Tuesday, March 19, 2019   Edition: #6416

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Felicity Huffman has quit social media after being constantly criticized by followers for her part in the college admissions scandal. Huffman and her husband William H. Macy, who remains unindicted, are accused of paying $15,000 to bump up their 18-year-old daughter Sofia’s test scores. Meanwhile, a U.S. mother has filed a $500 billion lawsuit against the people charged, claiming her child was “unfairly denied a place” at one of the affected universities.
(It seems obvious that no one in her family was going to university on a math scholarship…)
-Canoe
★ Beastie Boys Michael “Mike D” Diamond and Adam “Ad Rock” Horovitz are planning April events in New York and Philadelphia to be filmed by Spike Jonze. The pair revealed the plan at South by Southwest, explaining that the multimedia/speaking dates will be similar to the “Live & Direct” tour they did for their recent “Beastie Boys Book.” Diamond says that time, “We forgot to film”.  They’ll also celebrate the 25th anniversary of their album “Ill Communication.”
-PageSix
★ Despite the fact that Roseanne Barr called Jon Voight “a frightened little girl” and Voight responded by calling the disgraced comedian “sick of mind” and “evil” during a 2008 online spat — the pair are headlining a gala together. The unlikely duo is due to appear at Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s World Values Network’s seventh-annual Champions of Jewish Values International Awards Gala at Carnegie Hall on March 28.
-PageSix
★ J.K. Rowling is trending on Twitter, and it’s because of comments she made during an interview feature on the “Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald” Blu-ray. Her comments concern the nature of the relationship between Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald. After the conclusion of her “Harry Potter” book series, Rowling famously revealed that Dumbledore is gay. She later added that he “fell in love” with Grindelwald. In the new interview, she says, “it was a love relationship. But as happens in any relationship, gay or straight or whatever label we want to put on it, one never knows really what the other person is feeling.”
-MSN
★ Dick Dale, whose song ‘Misirlou’ played over the opening credits to Quentin Tarantino’s 1994 film “Pulp Fiction”, has passed away at 81. Dale was credited with pioneering a genre based on Californian surf culture and was known for his fast strumming style, inspiring acts like The Beach Boys and Jimi Hendrix.  He had a long history of ill health, including renal failure, diabetes and cancer.  His cause of death has not been revealed.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sen. Kamala Harris, Mark Hamill, Judah & the Lion
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kobe Bryant, Aidy Bryant, Natalie Morales, Fletcher, Mick Fleetwood
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Chris Hayes, Nico Parker
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jordan Peele, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Action Bronson
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ben Schwartz, Tim Roth, Leon Bridges
• “Conan” (TBS): Isla Fisher, Mark Normand
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Teddi Mellencamp, Maren Morris
• “The Talk” (CBS): David Boreanaz
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jimmy Fallon, John David Washington, Lana Condor, acrobats Virginia Tuells & Ihosvanys Perez
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Michael Keaton, Jay Shetty
• “Mental Samurai” (FOX): Rob Lowe hosts the “first-ever obstacle course for the mind” (which presumably remains inside the body for the duration of the competition).
• “The Village” (NBC): Premiere. A sentimental ensemble drama that follows the (sometimes interconnected) lives of a diverse group of residents of a Brooklyn apartment building.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – In addition to her voice role as ‘Nala’ in the upcoming computer-animated remake of Disney’s “The Lion King,” she is also working on a new album with a women’s rights theme. She has apparently already completed three songs which are “about women supporting women and lifting each other up.”
• Meek Mill — has teased a trailer for his upcoming “Free Meek” Amazon docuseries.  The six-part series, which he says “explores my life and the flaws in the criminal justice system that have haunted me and others like me,” will be released this summer on Prime Video.
• Michael Bublé – made a surprise appearance at Saturday’s Juno Awards Gala.  He showed up at the pre-telecast gala dinner and awards ceremony to honour his friend David Foster with the “Humanitarian of the Year” award. Bublé called the producer “a man whose heart is as big as the sun.”
• George Michael – His art collection, featuring pieces from the likes of Tracey Emin and Damien Hirst, has been sold at auction for $15 million.  The money raised will go toward causes he supported.
• Bryan Adams — cancelled his Sunday concert in New Zealand after Friday’s horrific shooting. He was scheduled to perform at Christchurch’s Hagley Park but confirmed the gig would not go ahead in a Twitter post, writing that the cancellation was “in solidarity with the victims of the mass murder”.
• Robbie Williams — has urged fans to slam his long-time rival Liam Gallagher on Twitter. Williams, whose fierce rivalry with the former Oasis singer dates back to the 90s – is currently appearing in Vegas, where he encouraged his fans to send any negative feedback of his performance to Liam. Speaking at the end of his set, he quipped: ”If you have enjoyed the show, I have been Robbie Williams. And if you haven’t and you are upset about anything, I have been Liam Gallagher.”
• Little Big Town – and Billy Currington will co-headline the second installment “Country Spirit USA”, a three-day country music festival August 23-25 near Philadelphia.  Also on the bill:  Brothers Osborne, Lee Brice and Lauren Alaina.
• Eric Church — paid tribute to NASCAR legend and fellow North Carolinian Dale Earnhardt during his concert in Greensboro, N.C., on Friday night. Before performing his hit ‘Talladega’, Church brought out a black-and-red flag featuring Earnhardt’s trademark No. 3 and his signature.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Big Kill” (R-Rated, Action/Western):  A tenderfoot from Philadelphia, two misfit gamblers on the run, and a deadly preacher have a date with destiny in a boom town gone bust called Big Kill. (Jason Patric, Lou Diamond Phillips)
• “Pokémon The Movie: The Power of Us” (Not Rated, Adventure):  Ash meets five residents who come together to save the day when a series of threats endanger the annual Wind Festival and the entire population of their home, Fula City. (Emily Bauer, Sam Black)
• “Book of Monsters” (Not Rated, Horror):  Sophie’s 18th birthday becomes a bloodbath when monsters descend upon her house and start to devour the party guests. Sophie and her friends must rally together to send their party crashers back to hell. (Lyndsey Craine, Michaela Longden)
• “The Quake” (PG-13, Action/Adventure):  A geologist races against time to save his estranged wife and two children when a devastating earthquake strikes Oslo, Norway. (Kristoffer Joner, Ane Dahl Torp)

DON’T ASK:
What is the most useless phrase in the English language? “How are you?”  That’s according to Harvard researchers, who say that what follows is a lost opportunity and a meaningless exchange with zero connection.  What they suggest instead is that you ask the other person meaningful questions.  Researchers analyzed more than 300 conversations and found that those who were asked more substantial questions found the other person much more likeable. They suggest that you begin with small talk, much as you would in a business meeting, then proceed to talking about the surroundings, then sharing some news that has happened with you lately.  And remember, it isn’t all about what you say, it’s also about how friendly you come across when saying it.
(And that explains why it takes 45 minutes to walk a half-block in my neighborhood…)
(Believe me, asking my Aunt Dottie “How are you?” is not a lost opportunity.  She’ll use that chance until it can’t be used anymore!)
(And I thought for sure the most useless phrase in the English language is “Can I have a raise?”)
-CNBC

WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR BANANA TIMING:
There is nothing worse (well, actually there are many things worse, but play along…) than when your bananas are too green (or too mushy) for consumption.  These tips should help…
➢ Mix Up Your Bag:  First, as a preventative measure, always buy a few yellow bananas that are ready to eat along with some green ones that still need time to ripen for later.
➢ Block Out Light: To preserve your bananas that are already ripe, place a kitchen towel over the ones that you don’t want to ripen any more. Protecting them from natural sunlight ups their shelf life by a few days.
➢ Keep Them Separate:  Be sure that the bananas are separated from other produce. When they come into contact with some fruits and veggies, both will ripen faster. (And you’ll have a bowl of mush stew!)
➢ Use Saran Wrap:  Placing it around the stem of the cluster of bananas helps keep them fresher longer. Some stores do this for you.
(And to further ensure that they last, pray that your teenager doesn’t go on a “banana kick” this week!)
-PopSugar

MYTHS PERPETUATED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING:
✗ The label “genuine leather” is meant to assure the buyers of the leather’s high quality:  “Genuine” is actually a leather classification used to designate the lowest-quality grade of leather. (One step ahead of beef-jerky!)
✗ VitaminWater is healthy and provides you with extra nutrients:  It is actually flavored sugar-water with 33 grams (128 calories) of sugar, the same as any soft drink, to which synthetic vitamins are added.
✗ You lose your warranty if you break the tamper seal or “warranty void if seal is broken” stickers:  Under the 1975 Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act, it is illegal to impose warranty conditions that forbid consumers from opening or repairing their devices. (So why didn’t they make it illegal to lie about it on a sticker?)
✗ Using split-end-repairing shampoo and conditioner helps:  Once split, that part of the hair is permanently damaged and cannot be repaired. Trimming the split ends is the only remedy.  (Band-aids don’t help either.  Don’t ask.)
✗ Espresso has more caffeine than an average-sized cup of coffee:  A shot of espresso has 120 to 170 milligrams of caffeine, while a cup of coffee has 150 to 200 milligrams of caffeine. (Ah, but FFFOUR SSSSHOTS OF ESSSPRESSSOO has WAY more caffeine than a cup of coffee!)
-Unbelievable-Facts

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 25% of adults say they indulge in a nap every day.
• 50% of us don’t wash our produce at home.
• 12% of adults say the first thing they do in the morning is to check on their pets.
• 40% of us don’t know our own blood type.
• 55% of adults only record an outgoing voicemail message when they get a new phone.
• 26% of parents send their kids to school with hand sanitizer in their backpacks.

DID YOU KNOW?
Because cat owners have been known to compare the smell of their cat’s head to that of sunshine or freshly baked bread, a Japanese company spent 4 months paying people to sniff cat’s heads in order to create a similar scent, which they now sell in spray bottles.

BS CHRONOMETER 03.19.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [83] Ursula Andress, Ostermundigen Switzerland, movie actress (“Dr. No”, “Casino Royale”)

1947 [72] Glenn Close, Greenwich CT, movie actress (“Guardians Of the Galaxy”, “Fatal Attraction”)/TV actress (“Damages” 2007-12)/Broadway actress (“Sunset Boulevard”)

(***Caution…Don’t say “Happy Birthday” to this guy***):
1952 [67] Harvey Weinstein, Flushing NY, disgraced film producer (“Silver Linings Playbook”, “Pulp Fiction”)/former studio executive (co-founder of Miramax and The Weinstein Company)

1955 [64] Bruce Willis, Idar-Oberstein, Germany, movie actor (“Pulp Fiction”, “Die Hard” movies) COMING UP…”Motherless Brooklyn”, 2019

1976 [43] Zach Lind, Mesa AZ, rock drummer (Jimmy Eat World- ‘The Middle’, ‘Pain’)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Last Full Day of Winter”, as “Spring” officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere tomorrow with the Vernal Equinox at 5:58 pm EDT.

• “Chocolate Caramel Day”, an annual celebration of everything great about chocolate and caramel. (Like cavities?)

• “Poultry Day”, celebrating chicken, turkey, and other farm-raised fowl that we commonly consume. Plus, they give us our breakfast eggs. (And if they had a say in it, we’d celebrate by eating pork!)

• “St Joseph’s Day”, the day that the swallows traditionally return to the Mission San Juan Capistrano in California, an excuse for the annual “Fiesta de las Golindrinas”. Every March 19th since 1776 (with few exceptions), the birds have come back to usher in Spring in the Southern California seaside town, and their return is now an annual tourist attraction.

• “Client’s Day”, a day created for the purpose of letting all of your clients know just how glad you are that they’ve chosen your company.

• “Let’s Laugh Day”, laughter decreases stress hormones and increases antibodies, boosting your immunity to all sorts of illness and diseases. Laughing also helps relax your muscles and helps you de-stress. Plus, it improves your blood pressure and decreases pain. And, laughing actually burns calories – how about that?

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] The First Day of Spring
[Wed] International Day of Happiness
[Thurs] Memory Day
[Thurs] Teenager Day

ON THIS DATE . . .
2003 [16] USA, along with coalition forces primarily from the UK, initiates ‘Operation Iraqi Freedom’, aka the War on Iraq

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1957 [62] Elvis Presley buys the ‘Graceland’ estate in Memphis, Tennessee for $100,000 (about the same amount it now rakes in … daily)

1988 [31] Michael Jackson begins construction on his 2,800-acre ranch in Santa Barbara, California which he names ‘Neverland’, after the fantasy location where children never grow up in “Peter Pan”

2001 [18] Aerosmith, Michael Jackson, Paul Simon, Queen, Ritchie Valens, Solomon Burke, Steely Dan and The Flamingos are inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1990 [29] 1st-ever ‘Women’s World Hockey Tournament’ (won by Canada in Ottawa ON)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ There are currently over 1 billion cars on earth.
✓ In Christopher Nolan’s film “Batman”, Bruce Wayne drives a Lamborghini Murcielago. “Murcielago” is Spanish for “bat.”
✓ As a reward for playing ‘James Bond’, Daniel Craig is entitled to take any Aston Martin from the factory for the rest of his life.
✓ The Hyundai Tucson offers a special “The Walking Dead” edition. It contains a zombie survival kit, in case of apocalypse.
✓ Lamborghini gave the Italian state the world’s fastest police car in 2008. It was crashed a year later.
✓ The last car with a cassette player was the Ford Crown Vic in 2011.
-FactRetriever

BS LESSER AVENGERS:
• Ironing Man
• The Adequate Spider-Man
• Biclops
• The Grey Widow
• Captain ‘Murica
• The Green Latrine
• Garbage Man
• Captain Marbles
• Angry-Note-on-Windshield Guy
• Hawkeye
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU’VE HAD A BAD ‘SPRING BREAK’:
• You studied a lot.
• You used an entire box of condoms and never slept with anyone.
• Next month you have to go back for ‘sentencing’.
• During the 27-hour car trip, your friends insisted on playing their entire collection of karaoke music.
• You first learned that jet skis have no brakes when you smashed into the pier.
• You stayed on campus to take advantage of short cafeteria lines.
• The clinic says your Spring Break ‘souvenir’ will only go away with penicillin.
• Three words — pasty white thighs.
• You can actually REMEMBER Spring Break.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I tried to buy a lighter on eBay, but all they had was 13,749 matches.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Soybeans are an important ingredient for which school supply?
a. markers
b. crayons [CORRECT]
c. erasers
d. earbuds

• About how many gallons of water do cows drink every day?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 5
d. 30 [CORRECT]
-FreekiGames

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most important thing that you have accidentally broken?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Although THIS annual activity likely dates back thousands of years, the 1st recorded mention of it wasn’t until 1857.
Answer: Spring Cleaning.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You can’t change the beginning, but can start where you are and change the ending.