Thursday, March 28, 2019 – Edition: #6424

100% Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Keanu Reeves made some new friends after his flight was forced to make an emergency landing in Bakersfield on the weekend. In video footage captured by his fellow passengers, Reeves is seen taking initiative to help revise travel plans, eventually boarding a van with the other passengers, because at that point, driving to Los Angeles was faster than flying. During the ride, Reeves humorously read fun facts about Bakersfield to his fellow passengers, before using his phone and YouTube to play them a selection of 1950s country music that was native to the city.
-MSN
★ Wendy Williams’ health has taken a downward turn. One week after revealing to fans that she had been staying in a sober living house, the host of the “Wendy Williams Show” has reportedly been hospitalized.  Sources say that she was found drunk after checking herself out of the sober living house on Monday and was taken to hospital to sober up. Williams was given a banana bag, which is a bag of IV fluids used as a treatment for vitamin and electrolyte deficiencies in patients with chronic alcohol use.
-People
★ Nicolas Cage is getting married soon…we think.  He has been approved for a marriage license in Las Vegas. Court records show that he got the license on March 23, and he listed his girlfriend Erika Koike as the bride-to-be. Cage and Las Vegas have been synonymous for a while now. Not only does he live there, he has also made several Vegas-based films. In one of those films, he was married in Sin City. Cage was previously married to Alice Kim, Lisa Marie Presley and Patricia Arquette.
-MSN
★ The Oscar-winning Queen biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody” was released in China with all references to Freddie Mercury’s homosexuality and AIDS diagnosis censored. Any mention of the word ”gay” was cut from the picture as well as a scene in which Mercury and the rest of the band appear in drag while shooting the music video for ‘I Want to Break Free’. While homosexuality is not illegal in China, the Chinese state has banned depictions of what is considered ”abnormal sexual behaviour” in film and television.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Colin Farrell, Marsai Martin, Billie Eilish
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Mark Ruffalo, Jim Jefferies, Normani featuring 6lack (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Regina King, Bill & Melinda Gates, Jena Friedman (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Natasha Lyonne, Donny Deutsch, Drew Tarver, Helene Yorke, Jeff Friedl (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Regina Hall, Eugene Levy, Charlie Day (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Timothy Olyphant (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): John McEnroe
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Lupita Nyong’o
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Bear Grylls, Anna Chlumsky, Dido, guest co-host Katie Lowes
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard (R)
• “Abby’s” (NBC): Premiere: Abby’s unlicensed backyard bar hits a major snag when new landlord Bill, who recently inherited the house from his deceased aunt, shows up and proposes major changes.
• “MLB Baseball” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Major League Baseball’s earliest regular-season openers ever (excluding international openers), with all 30 teams playing. (Note: Seattle and Oakland were featured in an international opener at Japan’s Tokyo Dome March 20-21)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Halsey – says fans can expect her new album, expected to be out this year, to be a lot heavier than 2017’s “Hopeless Fountain Kingdom”. The ‘Without Me’ singer – who recently released ’11 Minutes’ with Yungblud and Blink-182‘s Travis Barker – says that the writing process has been “a lesson in forgiving myself”.
• Panic! at the Disco – Their song ‘High Hopes’ has topped Billboard’s adult pop songs radio airplay chart for a 15th straight week.  That makes it the longest-lasting No. 1 this decade, surpassing Maroon 5’s ‘Girls Like You’ (featuring Cardi B), which stayed at the top for 14 weeks.
• Mariah Carey – told concert fans in New York that she is writing her life story. After singing ‘Fantasy’, she asked the audience if they knew she’d once attended beauty school. She then said: ”Well, my book’s coming out, you can read all about it!”
• Coldplay — Chris Martin has had to get protection against a stalker who believes she is in a relationship with him. The woman has shown up to his house several times, placed a package inside his gate and won’t stay away despite police warnings. Martin has also requested protection for his children and his girlfriend Dakota Johnson.
• Alanis Morissette — is pregnant with baby no. 3 at age 44. She shared the news on Instagram, alongside the caption: “so much NEWness.” In the picture, she sports a pair of headphones as she sings, leading some to believe that she is also teasing new music.
• Joan Jett – will be a special guest performer at WWE’s annual WrestleMania event April 7 in New Jersey. It will feature the first-ever “women’s triple threat” title match between defending WWE Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey and challengers Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair.
• Roy Orbison and Buddy Holly — will tour together as holograms. They’ll be accompanied by a live band and back-up singers in “The Rock ‘N’ Roll Dream Tour”, which will hit Europe and North America, starting Oct. 7 in Dublin.
• Maddie & Tae – Taylor Dye says fans will hear “a deeper, more mature, in-depth version” of Maddie and Tae on their upcoming E-P, “One Heart to Another.” It comes out April 26th.
• Brantley Gilbert — and his wife Amber are expecting their second child, a baby girl.  They recently hosted a gender reveal party, during which they pulled open a large box filled with pink balloons and confetti. Gilbert and Amber welcomed their first child, a son named Barrett, in 2017, after struggling to conceive for a couple of years.

BEDTIME STORY:
Everyone knows that it is a good idea for parents to read to their children. But it turns out that the kiddies get more out of it when the parent reads a book — rather than off an electronic tablet.  Researchers at the University of Michigan studied 37 sets of parents and their toddlers between the ages of two and three.  Participants were analyzed while reading stories, either from a tablet with visual and sound effects, from a tablet without visual and sound effects, or from a traditional book.  What they found was that parents made the greatest number of statements to engage their toddlers when they read from the printed page.  They also tended to read more of the story if it was on the printed page.
(The only thing my parents ever read to me was a letter from the teacher!)
(Did the parents also skip pages like mine did?)
(But were the kids playing with their phones while Mom was reading?)
-ABC

DRIVE-THRU SPEAKING:
Your car might seem like your own private world where you can burp, yell at your family or complain about the service at the drive-thru window, but it turns out if you are actually in the drive-thru, the people inside with the headset on can hear you. Even if they haven’t spoken yet, according to a recent Reddit thread. Redditor “u/wreckinitralph” posted this warning: “When you’re sitting at a drive-thru speaker, we can always hear everything – even if you think your interaction is over…As soon as you drive up to the speaker, we get a beep over our headsets and the transmission begins. If we don’t answer you right away – we can hear everything. If we apologize and say we’ll be with you in a minute – you’re not on hold, we can hear everything. If you’ve ordered but the drive-thru line won’t let you pull ahead yet – we can hear every single thing you’re saying. I wish I could forget some of the stuff I’ve heard.”
(That would explain a lot about some of the “mistakes” they’ve made in my orders over the years!)
(If that were true, I’m fairly sure I would have had the police called on me several times by now!)
(Does the same apply to border agents?  Asking for a friend.)
-Lifehacker

SIGNS YOU’RE PROBABLY SMARTER THAN AVERAGE:
➢ You’re the oldest sibling:  Norwegian researchers found that oldest children had an average IQ of 103. Second-born kids had an average IQ of 100, while the babies of the family had an average IQ of 99. (But the youngest is always the trickiest!)
➢ You’re a lefty:  Left-handed people have been found to be more creative than right-handed people.  (Of course.  YOU try to use a can opener with your wrong hand!)
➢ You’re a night-owl:  If so, chances are that your analytical and conceptual thinking skills are above average. You may also be more social, extroverted, and creative.  (Not much of a tan, though…)
➢ You have a cat:  In a study, school children who owned cats were found to have higher intelligence scores than dog owners. (But were they smarter than their cats?)
➢ You’re anxious:  Researchers found that found that those with a tendency to worry a lot and think repetitively about a problem had a more developed verbal intelligence than the other participants.
➢ You took music lessons as a child:  A study showed that nine-year-old children who had taken piano or singing lessons increased their IQs in just nine months. (I did NOT take any music lessons, and now that’s obvious in TWO ways!)
➢ You have blue eyes:  Those with blue eyes are more likely to excel in science, while someone with darker eyes will generally fare better at sports.
➢ You’re tall:  Boys and girls who were taller than average had the best IQ results in a study. (Maybe that’s because they were older!)
➢ You don’t smoke:  Smokers have been found to have a slightly lower IQ than non-smokers.  Heavy smokers?  Even lower.  (Well, duh!..cough, cough, cough!!)
(One more sign that you’re smart:  You don’t need to hear it from a stupid radio host!)
-MSN

BS CHRONOMETER 03.28.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [64] Reba McEntire, McAlester OK, country singer (‘Turn on the Radio’, w/Linda Davis-‘Does He Love You’)/TV actress (“Malibu Country” 2012; “Reba” 2001-07)/movie actress (“Tremors”)

1969 [50] Rodney Atkins, Knoxville TN, country singer (‘Take a Back Road’, ‘These Are My People’)

1970 [49] Vince Vaughn, Minneapolis MN, movie actor (“Wedding Crashers”, “Old School”)

1975 [44] Kate Gosselin, Philadelphia PA, reality star (“Jon and Kate Plus 8”)

1976 [43] Dave Keuning, Pella IA, rock guitarist (The Killers-‘When You Were Young’, ‘Mr. Brightside’)

1981 [38] Julia Stiles, NYC, movie actress (“The Bourne Ultimatum”, “Save the Last Dance”) COMING UP…”Hustlers”, 2020

1986 [33] Lady Gaga (Stefani Germanotta), NYC, pop singer (‘Born This Way’, ‘Bad Romance’)/movie actress (“A Star is Born”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Children’s Picture Book Day”. And the best one of all-time is? “Hop on Pop”, of course.

• “Hot Tub Day”, time to soak yourself in a steaming hot tub and bust the stress. Human
stew!

• “Something on a Stick Day”, celebrating corn dogs, shish kebabs, Popsicles, ice cream bars, and any of the estimated 3 dozen other foods regularly served on a stick.

• “Weed Appreciation Day”, which is not what you’re thinking. It’s a salute to plants that grow wild which, though classified as weeds, have a beauty all their own. Think of them as wildflowers and see if that helps.

• “Black Forest Cake Day”, the cake is named not directly after the Black Forest in southwestern Germany but rather from the specialty liquor of that region, known as Schwarzwälder Kirsch(wasser) and distilled from tart cherries.

• “Eat an Eskimo Pie Day”, The inspiration for the invention of Eskimo Pie was a boy’s indecision in Nelson’s confectionery store in 1920. A boy started to buy ice cream, then changed his mind and bought a chocolate bar. Nelson inquired as to why he did not buy both. The boy replied, “Sure I know-I want ’em both, but I only got a nickel.” Nelson worked around the clock experimenting with different methods of sticking melted chocolate to frozen ice cream until he found cocoa butter to be the perfect adherent.

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Knights of Columbus Founders Day
[Fri] Lemon Chiffon Cake Day
[Sat] Brothers’ and Sisters’ Day
[Sat] Pencil Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1995 [24] Oddball singer Lyle Lovett and actress Julia Roberts announce they are separating after 21 months of marriage (right after she gets her new prescription for contacts)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2013 [06] Customs officials at Germany’s Munich Airport detain and quarantine Justin Bieber’s pet capuchin monkey, OG Mally, due to a lack of documentation (the Biebs abandons the critter there; it’s later sent to the Serengeti-Park animal refuge in Hodenhagen)

2014 [05] Tickets for Brit singer Kate Bush’s first live shows in 35 years sell out in less than 15 minutes (“Before the Dawn” concerts mark her first stage shows since 1979)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [20] Venus Williams beats kid sister Serena to win the Lipton Championship, the 1st all-sister women’s tennis final in 115 years

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2014 [05] 3rd baseman Miguel Cabrera signs a 10-year contract with the Detroit Tigers for $292 million, exceeding the 10-year contract signed by Alex Rodriguez of the NY Yankees in 2007 for $275 million (Current record holder: Mike Trout – 12 years, $430 million)

2017 [02] World’s largest dinosaur footprint (1.7 metres) is found in Kimberley, Western Australia

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Contrary to popular belief, there are no wild tigers in Africa. They are only found in Asia.
✓ Sri Lanka has a Ministry of Coconut Development.
✓ Beer was illegal in Iceland until March 1, 1989.
✓ Beer was not considered an alcoholic beverage in Russia until 2013.
✓ Australia has over 10,000 beaches. You could visit a new beach every day for over 27 years.
✓ Sweden had a Charles VII, but no Charles I to VI.
-FactSlides

BS SIGNS YOU’VE SCREWED UP:
• You wake up wearing clothes that aren’t yours.
• You receive a text back that says “Fine”.
• Your last four status updates have been from prison.
• You receive an invitation to a “mandatory” meeting with HR.
• Your priest tells you to gargle holy water.
• Strangely, there is a horde of reporters gathered outside your office.
• Your lawyers have lawyers.
• You ask where your pillow is, and she points toward the couch.
• You recognize your house on ‘COPS Live’. Then the doorbell rings.
• You got caught.
-Twitter

Best Of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH BASKETBALL:
• You now answer the phone, “Hellohio State?”
• You asked your girlfriend to marry you using a dry-erase board.
• You’ve started injecting nacho cheese intravenously.
• You’ve worn out 3 La-Z-Boys in 2 weeks.
• You can explain the term “pick and roll” without once making reference to your finger or your nose.
• You’ve installed a 35-second shot clock in the bedroom.
• At dinner last night, you made guests tip-off for every pork chop.
• Your wife now refers to your fat ass as the ‘Big South’.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2012

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you don’t succeed at first, try pitching.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What slang term these days do you find most annoying? (A recent survey found these the top 3 most annoying: ‘GOAT’, ‘Bae’, and ‘Hangry’.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  Almost 6 in 10 people cannot remember THIS…
Answer:  Their first kiss.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.