Rey Network (premiering this coming Tuesday). The series expands on Robert Rodriguez’ 1996 film, on which Quentin Tarantino served as screenwriter. Unlike other Netflix series, it won’t be released in its entirety online, but one-episode-at-a-time in line with the weekly TV airings. (Will you actually tune in to a channel for a specific show at a specific time anymore?)
★ And in a notice posted online this week, the Canadian Radio-Television Commission (CRTC) has warned that TV channels owned by Toronto-based Channel Zero – including AOV Adult Movie Channel, AOV XXX Action Clips, and AOV Maleflixxx – are not complying with the legal requirement of airing 35% Canadian content. What’s more, the broadcast regulator alleges Channel Zero is providing less than the required 90% closed captioning for its adult content. (So it seems there are a few extremely bizarre job openings on the horizon.)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight: Sky Ferreira (“Night Time, My Time”). Rerun. Saturday: Rerun of Jimmy’s post-Oscars special.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight No (“What I Like”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Tonight Joan Jett & The Blackhearts (“Unvarnished”).
• “Lindsay” (OWN) – Sunday the debut of a docu-series about troubled actress Lindsay Lohan as she leaves rehab, moves to NYC, and tries to stay sober.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Lea Michele (“Glee”).
• “Once Upon a Time” (ABC) – Sunday the series’ Spring premiere.
• “Resurrection” (ABC) – Sunday the series debut of a new fantasy drama about the residents of a town whose deceased loved ones return.
• “Revenge” (ABC) – Sunday the series’ Spring premiere.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Lena Dunham (“Girls”); The National make their “SNL” debut as musical guest (“Trouble Will Find Me”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Broken Bells (“After the Disco”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – Sunday more vocalists take part in blind auditions. Rerun.

• Adele – She could have a new album out by Fall. She’s been partnering in the studio with diverse artists ranging from Dianne Warren and Phil Collins to Ryan Tedder and Wiz Khalifa.
• Dierks Bentley – “Riser” is the #1 country album on the new “Billboard” magazine chart.
• Paramore – Today they become the latest band to launch their own sea cruise as their 4-night ‘Parahoy!’ luxury cruise embarks for the Caribbean out of Miami FL. Special guest artists include Tegan & Sara.
• Rick Ross – He claims he’s hiring an LA medical marijuana dispensary assistant to fly to Florida once a month to … roll his joints. The hip-hop heavyweight admired her talents during a trip to California and now he’s set to make her the world’s richest professional blunt-roller.
• ScHoolboy Q – He’s atop the “Billboard” all-genre album chart for next week with his new album “Oxymoron”. It’s his first #1 album and, with more than 3.3 million streams on Spotify, it’s the biggest 1st week for a US release so far this year.

• “Mr Peabody & Sherman” ( PG Family Adventure ): Director Rob Minkoff (“Lion King”) returns to animation to guide the time-traveling adventures of an advanced canine and his adopted son. Voice cast includes Ty Burrell, Max Charles, Stephen Colbert, Leslie Mann. Based on Peabody’s “Improbable History” segments on the TV cartoon “Rocky & His Friends” (1959-64).
• “300: Rise Of an Empire” ( R-Rated War Drama ): Neither Gerard Butler nor Michael Fassbender is back for this follow-up ‘Greekquel’ to the 2006 epic “300”. This time around general ‘Themistokles’ leads the charge against invading Persian forces led by mortal-turned-god ‘Xerxes’. Stars Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green.
• Opening in limited release: “The Grand Budapest Hotel” (Dramedy); “Grand Piano” (Mystery); “Jodorowsky’s Dune” (Documentary); and “Journey To the West: Conquering the Demons” (Adventure Fantasy).

Quite possibly the best invention since sliced toast – a new iOS device that wakes you up with the sweet scents and sounds of … sizzling bacon. Fresh from the ‘Oscar Mayer Institute For the Advancement of Bacon’, this porky plug-in is filled with bacon-scented liquid. The tiny accessory slides into the headphone jack of your Apple device (sorry Android and Windows fans), where you pair it with a free companion app, set an alarm, and then bask in the heavenly bacon-filled cloud wafting your way come morning. Unfortunately, this wacky device isn’t fo sale; you have to win it through a contest on Oscar Mayer’s website. (Smart promo!)

Under proposed new World Health Organization guidelines, we’re being advised that sugar should account for no more than 5% of the daily calories in our diets. That’s half the organization’s 2002 recommendation and amounts to about 25 grams a day for an adult of normal weight. The suggested limit applies to sugars added to food, as well as sugar naturally present in honey, syrups, fruit juices, and fruit concentrates. To put it into context, 5% would be about 6 teaspoons of sugar per day. (Unfortunately, a can of soda contains about 10.)

The Stephen Perse Foundation School in Cambridge UK is giving us a peek at the classroom of the future. Every pupil at the school has an iPad; and textbooks are being replaced by downloads from iTunes U, the academic version of Apple’s iTunes. Teachers at the independent school are making their own online library of lessons and course materials. Not just study notes, but actual classes incorporating video and text for each subject, including the days missed or forgotten by students. (Learning may soon become more like watching a box set of a TV series.)

Fico Eataly World, what’s being called a ‘Disneyland of food’, is being planned for Bologna, Italy. The theme park will be dedicated to gourmet, artisan Italian foods. The 80,000 square meter (20-acre) food emporium will include restaurants, grocery stores, food labs, and an aquarium. The $40 million-project is a joint partnership between high-end food market chain Eataly and the municipality of Bologna, and is slated for completion in 2015 to coincide with Expo Milano 2015. (Will there be rides? Baloney Bumper Cars? Climb the Meatball Matterhorn? The Gravy Flume?)
– “Wall Street Journal”

More than 40,000 parasites and 250 types of bacteria can be exchanged during a single kiss. (More if it’s with your dog.)


1956 [58] Bryan Cranston, Canoga Park CA, TV actor (4 Emmy Awards-“Breaking Bad” 2008-13, “Malcolm In the Middle” 2000-06)/movie actor (“Argo”, “Rock of Ages”).

1971 [43] Rachel Weisz, London UK, movie actress (“The Bourne Legacy”, Oscar-“The Constant Gardener”)

1974 [40] Jenna Fischer, Fort Wayne IN, TV actress (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actress (“Hall Pass”, “Blades of Glory”)

1975 [39] TJ Thyne, Boston MA, TV actor (‘Dr Jack Hodgins’ on “Bones” since 2005)

1980 [34] Laura Prepon, Watchung NJ, Netflix TV actress (‘Alex Vause’ on “Orange Is the New Black” since 2013, “That ‘70s Show” 1998-2006)

TV actor James Van Der Beek (“Friends with Better Lives”) is 37; Alt-rock guitarist Andy Ross (OK Go) is 35; TV personality/tattooist Kat Von D (“LA Ink”) is 32; TV actress Jessica Collins (“Revolution”) is 31.

Alt-rock drummer Shannon Leto (30 Seconds to Mars) is 44; TV personality Ben Mulroney (“eTalk Daily”) is 38; Blues-rock keyboardist Ben Tanner (Alabama Shakes) is 31; Movie-TV actress Brittany Snow (“Pitch Perfect”) is 28; TV personality/rapper/movie actor Bow Wow (“106 & Park”) is 27.

• “Cereal Day”, a day to share in the delights of crunchy ‘n crispy breakfast cereals. Celebrated on the anniversary of the world’s 1st corn flakes being served to Dr John Kellogg’s sanatarium patients in Battle Creek, Michigan (1897).
• “Day of Unplugging”, designed to help hyper-connected people of all backgrounds to embrace the ancient ritual of a day of rest. The event actually runs 2 days … through tomorrow.
• “Dress in Blue Day”, an initiative to raise awareness about colon cancer, to celebrate survivors, and to help patients in need during “Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month”.
• “Employee Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the 1st Friday in March. Hey, you’re so appreciated … you get to keep your job!
• “Frozen Dead Guy Days” festival weekend in Nederland CO, an annual celebration of Grandpa Bredo Morstoel, who died in 1989, was frozen by his grandson, and stored in a shed. Among the events: ‘Kids Coffin Races’. (Huh!?!?)
• “Middle Name Pride Day”, so stand up and be proud … Alphonse and Gertrude.
• “World’s Largest Rattlesnake Round-Up”, the 56th annual celebration in Sweetwater TX, with live rattlesnakes on display, snake-meat to eat, snake products for sale, a parade, a cook-off, and the ‘Miss Snake Charmer Pageant’ … as well as lots of snake herding, of course.

• “Genealogy Day”, observed on the Saturday of the 1st full week of March each year to promote researching and recording one’s descendants with the goal of preserving family history for succeeding generations.
• “International Women’s Day”, first suggested at a 1910 women’s conference in Copenhagen by activist Clara Zetkin. The first “IWD” was observed in Germany the next year. It’s a national holiday in China and Russia, where female workers are presented with flowers and gifts. To celebrate last year, Brazilian fast-food chain Spoleto handed a mirror to each female customer and let her eat free if she answered ‘Yes’ to the question: “Are you beautiful?”
• “Panic Day”, an annual event that encourages you to indulge all of your deepest fears and let loose a rampage of unbridled hysteria. Tearing out one’s hair, shrieking like a banshee, and sobbing uncontrollably are encouraged. So go ahead, push the panic button!

• “Daylight Saving Time” in North America begins at 2 am. The semi-annual clock reset is touted as a good excuse for “Check Your Batteries Day”, when you test and/or replace smoke alarm batteries.
• “Get Over It Day”, whatever it is that’s put that chip on your shoulder – a perceived slight, a public embarrassment, a failed relationship – it’s time to get over it and get on with your life.

2007 [07] A British movie theater allows a patron to propose to his girlfriend with a 3-minute video inserted among the trailers before the main feature (unfortunately, she was at the snack bar … kidding)

2001 [13] National Endowment For the Arts and the RIAA announce the ‘Top Songs Of the 20th Century’. Here are the first 5 …
5. Don McLean’s “American Pie”.
4. Aretha Franklin’s “Respect”.
3. Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land”.
2. Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas”.
1: Judy Garland’s rendition of “Over The Rainbow.”

2010 [04] Kathryn Bigelow (“The Hurt Locker”) becomes the 1st female director to win an Oscar

1992 [22] ‘World’s Largest Crêpe’ is fried and flipped in Bloemfontein, South Africa (41 feet, 2 inches in diameter; an inch-and-a-half deep; weighing 5,908 lbs)

[Mon] Fill Our Staplers Day
[Mon] International Day of Awesomeness
[Mon] Napping Day
[Tues] Organize Your Home Office Day
[Tues] World Plumbing Day
[Wed] SXSW 2014 begins (Austin TX)
This Week Is … Words Matter Week
This Month Is … International Listening Awareness Month


Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Someone will turn a cold shoulder to you today and your feelings will be hurt. Don’t worry, you’ll get even by turning a tepid elbow to them later.
• Taurus – You will get together with several friends and start an extremely exclusive club. Mostly just so you can have your own secret handshake.
• Gemini – Today is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting ‘Hark!’ however.
• Cancer – Someone to whom you owe money to is likely to beat the crap out of you this week. Your mother will send a ‘Thank-You’ card to the guy who did it.
• Leo – Keep telling yourself you’re almost normal. Lots of people have extra appendages.
• Virgo – An older loved one may be having problems and require your support. Therefore, you should avoid older loved one’s for the entire weekend.
• Libra – You will discover that by simply wearing a large amulet made of bones & feathers and by carrying a blowgun you can get a seat on public transportation, no matter how crowded.
• Scorpio – Today you will begin work on a life-size pterodactyl robot which you will use to terrorize the city. Either that or you’ll take a nap. It just depends what kind of mood you’re in.
• Sagittarius – Today you will join the political action group ‘Whiners For Peace’. Don’t forget to sign up for the big ‘Pout Out’ next month!
• Capricorn – Today you will suddenly realize how sensuous pudding can be. This will mark a turning point in your life.
• Aquarius – This weekend you will make a new friend who has the potential to be your longed-for soulmate. However, your wife will seduce him and both of them will laugh their butts off at you  while he drinks your beer in your bed.
• Pisces – Travel is in your future but be sure to pack a gas mask. The scenery surrounding the local landfill can be quite breathtaking at this time of year.

☎ Should ‘vaping’ (using e-cigarettes) be banned? Los Angeles City Council just voted to ban the use of electronic cigarettes in the city’s restaurants, bars, nightclubs, and public spaces. If the bill is signed into law, LA would follow NYC and Chicago in imposing similar rules.

Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them … so you will have the element of surprise.

Question: According to researchers, you should be using your pinky fingers more often when you do THIS.
Answer: Eat a hamburger. It minimizes spillage.

Hospitality: Making your guests feel like they’re at home … even if you wish they were.

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