Friday, May 21, 2004        Edition: #2794
Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY advance tickets go on sale for the JUNE 4th opening of ”Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban” . . . TONIGHT at the 31st “Daytime Emmy Awards” on NBC-TV from NYC’s Radio City Music Hall, ”General Hospital”, “As the World Turns”, “The Bold & the Beautiful”, “Guiding Light” and “The Young & the Restless” are all up for ‘Best Daytime Drama’ . . . SUNDAY George Clooney, Brad Pitt & Catherine Zeta Jones will all be at the “Monaco Grand Prix”, wearing fire-proof black & white racing gear with a cool “Ocean’s 12″ logo, a stunt to promote the movie in Europe before its release NEXT YEAR . . . SUNDAY Donald Trump is the Grand Marshal of NYC’s “Israeli Day Parade” . . . Rumor is CBS-TV will pay Madonna $10 million for a 2-hour concert special from the “re-Invention Tour”, which would be her 1st special on a broadcast network . . . NEXT MONTH Sylvester Stallone is launching a line of nutrition products in health-food stores . . . After he recently had all his blonde locks cut off, former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has had her philandering hubby David Beckham’s hair woven into her own (yech!) . . . Bruce Willis has reportedly angered locals near his Malibu CA home because he keeps walking down the beach – without any clothes on (yech!) . . . And word has it actors Rachel Bilson & Adam Brody who play lovers ‘Summer Roberts’ & ‘Seth Cohen’ on FOX-TV’s “The OC” may not be doing much acting – the romance is apparently continuing off-camera.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – It been revealed the 30-year-old Seattle man who’s accused of stalking her was aided by his wife, who actually helped book him into locations where Avril was performing.
• Jessica Simpson – TOMORROW she performs at “Allure” magazine’s “Play Safe in the Park Benefit Concert” for the Skin Cancer Foundation in NYC’s Central Park.
• Nelly Furtado – TODAY she does TV’s “On Air With Ryan Seacrest”.
• Madonna – She’s changed her mind and crossed Israel off her tour list. Seems it’s just too precarious even for the noted risk-taker.
• Montgomery Gentry – TONIGHT they’re on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Terri Clark – NEXT MONTH she’ll become the newest member of the Grand Ole Opry.
• Michelle Branch – For the first time in years, she says she’s going to spend this summer doing what we’d all like to do – taking it easy.
• Norah Jones – She’s touring Europe for a month beginning MAY 29th in Paris, then begins the North American leg AUGUST 12th in Antioch TN.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Stateside” (R-rated Drama): Jonathan Tucker & Rachael Leigh Cook co-star in the story of a rebellious rich kid who winds up in the US Marine Corps, where he falls for an  actress-rocker-mental patient just before heading off to war. Director Reverge Anselmo, himself a former Marine, made members of the cast pass boot camp in order to participate in the production.

IT’S A WACK WORLD:
• A German couple brought up in a religious environment who went to the Lubek fertility clinic after 8 years of marriage have found out why they are still childless – they weren’t having sex.
• Inmates about to be released from South African prisons have been attacking wardens – so they can remain behind bars. The jailbirds are reportedly following orders from gang bosses who want them to stay in the slammer so they can help in a recruitment drive.
• In an attempt to attract more tourists THIS SUMMER, the regional government of Rome will offer a package that includes gladiator lessons, Latin classes, and a typical ancient Roman feast. But there’s one change from the old days – the post-dinner purging ritual will be dropped.

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• 60% of women say they put on and remove make-up every single day of their lives.
• 40% of single men would never consider dating a woman that makes more money.
• 20% of us say that we have thrown a party in a hotel room.
• 18% of coins are infected with bacteria, including staphylococcus and E Coli.
• 17% of adults regret thinking about work while on vacation.

TRY THIS IDEA ON YOUR KID:
Could this be the ultimate low-maintenance pet? ‘The Ant Store’ in Berlin, Germany caters to people who just don’t have time for a dog or cat. The advantages to ants as pets – they don’t eat much, they don’t smell, they don’t make any noise, and they are fastidiously clean. (But just try to get rid of the little buggers when you don’t want them!)

ONLINE CHURCH ATTRACTS VIRTUAL IDIOTS:
LAST WEEK the world’s first Internet church, “Church of Fools”, was launched as a cooperative effort between the Methodist Church and the multi-denominational ‘Ship of Fools’ project. The site enables worshipers to choose a 3-D animated character to kneel, sing hymns, hear a sermon, and – talk to others. And that’s where problems have begun – several of the upwards of 10,000 daily visitors have been logging as ‘Satan’ and keyboarding profanity during sermons. Site designers are currently working to upgrade security. And what kind of church would it be without taking up a collection? The site allows ‘offerings’ via mobile phone.
NET: http://www.shipoffools.com

THE DIRTIEST FOODS:
Things we eat that can be the most hazardous …
10. Scallions (linked to fatal outbreaks of Hepatitis-A)
9. Cold Cuts (can contain Listeria, a dangerous bacteria)
8. Pre-Packaged Tossed Salads (contents are often contaminated with E Coli)
7. Peaches (tough to clean all the pesticide off because of the peach fuzz)
6. Cantaloupe (dangerous bacteria on the rind is hard to wash off)
5. Eggs (they cause over 600,000 cases of food poisoning each year)
4. Oysters (many are tainted with the Norovirus and bacteria)
3. Ground Turkey (1 in 4 packages contain bacteria)
2. Ground Beef (due to heavy processing, it’s often loaded with E Coli bacteria)
1. Chicken (in one study more than 40% of samples contained sickening bacteria)
(So what’ll you be having for dinner now?)
– “Men’s Health” magazine.

BS AMAZING FACT:
NYC’s Yankee Stadium no longer sells ‘Cracker Jack’ as immortalized in the baseball anthem “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”. It’s been replaced by the competing product ‘Crunch ‘n Munch’. Perform your own audio edit here …
NET: http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Cottage/3192/Ballgame.html
– “Newsday”
• A third of German motorists fantasize about sex while stuck in traffic. Only 10% think of finding an alternate route.
– Auto Club Europa poll.

AND WE QUOTE:
“It’s retarded.”
– “Mean Girls” actress Lindsay Lohan’s response to 2 separate questions – “Is the tabloid report that she’s had breast-enhancement surgery true?” and “Is the rumor she’s feuding with actress Hilary Duff true?”.

THE BULL SHEET 05.21.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [63] Bobby Cox, Tulsa OK, MLB baseball manager (Atlanta Braves 1978-81 and 1990-present)

1951 [53] Al Franken, NYC, talk show host (Air America Radio)/author (“Lies & the Lying Liars Who Tell Them – A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right”)/comedian (1997 Grammy Award-“Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot”)/former “Saturday Night Live” writer/performer (1975-80, 1985-95)

1952 [52] Dave Wannstedt, Pittsburgh PA, NFL head coach (Miami Dolphins)

1957 [47] Judge Reinhold, Wilmington DE, movie actor (“The Santa Clause 2″, “Beverly Hills Cop”)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [54] Bernie Taupin, Sleaford UK, lyricist (Elton John’s songwriting partner-“Candle in the Wind”, “Your Song”, “Rocket Man”, “Daniel”, “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”, “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”)

1961 [43] Dana Williams, Dayton OH, country singer (Diamond Rio-“I Believe”, “Beautiful Mess”)

1970 [34] Naomi Campbell, London UK, fashion model/occasional actress (“Girl 6″, “Unzipped”)  whose 3-day birthday party for 800 is now in its 2nd day on the French Riviera

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “International Wait Staff Day” (wouldn’t “Servers Day” be better?), set aside for restaurant managers and patrons to show appreciation for the efforts of servers. It’s interesting how tipping varies by geography. In Australia, China, Japan & New Zealand, tipping is basically non-existent. In Egypt and Mexico you are expected to tip, it’s a way of life. In Britain you have to decide if an establishment is a pub that serves food (don’t tip) or a restaurant with a bar (do tip). In the US & Canada a 15-20% tip is expected, depending on the level of service.

TODAY is “Bike to Work Day”, a constructive way to fight obesity, traffic congestion, and air pollution.

TODAY is “National Memo Day”, a day for office workers who are tired of memos from bosses’ to post their own. The ultimate act is to post a memo complaining about too many memos. (Then clean out your desk and go home.)

TODAY in Macedonia, Greece is the annual “Anastenaria Firewalking Festival”, highlighted by barefoot dancing on hot coals. (Mmm, barbecued toe!)

TOMORROW is “National Maritime Day” in America, by presidential proclamation. (Har, hoist that bilge, matey!)

TOMORROW is “Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day”, encouraging us all to learn the craft of making music. (What’s the most unbearable musical instrument to hear a family member or neighbor practising on?)

TOMORROW is “Immigrants Day in Canada”, a day to recognize the contributions of those who came here from elsewhere. (If you go back far enough, wouldn’t that include all of us?)

MONDAY the “2004 Polar Music Prizes” will be handed out by King Carl XVI Gustaf in Stockholm, Sweden. Among those winning a $130,000 award – blues legend BB King, whose citation will be read by former Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page.

Yee haw! It’s “Victoria Day” weekend, a truly Canadian holiday begun in 1845 as a celebration of national unity. It commemorates the birth of Queen Victoria on May 24, 1819, Britain’s longest-reigning monarch (1837-1901). This year ‘May 2-4′ is actually on May 24th for a change.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [05] After 18 winless nominations, Susan Lucci, famous for her longtime character ‘Erica Kane’ on “All My Children”, finally wins the elusive “Daytime Emmy Award” for ‘Best Actress’

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1914 [90] ‘Greyhound Bus Co’ begins operation

1994 [10] World’s 1st ‘genetically-engineered tomatoes’ go on sale, priced at $2.79/lb

COMING UP . . .
[Sun] World Turtle Day
[Mon] Madonna’s re-Invention Tour begins (LA CA)
[Mon] Country Music Celebrity Motorcyle Ride (Las Vegas)
[Mon] International Jazz Day
[Mon] Brothers Day
[Mon] Morning Radio Wise Guy Day
[Mon] Escargot Day
[Tues] Stanley Cup final begins (go Flames!)
[Tues-Wed] “American Idol” final
[Tues] “Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” released on DVD
[Wed] 39th Academy of Country Music Awards (Las Vegas)
[Wed] Rush 30th Anniversary Tour begins (Nashville)
This Week Is . . . Reading is Fun Week / EMS Week
This Month Is . . . Running & Fitness Week / Moving Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS ‘SMALL FRY GAME’:

Everybody knows about kittens and puppies, but what do you call the babies of the following animals?
• crab (megalops)
• turkey (poult)
• bee (larva)
• seal (beach weaner)
• monkey (infant)
• peafowl (peachick)
• spiny anteater (puggle)
• alligator (hatchling)
• owl (owlet)
• cockroach (nymph)
• llama (cria)
– EnchantedLearning.com, “A Pinky is a Baby Mouse”

BEST ALL-TIME MOVIE DEATHS:
1. Janet Leigh’s famous shower scene in the Hitchcock thriller “Psycho” (1960).
2. Slim Pickens riding the bomb bronco-style in Stanley Kubrick’s “Dr Strangelove” (1964).
3. The ape’s fall to Earth in the original version of “King Kong” (1933).
4. Alan Rickman’s plunge from a 30-story building in “Die Hard” (1988).
5. The bullet-riddled car scene in “Bonnie & Clyde” (1967).
– New poll by “Total Film” magazine.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Partly because there are more and more demands on our time, 23 million fewer of THESE were sold last year than in 2002.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Books.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Adults are just kids who owe money.

 


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