Wednesday, May 5, 2004        Edition: #2782
Bullseye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Valerie Pringle hosts CBC-TV’s 1st taping of “Canadian Antiques Roadshow” in Saint John NB (show begins airing THIS FALL) . . . TONIGHT there’s a wrap party for the “Frasier” cast and guests in a Santa Monica CA airplane hangar (final episode airs MAY 11th) . . . Jennifer Aniston tells “TV Guide” that she & hubby Brad Pitt will not co-star in a movie together because they don’t want “bull’s-eyes on our heads” (too bad – the only couple that could legitimately inherit the title ‘Bennifer’) . . . Meantime, Brad Pitt has reportedly saved “Oceans 11 and 12″ co-star Matt Damon from choking on a hunk of steak during a late-night dinner at a Chicago restaurant . . . Word is John Lennon’s son Sean has been dating Rolling Stone Mick Jagger’s daughter Elizabeth ever since they were introduced at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony in NYC in MARCH . . . Actor Keanu Reeves has purchased a luxury home on the Italian island of Capri for his ailing sister Kim, who has long suffered from leukemia . . . Arnold Schwarzenegger is threatening to sue an Ohio company that is selling a bobblehead doll featuring his name and likeness, his lawyer noting that he does not permit the use of his likeness on commercial products in the US – except for movie promotions . . . And to coincide with the debut of the 2nd season of “The Apprentice” THIS FALL, Donald Trump is releasing “Think Like a Billionaire”, an advice book that outlines the fast track to the good life (“Step #1: Get a whole bunch of money …).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alison Krauss & Union Station – TODAY they’re headlining the “Great High Mountain Tour” that kicks off in Knoxville TN, featuring bluegrass and ‘old-timey music’.
• Liz Phair – She’s headlining THIS SUMMER’S 17-city “Chicks with Attitude Tour” that also includes the Cardigans, Charlotte Martin & Katy Rose.
• Whitney Houston – She says her stint in rehabilitation in MARCH has radically turned her life around. Quote: “I now feel whole. I am finally fully myself again and feel stronger than ever.”
• Sting – He tells the BBC he never actually said he practises ‘Tantric sex’ with wife Trudie Styler as has been widely quoted, but he’s allowed the urban myth to spread for years. In fact, he claims he doesn’t even know what ‘Tantric sex’ is (using yoga to achieve prolonged states of ecstasy).
• Kid Rock – TODAY he does TV’s “On Air With Ryan Seacrest”.
• Snoop Dogg – Mobile phone company Zingy is now offering recordings of his voice as ring tones including one that says, “Get off yo ass, you got a call.”
• Mariah Carey – In addition to a line of jewelry and accessories, she says she also wants to start a line of clothing … for kids.
• No Doubt – Gwen Stefani tells the JUNE issue of “Cosmopolitan” the group is NOT breaking up, merely taking some time apart to pursue independent projects.

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo –
• ‘Whitelisting’ – The opposite of blacklisting. Creating a list of people or companies you’ll accept e-mail from. To reduce spam, people are using Internet ‘whitelisting’ services to filter e-mail. (If one is built into your e-mail program [Hotmail, for instance], be sure to enter “BS”!)
• ‘Mini-Dolls’ – The dolls that are really moving in toy stores these days are mostly 2 to 5-inches-tall. Sales of mini-dolls (anything under 9 inches) have shot up by 60% in the past year.
• ‘Viagra Divorce’ – A divorce granted on the grounds that a husband is behaving aggressively or unfaithfully after taking an anti-impotence drug.

TRAVELERS ARE SUCH PIGS:
A new poll by online travel company Orbitz shows that some of us are really lacking when it comes to hotel etiquette. A few survey lowlights …
• 60% take the toiletries supplied in the bathroom.
• 50% of singles admit to sneaking a partner into their room, 10% of guests admit to sneaking a pet in.
• 33% bring an alarm clock because they don’t trust the hotel to wake them up.
• 31% admit to locking themselves out their rooms.
• 25% leave their wet towels lying on the floor.
• 18% admit to stealing towels, 14% ashtrays, 2% bathrobes and bath mats.
• 13% leave the TV on when they check out.
• 9% eat in bed, leaving a crummy mess behind.
And here’s a typical excuse for being such a bad guest – “For the prices they charge, you should be allowed to take something.”
– “Chicago Sun-Times”

ROCK-A-BYE ROBOT:
Design student Garry Cho of London’s Brunel University has developed the ‘Caring Cot’, based on a standard wooden child’s crib. But his invention has some extras – a microphone fitted to a sensor detects when the baby starts to cry and and sets off a mechanism which moves the crib up-and-down for approximately 45 seconds, putting the child back to sleep. Experiments have shown the up-and-down movement is more effective than the traditional side-to-side rocking motion that’s been used for eons. If the baby has not stopped crying, the automatic crib repeats the motion. (Someday soon, parents of newborns may actually sleep more than an hour a night!)
– “Ananova”

ALL-TIME BEST TV MOMS:
1. ‘Claire Huxtable’ (Phylicia Rashad) in “The Cosby Show”.
2. ‘Marion Cunningham’ (Marion Ross) on “Happy Days”.
3. ‘Marge Simpson’ (voiced by Julie Kavner) of “The Simpsons”.
– Just-released poll by Opinion Research Corporation.

CARNIVORES STINK:
Dentists say that yucky ‘keto breath’ or ‘acetone breath’ has become a real problem for the many adherents to popular low carb, high protein diets. But the smelly sulfur compounds that form bacteria on the gums and tongue can be controlled by …
• Brushing and flossing at least twice a day.
• Chewing sugarless gum which increases saliva in the mouth and neutralizes acids.
• Drinking plenty of water to cleanse away bacteria stuck in the teeth.
– The Academy of General Dentistry

NO MORE TEETH IN A GLASS:
UK scientists are convinced that we’ll soon be able to replace lost teeth – by growing new ones. Instead of false teeth, a small ball of cells capable of growing into new teeth will be implanted where the missing ones used to be. The procedure only requires local anaesthetic and the new teeth should be fully formed within a few months of the cells being implanted. That’s especially good news in notoriously dental-challenged Britain where the average person over 50 has lost 12 teeth. (Hockey players will also be thrilled!)
– “The Guardian”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• The Arizona state House of Representatives has just voted to REPEAL a law that prohibits people from carrying loaded weapons into bars. (Because nothing goes together like gun powder and alcohol.)
• The Camino a Canaan Cemetery in Santiago, Chile is now offering an add-on feature to its regular burial charges – coffins with motion sensors, which detect any movement after burial and send a signal to attendants. (Underground cell phone service is extra.)
• A 34-year-old Henderson TX man is facing 20 years in the slammer after setting up a romantic bubble bath for his wife complete with candles and music, then trying to electrocute her by pushing a radio into the bathtub. Unfortunately – for him at least – she caught the radio before it hit the water. (But then got all excited and spiked it.)
• An airline passenger on a Qantas flight from Melbourne, Australia to Wellington NZ got a little more than she bargained for after ordering an in-flight salad – a 4-cm (1.5-inch) whistling tree frog, sitting on a slice of cucumber. (But unlike most airline food, at least it was fresh!)
• New legislation in Germany will fine companies that do not have at least 1 apprentice for every 15 workers, and that includes – brothels. That means that, if and when the law is passed, Germany’s houses of prostitution will be required to hire ‘trainee’ hos. (Maybe local colleges could start co-op programs?)

BS AMAZING FACT:
The Calgary Flames have a $35.2-million US (C$48 million) payroll, less than half the $77.8 million (C$106.5 million) handed out by the NHL’s top paying team, Detroit – whom they just whipped!
– “The Hockey News”
• American corporations are now spending $15 billion-a-year on advertising and marketing to children, twice what they spent 10 years ago.
– “Christian Science Monitor”
• US bank customers pay out an average $228 in fees every year on their checking accounts and related ATM cards alone.
– Public Interest Research Group

AND WE QUOTE:
“I don’t know if that’s true … I’m hung like a hamster.”  – Brad Pitt when asked by UK’s “Sun” if he is the perfect male specimen.

THE BULL SHEET 05.05.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [61] Michael Palin, Sheffield UK, TV adventurer (“Pole to Pole”)/movie actor (“A Fish Called Wanda”)/ex-Monty Python’s Flying Circus comedy troupe  FACTOID: Monty Python’s 1979 film “Life of Brian” is currently being re-released in movie theaters.

1944 [60] John Rhys-Davies, Salisbury UK, movie actor (‘Gimli’ in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy)/TV voice (‘ManRay’ in “SpongeBob SquarePants”)

1959 [45] Brian Williams, Elmira NY, TV news anchor (“The News with Brian Williams” on CNBC)  FACTOID: He’ll take over “NBC Nightly News” from Tom Brokaw effective DECEMBER 2nd.

1981 [23] Craig David, Southampton UK, R&B singer (“Hidden Agenda”, “Fill Me In”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Cartoonist Day”, kicking off “Cartoon Art Appreciation Week”, to create greater public awareness of and appreciation for the cartoon. Now that Charles Schulz is gone, who’s the best comic stripper? (We like “Sherman’s Lagoon” creator Jim Toomey.)

TODAY is “Cinco de Mayo”, a Mexican holiday commemorating the 1862 victory over French troops at the Battle of Puebla that is also widely observed in the American Southwest. Mexicans everywhere (including 20 million-plus in the USA) celebrate with parades and fiestas. (And tequila slammers.)

TODAY we officially reach the “Halfway Point of Spring” with 46 days behind us and 46 more to go until the first day of Summer. (In Canada, that means it should only snow a coupla more times.)

TOMORROW is the 13th annual “International No Diet Day” co-sponsored the Canadian Association for Size Acceptance, to convince us to stop being obsessed with weight. You’re encouraged to wear a light blue ribbon and join the celebration. If you could eat as much as you wanted and not gain weight, what foods would you eat?
NET: http://www.eskimo.com/~largesse/INDD

THIS WEEK is “National Herb Week”, focusing on the use and history of herbs. What is an herb? The Herb Society of America defines an herb as ‘any plant that may be used for pleasure, fragrance, or physic’.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1904 [100] MLB’s 1st ‘perfect game’ (Boston Americans’ Cy Young vs Philadelphia)

1961 [43] 1st American astronaut in space (Alan Shepard, for a whopping 15 minutes)

1980 [24] 1st non-British player to win ‘World Snooker Championship’ (Canada’s Cliff Thorburn)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1939 [65] 1,904-lb ‘Big Boy’ sets world record for ‘largest pig’ (that’s a helluva lot of bacon!)

1979 [25] California’s Richard Brown sets ‘skateboard speed record’ of 71 mph

1991 [13] Yasuyuki Kudoh performs record ‘non-stop motorcycle wheelie’ that covers 205.7 miles (Tsukuba City, Japan)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] “Friends” series finalé
[Fri] “New York Minute” & “Van Helsing” open in movie theaters
[Sat] No Socks Day
[Sat] Single Mother’s Day
[Sun] Mother’s Day
[Sun] Lost Sock Memorial Day
This Week Is . . . Pen Friends Week International / Be Kind To Animals Week
This Month Is . . . BBQ Month / Bike Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
This week is “National Pet Week” so let’s play …
NAME THE FAMOUS DOG:
• Name the dog on “Frasier”. [‘Eddie’, played by ‘Moose’.]
• Name the dog from “The Brady Bunch”. [‘Tiger’]
• Name the greyhound on “The Simpsons”. [‘Santa’s Little Helper’]
• Name the dog on “Blue’s Clues” [‘Blue’]
• Name the dog in the “Garfield” comic strip. [‘Odie’]
• Name Snoopy’s desert-dwelling cousin in “Peanuts”. [‘Spike’]
• Name the dog on in the movie “Scooby Doo”. [Um ... ‘Scooby Doo’]
• Name Scooby Doo’s cousin from the country. [‘Scooby Dumb’]

BS PHONE STARTER:
THIS WEEK is “Bathroom Reading Week”. So what’s the absolute best material to read behind a locked door?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The #1 way people injure themselves at home is falling down the stairs. What’s #2?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Running into a glass door.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

LOOK WHO’S BS-ING NOW!
Welcome to this week’s BS samplers that include Kalan Huras @ N101 Istanbul, Turkey; Steve Greene @ KTUN Aspen CO; Nichole Riley @ WCMI Ottawa IL; Chris Valentine @ KLUB Victoria TX; and Jeff Winsor @ K-ROCK Gander NL.

 


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