March 11 2019

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Monday, March 11, 2019        Edition: #6410

Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ It’s finally happened!  Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are engaged after two years of dating.  The couple announced the news on Instagram Saturday with a photo of ARod holding JLo’s hand with a sizeable emerald cut diamond on her left ring finger.  There aren’t any wedding details yet, but you can bet that the couple’s kids will be involved. Rodriguez has two daughters, Ella and Natasha, and Lopez has twins Max and Emme from her marriage to ex-husband Marc Anthony. It will be her fourth marriage, Rodriquez’s second.
-YahooSports
★ Whoopi Goldberg has addressed her one-month absence from “The View”. In a pre-taped video message on Friday, Goldberg said: “I had pneumonia and I was septic. And yes, I came very, very close to leaving the Earth. Good news, I didn’t. Thank you for all of your good wishes…And ladies, I cannot wait to see y’all…I’ll tell you about it when we’re all at the table. See you soon.”  A source says that her return date is unclear and that staff have not been notified about when she will come back.
-MSN
★ Alfonso Ribeiro has officially dropped his lawsuit against the makers of the “Fortnite” video game. In February, the United States Copyright Office refused his application to register the copyright for his “Carlton” dance, which he claims to have created specifically for his role on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”. He was informed that although one can copyright an act, it has to be more than just a movement of the hips and arms from the left to the right. It must be an extended choreographed movement.
-CelebrityInsider
★ Jussie Smollett ”maintains his innocence” after being indicted with 16 counts of filing a false police report. The “Empire” star was accused of the felony crime after he claimed to be the victim of a homophobic and racist hate attack on January 29, and was indicted with the charges on Friday, following allegations that the attack was a hoax.
-ContactMusic

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Danny DeVito, Freddie Highmore, AJR
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ricky Gervais, Karlie Kloss, Maren Morris
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Idris Elba, Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, Ellie Goulding
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV):  Jesse Eisenberg, Paula Pell, Dan + Shay, Allison Miller
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Rita Wilson, Kevin Nealon, Jason Mitchell, Ryan Conner
• “Conan” (TBS): Bert Kreischer
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kyle Cooke, Scheana Shay
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Olivia Newton-John
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jon Cryer, Christian Siriano
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Beth Behrs, Jon Dorenbos
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Season Finale Part 1. What happened to Colton after he fled upon learning that Cassie dropped out of the competition?
• “The Voice” (NBC): The Blind Auditions, Part 5
• “The Good Doctor” (ABC): Season 2 finale
• “Biography: John & Yoko: Above Us Only Sky” (A&E): The untold story of John Lennon’s album “Imagine”, released in 1971.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift — A man who recently served six months in prison for breaking into her New York City apartment has been arrested again for the same offence. Roger Alvarado reportedly climbed a ladder and smashed a glass door in order to enter the home. Swift was not home at the time. Alvarado is facing charges of stalking and burglary.
• Travis Scott – His ‘Sicko Mode’ has become the seventh song, and the first hip-hop song ever to spend 30 weeks in the top 10.
• Backstreet Boys — Brian Littrell shot down *NSYNC’s Joey Fatone after he suggested the possibility of the boybands merging to form a supergroup. Littrell told a reporter that it would be something he’d consider in “like, 30 years. If they can get Justin [Timberlake] back.”
• Alice Cooper – wishes current artists were more adventurous with their look, sound, and lyrics.  According to him, ”They want to look like everyone in the mall. They don’t want to scare anyone…Rock stars are meant to get out there and shake their butt. You should think: man, this is fun.”
• The Rolling Stones — have launched a line of “Happy Socks”.  They’ve joined forces with the Swedish sock and underwear company to create a limited-edition range of multicoloured socks inspired by the band’s legendary ‘lick’ logo. Happy Socks have also previously teamed up with The Beatles, Andy Warhol, Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa.
• Kurt Cobain — The hospital gown he wore during Nirvana’s 1992 Reading Festival performance is up for auction. Cobain — whose health was much-discussed in the media around the date of the concert — appeared onstage in a wheelchair wearing the gown and a wig.  It’s ecpected to sell for around $55,000.
• Keith Urban — gave away a guitar to an audience member at his London concert on Friday. He told the crowd that he had something to give away that was “used, maybe from just a couple of Sunday sessions, something slightly sweaty…” He then signed his guitar and brought a woman from the crowd up on stage to present it to her.
• Luke Combs – has joined Kane Brown as one of only two artists to own the number-one spots in all five of Billboard’s main country charts simultaneously. Combs rules Top Country Albums, Hot Country Songs, Country Airplay, Country Streaming Songs and Country Digital Song Sales this week. Brown first achieved the quintuple coronation in 2017.

SOUND SOLUTION:

A team of researchers at Boston University may have come up with the most sanity-inducing invention of the 21st century: a material which is able to completely swallow sound.  The prototype, which resembles a PVC tube, is lined with a “mathematically perfect acoustic metamaterial”, and is said to completely remove sound while allowing air to flow through it.  The metamaterial, made from paper and aluminum, has been shown to completely silence the boom from a loudspeaker.  The developers see a future where this material is used in each tile or brick in the construction of apartment buildings.
(Take that, guitar hero who lives upstairs!)
(Obviously they haven’t met MY neighbors!)
(Great, but I’m not sure I want to stick a PVC tube in my ear, no matter how loud my wife snores!)
-MNN

SMARTPHONE SMARTS:
For many of us, the only times we restart our smartphone are when the battery dies or when it freezes up and that’s the only way to get it to do anything.  But the question is: How often SHOULD you restart your phone?  Bob Motamedi, a Los Angeles tech consultant, says that for many reasons, you should shut it off, let it rest for a full minute, and fire it back up once per week.  And what are those “many reasons”?  Doing so helps retain memory in your phone.  It also prevents crashes, keeps it running smoothly, and helps to prolong battery life.
(And exactly what am I supposed to do for a whole minute without my phone?)
(Once per week?  Called it!)
(I would, but I have no idea what the passcode is…)
-MSN

RULES FOR MARITAL SUCCESS:
Blogger and husband/father Ryan Stephens and wife Alaina have gone viral with their list of tips for marital success which they wrote as a resource for their son…
➢ No one should ever hear anything bad about your spouse from you. (As my wife says, they already know everything bad about me anyway…)
➢ Over-communicate. You cannot read each other’s minds. Never assume the other person knows what you meant. And give the benefit of the doubt when miscommunications happen.
➢ Try new things together. Even if one of you is typically more adventurous than the other, have fun with it.
➢ Be each other’s champion. Celebrate wins and encourage each other. Never cut the other person down when they’re struggling. (There go half of our household conversations…)
➢ Be grateful for each other’s contributions.  Whether it be money, time, chores, childcare, or anything else, no one contribution is greater than another. Don’t keep score. (Said the guy who doesn’t pull his weight around the house…)
➢ Trust and respect each other. Especially in front of others, including your children. If you do not respect your spouse, why should anyone else? (And once respect is gone, it’s difficult to buy it back…)
-BestLifeOnline

THE BENEFITS OF NAPPING:
Today is “Napping Day”, when we should all tune out for a while in order to properly adjust to Daylight Saving Time. And in case you aren’t convinced yet, here are the benefits . . .
☞ Improved memory: Sleep allows our brains to comprehend all the things that we have learned, thus improving memory.  (Why wait until tonight?  Might as well get a jump on remembering all that stuff while it’s still fresh…)
☞ Lowers blood pressure:  A typical midday nap can lower blood pressure by an average of 5 mm Hg. That is about equivalent to the drop you would see by undertaking lifestyle changes such as salt and alcohol reduction.  (Bonus: If I’m sleeping, I’m not eating salty snacks…usually…)
☞ Restores alertness:  Studies of NASA pilots and astronauts found that a 40-minute nap improved performance by 34 percent and alertness by 100 percent. (I’m not sure I want to be THAT alert when I’m still at work…)
☞ Helps process subconscious thoughts:  After a study, researchers concluded that naps can help people process information subconsciously, which could lead to more goal-oriented behavior. (That’s an answer I could have given them in my sleep…)
☞ Improves your mood:  A well-timed midday nap can do wonders for improving your mood. (If you’ve ever had a 2-year-old, you know that…and it improved the kid’s mood too!)
-MNN

DID YOU KNOW?
Researchers found that office workers spend an average of 1,700 hours each year staring at a computer screen.  That’s almost 71 full days.
-BroBible


BS CHRONOMETER 03.11.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [88] Rupert Murdoch, Melbourne, Australia, media magnate (FOX-TV, News Corp)/estimated net worth $19.9 billion (2019)/married to former model Jerry Hall

1969 [50] Terrence Howard, Chicago IL, TV actor (‘Lucious Lyon’ on “Empire” since 2015)/movie actor (“The Butler”, “Iron Man”)

1971 [48] Johnny Knoxville (Phillip Clapp), Knoxville TN, movie actor (“Jackass” movies)/TV personality (“Jackass” 2000-02)

1979 [40] Benji & Joel Madden, Waldorf MD, twin brother pop-rock musicians (The Madden Bros-‘We Are Done’, Good Charlotte-‘Lifestyles Of the Rich & Famous’)

1983 [36] Melissa Rycroft, Dallas TX, reality TV personality (“Redneck Island” 2016, “Dancing With the Stars” 2015, “The Bachelor” 2009, “Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team” 2006-08)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• Worship of Tools Day” (aka “Tool Appreciation Day”), celebrating men’s inexplicable fascination with high-priced gizmos. (What tool have you bought, then never used?)

• “Commonwealth Day”, observed on the 2nd Monday in March to honor the loose association of 53 countries in the British Commonwealth (the one-time British Empire). It now entails some 2.4 billion people or about 30% of the world’s population.

• “Fill Our Staplers Day”, because every little insignificant function we perform in day-to-day life needs its own day, right?

• “Napping Day”, a chance to catch up on the hour of sleep we lost yesterday due to the switch to Daylight Saving Time.

• “World Plumbing Day”, initiated by the World Plumbing Council to celebrate the important role plumbing plays in the health & safety of modern society. (To celebrate, wear your pants at half-mast … just like a plumber.)
NET: http://www.worldplumbingday.org

• “Canberra Day”, celebrated on the 2nd Monday in March in the Australian Capital Territory.

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Girl Scout Day
[Tues] National Alfred Hitchcock Day
[Wed] Donald Duck Day
[Wed] Earmuff Day
This Week Is…National Agriculture Week
This Month Is…National Women’s History Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997 [22] The ashes of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, along with those of Timothy Leary and 22 other people, are launched into space orbit aboard a Pegasus XL rocket

2018 [01] “American Idol”, which ran for 15 seasons on Fox, returns on ABC two years later with new judges Katy Perry, Lionel Richie and Luke Bryan

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1997 [22] Thirty years after being admitted as a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE), Paul McCartney is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II for his services to popular music

2015 [04] Jurors in Los Angeles decide the 2013 hit, ‘Blurred Lines’ by Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams copies elements of the 1977 Marvin Gaye track ‘Got to Give It Up’ and award Gaye’s heirs $7.3 million in damages

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2002 [17] England’s Plymouth University becomes the 1st school to offer a degree in ‘Surfing’

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2011 [08] A massive earthquake measuring 9.0 in magnitude strikes Japan, triggering a tsunami killing thousands and the 2nd-largest nuclear accident in history

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The blue whale can produce the loudest sound of any animal. At 188 decibels, the noise can be detected over 800 km (500 mi) away.
✓ African elephants have the best sense of smell in the animal kingdom.
✓ All toads are frogs, but not all frogs are toads. Toads are a subset of frogs.
✓ Animals avoid power lines because they see frightening ultraviolet flashes that are invisible to humans.
✓ 70% of all animals in the jungle rely on figs for their survival.
✓ The scientific name of the llama is “lama glama.”
-FactSlides

BS OTHER USES FOR THE FORCE:
• Finding the remote control
• Folding a fitted sheet
• Correcting the spelling and grammar of people’s Facebook posts
• Eating Cheetos without getting that orange stuff on your hands
• In the right order making Yoda say things
• Keeping the skeletons in my closet
• Getting things off the top shelf
• “Forcing” someone to do my spring cleaning
• Making my wife watch Star Wars movies
• Atomic wedgies
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS SPRING IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER:
• Wife found trapped under pile of gardening catalogues.
• Newspaper boy stops aiming for snow drifts, begins targeting shrubs.
• First robin doo on your windshield.
• Annoying neighbors finally shut off Christmas lights.
• You drive with sunroof open, heater on full blast.
• You go to the driving range Saturday, shovel walks Sunday.
• Garbage collectors start going topless.
• Thousands of RVers massing on Florida peninsula for annual migration north.
• At H&R Block, you’re asked to ‘take a number please’.
• In Vancouver/Seattle, Winter rain gives way to … Spring rain.
– First published in “BS” in 2000

BS PHONE STARTER:

What did your dog do that made your heart melt?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Here I am once again, proving that fame is fleeting but mediocrity lasts forever.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• It’s estimated you can save up to $100-a-year on your water bill if you stop doing which?
a. Rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
b. Watering houseplants.
c. Singing in the shower. [CORRECT]
d. Filling the dog dish to the top.

• Which of the following is a commonly found pizza topping in Japan?
a. Cucumber
b. Mayonnaise [CORRECT]
c. Pickled ginger
d. Rice
-PubTimeTrivia

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  1 in 5 women feel guilty about THIS.  What is it?
Answer:  Not making the bed

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction.

 

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