Tuesday, May 10, 2005           Edition: #3030
Bull Soup For the Radio Personality’s Soul!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Pray for the Soul of Betty, the New York band Constantine Maroulis left to compete in “American Idol”, releases its first CD, recorded before the pouty guy deserted his peeps (it’s on Koch Records, the label that signed “Idol” washout William Hung) . . . Spike TV has ordered up a 2-hour TV movie based on “Blade”, the cult Marvel Comics vampire hunter and the subject of theatrical movies starring Wesley Snipes, which will serve as a pilot for a possible series . . . Movie magazine “Film Threat” has listed the ‘Most-Wanted Lost Movies’, which include the first Marx Brothers film (“Humor Risk”), an Orson Welles short (“Too Much Johnson”), the first-ever animated feature (Argentina’s “El Apostol”), an early Richard Pryor film (“Uncle Tom’s Fairy Tales”) and legendary actor James Dean’s audition for the musical “Oklahoma!” . . . Later THIS MONTH ABC-TV daytime drama “All My Children” will feature the 10th wedding of ‘Erica Kane’ (played by Susan Lucci since 1970), shot on location in Boca Raton FL . . . Actress Brooke Shields says she was terrified to be left alone with her daughter Rowan shortly after the 2003 birth – because she was certain the baby was far more intelligent than her (y’know, that’s understandable – keep talking) . . . “Kingdom of Heaven” star Orlando Bloom admits he never actually had the chance to finish learning how to act and would like a stint on stage to hone his skills (besides, that way women can throw underwear) . . . And Jessica Simpson tops “In Touch” magazine’s new list of Hollywood’s ‘Most Gifted; nothing to do with talent mind you, it just means she receives the most free gifts from companies hoping she’ll be photographed with them.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Backstreet Boys – THIS MORNING they’re doing “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• Britney Spears – She’s reportedly been rushed to hospital following another scare over her 4-month-old pregnancy. After extensive tests for the cause of stomach cramps, she’s been given the all-clear and ordered to do as little as possible. That should be easy enough.
• Clay Aiken – TODAY he’s on the “Oprah Winfrey Show”.
• Dave Matthews Band – THIS MORNING they’re on NBC-TV’s “Today Show”.
• Faith Hill – TODAY her first single in nearly 2 years, “Mississippi Girl”, becomes available free online as a ‘temporary download’ that expires and will not be playable after May 24th, the date it goes on sale. This ‘best before’ method has often been used to allow consumers to sample software, but this is the first we’ve heard of it being used for a music release.
• Fantasia Barrino – TODAY she appears on ABC-TV’s “The View”.
• Queen – An upcoming tribute album to the band will feature Queen guitarist Brian May and cover versions of their hits, including a Nickelback knock-off of “We Will Rock You”.
• Rod Stewart – The 60-year-old has been forced to at least temporarily postpone planned UK concerts and rest his voice due to a throat infection. With his voice, how could you tell?
• Rolling Stones – TODAY they’ll meet the press at NYC’s Juilliard School of Music to announce the concert stops and venues for their upcoming summer tour. Media invitations that were sent out stated simply, “The Rolling Stones, May 10, 12:30 pm, NYC.”
• Theory Of A Deadman – TONIGHT they do “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou” (Adventure Comedy – DVD): Bill Murray plays a washed-up oceanographer trying to get revenge on the shark that killed his partner. To help him on this quest, he rallies a crew that includes his estranged wife (Anjelica Huston), a pregnant journalist (Cate Blanchett), and a man who may or may not be his son (Owen Wilson).
• “Racing Stripes” (Family Adventure – DVD/VHS): An abandoned zebra (voice of Frankie Muniz) grows up believing he’s a racehorse. With the help of his barnyard friends and a teenage girl (Hayden Panettiere), he sets out to achieve his dream of racing with thoroughbreds. Other voices provided by Mandy Moore, Jeff Foxworthy, Snoop Dogg, David Spade, Dustin Hoffman & Whoopi Goldberg.
• “In Good Company” (Comedy – DVD/VHS): Dennis Quaid plays a middle-aged ad exec faced with a new boss who’s half his age (Topher Grace) and who also happens to be sleeping with his daughter (Scarlett Johansson). Co-stars “CSI’s” Marg Helgenberger as the mom.
• “Alone in the Dark” (Horror Thriller – DVD): Christian Slater plays a paranormal detective who’s investigating evil demons worshiped by an ancient culture. And get this – his ex-girlfriend, ‘a young genius with an incredible memory’, is played by – Tara Reid! Based on the video game.

UNBOOB JOBS UP:
Despite the media attention to breast augmentation and implants, a different trend is actually being seen by plastic surgeons – an increase in the number of women receiving breast reductions. It’s estimated that over 113,000 women will elect to have their breasts made smaller THIS YEAR, an increase of 11% from previous years. Why? Experts say the weight of pendulous breasts causes structural demands on the neck and back that can create chronic pain. Depression and self-consciousness to the point of lowered self-esteem are also common complaints. (This is known as ‘Hooters Syndrome’.)
– “Press World”

IDENTITY THEFT … BY A VENDOR:
Upon buying a new computer, a Boulder CO woman asked the store to save the files from her old PC to a disk. Employees did that, using a floor model computer – but they failed to remove her files from that floor model. It was eventually sold, still containing her private documents, personal info and photos, something she only discovered when the purchaser called her. The store’s defence: ‘There is no expectation of privacy’. The two sides are expected to settle later THIS MONTH. (Don’t you worry there’s a computer somewhere that knows more about you than you do?)
– “The Denver Channel”

SCIENTISTS SAY:
• After close to 30 years of plant breeding, Penn State University horticulturists have developed a unique flower called ‘Elegance Silver’ which they claim lives longer than any other. The white flower with burgundy feathers on the top 2 petals is designed to be used as a flowering houseplant. (Oh, it’s a houseplant? I give it 30 minutes at our place!)
• A new article published in the “Harvard Mental Health Letter” warns that, contrary to popular belief (and pharmaceutical company claims), NO antidepressants are without side effects. In fact, studies show that antidepressant drugs may actually increase the risk of suicidal behavior in children, teens and seniors. (An antidepressant that makes you suicidal? That’s like prescribing Metamucil for dysentery!)
• Doctors at the Ealing Hospital in London UK have come up with a breakthrough technique to treat varicose veins – they inject patients with a foam that expands in the blood vessels. (The ugly ‘road map’ lines go away, but your legs look like Dumbo’s.)
• Boston University researchers have found something new that may be good for your love life – pomegranate juice. It’s been tested on male rabbits and found to increase blood flow, allowing them to … er … rise to the occasion, so to speak. (Well that’s wonderful because, as you know, it’s really difficult to get a male rabbit in the mood.)

TRUE BS CRIME:
• An inept thief in Bedford, England has been arrested thanks to his – lousy fashion sense. The culprit’s clashing combination of green-checked, elastic-waisted pants, a tracksuit top and electric blue sleeveless T-shirt with the word ‘Criminal’ emblazoned on it in luminous yellow made him hard to miss – especially when he passed by the very store where he’d stolen the gear! (He’s now wearing a color-coordinated prison jumpsuit with the slogan ‘Girlfriend’.)
• A Chinese man has been caught trying to smuggle his 10-lb pet turtle onto a plane at Guangzhou airport by – pretending to be a hunchback. The man, in his 60s, actually got through the security check with the turtle strapped to his back, but was later stopped by a guard who thought his hump looked odd and asked for ID. (Does the name Quasimodo ring a bell?)

BEST BREAKFAST CEREALS:
Based on whole grain and fiber content, and the absence of trans fats, excess sugar and sodium …
• ‘Whole Grain Total’ (General Mills)
• ‘Frosted Mini-Wheats’ (Kellogg’s)
• ‘Fiber One’ (General Mills)
• ‘Cheerios’ (General Mills)
• ‘Post Grape-Nuts Flakes’ (Kraft)
(Wait, they missed one – ‘New & Improved Ralston Purina Bark & Twigs’.)
– AskMen.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Kangaroos can’t walk backwards.
– “Focus”
• There were 1,700 cases of sexual assault in the US military reported in 2004.
– AP

AND WE QUOTE:
“It’s hard waking up and not liking yourself.”
- Kelly Osbourne

THE BULL SHEET 05.10.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [59] Donovan, Glasgow, Scotland, oldies singer (“Mellow Yellow”) touring US this summer

1955 [50] Chris Berman, Greenwich CT, ESPN/ABC sportscaster (“Monday Night Football Halftime Report”)  QUOTES: “Back, back, back, back. Gone!”/”He-could-go-all-the-way!”

1960 [45] Bono (Paul Hewson), Dublin, Ireland, rock singer (U2-“Vertigo”, “Beautiful Day”)/only person nominated for an Oscar, Grammy, Golden Globe & Nobel Prize

1965 [40] Linda Evangelista, St Catharines ON, aging fashion model (1 of the 5 original ‘supermodels’)/Canadian Walk of Fame (2003)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Child Care Provider Appreciation Day”, saluting the dedicated souls who interact with our children during the important formative years of their lives.

TODAY is the annual “Clean Up Your Room Day”. Once a year? What, were you born in a barn?

TODAY is “Trust Your Intuition Day”, a day to listen to your ‘gut feelings’ and act upon them. Is it true – are women better at this than men?

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1853 [152] The ‘Potato Chip’ is invented by Chef George Chum of the Carey Moon Lake House in Saratoga Springs NY (just yesterday at the gas station, I bought a bag from the original batch)

1908 [97] 1st (unofficial) ‘Mother’s Day’ held, at the request of Philadelphia’s Anna Jarvis

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1983 [22] Lee Chin Yong performs a record 170 continuous chin-ups in Seoul, Korea

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] 2005 “Cannes Film Festival” begins
[Wed] Third Shift Workers Day
[Wed] Eat What You Want Day
[Wed] Receptionists Day
[Thurs] Limerick Day
[Thurs] International Nurse’s Day
[Mon] “Star Wars Marathon” (London UK)
[Mon] “Everybody Loves Raymond” series finalé
[Sat] Native American Day
[Sat] Dance Like A Chicken Day
This Week Is . . . Stuttering Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . Skin Cancer Detection & Prevention Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
REALLY BAD CAREER CHOICES:
• Atheist Missionary
• Flatus Odor Judge
• Nuclear Warhead Sensitivity Technician
• Prison Glee Club President
• Rotten Sardine Taste Detector
• Dysentery Stool-Sample Analyser
• Zipper Tester
• Fertility Clinic Janitor
• Vice President, Screen Door Sales, North Pole Division
• Assistant To The Boss’ Nephew
• NHL Fan

WHAT GUYS ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• “7 Signs She’ll Be Good In Bed” [“Men’s Health”]
• “Sex Bomb Brittany Murphy!” [“Maxim”]
• “The Sexiest Woman Alive: Who is She?” [“Esquire”]
• “The World’s 50 Scariest Things” [“Stuff”]
• “How the Loudmouth, Shy, Rock & Roll Wannabe, Serial Dater Guy Always Gets the Girl” [“Men’s Fitness”]

WHAT WOMEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• “7 Sex Milestones That Bring You & Him Closer” [“Redbook”]
• “Make a Rosebud Wreath!” [“Woman’s Day”]
• “Want the Perfect Swimsuit For Your Body?” [“Glamour”]
• “5 Ways to Turn Up the Heat This Season” [“Chatelaine”]
• “The Biggest Sex Mistakes Women Make” [“Cosmopolitan”]

BS PHONE STARTER:
Who’s the most outrageous celebrity? (Paris Hilton? Anna Nicole? Nicolette Sheridan? Courtney Love? Michael Jackson?)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Teenage girls with college-educated mothers are less likely to use one of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A tanning bed.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life is a horse … either you ride it or it rides you.

 


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