Tuesday, May 27, 2008                 Edition: #3784
Don’t You Just Love the Smell of BS in the Morning?  

Expectant parents Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have finally settled on a new home in the south of France, the $60-million, 1,000-acre Chateau Miraval estate in the village of Brignol, which feature 35 bedrooms, a vineyard, an olive orchard, a lake, a forest and – a moat (that oughta keep out the paparazzi!) . . . LAST NIGHT NYC’s Fordham University wrapped a 4-day symposium on “The Sopranos”, at which dozens of scholars offered up some 60 research presentations on the long-running HBO show (ie: “Carmela Soprano as Emma Bovary: European Culture, Taste, and Class in ‘The Sopranos’”) . . . Wannabe star Jessica Simpson & NFL quarterback Tony Romo have been spotted hanging out together again, and this time it’s not due to an obligatory wedding appearance (so much for the Cowboys’ season) . . . 18-year-old British actor Rob Knox has been stabbed to death outside a London nightclub in an altercation over a missing cellphone just as he was about to get his big break in the biz, appearing in “Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince“ (opening NOVEMBER) . . . Thelma Keane, the inspiration for the mom in the long-running “Family Circus” comic strip, drawn by her hubby Bil, has died of Alzheimer’s at age 82 (funny how her kids haven’t aged a day since 1960) . . . And pseudo actress Carmen Electra’s latest project may be her greatest achievement yet: the ‘Portable Stripper Pole’, which she apparently intends to market as a ‘fun way to have a good workout’ (or at least lead-up to one).

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/A Channel) – Neil Diamond is the musical guest.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – The Roots perform.
• “The Moment of Truth” (FOX/CTV) – The 2nd season premiere of the reality show that straps contestants to a polygraph, then asks embarrassing questions. It’s the only game show where participants know both the questions & answers before they appear, yet somehow they STILL manage to lie and lose. The show airs in various versions in 24 countries … and now on radio! (see BULL’S BITS).

• Bow Wow (Shad Morris) – Looking to make the transition from rapper to actor, he’s joining the 5th season of Emmy-winning series “Entourage” (HBO), playing a stand-up comic who becomes a new client of ‘E’ (Kevin Connolly).
• David Cook – The latest “American Idol” appears on both “Live With Regis & Kelly“ (syndicated/CTV) THIS MORNING and the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) THIS AFTERNOON. BTW, it looks like Cook’s finally cashed in after asking out former “Idol” contestant Kimberly Caldwell on live television … they’ve been spotted out on the town in LA.
• Fall Out Boy – It turns out newlyweds Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson didn’t spend their honeymoon in a basement with ‘blow-up palm trees’ as claimed but rather on a real Caribbean island, followed by a jaunt to NYC where the band performed a private show for a ‘Sweet 16′ party.
• Nine Inch Nails – They’re getting set for a North American summer tour beginning JULY 25th, their first since 2005.

• “Cassandra’s Dream” ( Crime Thriller ): One of Woody Allen’s string of made-in-Britain films, starring Colin Farrell & Ewan McGregor as brothers, one a chronic gambler in debt over his head; the other madly in love with a beautiful actress he recently met. Their lives gradually become entangled in sinister situations with intense results.
• “Grace Is Gone” ( Drama ): John Cusack stars as a grieving father who takes his 2 young daughters on a spontaneous road trip in an attempt to help them deal with their mother’s sudden death in the Iraq war. Featured at a slew of film festivals and nominated for 2 Golden Globe Awards.
• “Rambo” ( Action Thriller ): 61-year-old Sylvester Stallone wrote, directed, and stars in the 4th and final film in the series that began in 1982. This time he attempts to rescue a group of aid workers in a remote Burmese village. Shot in Thailand and Myanmar (Burma) during the recent clampdown on dissenters, Sly claims he received death threats. Also available in a ‘2-Disc Special Edition’ and ‘Rambo: The Complete Collector’s Set’.
• Also released TODAY: “Darfur Now” (Documentary); “He-Man & the Masters Of the Universe: Volume 2” (Animation); “Jackass Presents: Mat Hoffman’s Tribute to Evel Knievel”; “Lipstick Jungle: Season 1” (TV); “The Three Stooges Collection, Vol 2: 1937-1939”; and “What Would Jesus Buy?” (Documentary).

A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 78% of women say they won’t get ‘romantic’ with a guy if they haven’t shaved their legs.
• 70% of female executives cite golf lessons as one of their secrets to success.
• 45% of us eat french fries at least once a week.
• 40% of women admit they have, at least once, thrown a shoe at their partner.
• 33% of guys, on the other hand, have been involved in a food fight.
• 25% of men admit they are afraid to approach a beautiful woman to talk to her.

• A website in Texas is selling 20,000 popsicles a month made from … ‘freshly squeezed pickles’. Bob’s Pickle Pops are touted as a healthy alternative to sugary treats. The original ‘Pickle Sicles’ were developed as a bizarre snack at a roller rink in Seguin TX and they took off from there.
NET: http://bobspicklepops.com/
• A new ‘Mr Potato Head’ toy called ‘Tater Of the Lost Ark’ comes complete with whip, fedora, leather jacket, gold idol and Harrison Fords’ very own cheeky smirk. Wow, who woulda thought George Lucas would sell out like this?
NET: http://tinyurl.com/28jnuy
• The new Van Der Led ‘WM2′ is a combination watch/cellphone featuring a 1.3-inch touchscreen display, stereo Bluetooth, and 1-gig of storage that will play MP3 and video files. Oh yeah, it also tells the time. This could be the hottest phone gizmo on the planet … at least until the “Get Smart” movie (opening JUNE 20th) brings back the ‘shoe phone’.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/5qcufw

Psychologists at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh, Scotland say that playing different types of music affects how wine seems to taste. In experiments, 4 types of music from mellow to heavy were played while samplers sipped wines and rated their flavor. The most dramatic change occurred when ‘powerful & heavy’ music was played while the subjects were drinking Cabernet Sauvignon. Testers were 60% more likely to rate the wine as potent as well. (How useful is this? Do Megadeath fans actually sip wine?)
– “Curious Times”

A Indiana University study shows that negative opinions and attitudes are contagious. Not only can being exposed to negativity change your disposition from good to bad, it can also take it from bad to worse. And the phenomenon also applies to consumer attitudes toward products and services. Negative feedback spread via social networks like MySpace and Facebook can have profound consequences. (I’ve always said [co-host] was a carrier.)
– ScienceDaily.com

British researchers have discovered the real reason many students don’t like math. According to the British Economic & Social Research Council, many young people avoid math careers because mathematicians are imagined to be socially awkward slobs. The study reveals that most students buy into a traditional stereotype that views the average mathematician as ‘an old middle-class white man who is obsessed by his science, devoid of most social skills and love life’. (Well that’s silly, just look at … um … )
– Pravda.ru

According to a report by Greenpeace, computer game consoles are a ‘toxic menace’ that contain chemicals which can affect memory and … sexual development. The environmental group claims that all 3 big-name consoles, Sony’s PlayStation 3, Microsoft’s Xbox 360, and Nintendo’s Wii, harbor hazardous materials such as polyvinyl chloride, beryllium and bromine. It says technology already exists to produce cleaner consoles but is being ignored. All 3 companies have defended their products, saying they comply with environmental standards. (Does this explain why many gamers can’t grow beards?)
– Reuters

• In Switzerland, a man is dead after agreeing to participate with his inebriated buddy in … a spitting contest. While trying to determine which drunken moron could hork the longest loogie off their hotel balcony, the 29-year-old Swiss dude took a running start, lost his balance, and plummeted 20 feet to the sidewalk below. (As the Brits say, he was ‘gob-smacked’.)
– “Herald Sun”
• In Japan, the Kishi Station for the Wakayama Electric Railway has solved its transit budget woes by hiring a really cheap stationmaster … a cat. The 9-year-old feline named ‘Tama’ actually wears a conductor’s uniform as she patrols. A company spokeswoman says the move has significantly cut personnel costs. (But they didn’t have to scoop the last guy’s litter box.)
– “Straits Times”
• In Norway, a Vietnamese man has fallen for a Frenchman’s scheme to double his money by … marinating it in a special liquid. The con artist convinced his mark to leave the money with him overnight so he could mix it with blank bills and let them soak in a magic money-doubling liquid. Predictably, the victim went to collect his cash in the morning and found neither his money nor the scammer. (Hey [co-host], give me a twenty and I’ll put it in this beer mug.)
– Xinhua News
• In India, the male employees who count the cash at a Hindu shrine can finally … keep their pants on. Employees at the Sabarimala Shrine in Kerala were told to drop their drawers 5 years ago as a means of preventing them from smuggling out jewelry and money left by pilgrims. A new electronic surveillance system should make that unnecessary. (But will likely make the pilgrimage less popular.)
– “New York Post”

• A new survey of British dental habits finds that 27% of respondents have used their teeth to open a bottle, and 13% have flossed while driving. (And at least 4% actually have teeth.)
– BBC News
• Amherst College in Massachusetts still hands out traditional sheepskin diplomas. Among its tips: Don’t store the diploma in a damp basement or attic, and keep it away from pets … who might eat it. Students who find a sheepskin diploma off-putting can choose the vegetarian option: a diploma printed on fine paper. (Not only did the dog eat my homework …)
– “Mental Floss”
•  Americans who buy an annual membership to a health club overestimate by more than 70% how much they’ll actually use it. (What’s 70% of zero?)
– berkeley.edu


1936 [72] Louis Gossett Jr, Brooklyn NY, movie/TV actor (Academy Award-“An Officer & a Gentleman”/Emmy Award-“Roots”)

1945 [63] Bruce Cockburn, Ottawa ON, pop/folk singer (“Lovers In a Dangerous Time”, “Rumours of Glory”)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (2001)/Order of Canada (1982)

1958 [50] Neil Finn, Te Awamutu NZ, oldies singer (Crowded House-“Don’t Dream It’s Over”,  Split Enz-“I Got You”)

1971 [37] Paul Bettany, London UK, movie actor (“The Da Vinci Code”, “A Beautiful Mind”)/married to actress Jennifer Connelly since 2003

1975 [33] André 3000 (Benjamin), Atlanta GA, hip-hop artist (OutKast-“Hey Ya!”, “The Way You Move”)/movie actor (“Semi-Pro”, “Hollywood Homicide”)

1975 [33] Jamie Oliver, Clavering UK, celebrity TV chef (“Jamie’s Kitchen“, “The Naked Chef”) who’s now worth an estimated $50 million

• “Ancestor Honor Day”, a day to reflect on the contributions of those who’ve gone before us.

• “Safe Kids Week 2008”, the 12th annual sponsored by Safe Kids Canada which notes that injuries continue to be the #1 cause of death for children. THIS YEAR’s observance focuses on ‘Pedestrian Safety’.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/5e2ncw

• “Sunscreen Day”, to create awareness of the importance of using protection against harmful UV rays from the Sun. Medical professionals advocate the use of sunscreens with a Skin Protection Factor (SPF) of 15 or more. Some are now saying that the potent new 60 SPF is required. In any event, you should slather on the goo even on overcast days as UV rays can penetrate through clouds.

1995 [13] “Superman” actor Christopher Reeve is thrown from a horse and sustains injuries that cause paralysis (dies of heart failure in 2004)

1919 [89] 1st ‘Pop-Up Toaster’ (and the 1st person to try and pry out a stuck piece of toast with a knife is electrocuted)

1930 [78] 1st ‘Masking Tape’ (and the 1st dweeb uses it to repair his eyeglasses)

1999 [09] Montréal engineer Julie Payette becomes the 1st Canadian aboard the International Space Station

1884 [124] 22-inch-tall ‘General Mite’ marries 19.5-inch Millie Edwards (just lookin’ for a little nookie)

1985 [23] Boston Celtics defeat LA Lakers 148-114 in the first game of the NBA championship series, setting a new record for total points by a team (foreshadowing of this year’s final?)

1994 [14] ‘Highest Temperature Ever Produced’ in a lab … 920 million degrees F at Princeton University (almost as hot as a leather car seat on a Summer afternoon)

[Wed] Amnesty International Day
[Wed] Senior Health & Fitness Day
[Fri] “Sex & the City: The Movie” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] World No-Tobacco Day
[Sat] Save Your Hearing Day
This Week Is . . . International Pickle Week
This Month Is . . . Better Hearing & Speech Month


• It’s being live-blogged online.
• Everybody’s drinking open source beer.
• There is barbecue-flavored ramen.
• Heat resistant webcam inserted in the grill lid keeps an eye on the food when it’s closed.
• It’s being held in mom & dad’s basement.
– BBSpot.com

Give each member of your crew a different buzzer sound effect, then let them judge whether or not your phone contestant is telling the truth. A few suggested questions …
• Have you ever lied to get a job?
• Do you find any of your spouse’s friends attractive?
• Do you like your mother-in-law?
• Have you ever stolen anything from work?
• Would you cheat on your spouse if you knew you could get away with it?

Forget the Joneses, I keep up with “The Simpsons”.

What is the creepiest creature of all, the animal you can’t stand to see let alone get near? (A recent poll is topped by ‘snakes’, perhaps surprisingly well ahead of ‘spiders’ and ‘rats’.)

Today’s Question: If you’re average, you spend about 52 hours a year doing THIS chore.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Deleting spam from your inbox.

The only short meetings are when no one shows up.

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