Friday, May 2, 2008       Edition: #3767

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

29-year-old actress Kate Hudson is on the cover of “People” magazine’s new ‘100 Most Beautiful’ issue; also listed inside: actress Salma Hayek, singer Mary J Blige, Bruce Willis & Demi Moore’s actress-daughter Rumer Willis, and comedian Sarah Silverman (has the world gotten uglier in the past year?) . . . Meantime, Jennifer Love Hewitt (“Ghost Whisperer”) & Patrick Dempsey (“Grey’s Anatomy”) top the ranks in “TV Guide’s” new ‘Sexiest Stars’ issue . . . ”American Idol” judge Paula Abdul has fiercely denied a TMZ report inferring she was drunk when she made her infamous screw-up on TUESDAY’s performance show, insisting it was a last-minute format change that threw her (to quote her on the show: “This is sooo hard!) . . . Oscar-winner Javier Bardem is ditching the bigscreen version of the Broadway hit “Nine”, citing exhaustion from a year of filming and doing publicity (not to mention all-nighters with Penelope Cruz) . . . Actor Robert De Niro is expanding his business empire with a new chain of Japanese-themed Nobu hotels, joining his worldwide string of Nobu restaurants, a partnership with chef Nobu Matsuhisa (the 1st hotel opens THIS SUMMER in the Israeli resort of Herzliya) . . . 37-year-old “Grey’s Anatomy” actor Justin Chambers (‘Dr Alex Karev‘ ) is finally getting a good night’s sleep after checking into UCLA Medical Center to battle a biological disorder that caused to him to get as little as 1 hour a week (try morning radio, pal) . . . Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie have further fueled rumors she’s planning to give birth to their 2nd natural child in France after moving into Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen’s villa in St Jean Cap Ferrat for the summer . . . And one-time country star Mindy McCready’s mother, Melody Inge, has now chimed in on her daughter’s reported underage affair with baseball ace Roger Clemens, confirming they were an ‘on & off’ couple (yeah, that’d pretty much describe it – you must be proud!).

• Bon Jovi – Richie Sambora is reportedly set to replace Poison’s Bret Michaels in the 3rd season of TV dating show “Rock of Love” (VH1). (Just don’t let him drive!)
• Coldplay – 600,000 fans downloaded the new single “Violet Hill” within the first 24 hours of it being released on the band’s website. It’s available for free until TUESDAY, when it will become a paid-for digital download.
• Fall Out Boy – Pete Wentz is being sued for assault & battery by a Chicago man who claims he was beaten up by him and his security team following a performance at a Chicago bar LAST JUNE. (Why does it always take these people so long to remember?)
• John Lennon – When he gave Gail Renard his scribbled lyrics to “Give Peace a Chance” in the midst of his famous 8-day 1969 ‘bed-in’ with Yoko Ono in Montréal, he told the teen to hang onto them because they’d be ‘worth something someday’. He was right – the scrap of paper is expected to fetch more than $400,000 when it goes up for auction JULY 10th in London.
• Lil’ Kim – The ex-con “Magic Stick” rapper recently had repo men at her door trying to take back her silver Bentley on which they claim she’s 4 months behind with payments. Her people say the uber-luxury car was ‘a gift’ 4 years ago. The matter is currently being hashed out.
• Madonna – She’s on track to net her 7th #1 album on the ‘Billboard 200′ with “Hard Candy”.
• Pink Floyd – Roger Waters’ giant pig balloon that blew away from the “Coachella Music Festival” on the weekend has been found by 2 families on their driveways in La Quinta CA. They’ll split the $10,000 reward.
• Snoop Dogg – He’s the latest knob-twister rumored to be helping Lindsay Lohan add some street cred to her 3rd album. Other producers rumored to have worked the project: Timbaland and Pharrell Williams.
• Tina Turner – The once-retired 68-year-old says she’s hitting the road again for her first North American tour in 7 years. It’s scheduled to kick off OCTOBER 1st in Kansas City.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC/CityTV) – TONIGHT Brit chart-topper Estelle (“American Boy”) performs.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – THIS MORNING Carly Simon promotes her new album, “This Kind of Love”.
• Miley Cyrus – Despite the recent tempest-in-a-teacup over her back-baring “Vanity Fair” photo shoot, the 15-year-old will perform as planned in a special concert SATURDAY at Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando FL.
• Sean Combs – TODAY Diddy gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, right in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater. David & Victoria Beckham, Jaime Foxx, Pharrell Williams, and Tom Cruise are among the celebs invited to his after-party, which is reportedly costing circa $4 million thanks to $400,000-worth of Ciroc vodka and the rental of 10 private jets.
• “Stagecoach Country Music Festival” – The Eagles headline TONIGHT’s kick-off of the annual 3-day country jam in Indio CA. More than 50 artists perform through the weekend including
Big & Rich, Carrie Underwood, Dierks Bentley, Gretchen Wilson, the Judds (in their 1st full-length concert in 7 years), Rascal Flatts, Taylor Swift, Tim McGraw, Trace Adkins, and
Trisha Yearwood. LAST YEAR’s inaugural event attracted over 50,000.
• “Radiohead In Rainbows From the Basement” (VH1) – SATURDAY they treat fans to a 1-hour, stripped down intimate performance taped in a London studio. It’s a set up for their world tour kicking off MONDAY in West Palm Beach FL.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Mariah Carey is the musical guest as ”Forgetting Sarah Marshall” actor Jonah Hill hosts.
• Spice Girls – SUNDAY Melanie Chisholm kicks off a 9-city “This Time” Canadian solo tour in Montréal.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – TODAY Neil Diamond flogs his new album “Home Before Dark”.
• “The Young & the Restless“ (CBS/Global) – TODAY country star Trace Adkins does a guest appearance singing his latest #1, “You’re Gonna Miss This”, to help ‘Nick Newman’ surprise his wife on their 1st anniversary.

• “Iron Man” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): Based on the Marvel Comics character, Robert Downey Jr stars as wealthy philanthropist ‘Tony Stark’, who develops an invulnerable robotic suit to fight the throes of evil. Stan Lee originally based the superhero on legendary reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes. Co-stars Gwyneth Paltrow & Terrence Howard. Expect sequels – the film’s stars have reportedly signed 3-picture deals. (See BULL’S BITS.)
• “Made of Honor” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Patrick Dempsey (“Grey’s Anatomy”) stars as a serial dater who realizes he has more than platonic feelings for his long-time best friend (Michelle Monaghan) after she asks him to be the ‘maid’ of honor at her wedding. He reluctantly agrees so he can attempt to win her over. Shot in NYC, London and Scotland.

According to a new study, the average computer keyboard can be home to millions of bacteria. Researchers have discovered bugs such as E coli and Staphylococcus aureus lurking on more than 30 office keyboards that were sampled. One was so filthy, it was estimated to be 5 times dirtier than a toilet seat, with 150 times the acceptable level of bacteria. The main causes of contamination? Eating at desks and dropping crumbs between the keys; and failure to wash hands after restroom use. To clean a keyboard try dabbing keys with a tissue soaked in rubbing alcohol. A vacuum cleaner can be used to clean between the keys. (Not recommended: dishwasher.)
– “Which? Computing Magazine“

A 2008 update to what seems to have become an annual ranking …
5. Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones who, after a life of debauchery, has carcass-like skin that looks as though it’s ready to fall off at any moment.
4. Pasty-faced bean-pole Ric Ocasek, former Cars singer. Why would gorgeous model Paulina Porizkova marry this guy?
3. Gap toothed, wrinkly-as-a-prune Steve Howe of Asia (“Heat of the Moment”).
2. Justin Hawkins, formerly of The Darkness. Amazingly, his ugly looks are nowhere near as hideous as the music he makes now.
1. Amy Winehouse. Ravaged by a steady diet of drugs & alcohol, she’s getting uglier by the day.

University of Washington astronomer Don Brownlee claims we’re all made of … stardust. How so? Before the Sun and planets were formed, he claims, most of the atoms in our bodies were carried in tiny bits of dust formed around other stars in our galaxy. (At last! Real hope that [co-host] can be a star!)
– “Science Daily”

More than 700 people are killed by falling objects every year. (The stock market, for instance.)


1950 [58] Lou Gramm (Grammatico), Rochester NY, classic rock singer (Foreigner-“I Want to Know What Love Is”, “Feels Like the First Time”)

1952 [56] Christine Baranski, Buffalo NY, movie actress (“Chicago”)/TV actress (Emmy Award-“Cybill”)/Broadway actress (Tony Award-“Rumors”)  COMING UP: Plays ‘Tanya’ in the bigscreen version of “Mamma Mia!”, opening JULY 18th.

1955 [53] Donatella Versace, Reggio di Calabria, Italy, fashion designer (Versace Group)/brother of the late designer Gianni Versace

1962 [46] Ty Herndon, Meridian MS, country singer (“It Must Be Love”, “Living In a Moment”)

1972 [36] Dwayne Johnson (‘The Rock’), Hayward CA, movie actor (“Gridiron Gang”, “The Rundown”)/6′-5 “, 272-lb former WWE wrestler (1996-2004)  COMING UP: Co-stars with Steve Carell in the bigscreen version of vintage TV sitcom “Get Smart”, opening JUNE 20.
1975 [33] David Beckham, London UK, soccer star (LA Galaxy, England national team)/wed to Spice Girl Victoria Adams in 1999/father to Brooklyn, Romeo & Cruz

1978 [30] Steve Bays, Victoria BC, indie rock singer/keyboardist (Hot Hot Heat-“Let Me In”, “Bandages”)

1980 [28] Brad Richards, Murray Harbour PEI, NHL center (Dallas Stars)

1985 [23] Lily Allen, London UK, pop singer (“LDN”, “Smile”)/BBC TV personality (“Lily Allen & Friends”)

Sportscaster Greg Gumbel (“The NFL On CBS”) is 62; Alt-rock singer Paul Banks (Interpol) is 30; Dancer Cheryl Burke (“Dancing With the Stars”) is 24.

Rock guitarist Mick Mars (Motley Crue) is 57; Country singer Randy Travis (“Forever & Ever Amen”) is 49; Rock bassist Mike Dirnt (Green Day) is 36; Former boy-band singer Lance Bass (*NSYNC) is 29; NHL goaltender Andrew Raycroft (Toronto Maple Leafs) is 28.

• “Aiken Lobster Race”, the 24th running of the world’s only ‘thoroughbred lobster’ derby, scuttles in Aiken, South Carolina. The Kentucky Derby spoof race features live Maine lobsters.
• “Be Kind to Smelly People Day”. So we what … hose them down and introduce them to hygiene products?
• “International Tuba Day”, observed annually on the 1st FRIDAY of MAY to celebrate the musical instrument that seems to get no respect, and to recognize tubists around-the-world who struggle with the ‘weight and size of their big instrument’. Whoa!
• “Canadian Tulip Festival” through MAY 19th in Ottawa-Gatineau. The world’s largest tulip festival is a direct result of the gift of 100,000 tulip bulbs from Holland’s Princess (later Queen) Juliana in 1945 as thanks for providing her a home during WWII.
• “Sibling Appreciation Day”, a day to let brothers & sisters know you care. (Or maybe to add up all the times you got ratted on, your hair pulled, your dessert stolen … and get even!)
• “Space Day”, an internationally-recognized annual event on the 1st FRIDAY in MAY that celebrates the wonders of space exploration. Special exhibits will be held in many museums.
• “Telecommuting Day”, to encourage employers to develop programs for employees to work at home at least part of the time (aka ‘Work in Your Bathrobe Day’).

• “Hug Your Cat Day”, a highlight of “National Pet Week”. Um, good luck with this idea!
• “Jane’s Walk”, the 2nd annual celebration of late urban activist Jane Jacobs with free neighborhood walking tours SATURDAY & SUNDAY giving insights into urban history, planning and design in 8 Canadian cities (Calgary, Charlottetown, Guelph ON, Halifax, Ottawa, Toronto, Vancouver, and Winnipeg).
• “Kentucky Derby”, the 134th running of the 1st jewel in the Triple Crown of horse racing, in Lexington KY. An annual excuse for celebs to gather and drink mint juleps.
• “Significant Other Day”, sort of an anniversary celebration for unwed couples. (Meaning, the male half will forget.)
• “Wordsmith Day”. Wow, how scintillating yet somehow egregious!
• “World Press Freedom Day”, as declared by the UN to recognize the value of freedom of expression, and the sacrifices journalists have made to attain this freedom. Some 211 journalists and media assistants have been killed in Iraq since the US invasion in 2003.

• “Firefighters’ Day”, to recognize the efforts of the brave hearts who risk their lives to keep us safe. (And what women consistently pick in polls as the ‘Sexiest Profession’.)
• ”International Star Wars Day” … May the Fourth be with you!
• “Relationship Renewal Day”, saluting relationships that have made it through yet another year. Couples are encouraged to celebrate and congratulate one another and each other.
• “Scrapbook Day”, honoring what’s become a hot hobby over the last few years. It now involves far more than just gluing a few pics in a book. It even has its own magazine …
• “UNmothers Day”, an annual event a week before “Mothers Day” to honor women who’ve consciously chosen NOT to be mothers. It’s also “Single Mother’s Day”, celebrating those who do the work of 2 parents all by themselves.
• “Weather Observers’ Day”, recognizing both pros and amateurs who follow the elements. (Hmm, which would [local TV weather reporter] qualify as?)
1994 [14] ‘Ron’ & ‘Erik’ tie the knot on “Northern Exposure” (CBS) in the first ‘Gay Wedding’ on a TV series

1997 [11] Mike Myers’ “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” opens in movie theaters

1670 [338] Canada’s oldest company, ‘Hudson Bay Co’, is chartered (now America’s oldest company)

1876 [132] 1st MLB ‘Home Run’ (Chicago White Stockings’ Ross Barnes vs Cincinnati Red Stockings)

1885 [123] 1st issue of “Good Housekeeping” magazine

1964 [44] 1st Canadian horse to win Kentucky Derby (Northern Dancer)

1986 [22] “Expo 86“ opens in Vancouver (22 million visit over the next 5 months)

1991 [17] ‘Longest Taxi Ride’ leaves Nokia, Finland for 15-day, 14,414-mile trip to Spain and back with the meter running up a total cost $16,000 … not including tip

[Mon] Music Monday
[Mon] Cinco de Mayo
[Mon] Cartoonist Day
[Mon] No Diet Day
[Tues] Toby Keith’s “35 Biggest Hits” released
[Tues] Cher’s 3-year engagement at Caesars Palace begins (Las Vegas)
[Tues] Astronomy Day
This Week Is … Public Service Recognition Week
This Month Is … Asparagus Month


• Everybody’s always asking you to crack walnuts for them.
• Female welders are really into you. But have you ever seen a female welder?
• Guys down at the junkyard always using the giant electromagnet to mess with you.
• ‘Carbon Nanotube Man’ always teasing you about how his suit is lighter.
• Tongue sticks to the inside of helmet in the Winter.
• Everyone assumes you’re into heavy metal.
• Clanking makes it hard to sneak up on the bad guys.
• Keeps setting off that security thingy when you exit Best Buy.
• Everyone makes the wrong assumption when you tell them you need to stay home and polish your helmet.
• And the biggest problem with having an iron suit … rump rust.
– Adapted from

The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Leona Lewis – “Bleeding Love”
4. Flo Rida f/T-Pain – “Low”
3. Sara Bareilles – “Love Song”
2. Chris Brown – “With You”
1. Lil Wayne f/Static Major – “Lollipop”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

• If you could have the world’s largest collection of any one thing, what would it be?
• Is it time? Should Don Cherry retire?

He’ll never go where he’s told until he dies.

Today’s Question: Studies show that if you have too many of THESE at work your co-workers may perceive you as less professional.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Personal photos.

Recessions are started by people who fear recessions.

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