BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Starting tonight Whoopi Goldberg, Cynthia Nixon, Martin Short, and George Takei are among actors participating in an experimental stage show at off-Broadway’s Westside Theatre with no rehearsal and no director. A rotating cast appears in “White Rabbit Red Rabbit”, during which the stars have to improvise as they are handed scripts for the first time as they step onstage. Producers guarantee each night brings its share of surprises. The play premiered at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2011 and has since been translated into 15 languages and performed worldwide.
– WENN.com
★ Scientists believe they’ve uncovered hit-‘n-run artist Banksy’s real identity. Using ‘geographic profiling’ researchers at Queen Mary University of London claim to have solved the art world’s biggest mystery. After using a technique often used to catch serial criminals, they believe that the mono-named underground graffiti artist is none other than Robin Gunningham. The geographic profiling identified obvious patterns between artworks credited to Banksy and the movements of Gunningham around London and Bristol, England. Gunningham has long been rumored to be the man behind the artwork but there’s been no proof …. until now.
– ContactMusic.com
★ Model Kendall Jenner has apparently thrown a punch at a paparazzo in Paris. Kim Kardashian’s younger sister was leaving L’Arc nightclub with her close pal and fellow runway regular Gigi Hadid when one of the photographers got a little too close for comfort, allegedly prompting Kendall to use all her 130 lbs to hurl a roundhouse in his direction. Images of the incident show the 20-year-old, rocking her new platinum blonde hair color, hitting out at the cameraman but it’s not clear if she made any contact. One of her bodyguards quickly intervened.
– “The Sun”
★ And Easter’s just around-the-corner and for some it seems a good old fashioned chocolate egg just won’t cut it. Enter the ‘Cumberbunny’, an edible chocolate rabbit with the face of TV/movie star Benedict Cumberbatch (“Sherlock”/”The Imitation Game”). A creation of Brit chocolate-maker Chocolatician, ‘Cumberbunnies’ come in 3 flavors – milk, white, and dark chocolate – and are priced starting at £50 (circa $75). While all are stylishly dressed in a bow tie, the white chocolate edition is extra special as, in a nod to the Oscars, he is 22-carat gold and still edible.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/jkvvdl6
– HuffingtonPost.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Snoop Dogg (“Bush”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Pete Yorn (“Arranging Time”, out Friday).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – John Legend (“Love In the Future”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Elle King (“Love Stuff”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Thomas Rhett (“Tangled Up”). Rerun.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Hopeful vocalists perform as blind auditions begin.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Joey + Rory – Joey Feek, diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago, died at home in Alexandria IN at age 40 on Friday, their manager confirms. She first found success when she paired up with her songwriter-husband on the CMT singing competition “Can You Duet?” in 2008.
• Lady Gaga – After earning a Golden Globe Award for her performance as ‘The Countess’ on “American Horror Story: Hotel”, she’s returning to the upcoming 6th season of the series, though no details of her new role have been released.
• One Direction – Could Liam Payne be joining Simon Cowell’s “The X Factor” alongside rumored girlfriend Cheryl Cole (ex-Fernandez-Versini)? Payne is hotly tipped to be added to next season’s judging panel as the show attempts a massive shake-up to combat falling ratings.
• Pink Floyd – An opera version of their classic album “The Wall” is scheduled to premiere in Montréal PQ as part of the city’s 375th birthday celebrations in 2017. Opera de Montréal will stage the ambitious production at the city’s Place Des Arts.
• Rihanna – She’s teamed with Manolo Blahnik on the new Denim Desserts shoe collection. The 6-style limited-edition collection hits selected stores May 5th. Forget thigh-highs, the new line includes a boot that’s waist-high. Whoever thought hip-waders would be fashionable?
NET: http://tinyurl.com/zuj7t24

HOW YOUR FINGERS GOT THEIR NAMES:
The origins of body-part names can be tough to pin down because of the way language evolves, but here’s what we know about why we refer to our digits the way we do …
• Thumb – The term was first used before the 12th century and is believed to have come from the Proto-Indo-European term ‘tum’, meaning ‘to swell’, making the thumb ‘the swollen one’.
• Index Finger – The word ‘index’ comes from the Latin ‘indicō’, which means ‘to point out’, which is also where the term ‘pointer’ comes into play.
• Middle Finger – Less commonly referred to as the ‘long’ or ‘tall finger’, the digitus medius manus obviously gets its name as it sits in the center of the hand.
• Ring Finger – Dates back to 2nd century when ancient Egyptians believed there was a vein in the 4th finger, known as the lover’s vein, that was connected to the heart. To signify that a man had a hold of a woman’s heart, he would put a ring on it, a practice that lives on today.
• Pinky – The term was first used by Scots to refer to something small, according to an 1808 Dictionary of the Scottish Language.
– Adapted from WorldWideWords.org

CHOCOLATE RENOVATIONS:
Many of the color names that make up Pantone’s color catalogue sound good enough to eat. Now you can do just that with BLOCD’s new Pantone-inspired chocolate box. The sampler spreads open like a book of paint swatches, revealing a spectrum of different chocolate shades, ranging from white to dark. The lightest rectangle of chocolate is labeled ‘Snow White’, and the chocolates progress through colors like ‘Sandy Beige’ to reach darker chocolate blends. The company originally made the boxes as gifts for customers and friends. BLOCD is a design & communication studio established in Barcelona in 1990; it specializes in corporate identity, art direction, editorial, and web. (Wonder what ‘Ugly Living Room’ tastes like?)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/zomxt97
– TrendHunter.com

BS AMAZING LIFE HACKS:
✓ Use 99-cent solar yard lights to light up your stairs indoors overnight.
✓ If you’re tired of ads popping up while playing a game on your smartphone, just put it in ‘airplane mode’ and they will magically disappear.
✓ When traveling, keep a bar of scented soap in the same compartment as your dirty clothes. It helps keep bad odors under control.
✓ Next time you iron a button-down shirt remember to flip it inside-out so you can easily iron over the button side.
✓ Mount towel racks on the inside of the cabinets and store all your lids there. It will help you save precious space in your tiny kitchen.
✓ To avoid crying over onions, peel and chop the ends off. Soak in cold water for 30 seconds. You’ll dice without tears.
✓ If you’re a heavy sleeper and usually snore past your alarm, put your smartphone in a cup or glass. The noise might wake up the whole building!
✓ Add a teaspoon of baking soda when boiling eggs and the shells will easily come right off afterward.
– List25.com

SCARIEST DAY OF THE WEEK: 
The stress of returning to work on Monday morning can trigger a dangerous increase in blood pressure, according to a study from Tokyo Women’s Medical University. This may explain why there are more deaths from heart attacks and strokes on Monday morning than at any other time of the week. In fact, there are 20% more heart attacks on Mondays than on any other day. Here’s the good news: An early morning peak in blood pressure is probably a normal part of the body’s 24-hour rhythm and is not likely to be a problem for healthy people. (However, just to be safe … maybe you better call in sick this morning?)
– BBC News

DID YOU KNOW?
• The English dictionary from 1932-40 included a misprinted word which had no definition, ‘Dord’. ‘Dord’ became known as a ‘ghost word’. (What does it sound like it means? Use it in a sentence.)
– Wikipedia.org
• Donald Trump’s ancestor changed the family name to ‘Trump’ from ‘Drumpf’. (‘Splains a lot.)
– “Rolling Stone”
• Ordinary Canadians privately sponsor nearly half of refugees entering the country. (About 26,000 Syrians have entered since November.)
– “The Economist”

BS CHRONOMETER 03.07.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [60] Bryan Cranston, Canoga Park CA, movie actor (“Trumbo”, “Kung Fu Panda 3”)/TV actor (4 Emmy Awards-“Breaking Bad” 2008-13, “Malcolm In the Middle” 2000-06)

1964 [52] Wanda Sykes. Portsmouth VA, comedian/movie actress (“Ice Age: Continental Drift”, “Rio”)/TV actress (“Blackish” since 2015)

1971 [45] Rachel Weisz, London UK, movie actress (“The Bourne Legacy”, Oscar-“The Constant Gardener”)

1971 [45] Peter Sarsgaard, Belleville IL, movie actor (“Black Mass”, “Blue Jasmine”)  COMING UP: “The Magnificent Seven”, opening September 23rd.

1974 [42] Jenna Fischer, Fort Wayne IN, TV actress (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actress (“Hall Pass”)

1975 [41] TJ Thyne, Boston MA, TV actor (‘Dr Jack Hodgins’ on “Bones” since 2005)

1980 [36] Laura Prepon, Watchung NJ, TV actress (‘Alex Vause’ on “Orange Is the New Black” since 2013, “That ’70s Show” 1998-2006)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Be Heard Day”, a time for entrepreneurs, small business owners, and solo professionals to find their voice, tell their story, and be heard.

• “Cereal Day”, a day to share in the delights of crunchy ‘n crispy breakfast cereals. Celebrated on the anniversary of the world’s first corn flakes being served to Dr John Kellogg’s sanatarium patients in Battle Creek, Michigan (1897).
NET: http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-guide.html

• “Fun Facts About Names Day”, when you’re encouraged to look up interesting tidbits about names as part of “International Celebrate Your Name Week”. For instance, U2 s original band name was ‘Feedback’.
NET: http://www.namesuniverse.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2010 [06] Kathryn Bigelow becomes first-ever female director to win an Oscar, for “The Hurt Locker”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2001 [15] National Endowment For the Arts and the RIAA announce the ‘Top Songs Of the 20th Century’. Here are the first 5 …
5. Don McLean’s “American Pie”.
4. Aretha Franklin’s “Respect”.
3. Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land”.
2. Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas”.
1: Judy Garland’s rendition of “Over The Rainbow.”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2007 [09] British House of Commons votes to make the upper chamber, the House of Lords, 100% elected instead of appointed

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2011 [05] Most expensive painting auctioned-to-date, “Nude, Green Leaves and Bust” by Pablo Picasso ($106.5 million), goes on display in London’s Tate Gallery

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] “Of Kings & Prophets” series premiere (ABC)
[Tues] “Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD” season debut (ABC)
[Tues] International Women’s Day
[Tues] Proofreading Day
[Tues] Unique Names Day
[Wed] Get Over It Day
[Wed] Registered Dietitian Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Celebrate Your Name Week / Consumer Protection Week / Dental Assistants Recognition Week / Girl Scout Week / Procrastination Week / Professional Pet Sitters Week / Read an eBook Week / Return the Borrowed Books Week / Save Your Vision Week / School Breakfast Week / School Social Work Week / Sleep Awareness Week / Women in Construction Week / Words Matter Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
CEREAL KILLER:
We’ll name a cereal and you try to name its advertising mascot …
• Trix [The Trix Rabbit]
• Lucky Charms [LC Leprechaun]
• Rice Krispies [Snap! Crackle! and Pop!]
• Frosted Flakes [Tony the Tiger]
• Kellogg’s Corn Flakes [a rooster named Cornelius]
• Froot Loops [Toucan Sam]
• Sugar Crisp [Sugar Bear]
• Cap’n Crunch [well duh … Cap’n Crunch]
• Nabisco Cream of Wheat [a chef named Rastus]
– First published in “BS” 2005.

WHY CATS ARE BETTER THAN DOGS:
• Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they’re horny.
• Cats always land on their feet. Dogs just won’t let you throw them.
• Cats will wait until you’ve read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.
• Fewer cat owners suffer from ‘Flappy Tail’ lacerations.
• No one has ever had to ‘Beware Of the Cat’.
• Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others’.
• Uh, why do you think they call it ‘Dog Breath’?
– First published in “BS” 2002.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the grossest food you have ever put in your mouth?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
A single strand of spaghetti is called what?
a. A spaghetto. [CORRECT. Betcha can’t eat just one.]
b. A  semolina.
c. A single strand.
– Wictionary.org

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Some people say that I’m superficial … but that’s just on the surface.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 1-in-4 of us have used a sick day to do THIS.
Answer: Take care of a pet.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Most people have an above-average number of legs. (Because some people are missing one or both legs, the average number is slightly below 2.)

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Gaddafi Lansah @ 97.3 Citi FM Accra, Ghana; Kim Buchanan @ “The Morning Blend” WTMJ-TV Milwaukee WI; Josh MacLean @  88.9 The Platypus [CCKC] Nova Scotia Community College, Halifax NS; and Corie Odden @ Majic 99.9 [WLXN] Lexington NC.